Heart of a Hero

Sayaka and Madoka discuss the consequences of becoming a Puella.

Date: 2016-02-06
Pose Count: 12
Sayaka Miki 2016-02-06 22:49:49 27239
    It's a warm, lovely day in Penguin Park today. The sun is shining, children are playing..Oh, and Hitomi and Kyousuke are holding hands as they walk through the park, going on their very first 'date'.

    It's not the second time Sayaka is standing behind a tree, watching from afar, spying on them even..Kinda creepy really, the way she follows them around like this. The look in her tired eyes is one of utter despair..This was not how she expected her wish to turn out.

    Her hands clench tightly at her sides. Her soulgem is somewhat low again, and clearly she's been pushing herself a lot lately, keeping from barely holding it together.
Madoka Akemi 2016-02-06 22:59:13 27240
    Madoka has one of her school books slung under her arm as she walks through the park. It's a warm day for once so she's decided to go out and get some fresh air while doing some of the reading assigned to her over the weekend. She breaks off of one of the main paths to cut across the grass to make her way towards a bench over by one of the ponds when she notices movement by one of the trees.

    Her eyes go over in that direction for a quick peek to see what it is, only to stay on Sayaka when she recognizes her friend. A look of worry briefly crosses her features but soon she smiles, jogging over. "Hi, Sayaka-chan! How are you- ...doing?"

    The pause comes when she notices that her friend is peeking around the tree, following her gaze to see Hitomi and Kyousuke together. "Hmm," comes the worried sound.
Sayaka Miki 2016-02-06 23:12:16 27242
    Sayaka is so focused upon Kyousuke, that she's caught off-guard when Madoka suddenly calls out her name, causing her to jump several feet in the air.

    "Madoka!" She gasps, spinning around to confront her. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" She glances worriedly towards the happy couple, but Kyousuke and Hitomi barely seem to notice her shenanigans. With a sigh, Sayaka looks back at Madoka with a slight frown.

    "What are you doing out here? You're not here to give me homework, are you?" Hey, she's been skipping a lot of classes lately, determined to kill as many witches as she can. The look in her eyes is a mixture of anger and sadness as she regards her friend.
Madoka Akemi 2016-02-06 23:20:26 27245
    "Sorry!" Madoka is quick to apologize when Sayaka confronts her, "I didn't mean to startle you; I'll call from further away next time." The pink haired girl frowns a little. It's not good that Sayaka seems to still be so focused on Kyousuke, especially after it seems he's made his choice. Or, well, made it by default if Sayaka never actually confessed to him.

    Then a quick shake of her head, "No! I mean, I do have your homework, but I didn't bring it with me." She holds up her own book, "I was just going to do some reading, but then I saw you!"

    She looks down for a moment before turning her soft pink gaze upon Sayaka. "Sayaka-chan, I'm worried about you. I know things are hard and everything seems so different after hearing the truth. If there's anything on your mind you know you can talk to me about it, don't you? I'll always be here for you."
Sayaka Miki 2016-02-06 23:30:59 27248
    "Forget it.." She waves a dismissive hand, "It's not a big deal, really. Just..." Her gaze lingers towards Kyousuke again, seeming not to have heard Madoka's mention of homework. Really, she doesn't have time for homework anymore, she's a full time witch hunter now. And that gives her an...Idea.

    But she'll have to talk to Miss White another time. For now, there's the Kyousuke issue. Glancing back at Madoka, Sayaka's gaze softens a bit, and honestly, her heart is always warmed by the presence of Madoka.

    "We bumped into each other just before the big 'storm', y'know, Walpurgisnacht. Hitomi and I, that is." She smiles sadly at the memory, "That's when she confessed that she was also in love with Kyousuke-kun. But in the mayhem going on, she was afraid she might not survive the storm to see him again. But she also knew I was crushing on him too. She told me...'If we survive this storm, I'm gonna tell him, Sayaka. I'll give you three days to tell him how you feel..'

    Sayaka's eyes tear up again, looking away from Madoka as she squeezes her eyes shut, resting her arm against the tree. "But..I couldn't. Learning that I'm...I'm not even human anymore. Someday, I'll become a monster..And until that day, I'll always be an empty shell...A zombie!"
Madoka Akemi 2016-02-06 23:47:47 27252
    There's a little wince as Sayaka tells Madoka that Hitomi told her how she felt and that she ended up confessing her own feelings to Kyousuke. She looks down again for a few moments, unsure what to do.

    Then without warning she walks over and wraps her arms around Sayaka, hugging her closely, "That's not true. Sayaka-chan is still Sayaka-chan! It doesn't matter where your soul is, you're still you. The fact that you care so much about Kamijou-san is proof of that. If you weren't human you wouldn't care, but you do!"

    Madoka snuggles against Sayaka a little as she hugs her, "And hugging you is just the same as it always was, warm and soft and strong." She gives a small shake of her head, "It's okay to worry about what you might become... but please don't worry about what you already have, Sayaka-chan. You're still a wonderful person and a Magical Girl who protects people from monsters!"
Sayaka Miki 2016-02-06 23:57:20 27255
    Sayaka's too busy thinking of her own pain and her own feelings, that she's once again caught off-guard when Madoka hugs her. "Huh? Madoka..." She murmurs as she listens to Madoka's caring words. For a moment, they touch her heart, and her expression softens as she returns the hug.

    "Thank you, Madoka-chan..You've always been so very kind-hearted. Sometimes I think you're the only one who can soften Homura. In fact, it's only when you met her that she seemed to possess any emotion.."

    At least for the moment, Sayaka feels a little hope. Madoka's always had that special ability to make anyone feel loved. She still doesn't smile however, glancing back towards Hitomi and Kyousuke.

    "I suppose, I'm too busy hunting witches now, that I just dont have time for that sort of life, anyway. Even so, it's sad..Maybe I can never have that life with anyone, ever. And, I dont even know how much time I have left....Madoka, I'm...I'm afraid.."
Madoka Akemi 2016-02-07 00:09:39 27258
    Madoka blinks a little when Sayaka brings up Homura and actually blushes for a moment. "Homura-chan has emotions, she's just very good at hiding them. But now maybe she doesn't feel like she has to anymore, at least not all the time." This feels like a good moment to bring something else up, "Also, she said that she thinks you have a very good shot, Sayaka-chan. You helped defeat Walpurgisnacht, and it was stronger than she'd ever seen it! You haven't even been a Puella Magi that long and you've already fought and defeated a witch stronger than most will ever even see."

    She hugs Sayaka a bit closer for a moment when she confesses her fear, only to pull away enough that she can look up into her eyes, "No one knows how much time they have, Sayaka-chan. We just don't think about it very much. It's true you have to be a lot more careful with your magic and you have to fight dangerous things... but you've already proven that you can."

    The pink haired girl gives her friend a small smile, "You don't have to do it alone either. There are lots of people ready to support you. Especially Kyouko-san." She pauses for a moment before saying, "I saw her the other day and... she wanted me to tell you that she was thinking about you. Kyouko-san, she really cares about you. You know that, right? It's because of you that she's trying so hard to be a better person. She wants to try and live up to your expectations of her. Isn't that nice?"
Sayaka Miki 2016-02-07 00:24:19 27262
    "Heh..." a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips, but Sayaka stil feels some measure of pain, enough not to relax entirely, "You and Homura are close. Very close. So there IS something else there, between you two, isnt there?"

    She speaks of Walpurgisnacht, and Sayaka's progression as a Puella and she just smirks, "Yeah, I did survive that, but only because Kyouko-chan gave me a ton of grief seeds..Seeds that I didn't win or acquire myself. Meanwhile, she nearly died after using that corrupted griefseed.."

    Speaking of Kyouko, when Madoka brings her up again, it causes Sayaka to blush ever so slightly, "I know.." She sighs, "I know how she really feels. She..Wrote me a letter, which she intended to leave, incase she didnt return from battling Walpurgisnacht. I...Was touched, but...I dunno, it's all so very confusing!"

    She breaks away from Madoka's hug all of a sudden, her cerulean eyes suddenly turning cold once more, "You speak of such flowery words, and yet you know nothing of being a Puella! You're just an ordinary girl and you could never understand..It's nice to imagine that I might have more time than I think, but the truth is, I'm weaker than Homura, or Kyouko, or Mami. They're all powerful, all very skilled. They leave me in the dust. I have to work harder to fight witches, and because of that, I will be the first to fall!"

    Sayaka takes a few steps a way from Madoka then, searching the crowd for a moment for Kyousuke, but he's long gone. "Besides, I'm not such a good person afterall..Back during Walpurgisnacht, I saved Hitomi's life from a familiar. And before that, I saved her from a witch. And now, I felt regret at saving her. Now that I see those two so happy together, knowing I could never have that happy simple life...What sort of a person would have such selfish feelings? Even now..Knowing I'll become a witch at any moment, I still pretend to live a 'normal' life, putting people like you in danger as long as your around me. Really Madoka, I'm the worst.."
Madoka Akemi 2016-02-07 00:45:42 27266
    "Yeah," Madoka responds, blushing even more and as she nods. After a moment she continues, "You remember the ice skating dance, right? After everyone else had left we stayed together for a while and, well, she told me that she loved me... romantically. I, um, well. We're dating now. We just had our first real date a couple days ago." The happy giggle that escapes her is a pretty good indicator of how that must have gone.

    When Sayaka says she isn't responsible for her own performance fighting Walpurgisnacht Madoka shakes her head, "I don't know, Sayaka-chan. Just because you had extra magic to use doesn't mean you didn't use it well. I saw part of the battle; that was you who helped save her at the end, wasn't it? If you're really worried about it... think of it as an investment. If you had enough magic to protect and save her, surely that's worth a Greef Seed, right? What good would it have done her if she'd died, anyway?"

    Then the mention of Kyouko's letter and how confusing it is. Madoka's eyes widen a bit, "I know! Right?! I- I had no idea Homura-chan felt that way about me until she told me. I knew she cared about me a lot, and I cared about her a whole lot too. But... to love me like that? I'd never even thought about what it'd be like dating a girl, I never even considered it." Then with a blush she adds, "It can be nice, though. On our date... we went shopping!" And what boy is going to want to do -that- on an actual date?

    Madoka is blinking in surprise when Sayaka pulls away from her, stumbling a bit afterwards. The words hurt, but they would hurt a lot more if she hadn't already had to deal with them. "You're right. Of course you are- I don't know what it's like to be a Puella Magi, because I'm not one myself. But that doesn't mean I don't know what it's like to be in danger. I certainly know what it's like to worry about my friends. And... honestly, Sayaka-chan, I think I know very well what it's like to be weaker than everyone else and not be able to help in battles. When there's a fight all I can do is have my first aid kit ready and try not to get hurt, and hope my friends worrying about me doesn't put them in danger.

    Madoka smiles a little, "Mami-san, Kyouko-san, and Homura-chan have all been fighting years and years. Homura-chan fought on her own for over 10 years; she's very experienced. But you know what? That just means you can learn from their experience. Mami-san trained both Homura-chan and Kyouko-san, and I'm sure she'd be happy to train you too. More than that, I don't think any of them would feel like competing with you. Maybe it isn't realistic to think you'll all work together, but that doesn't mean you have to fight each other either; that's just a waste of magic. Homura-chan already told me she didn't intend to fight you. She worries about you too."

    Sayaka thinking that she's a bad person is the worst thing of all, though, because Madoka knows exactly how stubborn she can be when she gets some idea into her head. "You're not the worst! You protected me from that awful man the other day. You're right, it isn't good to have thoughts like that, but you don't have to be perfect. Nobody can be perfect. What's important isn't that you thought it... it's that you didn't act on it. A Hero isn't really a Hero at all until they're tested. You're strong and wonderful, Sayaka-chan. I believe in you!"
Sayaka Miki 2016-02-07 00:56:08 27270
    Sayaka continues to keep distance between herself and Madoka, staring away at the kids in the park. Some of what Madoka says hits home, but..Some of it passes right through her.

    "I'm glad Madoka, that you and Homura can be happy together. But I can never forgive Homura for witholding the truth from us all. If I had known the fate of a Puella, I may never have made that wish..Although honestly, I could never regret having healed Kyousuke's hands. At least some good came out of it. He at least can live his dream..But I can never be at his side.

    She shakes her head again, "Perhaps I can learn from them..Kyouko's been a great teacher. The way she handles everything, I admire her more than anyone else I know. She's the strongest person I know, and yet she still manages to keep her sanity. But even so, I dont know if I could ever be capable of love. A Puella's emotions are dangerous. Hope can easily become despair, especially from someone as weak as me."

    She turns around again to face Madoka, having dried her tears, her gaze hardenned some. "That is why I have to keep doing the only thing I can do: Fight as many witches as I can before the inevitable, rather than try and focus on hope and love, knowing that clinging to those things and losing them can only lead to greater despair. I just have to keep training until I can be strong enough to stamp out those feelings, them maybe it wont hurt so much.."

    Sayaka begins to walk past Madoka then, looking like she's gonna leave. She does grab the homework on her way past, however.
Madoka Akemi 2016-02-07 01:30:28 27278
    Madoka lets out a little sigh, "That's not fair, Sayaka-chan. You have to understand... there have been people who hunt and kill Puella once they learn the truth. Even... even people who hunt people who merely have the potential to become one." Considering Homura's focus on Madoka it's pretty obvious why this would be a terrible thing to her.

    She gives a small smile, "That's... not exactly true. It must hurt you a whole lot right now, Sayaka-chan but you can still be at his side as his friend. And you can still enjoy his music now that he can play again; you'll always have that." Her smile widens just a bit, "Aren't we all going to go to his concert together? I'm really looking forward to that!"

    Madoka then gives a fast shake of her head, "That's not true. It is never wrong to hope, Sayaka-chan. Love and hope... those are the two things that are never bad to feel. Maybe hope can turn into despair, but it's also something you use to keep from falling too deeply into it. As long as you have hope despair can never truly consume you, no matter how bad things get."

    When Sayaka calls her death 'inevitable' tears start to form in the corners of Madoka's eyes. "Don't say that! You don't have to just run off and work yourself to death, Sayaka-chan! There are people who love you and would be very sad if you were gone!"

    She tries to think of more she can say but before she can Sayaka is moving to leave. As she goes Madoka reaches her arm out towards her, only to find herself unable to find any words that might get through to her. "Sayaka-chan..."