Katsudon and the Travails of Forgiveness

So when Kyouko comes in the door after work, there's an astonishingly delightful scent filling the apartment and the specific poppling sound of deep-frying coming from her kitchen. There's no barking greeting when she opens the door, either, which means Momo and Dog aren't home, but the absurdly fashionable and stupidly expensive shoes by the door give a really good indication of who it actually is.

Kyouko's finely-honed olfactory sense can definitely identify tonkatsu-- and the sauce for katsudon-- cooking up, and the lingering sweetness of fried dough from before that, cooked first.

    Kyouko's key rattles in the lock, and then the door opens and she comes in. Her usual work uniform is in evidence- a dark t-shirt and jeans (the bright orange apron is luckily stored at the conbenie) and she hangs her coat up as she sniffs at the air. "Ooh, that smells good. Is that you, Naru?" She calls, at first making the obvious leap of logic before she turns and notices the shoes.. blinking a few times.

    Curiosity now overcoming her (which is a nice change from Dog) she pads down the hall on socked feet and peers around the corner into the kitchen. "Mamoru? What're you doing here?" She doesn't sound in the least bit offended or upset, of course, but rather mildly surprised, since this is not the most ordinary of occuranaces. She walks into the kitchen, still sniffing. "Damn, that smells good."

Because he's a dork, the owner of the voice from the kitchen -- and the shoes by the door -- does a terrible falsetto impression of Naru. "~Yes I am your girlfriend the redheaded artist extraordinaire~! I like making dangerous choices if they are philosophically interesting and I think I have a lot less power than I really do~~!!" And then in his regular voice, "Don't smack me I'm doing stuff with boiling oil and I really don't want to spatter it--"

He's got a plain canvas apron on over a somewhat-the-worse-for-wear long-sleeved shirt, and brand new leather-padded gardening gloves rather than oven mitts, and there's a plate of funnel cake cooling next to the stovetop on a plate, and raw pork and a bowl of scrambly raw eggs and a bowl of seasoned breadcrumb dust on the other side of the stove, and a simmering pan full of katsudon sauce on the range to the side of the deep-dish boiling pan, and rice in the rice cooker. His hair's messy, and his eyes are twinkling at her over his shoulder before he puts his attention back on the delicate operations in front of him.

"I'm making you dessert and dinner, in that order. Just save some of the funnel cake for Momo or she'll never forgive either of us. I put the sugar shaker next to it, because otherwise it kind of melts into the grease before you can really enjoy it..." A beat. "Uh, I hope you like katsudon." Another beat. "I felt bad when I realized you really hadn't come back up even after Unmei apologized, and I realized-- that even though *I* know she meant it, *you* have no way of knowing, which means the frat house still isn't safe space for you, and it's *supposed* to be, and I just-- wanted to fill you in? On what her deal is. Or at least what of it I can actually tell you outside doctor/patient confidentiality. So that maybe you can feel safer coming back up. But even if you don't that's okay, and since she has more minders she trusts now, I can at least come down more often. And I was hungry so I figured you'd be too."

He tongs another two finished fried pork cutlets out of the oil, then eggs-and-crumbs-and-eggs-and-crumbs-and-eggs-and-crumbs another pair and carefully puts them in, and there's another round of POP POP POPPLE SNOP sounds as they start frying.

    Kyouko snorts in amusement at the Naru impression, which is actually accurate enough (in content, if not tone) to be a little too funny. She leans on the fridge, a wry look on her face. "Why Naru, you've gotten a lot taller since I went to work this morning. Not to mention your bo- Ooh, funnel cake." Whatever no-doubt horribly inappropriate thing she was about to say is forever lost to the ether as she pads over, eyes shining, to regard the treat.. then turns that gaze on Mamoru. "I can have dessert first?" Like a kid asking a parent.

    She grins her lopsided, one-fanged grin as she picks up the sugar shaker, and dusts it over the cake, then rips off a little piece. Instead of eating it herself, though, she holds it out to Mamoru, so he can take it in his mouth if he is so inclined, without interrupting his cooking. Whether he does or does not, soon enough there is a piece of funnel cake in Kyouko's mouth and she is chewing happily.

    She doesn't even get a chance to ask what the hell this is about before he's already explaining. She gets a bit of a side-eye look as he talks about how she hasn't been back upstairs even after Unmei apologized.. shifting on her feet on the kitchen tile. "Look, Mamoru," She says, after a moment, "S'not.. I mean.."

    She takes a breath. "It's not that I didn't think she meant it, or whatever. It's just.. I don't like her much, and I made this big declaration that I wasn't going to come upstairs if she was there, and then she ended up staying like, forever, but I didn't want to go back on my big declaration because then I'd look like an idiot and you know how I hate that."

    Another piece of funnel cake goes into her mouth, and she keeps talking with her mouth full (luckily its a small piece). "And I know it's dumb, it's my dumb stupid pride and stuff, so there's really no need for you to.. I mean, you didn't have to do this, I brought it on myself."

    She glances sideways at him, as she swallows. "But thanks. For taking the time. It means a lot. I hadn't.. really realized how much I'd miss being around you guys all the time until I suddenly wasn't for a week. If not for Naru I'dve gone crazy long since but.. well, she's amazing but it's not really the same, either."

Mamoru absolutely does take the offered bite, even though he'd been sampling that as he'd been making it, because funnel cake, how do you NOT.

It's quick chewing and swallowing though, because then he's explaining and she's listening and eating and looking more uncomfortable, which makes him talk faster, and-- and she still comes away with kind of the wrong impression, really, sort of. He leans over while stirring the sauce in order to lightly bonk his head against the top of her forehead. "Dummy," he says affectionately.

"We all sometimes make huge declarations we regret, and I know you don't like her. You might end up actually liking the her that's more like her actual self, but she's still working on that-- and you might not, and that's okay too. Either way, she's easier to be around without getting mad, now, because she's not picking at people anymore, and I don't know if your pride will let you come back even if I beg, but I'm trying bribing first because begging rags on my pride too, and I miss you, and it's probably going to be another week-- maybe a week and a half-- before we get her settled with new fake papers and a couple of actual doctors and someplace to live..."

He sighs, then flips the tonkatsu over in the deep boiler carefully. "I'm hoping to talk to her girlfriend so we can get her a place near her, but also not so far that it's a pain in the ass for Kunzite or Zoisite or me to look in on her once a week once she's a bit closer to less of a hot mess."

There's a faint grimace. "Zoi thinks we're her security blanket right now. And given what kind of shit is after her, and given the kind of abuse she came from before she made a deal with Eclipse to get out of it, security and the idea that she's not just going to get thrown out are things she needs right now."

He removes the sauce from the burner, finally, then gestures over to the rice cooker while getting out a place to cut the deep-fried cutlets into slices on, and he starts cutting up one of the somewhat-cooled cutlets. "If you want to fill a couple bowls with rice, I've got the first two cutlets ready to go and can work on the rest after we eat -- er, after this set stops frying." He's cutting, he's biting his lip, he's cutting. "Her parents were really abusive. And literally no one's ever given her any support except her girlfriend, and -- I think that might be okay since she's dark-energy detoxed and is getting help, but -- right now she needs taking care of, and she doesn't really understand we're not equipped to give her the level of care she needs. Which is why we're working really hard on looking for how to get that for her. What she needs most-- aside from treatment for medical stuff and counseling-- is friends. So we're trying to be that for her. And since so many of us--"

He slides the sliced cutlet over Kyouko's rice bowl and then liberally douses it in sauce.

"--have had similar problems, it's kind of almost like she's looking at Kunzite like 'dad' and me like 'mom' or something, which is weird, but hopefully she'll get over it and be like 'okay these guys are awesome friends and they let me build a new life' but... not... cling so much."

Mamoru closes his eyes for a second. "And you KNOW how I am about personal space."

    Kyouko makes a soft 'ouch' sound when Mamoru bonks his head against hers, even though, of course, it didn't actually hurt. By this point there isn't much left of the funnel cake, but that works out because it was supposed to be 'dessert and then dinner' so if the dinner is ready, the time for dessert is passed. Even while Mamoru is still talking, Kyouko nods and moves to grab the bowls from a cupboard and start putting rice into them from the cooker, before setting them on the counter in order to be porked.

    She listens the whole time, of course, her expression mildly pensive. "Yeah.. I know." She finally says, with a faint sigh. "Well.. I mean, I knew some of that already. I talked to Kunzite.. or rather, he talked to me about it already. Not quite as in-depth, but I think he wasn't sure what he could or couldn't say too." She doesn't sound at all offended by the secrecy- she gets the whole 'don't tell others' secrets' thing, at least if they aren't life-threatening ones.

    "And you're right. Like.. I totally get it. Her story sounds almost too much like mine.. like a lot of ours." She says this as she takes the bowl with the cutlet and sauce, carrying it over to the low Japanese-style table they have in the living area. "It's just, I couldn't deal with her attitude, y'know? Like, on the surface, yeah, it's pretty similar. Shitty parents, bargains with bad dudes, choices we regret. But the whole ' wah wah, solve my problems for me' thing.. like.."

    She pauses, realizing she must be coming off as insensitive, looking pained for a moment. "I ain't trying to say my way was better, y'understand? It was probably worse. I tried to solve everything myself and ended up in even deeper shit because of it. For years. It's just it grates on me. I find it hard to deal with. All the crying and stuff." She gives a faintly uncomfortable shrug.

    She takes a bite of the cutlet. "Damn. This is good. You been takin' lessons from Mako-chan?" She grins a bit, then goes on. "But, if you say she's better, maybe I'll give it another shot. Cuz y'know, I miss you guys too. And I miss the bustle and just being around people I like all the time and I think Naru misses it too and she's been down here and not up there a lot more too, and I think it's just cuz I've been down here so for her sake too.. I mean, my sake is enough but that's just another reason, so.."

    Chew chew chew, swallow. "What you're doing for Unmei is really good, Mamoru." This quietly, sincerely. "I never once thought you should do any different."

It's another cutlet sliced and dumped over his own rice, then sauced, and then the last two currently sizzle-popping cutlets taken out of the fryer -- and the lid carefully put back on the fryer but the heat not turned off, because there are a few more left to fry up -- before Mamoru takes the gloves off and rolls up his sleeves, dropping himself down into the seat opposite Kyouko. It takes him a monumental effort not to say 'itadakimasu' before taking a bite, then just chewing while listening to Kyou.

There are a couple of points in what she's saying where he almost laughs, and the expression's there on his face before he ducks his head to hide it and clearly listen-while-fooding, but by the end he looks wry and affectionate and apologetic. "I just didn't think it would get as involved as it did, or be as complicated, or take so long, or end up with you staying away for so long. And it's the last part that I regret. She's a really good and sweet person underneath all the fuckery-- I just, you know I've got an advantage there."

He waves a fork of katsudon around for a second, though, squinting a little at Kyouko. "I actually remember you being about fifteen levels above necessary in the 'complete dick' department when we first met, too, you know. On the attitude front." And then he laughs a little, looking uncomfortable and a little unhappy and a little rueful. "And her problems are-- she tried to solve them herself, and got hurt worse for it, too. And the deal she got-- again, it was something that looked like a decision she could make and consequences she could deal with, and got in over her head. She has problems she can't solve herself. Asking for help is a really, really, really hard thing to do. It's the fact that she's following up on her side of the tasks that gives me hope that she'll eventually be able to trust herself not to fuck up anymore."

He coughs, then. "But there is no way she's moving in. We just... haven't gone into detail yet on that with her because she's still in 'recovering trainwreck' stage and just had her train car thrown at a helicopter in flight, so ... if she goes around saying she lives there, or whatever, don't believe it. If it's her that says it, humor her for now, but donnn't believe it. She just-- you know about my problems with touch, with people rejecting me after they found out I'm not normal, so me hiding it for so long-- she has that going on too. So not being rejected, right now, is a big thing."

Another bite, this time analytical, and he scratches his chin. "No, I mean it's good, but it's not Mako-good. I just followed the recipe exactly. I cooked for myself a long time before all this happened, I'm not exactly a slouch... it's just that most of the time Kunzite wants to cook, or Mako wants to, or-- I'm not telling them no, haha."

One more bite, and his stomach's still kind of roiling, so he's going to let his katsudon get cold while he gets up again and puts gloves on again and fries up the last of the cutlets. "Anyway it'd be cool if you gave her another shot, and it would be awesome if you came back up -- she's mostly been around Kunzite and Zoisite's place since it's not heavily trafficked, so you can even come back up and mostly avoid her, but if it's too much then that's okay too, and we'll just come down here more often until she's sorted out enough that we can get her her own place."

    "Yes, thank you, I do so love to bring up my 'complete dick' phase." Kyouko responds sarcastically, but with good-humor. "And y'know.. just in case I've never said it, and so much shit has gone on in both our lives I'm not sure I ever have.. sorry. For being such a complete dick to you back then. I mean.." She gestures at herself, then him, "Obviously you forgive me." A wink. "But even so.. sorry."

    She takes a few more bites of the fried cutlet and rice while she listens to Mamoru.. and heaves a small sigh. "I know asking for help is hard to do. I know it better'n most, as you also probably remember. S'just that damn stupid pride of mine again, y'know? But at least I'm getting better at recognizing when it's my pride and not my brain telling me what I should be doing.. not that that always helps."

    "But when you say it like that, I feel like kinda a dick now. I mean, the things she did to me were legit asshole, but none of them actually hurt me any. I should probably be more willing to forgive people if they try to make it good."

    By the time Mamoru gets up to go back to the kitchen, her bowl is almost empty already. "Thanks for mentioning the whole 'she doesn't live there' thing." She adds. "If I'd have heard it from her without warning I might have said something unfortunate. But now that you warned me it's fine. I'll come back up." She sighs, a wistful sound more than anything else. "I'll try anyway. I really do love you guys, the whole lot of you. I don't like not seeing you every day."

    She smirks and taps the side of her head. "Even if I can feel you up there, these days."

"Don't feel like you're being a dick-- really! And of course I forgive you for back then -- I mean, I knew you were worth it. And you've been more than. You're my sister, you're one of my Shitennou-- and they did hella worse things to me while THEY were full of dark energy than YOU did, too. Besides, it's totally my job to befriend and reform total jerkwads." Maybe Mamoru sounds a little flippant, but there's enough truth in all of that that it's clear -- especially from the way he feels 'up there' -- that it's only flippant so that he doesn't have to feel like sometimes he's drowning he worries about so many people. If when it's better he can joke about it--

Well. It makes life easier.

But then the last two cutlets are done, and there's plenty more sauce and rice, and he glances back. "Do you want a fresh bowl or to finish mine before it's ice cold and I'll just make myself half of one? Because I think I ate too much funnel cake before you even got home."

There's the smallest smile then. "And it's definitely the 'try and make good' thing. There are a lot of people I'd never in a million years ask you to forgive-- same's there're people I'd never ask Mako to forgive, either. But Unmei-- she really is trying so hard. And every step she takes forward, life tries to set her back two more-- but she's still trying. She's a good person, she's just-- hah. She's a lot girlier and nicer when you peel off the dark energy she was fucked up with than, uh. Most of the people we know? Even the Senshi... so she also might be kind of hard to get along with on that front."

The last two get taken out of the fryer and Mamoru turns off the oil, then starts transferring dirty but not BOILING HOT things to the sink to wash them in a few. There's a glance over his shoulder, bright bright bright, and the prince is trying so hard not to let his face break with the size of the grin he wants to be making. "You can? I'm starting to be able to tell without having to really search for you, too. I'm-- I'm so happy it's-- that you can--" He has to turn away really fast then, and starts doing dishes before even going back to his katsudon, which means it's alllll Kyouko's. And he can't actually finish the sentence.

She might hear a sniff. But maybe not, the water's running.

    "I dunno," Kyouko says, her tone dry, "I made you drink stolen vending-machine beer. From a can, it wasn't even like the faux-craft beer. I'm not sure you can get more evil than that." She laughs softly, shaking her head.. and no need to worry, as soon as the offer is out of his mouth she's sliding the other barely-touched bowl over and starting to munch on the cutlet there. "I'll finish this one, no worries."

    "Yeah.. no, I know." She says, between bites. "There's people that deserve forgiving, there's people that I should forgive and I just can't, and then there's people who don't deserve forgiving at all. I haven't quite sorted Unmei into one of those categories yet, but it'll probably be one of the first two." She sighs. "Hopefully that first one. I'll give it a shot anyway, like I said."

    Then she grins a little bit. "Well.. you do know me pretty well, don't you." She laughs. "Usagi is about as girly as I can deal with, and even she's got the heart of a tiger under all the cartoon-heart-doodles. But, y'know.. there's worse things to be than girly and nice. A total asshole, for one, so if she falls short of that it'll probably be okay.

    She glances over just in time to get a glimpse of that huge grin, and then it's making her grin and she has to look away before she starts blushing. "I really noticed it when we were in that maze, y'know, Chasing Ami? I could feel where you were.. well, not really where, it was an alternate dimension and also a maze, but like.. I could feel that you were still out there, and the general direction sort of. That was the first time I really noticed it consciously."

    And then she's getting up, and walking into the kitchen, and she hugs him from behind while he's doing dishes and rests her cheek on his back. "It makes me really happy, too. It's nice to know I'm never alone."

And Mamoru-- conscientious as he is-- turns the water off long enough to wipe his hand off on his apron, then hug her arm, since it's the closest he can get to. He laughs, and it's really soft and happy and he probably has a stupid look on his face so he's glad she's not making him turn around--

--but his bare hand on her arm tells her everything else she could possibly want to know about how he feels about her, and about that, and about them all together as family, and how he has no idea what to do with the size of the relieved joy that she can feel that, and she does take it that way, and that it's-- it's all so good.

He can't answer in words, but that's definitely a sniff this time and he coughs a laugh and scrubs at his face before turning the water back on and saying gruffly, "Go eat more food if you want any more before Momo and Dog devour the rest."

    "Yes, boss." Kyouko says, with just the right amount of affectionate sarcasm, giving Mamoru one more squeeze before pulling away and padding back out towards the living room, where she will sit and devour as much of that food as she can, because it is really good, no matter what he says.

    And she's smiling the whole time, because she just feels a whole lot better about a whole lot of stuff.