Kyouko has been gone for about two weeks. This might be concerning in some circumstances, but she had left a note- or rather, a text message. It was not individual, but copied to Mamoru, Kunzite, Usagi- basically anyone Kyouko thought would be worried by her absence. Sayaka was not on the list, but this would seem to indicate that she got her own message/was told in person rather than that she wasn't told at all. Her likely 'business-as-usual' attitude during Kyouko's absence would lend credence to this theory.
Kyouko's soujorn comes to an end with a knock on Mamoru's door one evening, and the redheaded Puella standing on the other side of it in her street clothes. She seems fine, though her expression is a bit pensive, a thoughtful frown rather than a careless smile or exuberant grin. She shifts from one sneakered foot to the other as she waits for someone to answer the door- somebody has to be home. Somebody always is.
It might be possible that Kunzite might have, either himself or through sources at Infinity, kept an eye on Sayaka's apparent state of mind. From a little of a distance, anyway.
And it's true, somebody always is. In this case, the one who answers the door is Kunzite, once again in monochrome -- black dress slacks and a white button-down. His hair's started growing out, but not so much that it fails to make him look respectable in that outfit, which might possibly irritate the hell out of him. That's a transient and unimportant issue, though. Kyouko's expression is not.
The expression can wait, too. There's just one more important thing. "Welcome back."
Kyouko's expression does slip into a slight smile at the sight of Kunzite, looking slightly less-ridiculous with his hair growing back in. As he welcomes her, she steps forward to hug the taller young man, briefly, before slipping away and past him into the apartment. She doesn't need to be invited to feel welcome. "It ain't that easy to get rid of me." She jokes, as she pulls off her sneakers, glancing around. "You the only one here?"
A cursory examination of the empty living room would seem to confirm this assertation, and a brief sigh slips from Kyouko as she turns around to face Kunzite again. "Ah well, s'ppose if I tell you it'll reach the others anyway.."
The hug is returned without concern for his clothes; whatever he's up to, a couple of creases won't kill it. "Mamoru's off romancing painkillers," he replies. "He could be here, but we're trying to minimize the opiates while we can." Which means at least one of them is off with him. What the other two are doing is probably better not inquired into too closely, but there's no hint of recent cooking, so -- probably elsewhere.
Which doesn't mean there's nothing; Kunzite retrieves a box from the kitchen and sets it on the coffee table. Lid removal shows Makoto baking; heaven only knows how cupcakes have survived this long in a household occupied primarily by teenaged boys. "Let me guess. We have another new problem."
Kyouko looks briefly concerned with a slightly different cast. "Fiore still causing trouble? I had hoped that'd be taken care of by now, but I shoulda known better." She heaves a little sigh and flops down onto the couch, red hair spilling against the cushions as she reaches for a cupcake. "Ooh, Mako-cakes." She's grown to appreciate Mako-chan's baking skills as much as anyone, and that seems to temporarily lift her spirits at least.
But Kunzite asks about new problems, and she quirks her lips in a frustrated expression as she lifts one of the cakes. "Dunno how 'new' it is, and not sure about the 'we', but it's definitely a problem for Puella. You know the deal, right? We need to hunt Witches and get Grief Seeds, otherwise we'll die. It's basically a food chain. Well, there's been a lot less Witches around recently. Like, a significant number less. Enough that I started to worry about it."
She takes a bite of the cupcake, fangs sinking in, tearing away a chunk and chewing for a moment before she continues. "At first, I thought maybe it was just us here in Tokyo- there's a lotta Puella in town, concentrated, more than is usual. I thought maybe we were just overhunting. So I went on a little tour.. visited my old stompin' grounds in Kazamino, as well as a few other cities, talked to the locals."
She hesitates a moment, then shakes her head. "It ain't just here. There's less Witches everywhere. To the tune of, 'almost none'. Some of these places, things are already getting desparate. There's always been an element of friction between Puella. We fight over territory, over 'food', if you wanna think of it that way. But it's gettin' ugly out there, nii-chan. The farther I got from Tokyo the worse it was. Puella on the bring of 'starvation', fighting over scraps. Whatever's happenin', its going to mean big trouble for us within a few weeks."
"His flowers have made it into the news media by now." Kunzite takes a chair beside the couch, one that lets him keep an eye on the balcony entrance as well. "We know what to target by now, but he's been staying out of sight. Working on finding him, and figuring out how to get to him." It's almost a casual update, as if they had that situation under control. But at no point does he claim it's under control. That's -- very different.
Kyouko starts talking, and he focuses in, falling largely still. Need to hunt Witches and get Grief Seeds -- there's a brief nod to that. Something he's familiar with. That there's been less Witches around -- there's a nod there too. He talked with her a while back about Puella territories; she knows he's been keeping watch in the areas around Mamoru's apartment for signs of labyrinths, and she knows he'd talked with her about contacting her if he found any. There's been no such contact. Therefore no such labyrinth, not even a small one, or the hints of one having closed.
"You have options, here," he says quietly. "People capable of fighting them, not as efficiently as you do but capable, who aren't competition for grief seeds. But at best that only delays the problem a little." His eyes drop to his hands, lift back to Kyouko's face.
Kyouko has taken another bite of the cupcake as Kunzite talks, and she chews it almost absently as he offers his input. A brief shrug of her shoulders follows. "I ain't worried about competition, nii-chan. Things are different here. But having people to help hunt don't actually matter if there ain't nothing to hunt. And there's nothin' I can do about that last part." She doesn't bring up the fact that Witches are actually ex-Puella. It seems irrelevant, and though she trusts Kunzite, she promised not to tell that to any non-Puella except in the most dire circumstances, and it's a promise she means to keep.
"Look.." She pauses a moment, glancing out towards the window, then back with a sigh. "I'm a special case. I have.. means of surviving. Experience at it, even." Months without powers, but still a Puella. Time as Apatite, sustained by Dark Energy. "And I have a bit of a stockpile as well." Veteran Puella tend to- experience leads to caution. "But that only goes so far. Anyway, it ain't me I'm worried about."
"I can last. I'm used to being hungry. But Saya-chan.. Madoka-chan, people like them. They won't want to fight, and they won't want to compete, and when it comes down to it, they're gonna be the ones in trouble first."
She scowls slightly. "I'm not sure what's causing this exactly, but I think Kyubey is involved.. or at least he knows and isn't doing anything about it. If there's anything he can do, I don't even know. Point is, this might not be a temporary problem, but a long-term one."
Kunzite will have been aware of the energy flare somewhere in the apartment, maybe a minute or two ago. Jadeite's, familiar and bright. Not alone. Then maybe about forty seconds ago, again. In and out.
Somewhere toward the end of the last thing Kunzite said, a ghost appeared in the doorway behind Kyouko. Washed out and tired, front of his hair damp from having splashed water on his face a moment ago, he stayed silent, listening. By the end of what she says, Mamoru's face is expressionless, and he doesn't even lean in the frame. He just wipes his palms on the sides of his jeans and exhales quietly, then absently starts working the joints of his hands and wrists, massaging one until the hand doing the work gets tired, then switching.
He drifts silently toward the kitchen, and the sounds of coffee being prepared begin.
The ghost in the doorway came with a sign Kyouko could catch; Kunzite's eyes moving that way, staying steady; then a silent, small nod of acknowledgment. Nothing more than that, nothing that would interrupt her words. Just enough for her not to be surprised.
His attention diverts again while Kyouko's talking about being a special case -- not failing to listen to her, not tuning her out in the slightest, but thinking at the same time that he's listening. The conclusions he's drawing come from a different idea -- Walpurgisnacht coming out of its proper time -- but they lead him in the same direction; by the time she says the word 'long-term' there's no surprise in his reaction, only another nod.
There are a half-dozen ways that he might tackle the problem. But that's not his choice to make; he's not a Puella, he's neither an expert nor one of the ones most affected. And most of those half-dozen ways are damned intrusive to the Puella.
"She says it's a widespread problem, not local," he says aloud, for the sake of the one hiding with the coffee. And then, quieter, "And your lady uses her power without thinking about it, when she's angry." Something in his expression tightens a little. "I'd say we could look out for her, help her conserve. But I suspect we already do that to the limit she'd permit. So. Is there anything else we can do, beyond remaining aware?"
Kyouko has the instincts of a predator. She senses someone behind her before even Kunzite moves his eyes and nods. She even guesses who it is, from a variety of context clues. A brief glance as Mamoru moves to make coffee.. a tightening of her lips at how wan and unhealthy he looks. But there's nothing she can do about that right now- an unfortunate trend in the problems she's facing, of late.
She softly scowls her agreement to Kunzite's assessment of Sayaka. "She's too reckless, an' that's sayin' somethin' comin' from me." She says, placing the now-empty cupcake wrapped back on the table. "But I dunno what can be done about it. I'm gonna tell her the situation, of course, an' I think she's smart enough to grasp the implications, s'just.. well, some things only come with experience, and she's short on that though it's no fault of hers." A pause, and then she continues. "It ain't just about Saya-chan, though. This is gonna have every Puella in the city on edge before long, and there will be conflicts. It's in our nature even normally- the peace we've had here is extraordinary, an' not something I've seen before. Under this kinda stress it won't last."
She flickers her gaze to Mamoru before she makes her next statement, then looks back at Kunzite. "It's Homura I'm worried about, and not in a 'concerned' way. She and I.. this goes on long enough, it's gonna get ugly between us again, maybe more than before."
There's the sound of coffee, finally, beginning to percolate. And then, peripheral instead of behind, Mamoru again, this time in the kitchen door.
It's immediately on the heels of the last thing Kyouko says that he asks, gaze flickering only briefly to Kunzite before fixing on her, "But Sayaka and Madoka are Puellae too. If it came down to it, I know Homura would die with Madoka if she couldn't save her, but I don't know if she would die to keep Madoka alive. I don't think so. I think she would keep looking for ways to bring her back, since she can't rewind time anymore. You've died with Sayaka-- by choice, together, in battle. What would Sayaka do if you died to keep her alive, though? She doesn't have your survival instinct. It wouldn't last long, and we would lose both of you. What would you do if she died without you? I'd ask you, if you would, to spend time thinking about that first, before thinking about how you're going to end up trying to kill Homura, and eventually Madoka."
He exhales, holding one hand up, eyes closing. "But that's worst-case, and if a solution can't be found first. Plan for the worst, obviously. But you're still hoping for the best, aren't you? Or you wouldn't have come here with the information."
"So," Kunzite says quietly. "We have a time limit. Either to understand the change affecting Witches," (and how many people would want it repaired? that's another unpleasant fact the Puella have to live with), "or to figure out how to create a workaround." And the brightest researcher they have was overloaded to start off with, and just lost her sounding-board. Problems everywhere. But that's something they all have to live with.
Arcane ecological crises.
Well. Kyubey's always been one of those.
"Look, Mamoru," Kyouko says, sounding slightly annoyed and sitting up straighter on her couch, talking to her friend over Kunzite's head. "I know you're friends with her too, and I ain't here to try and insult her out of a sense of malice, but the question you outta be askin' yourself ain't 'will she die for Madoka' but 'will she kill for Madoka', and I think the answer to that is 'absolutely yes'. Of course I'm hopin' for the best, but I've learned that hope doesn't fill your belly on a cold night with no dinner."
She slumps back onto the couch, sighing and looking at Kunzite again. "I think she would kill for Madoka. Would I kill for Sayaka? ..I really don't know, right now. I hope it doesn't come to that. But unless something changes, it might come to that, and I ain't about to wander into that territory without bein' prepared for it."
She shakes her head slightly. "I don't have any plans to die, and I don't have any plans to kill neither. But my plans and reality don't always mesh, I've learned that the hard way. I worry more about the latter than the former, not cuz I think I'm invincible but because I know that when the chips are on the table, I'll do whatever it takes. Homura is the same. Either we find a way to fix this, or like I said.. it's gonna get ugly."
Mamoru's face is still completely neutral, and his voice is mild. "Of course she would kill for Madoka. That was never in question. Likewise, I think you would kill for Sayaka. I'm looking at the social dynamics beyond what I took as obvious, and what happens after the killing's done and all that's left is the dying. Because if you're thinking 'worst', it honestly just keeps going, and going, and going."
He turns and goes back into the kitchen, because his coffee maker is fast and he really wants some so is willing to gank some before it's completely done. Consequently, his voice raises in proportion to the distance it's meant to carry, no more; the syllables string together a little bit. "The kind of situation where cannibalism drops its taboos. Do you know how much I hate sociology? I really hate sociology. At any rate, I'm better at coming up with potential alternatives than figuring out the mechanics behind a given phenomenon right now.
"We know that, for example, my giving you energy can heal your body, but it can't restore your soul gem. Have you tried seeing what happens if someone who can tries purifying it? I can think of three people with the ability off the top of my head; they get rid of darkness.
"I know both Nephrite and Kunzite have a fair amount of knowledge regarding the energies of witches; possibly there's some way that sort of energy can be re-created under controlled conditions without a Witch producing it. I've seen you guys use grief seeds; they literally draw that darkness out and cloud themselves with it-- and each grief seed has what, three full uses in it before it's full? What do you do with them when they're full? Once they're full, can they be purified?"
Somewhere in there, he comes out with three coffee cups dangling from one hand and the carafe in the other, then methodically pours the stuff as he continues speaking; every single motion is calculated and reserved. His own coffee, he leaves on the table to cool off, then sits on the arm of whatever Kunzite's sitting on.
Kunzite does not actually secure Mamoru on the arm of his chair; but he shifts position, lets one hand fall behind him, trailing down the chair's side. If the ill princeling starts to falter, he can catch him.
Which won't help whatever happens to the coffee, but that's a problem for after skull is not cracked.
"Riventon designed an attack that distills witch energies," he says. "Whether they're generated or channelled, I don't know, but it suggests that some way exists to work with them." Probably a particularly hideous one.
His other hand is occupied by coffee cup, which he holds in complete disregard for its heat, one fingertip tapping silently and rhythmically against it. Marking time. Thinking. One possibility after another, and one by one setting them aside. There are always things that can be tried. The problem is finding ones that can also be borne.
"Worst case scenario, Mamoru," Kyouko says, sounding momentarily bleak, "We all die. The Puella, I mean. Every last one of us. Maybe, personal loss aside, that'd be a good thing. We're a fucked up, broken existence in the first place. Maybe our time is just.. up. The world might be better off if that was true."
She shakes her head again, sighing. "But look, I ain't the type to stop fighting until the very end, you both know that, so I ain't about to roll over and die. But I can't hide from the truth, either." She pause as Mamoru mentions 'purifying' a Grief Seed. If it were theoretically possible, you'd end up with a Soul Gem. She shakes her head. "I.. don't think that would work. It must have been tried. It's too easy."
Then she adds, "When a Greif Seed is used up, we give 'em to Kyubey. He eats 'em." Sort of.
She flashes a scowl at Kunzite. "From what I know of Riventon," Which isn't much, truthfully, "Anything he came up with is probably gonna cause more trouble than it's worth. She reaches for her own coffee after a moment, then hisses as it burns her fingers.
Hopefully Mamoru won't pick up his coffee until he's not quite so precariously perched. And it's cooler. Both. Both is best. Either way, a second after Kunzite shifts, so does he, probably just because the way he was sitting was primed to cut off circulation to one foot or something. Whether that puts him in contact with Kunzite's arm doesn't seem to be a question that bothers him.
"Well. Fuck 'better off' if it involves people I like dying," he says irritably, the first honest emotion leaking through the bleak and deceptively mild blankness. "Best case scenario is we figure out how to actually fix your situation. But also, not the time-sensitive problem--"
He's working at his hands again, over and over. Thorough and methodical. One joint after the next. "And just because you're sure something's been tried before doesn't mean it shouldn't be tried again. Maybe we can learn something from the way it fails. That's half of what experimentation is. Hell, I'm even willing to ask Hannah to share what kind of creepy stuff she found out with all her experiments-- but I actually think you should, since you have a personal stake in that data."
"Not to mention that conditions may have changed. The girls with the colors, for instance." Purification through color, and color is significant to a soul gem -- or it might fail, yes. Or it might seem to succeed, but just mask the symptoms. Potentially dangerous. Potentially more dangerous. Kunzite's frown is aimed aside from both of them, absent, habitual.
"You're right about Riventon, and I wouldn't try to duplicate what he did." Not when just carrying the attack nearly poisoned him. "But it suggests that Kyubey might not be the only one able to manipulate these things, in the long run." Eats the grief seeds. Eats witch seeds carrying Puellas' darkness, carrying -- not simple dark energy; Puella run out of power from using their magic. As if their lack of power were an energy in itself --
He's coming close to matching Kyouko's expression, and he's still not even looking at either of them.
"No, screw Hannah. I won't accept help from her." Kyouko shoots back to Mamoru at once, her expression fierce. "I'd rather die, and I don't care if you can't accept that." She finally manages to pick up her coffee and take a sip, grimacing because it's still really hot. "Anyway, I still don't think it'd be as easy as 'purifying' a Soul Gem.. I don't think it's the same thing." She's still keeping that whole thing of what exactly happens to a Puella whose Soul Gem becomes corrupted close to her chest, though it is beginning to pain her to do so. She isn't lying, just omitting a fact, but it could be an important one.
She shakes her head slightly. "We know that Kyubey isn't the only one who can manipulate Witches. Remember that whole White Flower thing?" She pauses, then adds, "Well, maybe you don't, nii-chan, but Mamoru should. They can be manipulated. But that doesn't do us any good if there aren't any Witches to manipulate. We've always hunted Witches, and there's always been more Witches to hunt. But now suddenly, there isn't. SOmewhere along the line, the chain snapped." Again, she has to think to herself- are no more Puella Witching? And if so.. why not? Or are there simply no more Puella being created? Kyubey could answer that question. But he's never around when you need him.
Both hands come up in defense at the snap. "Hey, I have no idea. Last I knew you were on speaking terms with her. I've been out of politics for a while again." Then Mamoru drops them to his lap, and he shifts uncomfortably again, trying to find a position that his spine will agree with. "I know it's not dark energy," Mamoru agrees. "I just don't know what-all the different brands of purification can or can't purify. Next time you have a full grief seed, though, don't give it to Kyubey? Give it to me or Kunzite or whoever's around..."
Here's the first uncertain glance toward the white-haired Shitennou. But it shouldn't be uncertain. But it is.
Then Mamoru's looking up at Kyouko again, and he chews on his lip. "I remember it. I didn't know what the eventual outcome was other than that some of the Senshi were able to help stop it." He's silent as she finishes up, and seems to be thinking. His face doesn't match Kunzite's, but that's because he gets distressed initially instead of at progressive extrapolations.
Then there's the question he can't avoid asking, as it finally occurs to him. "They suddenly stopped showing up. Okay. Well. I know that this is another 'really obvious' 'been tried before' kind of question, but-- where do Witches come from? I know they're basically made of despair and misery and anger and they generate it as much as they feed off it, and I know that if left to themselves, escaped Familiars can turn into Witches, but what generates the Familiars except for more Witches? Or was there one giant proto-Witch and--"
Okay, now his eyes go really wide and he looks kind of sick. "Wait. No. Wait. Tell me the Witches didn't stop because we managed to kill Walpurgisnacht."
"There's a difference," Kyouko says, with just a hint of a sneer, "Between being civil with your enemies and asking for their help. I'm willing to forget, but I won't forgive, and I'm sorry, asking her for help is out of the question." That is, Kyouko asking her for help. Mamoru can, of course, do whatever he wants without consulting Kyouko.
Then Mamoru asks the obvious question, and Kyouko visibly flinches. She should have expected this, given how the conversation was going- given the subject matter. It had to come to this, and maybe it's better that it did. Kyouko had agreed with Homura and Mami that this information should not be spread around, but circumstances have changed, and knowledge of the origin of Witches may be instrumental to figuring out how to deal with the shortage of them. Some secrets might be worth dying over, but in Kyouko's mind, this isn't one of them.
She hesitates a moment, then glances between Mamoru and Kunzite. "You both need to promise me that what I'm about to tell you gets shared on a need-to-know basis only. I never intended anyone who ain't a Puella to know, but..I guess that's not really practical anymore."
She pauses again, then sets her face. "Witches are fallen Puella. They're what happens when a Puella's Soul Gem turns completely dark. It turns into a Grief Seed, and the Puella turns into a Witch. That's where Witches come from. Then they get consumed by other Puella. It's the circle of life." As if trying to make light of it, but her expression is as serious as ever.
Mamoru's silent after Kyouko's repeated denial along with explanation; she's vehement, so he'll just have to explain his actual logic to her if she ever finds out that he's going to ask Hannah. Or maybe ask Homura what Hannah found out.
Then she flinches and he looks concerned, one hand going to Kunzite's shoulder to steady himself as he leans forward slightly-- and she's asking for their promise, and the prince nods decisively, expression grave.
Then she just outright says it, and Mamoru's face goes ashen.
He doesn't move for a moment; he can hear his hearbeat in his ears over the background screaming of the Earth, for once, and it gives him a strange lightness of mind and a crystal sharp focus. Kunzite can feel the shift in the boy's head as much as he can see and feel his change in posture, ignoring pain as irrelevant, faced with a problem.
"They don't get consumed by other Puellae. Their soul gems turn into grief seeds once the Witches are defeated, don't they? The soul gems go dark and the Puellae turn into Witches, and once defeated, a clear gem is left that takes darkness into itself. And then Kyubey consumes them. And that's presumably what he does with them: makes them into housings for new soul gems, for new girls. Or as good as; maybe they're broken down and only the energy is recycled. But he's absolutely part of the cycle. So stop giving him spent grief seeds, first. Then we'll see what we can do with them. Maybe we can find a way to feed Familiars that won't get anyone killed, until we can work on a better solution."
Mamoru's acceptance of Kyouko's condition goes for both of them. Kyouko knows that. Kunzite echoes the other boy's nod anyhow. He's watching her directly, her expression as she sets herself, her eyes as she's talking --
He is not horrified, not in the same way that Mamoru is. Certainly he's a steady anchor for the hand Mamoru's using to keep his balance. There's anger there, but it's a cold, controlled rage, one that could be kept from surfacing for years or decades if need be.
"I presume that asking which of you he's trying to kill is pointless," he says, and his voice is absolutely even.
Kyouko looks vaugely sick at Mamoru's ashen expression at her revelation- not because of the risks of telling him, but because she knows that, for a person like him, such a revelation causes pain, and she didn't want to cause him pain. But the fact of the matter is sometimes the truth hurts- but it's still the truth.
"I don't know what Kyubey does with the filled Grief Seeds or how he makes new Soul Gems. That's outside of my experience." She says after a moment, shaking her head. "But we can't stop giving them to him. Eventually they'll hatch back into Witches, if they're full and he doesn't take them. Being in one of our (a Puella's) posession slows that process down, but once they're full we can't hold onto them indefinitely. Farming Familiars.. might work for a while, but you need Witches to make Familiars, so with no Witches eventually you run into the same problem."
She glances at Kunzite at his assertion that this is apparently an attempted murder by Kyubey, and frowns. "I don't know that he has anything to do with it... causing it, anyway. He set up this whole twisted cycle because he profits from it. Suddenly causing the whole system to collapse seems like it'd be counter-productive.. certainly not worth it if he only wants to kill one of us." Of course, this is just supposition.
"If he weren't profiting from it, he'd be trying to convince you to do something about it. From what I hear about him, I don't think your tour would've slowed him down." That mechanical, silent tapping on the side of the coffee cup hasn't ceased. "So either there's some group that he wants to be rid of, that's worth setting it up from scratch a second time if necessary, or he thinks he has what he wanted out of the system and doesn't need it anymore."
He doesn't comment on the hatching back into Witches, or why, under the circumstances, Kyouko might think of that as a bad thing. Maybe they're more powerful the second round, enough to make it inefficient. And certainly, Mamoru would think of it as a bad thing in any case, and he's close enough that even in the condition he's in, if he decided to hit Kunzite, he wouldn't miss.
And surely, Endymion's hand is digging into Kunzite's shoulder a little. "From all I've seen of you guys so far, most of you don't last long. You and Homura and Mami, and for different reasons Madoka and Sayaka-- are all special. You're probably interfering with the cycle by surviving as long as you have, the first three of you. Homura certainly was, trying to keep Madoka from--"
He shuts his eyes. Ah.
A breath; he opens them again. "That's not immediately relevant unless counter-leverage can be obtained and applied. But. If you feed him a grief seed-- that's it. She's gone. She's just gone, then. Maybe some of them would rather die than turn into witches in the first place, or witch over and over again, but if there's a shot at bringing someone back from a grief seed--?"
The black-haired boy shakes his head, grip on Kunzite's shoulder loosening. Some of the color is coming back to his face, just the unhealthy paleness instead of the grey horror; it's an improvement, anyway. (He'll deal with the horror later.) "And if Witches you know grew out of familiars could be re-hatched, that'd be a way to at least stay functional for longer, without-- without doing something like that without knowing what the girl would have wanted."
There's something caught at the back of his throat. He has to tilt his head back and look up at the ceiling for a second, eyes closed, swallowing; he exhales again and looks back at Kyouko, face steady but eyes fierce. "Would want. And I won't pretend to know that I know what it's like to be a Witch. I won't pretend to know whether they even know on any level who they were. But-- I-- know something about despair, and not knowing anything but hurt, and about going into it knowingly and willingly. And being unutterably grateful when I got pulled out. So--"
Again he has to pause, and this time his grip on Kunzite is looser still, and when he picks up again his voice is unsteady. "--I can't, I can't right now, I can't figure out the ethics. I can't. But you can let familiar-born grief seeds re-hatch and you're not hurting any of you. Right? For now?"
"Kyubey doesn't talk to me much anymore." Kyouko tells Kunzite, with a faint smirk. "I think he thinks I'm a lost cause. For all I know he is out there talking to Puella, trying to figure out what's going on. But he just as easily might not be.. I really dunno. I just don't want you jumpin' to conclusions. There could be any number of reasons for this- it isn't necessarily Kyubey's doing."
Then she frowns at Mamoru.. and her frown grows a bit deeper the longer he talks, until finally she springs up from her seat and paces away from the other two, towards the balcony. "This.. this is partly why I didn't want to tell you this stuff, Mamoru. Look, no offense, but this is our territory.. my territory, and you don't know how it works, so don't go thinkin' like you know what's best five seconds after you learn about it, alright?"
She doesn't turn back, but instead stares out from the balcony doors at the buildings around them, her posture somewhat rigid, obviously angry, although exactly at whom, or why, is hard to determine. Likely a combination of things. "It's not sustainable. They don't re-hatch quickly enough, and even if they did.." She sucks in a breath. "I won't subject my fallen sisters to that. I've known about this for a while now, but it don't bother me because it means that I'm doin' a service in addition to just surviving. I'm putting fallen Puella out of their misery, protecting people, and feeding myself all at the same time. That's a job worth doing, and I know when I go, I want someone to do the same for me. I'm not going to let them re-hatch over and over just to feed myself. That's fucked up. And there's no way to tell which Witches are from Familiars and which are from Puella anyway, once they're Witches."
She turns back after a moment, frowning, but slightly more in control of herself. "I'm sorry Mamoru, but I just don't think it's that simple. We can stop giving spent Grief Seeds to Kyubey, but that ain't gonna be enough. Look.. we have some time, alright? I have plenty of Grief Seeds stored up, enough to last me and Saya-chan for weeks, at least, and I'm sure Homura does too, and Mami. We ain't got this far by being stupid. We don't need to find the perfect solution right this second."
She sighs, glancing down. "There might be somethin' to what you say about Kyubey wanting to get rid of us, though. Mami, Homura and myself, we've beaten the system in a way that most Puella don't manage, and I think Kyubey has been growing more and more impatient with us this past year. He straight out told me, at one point, that he didn't know what to make of me anymore. Maybe you're right that he just wants to do a hard reset of the entire system and this is his way of doing it."
"--I'm sorry," Mamoru says; it's immediate and real, it tastes of ash on the air and grief. "You're right. I don't. I'm sorry."
She's still talking, and she's gone over there, and she looks back, and she's trying to reassure, and he's forcing his stomach not to turn because it's only sympathy and it's only empathy, it's not his life. And he's silent, and he listens, and he withdraws his hand from Kunzite's shoulder, and he finally reaches to pick up his coffee, and he gets up off the arm of the seat to bring it to the kitchen.
Kunzite's hand settles on Mamoru's arm for a moment, steadying him while he's reaching -- lets go again to let him get up and retreat. He rises as well, though only long enough to take a couple of steps, till the most direct path between himself and Kyouko is clear of furniture. Doesn't close any more of the distance than that.
"Maybe you're right, and it's something else entirely," he says. "Maybe some temporary effect, distorting things." Walpurgisnacht came early. The Silver Crystal -- no, better not to think about that. Not right now. Later.
His eyes glint, hard. "Or maybe he's not afraid enough of you. If this is his doing -- the way you deal with threats, he's making himself more trouble, not less. Sooner or later, you'll find out. We'll help, if we can."
Kyouko sighs at Mamoru's entirely expected reaction to her reaction, and reaches a hand out towards him momentarily as he retreats to the kitchen. "Mamoru, sorry. I know you mean well, s'just.. well.." She falls silent. 'You don't know what you're talking about this time' seems like a rude thing to say, even if she believes it, and she doesn't want to hurt his feelings any more.
Her eyes shift to Kunzite as he rises, and she can't help but smile a little bit at his confidence in her. "Maybe, nii-chan. S'different, with Kyubey though. You can't really.. do anything to him. Not in the normal way." She gives a short laugh. "'Course, if he is messin' with me and Saya-chan, not to mention everyone else, that ain't gonna stop me from making him pay for it.. you're right about that."
"I just.. really don't think we know enough yet. Which means the first step is finding out."
He hears her, but Mamoru can't stop right this second. Into the kitchen he goes, and he doesn't come out for a moment.
When he does, he looks calmer, unruffled. "Don't be sorry," he says, shaking his head. "I do mean well, but I don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm hardly in any condition to do anything about it even if I did. I am sorry; when I'm out of my league I have a tendency to start throwing words around and trying to come up with ideas, not taking the time to even evaluate them for how stupid or senseless they might be, in the hopes that anything might be of some kind of help-- but sometimes, like now," there's a hint of a rueful smile, "it's the opposite of helpful. Just know that as long as I've got access to my own power-- I'll heal any of you up if you get hurt, okay? Even if you get hurt fighting each other. It takes magic from your soul gem to heal yourself, doesn't it? At least let me help you conserve that. Asclepius, too, and Dr. Shelby."
He spreads his hands, and they're only shaking a little. "If you do think of anything else any of us can do, definitely let us know. And if I happen to find anything out, I'll tell you guys. That work okay?"
Mamoru's reappearance saves him in ways he does not and perhaps may never know, in that it means that Kunzite will not tell Kyouko that it's all right, Mamoru's just been spending enough time with Nephrite he's starting to think like an American. (This may also save Kunzite twice over; both Mamoru and Nephrite would probably take vengeance.)
"I have confidence in your ability to find not-normal ways to stab your targets when necessary," Kunzite tells Kyouko instead. "But you're right. FInd the cause, first, then figure out what to do about it. Speculation is one thing. Flailing in the dark is another."
And conserve in the meantime. Mamoru's suggestion about healing wins another silent nod. He's not always there -- but it's not as if Kyouko doesn't have phone numbers that can reach them, if necessary. He'll give her the new one before she goes.
Kyouko's eyes shift back to Mamoru as he re-enters the room, and she offers him a smile, if a slightly strained one. "I know, Mamoru.. don't worry about it, alright? Just promise me you won't start trying things without talking to me first. Believe me, I know a lot about this, more than anybody except maybe Homura. Of course I want you to help in any way you can.. I wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case. But I also dun want you in over your head.. you got enough to worry about." And he might make things worse, somehow, unintentionally. She doesn't say this, but it's always a risk when someone is in unfamiliar waters.
She then looks to Kunzite, and smirks. "Stabbing things is what I do best. But yeah.. we'll try an' figure this out. You guys focus on Fiore for now.. like I said, we got time. But I wanted to make sure you knew what we were dealing with so it doesn't blindside you when it does become urgent. Stop these evil flowers first. Then we can worry about Witches." Although this does mean that the Puella will likely be limited in their ability to help with Fiore if they want to conserve magic.
"Information only," Mamoru says firmly, "and not by digging or talking about this to anyone who doesn't already know, and not even to do anything with it, just to hand it over to you. Don't worry, I won't touch anything."
She didn't actually need to say it: he gets it. "Better I end up making lists of stuff you already know than maybe once in a great while uncovering something you might not, and you not getting that info, right? Besides, it'll keep me out of trouble." His smile's a little thin. "I can't do anything about Fiore anyway, but the last thing I want to do is get in the way. I mean, unless you start eating Dark Energy Pop Tarts, then I will definitely get in the way."
The last is just as firm as the first, and delivered just as emphatically-- and then he looks wry, and apologetic, and affectionate all at once, and it's as he's started unconsciously working his hands again. "Anyway, I'm butting out, I need to go take a nap or let off some steam or something. The coffee's still on and Jadeite got tired of other people's cups in the sink and got a bunch of takeaway cups, so help yourself."
He withdraws into the kitchen once more, presumably to go out the other side, where there is now a door.
Deal with the evil flowers so that there's a planet left to worry about Witches on. Right. Each to their own specialties.
"Speaking of not blindsiding," Kunzite says more quietly in the wake of Mamoru's withdrawal. "I don't think you have too much to do with him, but on the off chance. That boy with the halberd and the ice, calls himself Frost Knight? He took an emotional hit while under the influence of dark energy, and he's probably lost his mind for a while. If he has any grudge against you or your lady, you might want to be forewarned." Someday he'll start using Sayaka's name. Someday. Not today.
Kyouko watches Mamoru go, still feeling a bit guilty about her reaction, even if she's convinced it was a legitimate one. She doesn't say anything else.. she trusts him to do what's right. Though she scowls slightly at his mention of Dark Energy Pop Tarts. Because the thought had crossed her mind, and it annoys her that he was able to see how she thought so well.
When he's gone, she glances at Kunzite. Another slight frown touches her face. "I know him, but only barely. I don't think he holds any particular grudge.." Oh wait, there was the time while she was Apatite that she beat the piss out of him but that was months ago. She shrugs. "I think it's the least of my worries right now, but thanks for the heads-up, nii-chan. I'll be careful." She offers another smile, then turns to head to the door. "I should go, too. I came here first when I got back, but I need to go find Saya-chan." She pulls on her sneakers. "I'll keep you guys informed of anything I find out." And then she's out the door.
"Here." While she's pulling on her sneakers, Kunzite takes the time to thieve pen and paper from someone's abandoned homework, scrawling a number and then handing the folded paper to Kyouko as she exits. "If you need us in a hurry -- that will always reach one of us. Even if Mamoru and I are both somewhere without reception." Buried under the city, in a place that isn't quite real.
He doesn't slow her beyond that. Because if she hasn't seen Sayaka yet -- he'd better not slow her.