No One Expects This

Lacrima and Kazuo talk about the down sides of magic. And the up sides of donuts.

Date: 2017-06-20
Pose Count: 14
Lacrima 2017-06-20 03:20:19 79104
Norie Okana has been putzzing around here or there. Sometimes present, sometimes not. She's been a little worried about various things and this whole Hannah mess has her on edge. She won't admit it, but she's actually worried about Kunzite. The amount of people that 'knows what it's like to be something like her' can be counted on two fingers and Kunzite is on one of those fingers. The other is Kukai- who was body swapped at one time with herself.

She's stepped back into the normal reality from a donut shop with about six boxes of donuts. Three are labeled with a cursive 'L'. The others are not. She places the unlabeled boxes on the coffee table, she takes the other three boxes and sits next to them on the couch and proceeds to just consume donuts for a bit. She seems to be staring ahead. Deadpan.

Then there's the uncharacteristic sigh and flump that comes with misery. The despair is showing. That just means she isn't dealing with it well.

It's really just the combination of the past month.

At some point, she's also dropped the Norie disguise. She has the long purple hair and purple eyes and pale complexion that the vampire is known for at the moment- though she's in her normal casual clothes, too. It's a bad idea to waste energy keeping a disguise up when it isn't needed when going through an energy draining emotional crisis.
Koji Silvia 2017-06-20 03:27:21 79105
There's been an equal amount of puttering by another guest here... one in the form of Koji Silvia. But he's not the type it seem to be the type who does things like play video games competitively. Instead, Koji's been cataloguing the kitchen, and then trying to come up with a set-up for dinner from it. He's a diligent sort. Writing down ingredients, checking them against some recipies from books available here.

But even that's been a sort of busy work that's made him eventually go back to the position he's found in after you bring in the donuts: Sitting on the couch and staring at his turned-off phone.

To which, after almost five minutes of shared silence, he breaks it by saying, "I'm sorry for being so short with you this morning. It's just... when you grabbed Tyrfing from me... I panicked a little."

By that he means the broken pair of glasses hanging from his Yamato T-shirt, the replacement normal ones on his eyes now non-withstanding.
Lacrima 2017-06-20 03:43:30 79107
Norie Okana head tilts. "The glasses are your device?" she asks. "I didn't know that. I was checking to see if I could fix your glasses, I could had fused the metal together at the joint but the glass... no. If they were normal glasses. That is." she says glumly.

"It's fine. I'm used to people being short with me." she says a little frankly.

"is your device going to be okay?" she asks.

"Sorry. The only person I know who can fix a device would probably be too enthralled with what yours is and... dunno if you'd get it back." she says bluntly.
Koji Silvia 2017-06-20 03:48:46 79108
Hunching his shoulders a bit, Koji looks over at you for a moment, and then gives a little smile before nodding, "Well, thank you for the thought." Then he gulps once before taking a breath, "But we don't work like that. Not really. This is just his means of interacting with me. It's more than that." He moves to get up, and then walks over closer to where you are.

Sitting down on the floor across from where you've settled yourself, he takes off the glasses and puts them close by where you can see them, "We're a part of each other. It's not supposed to be that. The Device and the Mage are bonded, but separate. In our case... we're constantly connected. Or we were. We could speak to each other in our minds... he knows japanese, but goes back to his home tongue when he has to use more energy to do other things. And I can only understand what he says then because I know what he means. If that makes sense."

There's a sigh from him, and then another nod, "So if you took me to this person, they'd probably keep me too. Kind of like how Tyrfing was afraid that the TCAB would confiscate and decommission him because he couldn't stop his previous Lord from dying."
Lacrima 2017-06-20 03:56:08 79110
Norie Okana scowls. "That's Belkan. It's like a really old dialect of 'German'." she says. "I can speak it pretty clear." she says. "An old Dialect of German that is." she says "So if you need a translator, I can do that." she says silently.

"Oh. Not probably". He would. Riventon-sama is like that. But I share his belief that if someone wants something of you, and they're strong enough to keep you contained. Then...." she just shakes her head.

"Which is why I'm saying no in the first place." she says even more sourly.

"Koji." she says softly.

"What did you have a nightmare about when The Prince sunk us all into them?" she asks softly.
Koji Silvia 2017-06-20 04:08:34 79114
He sits there for a long moment, and then pushes off the floor, and moves over to sit on the couch next to you, "I woke up, and all I could hear is the alarm. Just the incessant beeping. I was going through my normal daily routine, and then I went to school... and nothing. Not just no one. No one on the screens, no faces in advertisements, no pets, no birds, no nothing. Just me... completely by myself, in a world where it's like everything else just left me behind. And I couldn't hear anything but the sound of my alarm in my ears. Not even my own voice."

By the time he's done talking about it, however brief it is, his eyes look haunted, and he gulps once before saying with a mild shiver in his tone, "Like I am now that Tyrfing is asleep. I'm alone in my own mind. I used to know what that's like, but I couldn't picture my life without him there... and now... he's not. He's there, but he isn't. It's like..."

It's almost a whisper, "It's like something cut off my arm. I know it's there, I can see it in front of me, but I can't feel it anymore. Except I can. Does that make sense?"
Lacrima 2017-06-20 04:22:28 79118
Norie Okana nods. "It does. It's how I feel about the positive emotions I don't have anymore." she says. "I know. When I should feel them. If I have a baseline. For the situation. and I remember how they do feel. But I can't feel them. All it does is just add context to a situation to me." she says. "It's there. I just can't. Do anything with it." she says silently.

"My nightmare..."

"I was in. His throne." she says. "But. It was. My throne." she says. "... and it's like. I was him. But me." she says. she gently fidgets a bit at this like it's uncomfortable for her. "Ah. You have. No idea what I'm talking about."

"This power. Belonged to a powerful vampire named. Poderoso. The power names us. It named him. Podoerso. 'Powerful'." she says. "He wanted the power. And the power named him so. And he was not a nice being. He was cruel. and vindictive. But strong." she says.

"When I picked the necklace that contained this power. It infected me. And it name me. La Crima. Or. Lacrima. 'The Tears'." she says.

"Because I did not want the power. And it knew it would make me sad and miserable." she says softly.

"And the person I was became just a disguise I wear." she says.

"But. I don't. Want to be like him. I don't want. To be that person. But..."

"It is in my nature. As what I am. To have shades of that person."

"And I hate it. I hate it so much."

"Things are better. But. Not really. The only change from two years ago is that I have some control. And it does help. But nothings changed."

"I still need to. Attack people. To feed. I still can't be Norie forever. I still don't have any of my positive emotions. And when I come close to. Actually feeling them. It stings. And it hurts. Because what I am is basically allergic to it." she says a little glumly.
Koji Silvia 2017-06-20 04:33:19 79120
It's a lot to take in, especially given what's being said. As he listens, Koji brings his knees up to his chin, wrapping his arms around his shins, and even wriggling his toes. The young man tilts his head back and forth, rolling the tip of his chin on a kneecap before closing his eyes.

When he opens them again, he says softly, "I'm not going to pretend to understand everything. I'm also not going to say I can help, or tell you everything's going to be allright. Nothing's allright about this."

Sounding almost dour, he looks up, and he smiles just a little bit, "What you are is what you are is today. What you are today isn't what you thought you could be two years ago, am I right?"

Then he looks back forwards, "I didn't think two years ago I'd be a Mage... that I'd have an alien friend who only I could hear, and who helped me do impossible things. Two years ago, I couldn't fathom sitting here having a conversation with you."

To which he amends just a bit, "Not your being a... whatever you are. I mean that... I was just another face in the background. You wouldn't have given me a second look."
Lacrima 2017-06-20 04:49:46 79124
Koji scoffs. "No, I'd had given you a second look, only I'd be imagining you as a meal and the best way to lure you into an alley or tail you until I could reasonably get you alone. Sometimes. With coaxing of the hypnotic variety." she says with a sigh.

"I try to keep. Rules about who I drain now. Teenagers. And Adults." she says.

"Wanna know how I met Mamoru-kun?" she asks.

"He was some idiot not paying attention to his surroundings playing Pokemon Go alone in the middle of a sidewalk at night. I slide up behind him and start draining and..."

"Mamoru is made up of pretty much everything I want back." she says quietly. "I didn't stop when I should had or would had usually. I just. Kept going. Then his friends. And his girlfriend. Show up."

"His girlfriend could probably just kill me with a wave of her hand. She actually tingles to be around just because of who she is." she says sourly. "Stupid. Magic Moon Princess or whatever. Basically purification energy incarnate."

"No one expects this. Seriously. I bought a god damn necklace and it did this to me." she says in regards to 'not thinking two years ago he'd be a mage'.

"Ari-chan." she says silently.

"She was one of the first not to judge me. She met me. In an alleyway. After I'd.. well. Fed. With people around me." she says.

"I thought she was there to give me the same god damn speech I'd heard ten thousand times in various flavors. That didn't happen. I mean. She asked. Why I did what I did just then. I told her why. She just..."

"Accepted it. She didn't like it. But. She understood. That made me feel really weird. Because up until that point. Everyone would give me a speech. Then like. Launch electric soccer balls at my head or something."

"I remember being hit with a big purification for the first time." she says silently. "It felt like. I might get my humanity back. Then just You get blasted with this sinking despair that you'll never be human. And then. Then it just starts ripping your soul and being apart." she says. "I need to spend days in the Dusk Zone rebuilding myself. Putting the pieces back. When I come back to reality. I'm always out of whack for a day."

"On one such day I hit on everyone in home room. Dealing with the day after was torture. Another, I came back craving incredibly awful foods like.... Mashed Potato Sandwiches on Oat Bread Frosted in Mayonnaise. That kind of stuff." she says.

"Sorry. Just. I'm kind of reaching my limit."

"And Ari-chan said I should just talk and talk and talk when I feel like this, even if it's to myself." she says. "Because if I start bottling this in. It actually starts taking physical characteristics, like making the area black and foggy and starting to impose that feeling on people unwillingly. You should had seen me the day after I turned a friend into something like I was because he was going to die. A friend said I was literarily turning fluid and racing along the corners of the room in a black miasma puddle. I don't even remember that."

"....ugh. Sorry again."

"Um.. Donuts. Donut. Have a donut." she says quietly.

"Will your friend repair himself....?" she asks silently. "You may want to talk to Mercury-chan about repairs if not. I dunno what her skill level is with devices."
Koji Silvia 2017-06-20 05:13:43 79127
"Since you told me so much, I..." Koji pauses, and then he seems almost embarrassed, "Tyrfing likes to bake, likes making sweets. It's his hobby since we can't do much on our own. I just let him take over our body and relax back. It's like napping and watching television at the same time. But, I shouldn't each them much. It's why I learned to cook, so I could keep myself from getting overweight again. My parents actually moved me to Seiyou for middle school so I could get a fresh start."

That little confession said, he takes the glasses off his chest and looks at them, "He was built to fight, so it was sort of assumed if he got damaged, his Lord would bring him back to be repaired. There's things he can't do, not like the rest... and I can barely do a spell on my own. Tyrfing takes and amplifies my power through his Core, so that I can do the things we do."

With a sigh, he stretches his legs out, and then looks you back over, "I don't mind listening, at all. I don't understand some of it, but I'll listen. Anytime you need and no one else can. And this Ari-chan sounds like a good person. The only thing I can say about this is you seem to be on the right track. You might not be able to be good, but you can still do good. You know about right and wrong, right? And you do right when you can."

Afterwards, he shrugs, "Maybe I'm just sounding like an idiot, but it sounds like you're doing about as good as anyone else. Chiba-san might have all that power, all that light in his heart... but look at how miserable he seems to be sometimes. And Mister Kazuo? Miss Kyouko? All of them seem like... their powers bring them just as much heartache as they do any joy."
Lacrima 2017-06-20 05:29:59 79128
Norie Okana blinks. "Ari-chan. Ariel." she says softly. "The unicorn girl." she says. She shifts a bit uncomfortably, like it's her fault for not making that clear. "Kunzite spent a good deal of time in a body similar to mine. The fact he's as well off as he is a testament to the friends he has." she says silently.

"One of the reasons Mercury-san says the same ways that gave him a body back won't make one for me because I don't have as many people willing to risk a lot of the time and effort and danger." she says. "I mean. Theres other reasons it won't work. But that's one of the sticking points that hurt me a lot when I think about it." she says.

"Baking is a good hobby. I used to dance." she says. "But... I ruined that. When I became this thing. Nowadays I work for Riventon-sama collecting data and helping him in the field." she says. "Riventon was another one who I met early on. He understood what I was. Realized I was running hot all the time. Built a device to stop myself from basically being a leaky faucet." she says softly.

"I owe all the ability to control my power to him right now." she says.
Koji Silvia 2017-06-20 05:46:27 79131
He seems to consider it all, and then closes his eyes a moment as he takes another breath. Pushing up to standing, he walks a couple steps away, and then back to you, "The you I've met... in the dreams? The you I keep seeing... I see you strong, and I see you independent. I see you tough. But in a good way."

Walking back over to you, and then past you he goes to where the donuts are, and takes up one. Coming back, he breaks it in half, and holds out one half to you, "Right now I have to have help from Tyrfing to control magic. Maybe one day I won't. But for now, I know that's a weakness if I want to help others. I'm dependent on him. But... that's only because I want to continue to help people. Because I can't turn my back on this. Even though it frightens me so much I want to just curl up and hide... doing that doesn't change what I've seen. It doesn't change what's happening."

He continues to offer the half, keeping the other half close to him, "Thank you. For talking to me. For telling me this. I think it's kind of like Hannah. Even if we had to fight each other... we'd still be friends." Though he adds a little ruefully, "You're a good person, even if what you are doesn't let you feel it. And if Ariel can see that, and if I can see it? The rest will too. Maybe not right away, but eventually."
Lacrima 2017-06-20 05:52:58 79132
Norie Okana frowns. "You haven't seen the me that helps Riventon-sama. Or follows a girl home so I can drain her so I can have a few more days where I'm sane." she says. "You will someday. And we'll have to fight. and I won't throw a fight." she says quietly.

"Yeah..." is all she can say. She's already done one box of donuts by herself.

"You should rest more. I'm gonna need to go. Huddle in a closet soon. To rest." she says.

She fidgets a bit.

"I only help people because things personally bother me." she says quietly.
Koji Silvia 2017-06-20 05:54:39 79133
"Then just remember..." Koji says after chewing on his half of the donut, "Win or lose, I made a promise. I'll still be your friend."