After her uncertain encounter with Tadase, Utau had once again been accosted by those pesky bodyguards, who were there more to imprison her, than to protect her. She hadn't even dared to look over her shoulder as an angry and confused Tadase was left standing there, knowing it was better this way.
Even if it might have broken her heart to treat her childhood friend this way..
But she had more important things to worry about. Like trying to coordinate a meeting between Mikoto and Ikuto, preparing for her next concerts..And trying not to miss Kukai too much.
With a bit of luck, and some good timing, Utau had been accosted by a gaggle of young, over excitable Utau/DL fans, which had kept her bodyguards busy enough that she'd managed to slip away to a greenhouse somewhere. Unfortunately, in the confusion, she'd lost track of Iru, which left her feeling lonelier than ever as she wandered through the beautiful tropical flowers, trying to get lost in the indoor jungle..
Kukai had really planned on going past the gardens today - usually if he checks the perimeter of the park and doesn't see anything, there's not much reason to go in. But today he found himself going through the center, wanting something a little different from what he'd always done.
Kukai looks a little different today - the fire in his eyes is there, even more than usual, as if he'd found out something interesting or unique.
So now he's walking through one of the indoor areas, looking at the lovely flowers and feeling for strange energies through Daichi, when Eru suddenly pops up out of his pocket. "Utau-chan! Utau-chan! Tt's really you!" She shoots off towards one direction, and Kukai, mystified, follows her.
There's several butterflies inside the building, and they scatter as Kukai rounds a corner - just in time to see Eru latch onto and hug a very familiar blonde girl's neck. Eru: "Utau-chan! I missed you so much!"
If Iru were here, she'd be thrilled to see her longtime friend and sometime bully victim. As it is, Utau's a bit curious to see that Eru is happy to see her, especially given that they had left on somewhat bad terms the last time.
"Eru.." she frowns, a little drained from her run-in with Tadase still, "So you came back." she doesnt return the hug or try to remove the little fairy, although she does arch a brow at Kukai as he appears, the tiniest of smiles tugging at her lips.
"Kukai-kun..? I didn't know you were here too. Were you here with Tadase?" Were the other guardians around too? She narrows her eyes, suddenly on edge. Things have been shaky lately, and the last time she saw him, they were on opposite sides. Again.
Eru sits on Utau's shoulder and holds onto her neck gently, wings fluttering in happiness. She gets Utau-chan all to herself for just a minute! Daichi grins and waves at Utau, hovering alongside Kukai. "Hi Utau-chan!"
Kukai blinks. "What, Tadase's here?" He frowns. "You two didn't fight, did you? I mean I didn't hear or see anything as I approached. I tried to tell him that you're as much a victim of Easter as anybody else."
He approached her slowly, like a wounded animal, both hands up where she can see them, even as something inside him senses the electricity he's begun to crave rising. "Far as I know I'm all alone.
She shakes her head, reaching out to touch a sweet-smelling purple orchid, peering at it intently, feeling Eru tickling her a bit. Somehow, it feels good to have her other guardian chara back, and she's sure they have a lot to catch up on. "No...We just talked. He's a..A childhood friend. I suppose, we have a lot catch up on, but so little time. Even so, he has his reasons to be mad at me. Hate me, even."
She glances sidelong at him, sensing something a bit...Different about him, today? "It's...Been a while, Kukai-kun. I...Missed you." The last part is said more quietly as she turns to inspect the flowers some more.
Had he forgotten the dance? Had he been mad about her trying to get that book from Virtue? A lot things had happened since then, and things were confusion, but she still held hope, still felt there were things worth fighting for in this world.
Kukai moves over besides her and quietly slips an arm around her middle, looking at the flowers as well. "Oh? Man... You and Tadase and Ikuto and Nag-Nadeshiko all knew each other when you were little, huh? I kinda wish I had, too. But I dunno. Maybe it would have made things harder. Or maybe I could've helped."
He's warm and strong besides her, his hoodie, button up shirt, and pants - patrolling clothes - a marked difference to her elegant dark dress. "I missed you too, Utau-chan." He's blushing, looking down, one hand on her back, looking over the flowers. "I thought about you a lot."
Utau's eyes widen at the sudden movement, feeling her cheeks reddenning. She's not used to anyone holding her like that, being that clse to her at all. "Kukai..? What are you.." She should probably push him away, but..But for a moment, she actually welcomes it, welcomes the warmth, the comfort of someone else caring about her as something other than just an object..
If even for a moment, at least she wants to feel like she actually matters to someone.
For a moment, her hands slip from the flower, resting lightly over his. "I wont stop fighting you and your friends, you know that..Dont you. As long as he's there, in their grasp. Are you really okay with that?"
Kukai is quiet for a long moment, one arm around her middle, looking down at the flowers, keeping his arm around her. "A magical friend of mine recently told me that they don't think they're likely to live to an age where they don't have to worry about magic, and that they didn't understand why I wasn't doing everything I could to be happy."
He shakes his head. "I told them there was one major challenge I hadn't ever taken on - love. Daichi and my friend both told me how wrong I was not to try."
Daichi nods, crossing his arms. "Kukai has never passed up a challenge before and I'm not gonna let him now!"
Kukai laughs a bit, then turns, facing her. "So... yeah. I don't expect you to stop fighting. And I don't want you to stop striving for what makes you happiest, and if protecting your brother is what makes you happy, then you do it." He looks down for a moment. "I'm.. actually appreciating Eru a lot. She's been a lot of help in figuring out what love is." Eru beams and bounces. "Kukai's a fast learner!"
"Love..?" She arches a brow. What does Utau know about love..From a shattered family, a distant brother? So few friends outside of adoring fans who never knew the real her. Perhaps there is something she can learn here.
"Oh? what did she teach you about love?"
With a sigh, Utau hugs her arms, studying his face thoughtfully. "To be honest, I haven't experienced any love in my life, so I cant really tell you what that is. I suppose you're surrounded by loving friends and family though, so it must be easier for you.."
She smirks, "Of course, I could never stop fighting, as long as Ikuto's wellbeing lays in the balance. But..I dont want to hurt the people I care about either.." Her smile fades just as quickly, staring down at her hands. "You taught me that much. You believed in me. And now, I want to believe in you."
Kukai blushes, rather red, as Eru flits around, wings waving happily. "I'm trying to teach him everything I know! What it is and how it works!" Daichi nods, grinning. "She ran off the one time I tried to kiss her, though." Eru shakes a finger at Daichi. "It's not proper for a lady to get kisses on the first date!"
Kukai chuckles, then shrugs, that happy, confident grin on his face. "I dunno what to say. I'm not sure if I love you or not. I don't know you well enough. But I love the way you challenge everything I do, how you're so much of a match for me. It's great. And I dunno. My oldest brother has trouble expressing himself too, so maybe I picked it up from him."
He leans down, looking at her. "I don't expect you to stop fighting. And I believe in you too. I believe we'll find a way out of this." Closer... closer.
Eru dances around in a circle in midair. "Kukai's gonna kiss Utau-chan! Kukai's gonna kiss Utau-chan! You should really kiss him, he's gotten a lot of practice with that pink haired girl and the so-pretty purple haired boy lately!"
"Eru..?" She peers curiously at the little fairy who seems really excited today. But then, Utau hasn't seen her in a long time either. That must be it..Right? Still she has to agree with what she says. "Yes.." her heart pounds a bit faster. "A kiss is something special, it should be shared only when you're serious about that person, and totally committed.."
No, she can't say whether she loves him or not. She just doesn't know him well enough yet. "Then maybe it's time we changed that." She smiles, a familiar, challenging twinkle in her eyes. And Utau cant help but feel a bit curious about what a real kiss is like, with someone she at least knows she likes. A lot.
Suddenly he's very closer, close enough that her heart is pounding like crazy, her face turning redder. Maybe this is...
Then Eru reveals the ugly truth. Eyes narrow and she steps back, sticking her palm in his face instead, hitting him pretty hard if he doesn't move in time.
Kukai Souma grins, loving that little challenging twinkle in her eyes. He leans in, and his life is about to change in an instant. Then Eru keeps talking, and Kukai blinks, looking over at her. "Wait. What?"
The distraction is all it takes for her to move back and slam her palm into his face. He makes a small mewling noise and steps back, rubbing his nose and looking between her and Eru. "Wait, what? Hey!"
He tries to come up with some description of what's been going on while holding his nose, but Eru helps. "Oh, yes! The pink haired girl kissed him at the dance, and then he walked her home and kissed her forehead! And then the purple haired boy - he's so pretty Utau-chan, he'll make a wonderful boyfriend for you - came to his house and they kissed a bunch too! And earlier today~"
"Eru, can you stop?" Kukai sounds like somebody in a great deal of pain, looking between the happy, oblivious angel Chara and the fuming blonde idol in front of him. "It's... complicated, ok, Utau? I meant what I said but... there's a lot going on right now!"
She positively GLARES at him now, burning holes in his heart with her glare of HATE. Utau takes another step back and opens her arms. "Iru." she murmurs, and the little red devil girl is already there, fluttering to her side. Iru. Her only true friend. The only one who's ever been loyal to her, who has always been there for her. What a fool she was, allowing this..Two-timing..Scoundrel..To play with her feelings!
"I've heard....ENOUGH." she snarls, and with a cackle, Iru merges with her, transforming her instantly into Lunatic Charm. "You think this is a game, do you? Playing with peoples' hearts? Making them BELIEVE in you? Making them FEEL something for you? Like they're special, like they're the only one that matters!?"
Another wave of her hand, and she summons her Nightmare Trident, the tips crackling with deadly magenta energy, pointing it at him threateningly. "I've heard enough, Kukai. You can't have it all. You cant have Amu-san..And Nagihiko-kun...And me. Where are your loyalties?! Tell me! Was I just a joke to you? When I sent Eru to protect you? When you made me question my decisions? When we danced that night..?"
She hasn't attacked, and given the sadness that now shows in her eyes, it's likely she wont - she couldn't. Not this boy she cared about so much. Whom she believed in so much!
Daichi and Eru both eep. They can feel the anger washing off Utau as she transforms, and even Kukai can tell - she's furious. But he isn't giving up. "I don't think it's a game, Utau! I think I don't know what I'm doing! And I do believe in you, even -" He blinks, as what she says registers. She believes in him. She..feels something for him?
Daichi is hanging onto Kukai's hair, even as he steps forward, sudden moisture beginning to grow in his eyes. "Wait, no, Utau, please. Don't do this. Give me-" She shouts, and he can't keep his voice from matching hers. "My loyalties are with my friends! And you're one of my friends! You were never a joke to me! I've kept Eru safe all this time! I still am going to save you! And that night was the best of my life, for a very little while, until everything else in it went to hell!"
Kukai isn't attacking or Transforming either, but he isn't giving up just yet, dangerously close to those magically sharp trident prongs.
In Kukai's pocket, his phone starts buzzing.
She glares down at the quivering little angel. The guardian character that had so quickly and easily attached to Kukai, who had risked her life to save him at D-point. Suddenly, Utau feels nothing but hatred and disgust for the angel, even knowing that she is, afterall, a part of her, a part that could never stop believing in him, a part that could never bear to leave him for good.
"Tch." she snarls at Eru, "And you stood by and watched all this and said nothing. You TRAITOR!" she shakes her head. "She's worthless to me..Dont even bother coming back, Eru. And as for you.."
She glares back at Kukai, and he says something that makes her hesitate, if even for a moment. She's..His friend? He's going to save her..? And that night, the innocent dance. The first time she ever openned her heart to anyone..Ever felt anything for anyone..?
"Kukai..." Utau's voice breaks for just a moment, blinking to fight back tears. Even her hand shakes a little as she hesitates with the trident. But she's strong. She'll survive, even if she was a naieve, innocent fool. With a snarl, she rushes the trident at him, moving it within an inch of his face, then...
With a loud clatter, it drops to the ground. She cant do it. She cant hurt him, not after everything, after these damn, weak feelings she still has for him inspite of everything.."I was wrong..." she murmurs, backing away, totally lost. "Even those you care about will hurt you in the end.." She turns then, and simply...Walks away, de-henshining as she does so.
Eru shivers, hiding, and wails as Utau-chan condemns her. With a cry she retreats back to the little pouch Kukai keeps on his back and doesn't come back out.
Kukai watches her, seeing her hesitate, but then sees the trident raised and thrust at him. He can't help it. He closes his eyes and flinches, expecting to feel the pain any second now. But then there's a clatter, and he opens his eyes in time to see her turning and walking away.
And the damned part of it? He doesn't believe what she says. Friends, family, even loves, will all hurt you but they will try to make it up. The bonds that bind people, that bind him to her, him to his friends, her to their friends, both of them to everyone around them, are stronger than any pain he could cause. But right now he can't find the words. There's no way to find them, because all he can feel is his heart breaking. He wants to go after her. But he doesn't.
After she's gone, he wipes his eyes and looks at his phone.
TXT from Nagihiko Fujisaki: Found my phone. It was under my bed. =_=
Kukai turns, walking towards the door, trying to not cry.
You sent a text to Nagihiko Fujisaki: Can you just not bother me right now? Please? I don't want to talk to you.