Sorrow and Duskfruit Smoothies

Lacrima goes to Takashi for the BEST advice. Also there is Duskfruit Smoothies in the fridge and curried promises are made!

Date: 2017-07-10
Pose Count: 22
Lacrima 2017-07-10 01:23:53 80254
Lacrima had been spending WAY moe time in the lab than usual. For someone who is a horrible dark energy construct she's probably one of the more sociable with the coworkers that might be. So the fact she hasn't even used the door for the past two weeks and opted to dusk step in whenever possible is probably a bad sign.

She'd been working in the lab space she claimed. It had three science containment tubes- one filled with Mister Squiggles- a mass of black smoke and tentacles, a giant eye pressed against the tube and looking about. Sometimes it blinked!

She was sitting at a workbench as she stood back from an experiment and then the crystal she was working on glowed a dull green...... before suddenly picking up in intensity and exploding outward. She grew more dour-- then she threw tablet computer she was holding against the door hard enough to rattled where it shattered into a few dozen pieces.

"DAMMIT!" she yelled out. "I can't even /THINK STRAIGHT/." anymore. She muttered.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 01:54:27 80259
Norie isn't the only soul in search of answers right now, but the answers Takashi seeks seem to have been found more outside the lab than usual, leading the two of them to be in opposite places lately. But today, Takashi was back in the labs he ran - to do paperwork for Eclipse, actually - just in time to hear Norie yelling out.

Takashi comes up and pokes his head, sideways, through the door to the laboratory that Norie had claimed for herself.

"You know, I'd scold you about breaking property but... I don't think it would do you any good. So instead, do you want to talk to me about what's eating you?"
Lacrima 2017-07-10 02:02:23 80263
Lacrima had found herself on her butt against the wall and rather just trying to ball up and fall to the ground as she sighs, when Takashi comes in. She blinks and then just kind of blushes fircely. "S..sorry. I'll pay. for it. Replace it. Whatever..... whatever." she muttered.

She pushed herself back up and brushed that long hair out of her way. "I'm just. Upset." she says softly. "I feel at a loss."

"I... a friend.. and I.. confronted my .. brother about... what I am. Because. He remembers. But. He doesn't. And it was strange--and it did was. Ruin everything. Because he rejected me." she says.

"But. That's not what's bothering me. Really." she says. "If it was just that. I could deal with it. Find a way..." she says lightly.

'Just. This strange. Dream. Samurai blind girl. Felt I was in pain and.. red my.... she called it a cord of fate? THe... cords..or.. stuff that bind. People together." she says.

"Like. Destiny...or something..."

"She said that. The cords to my family were so weak and the one to my brother was about severed that... it would be pointless. To try... to keep. That. and's..So... /so easy/ to find a new family." she mutters a little, like ice.

"I hate it. I feel like I do like I did a year ago. Back at square one.... with everyone telling me everything is so easy and okay and it's so easy because it's /just easy/." she mutters under her breath.

"I can't even think very straight." she mutters.

"S-sorry. About the Tablet. Riven-sama." she mutters.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 02:20:34 80268
Takashi waves his hand off. "Really, it's okay. There's like ten more of those in the closet, you can help yourself to one later." he says as he walks over to Lacrima. "Look. I don't know who you're talking about, but I know a lot about having no family - or worse, having a family that would sooner pretend you're not around." He puts a hand carefully on Lacrima's shoulder.

"Not sure what your specific issues are, but you know I'm here to help you, right?" He sighs. "It's easy for them so they think it's easy for you. They don't know what it's like. They all live in nice apartments or houses with loving families and they've never worried about a damn thing in their lives. But we haven't and that's not fair but it's the way it is."
Lacrima 2017-07-10 02:44:13 80272
Lacrima scowls. "The problem is with my brother. He was my first...victim. Everyone else I've drained since only. Is in-convinced for a few hours maybe? But he was in the hospital for week. Maybe I broke something in him." she mutters. "The point is, it's unsafe for me to go home. For mine and his sake so. I'm just. Not home. again." she says.

She shifts. "I know, Riven-sama. It's why It's awkward having this talk with you." she says quietly. "That's what upsets me. It's so easy for them. but that's. For them."

"I feel sick. Inside. I spent two years. Trying to hold things together. And all it did was... was make a waste of time. That just hurts." she mutters.

"Part of me thinks I should find a new identity and start again. Or maybe just. Not have one. And just be. Lacrima. or whatever." she says softly.

"What's the point anyways?" she asks.

"I mean. Everything was fine before I became this thing. But all I did was ruin everything. So maybe that blind girl is right. Besides. It's like...destiny. or fate. or something. anyways. She said." she mutters.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 03:04:05 80278
Takashi sighs. "I know despite how easy it is for them to say it, it's not easy to actually do it, but if you need to find a new home, UMBRA's here, and I could help you with something a little bit... labrotorial?" He sighs.

"You want to be someone you were, but not someone you are now. And... There's someone who, no matter how much I try to deny it, is important to me, and wants me to be someone I'm not. And - strictly between you and me - there's a part of me that wishes I could be that person too." He sighs again, louder, and with a full shoulder slump for a moment, though it quickly gets pushed away.

"But there's something to what you said. If life is a play, or a story, then we have our roles to play, and our roles can't be the same as theirs. wasn't born normal. You've become something more than normal. And if we wallow in our despair about the roles we'll surely both waste away."

"But I also fully believe that we have the ability to be so much more, to do so much more, than they do, or that we would've been able to be if we were... normal. I am Takashi Agera, but I am also Riventon. And you can be Norie Okana if you want, but you are also Lacrima, and I don't think you can put that genie back in the bottle. I've been trying to find a way to do it, but I don't think I can seperate your one from the other without damaging you - you /are/ both. Just like me. And trying to become something you aren't - or exorcize a part of your being? I can attest with personal experience to how miserable that makes me. And I can see how miserable it makes you."
Lacrima 2017-07-10 03:30:37 80284
Lacrima frowns. "Norie Okana is a disguise I need to actually power to be. You can just. Be Takashi whenever you want. For however long you want." she says. "What's the point in wasting power on a disguise that isn't useful anymore?" she says softly.

"I don't wanna split myself. I'm talking about. Just not. Putting Norie back on." she mutters.

"I get your point, Riven-sama." she says silently as she fidgets.

"I just can't go back home. I'll just... go do something else." she says. "Home being. Where. I actually lived. I mean. I still. Do want a mundane life. Just I can't go back to that one." she shifts uncomfortably.

"When I talk. Identity. Here right now. I mean in the mundane sense of. Just. Saying I'm someone else... with a paper to back it up. Not... like.... killing. Norie. Persay. I mean. I am Norie. But I can't be Norie right now. But I'm still... Norie. I just... need to call. Norie someone else.. and...." she mutters. "Sorry this is just. Insane. Darkness fueled nonsense. Probably." she mutters.

"I know what you mean though Riven-sama." she says again.

"I've been trying to bury myself in my work but that doesn't seem to work for me." she says quietly. She looks over to Mister Squiggles and narrows her eyes at him. The youma in the tube merely blinks.

"Ugh. What are /you/ looking at." she rolls her eyes.

She looks back to Takashi. "How has. Your own. Seeking been going?" she asks.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 03:46:12 80288
Takashi sighs and looks at Lacrima. "I kinda wish I could provide what you're seeking. But I know it's not the same?" he notes more questioning than anything. "Look, I get what you're saying. I might be one of the few people who does, but it makes sense to me. Unfortunantly, I don't have the answer for you. But... you do have a chance, I suppose, in a way other people don't. You can have a new mundane life, or keep your old one. Or go back and forth. You know we can draw up the legal papers. The question is what you want."

"Burying myself in my work only works to a point." he sighs, and looks at 'Mister Squiggles'. "I'm surprised Nyubey hasn't eaten that yet. Wait... Nyubey doesn't eat, does he. Odd little thing."

"I think I'd rather be everything I can be and fail, than to try to be someone I'm not. That's why... I haven't done anything. I'm waiting for a few things to pan out. But I still intend to put this world right, probably by force since most people are really just too dumb to understand what needs to be done. Fighting fire with fire is the only way we're gonna stop this whole world from being pulled into the Dusk Zone. And while that's fine for you and me it doesn't work for anyone else, and frankly, I'd rather not run the Dusk Zone, but this world."
Lacrima 2017-07-10 04:03:23 80293
Lacrima says. "Nyubey is one of the few good things in my life. I'm glad you made him at least." she says pointedly. But really. You could replace that with any fuzzy loveable thing that isn't scared of her for what she is.

She blinks. "I'd like to run the Dusk Zone." she says pointedly. "I mean. Not like it is now. and not like I could rule it. No one can. That place is vast. Maybe a small slice." she muses.

She head tilts.

"I mean. I don't wanna. Destroy Earth or anything."

"I mean that's counter productive to what I need to do. Like. Drain life energy. Can't do that if nothings left..."

"I... I may have thought about this too hard and long somtimes." she mutters a little ashamed like.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 04:23:17 80294
Takashi shakes his head. "Not too much, really. Once you realize what you are and what you'll be doing, thinking about how you're going to continue doing it makes sense. I mean, regular humans wouldn't want to eat all their cows or chop down wood without planting more, right? Not as wierd when you consider you're just another rung on the food chain. Pretty classic vampire mythos, really."

Then he sighs. "I guess I shouldn't be encouraging that line of thought, but it's hard not to - to understand that we're better than those around us, stronger, more capable. You know?"
Lacrima 2017-07-10 04:32:58 80295
Lacrima scoffs. "That much I can agree with. On a survival level. I don't die through aging and I can better protect myself." she says flatly. "And to kill me , you need a specialized way or ... purification." she mutters.

"I mean. There's the. Emotional trade off." she says. "I don't like that." she says. "I hate it a lot actually."

"But if we're going for the rational approach- just the barest of good will should be needed in a type of society of those types."
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 05:01:21 80296
Takashi nods a bit. "Well, I'm trying to give you some of those feelings back. Let a little bit of the light back in, but not so much that you... end up in a war with yourself. It's complicated to explain, and I might not succeed. I think that is probably what makes this hardest on you - but I'm only guessing. I know the Energy has an effect on you just like it does me and everyone else."

"Well, the way I see it, these people don't need to go away just... accept the truth that our situation makes us stronger, and... It's like any historical great conqueror. Alexander, or Tokugawa. You can fight but that just puts you on the loser side."
Lacrima 2017-07-10 05:20:27 80297
Lacrima nrgs a little bit. It's an odd sound. Like an annoyed grunt. "If I had even an inkling of the feeling I'd be great." she admits. "Just remembering what it felt like and when I should just. Isn't enough. All it does is help me keep face." she says softly. "And keep point in social situations." she mutters.

"I've been trying similar things but..." she motions to the crystal that exploded earlier. "That always happens. Even when I wasn't a mess like I am now. You'd have better luck, Riven-sama." she says softly.

A pause.

She sighs and finally pulls herself to her feet and dusts off her labcoat. She begins picking up the pieces of the tablet she launched earlier.

"OH! Right. Um. I couldn't. Make a filled donut from those duskzone fruits we discovered? They kinda eat through the pastry dough. BUT. I did figured out that enough yogurt stabilizes it enough for a glass so there's smoothies in the fridge." she offers a little more calmly deadpan. At least the talk seems to have helped her a /little/

"But not a bakery wizard, honestly." she admits. "But the smoothies are good! They fizz a little bit, but not so much that it feels carbonated." she says.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 05:31:29 80298
Takashi nods. "I'm trying. I want to help you, I do. I know I can't replace your family but I'm trying to understand what it is that's got you so... grey, for lack of a better word." he admits. "I mean usually there's an uptick in emotion, just on the other side of things - hostility, anger, predatory natures rising. It doesn't appear to be that with you, even during fights?"

"I really mean to try to plant one of those somewhere in my part of the lab - I don't think it'll keep safe in this world, but I might be able to do some... work on it easier outside of the whole Dusk Zone, so I need somewhere polluted enough to keep it."

"Smoothies... that's a good idea. You've got a cleverness still that's unique to you. I can see it when you write reports for me about the Zone, you know? It shines even through that grey."
Lacrima 2017-07-10 05:42:11 80299
Lacrima frowns. "Oh I get SUPER angry during fights. But I also get really bad like this. And people say I start talking in another voice sometimes. Sometimes it's low. Like I'm talking like me without the influences. But then there's the full on voice and it sounds kind of... weird. When I say voice it's more in the tone than... sounding like someone else." she says.

"I may try confectionary next! I just think it's interesting to have a natural fruit from there. I mean. I can eat. Normal food. But that is just comfort for me. I can eat this, and I get the dark energy from it too. More close to. 'real eating' for me. You know...?" she asks softly.

She gently scuffs a bit, and perhaps even blushes a bit. "We-well." she says. "I like exploring there and stuff. So I just write what I see and try to think up potential uses and stuff." she says.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 05:48:02 80300
Takashi nods. "Well, you weren't like - born with this, like I was? But you're closer than most people, too, curse or not. You're more... intertwined. Sometimes I get the influences too. I think I do a good job of holding them back." Well, he thinks that, anyways.

"You should. It can be kind of a way to... intertwine the two. Cooking is a kind of real normal thing, but using the Darkfruits in it - you mix the two worlds. It could be a good thing for you, eye opening and all."

He grins when she scuffs. He misses the blush, however. "Well, please keep doing it. I've found it really useful. Lots of things I can use, even in small ways. The more we understand about that place, the more information I have, the better choices I can make about what to do with it all?"
Lacrima 2017-07-10 05:55:47 80301
Lacrima likes praise. If there's one thing darkness actually likes it's having it's ego boosted. "I'll continue working on that. Don't worry. I'm not. Running away or anything." she says. "From this side of the life, for what it is." she says softly.

"I should. Get back to work. And I have an outing later tonight I need to be ready for. With a friend." she says softly.

"Well I'm going to. Try anyways. I mean. other people have advice for me that works too. One was. Not to. Let myself be alone for too long. That even if you're imposing go visit. Someone. Anyone." she says.

"I know it's kept the darker stuff I had to deal with my head when I started out, out of my head this time." she offers. She sighs and picks up the remains of the crystals then shoves them into an airlock on Mister Squiggles tube then closes it and lets it get sucked in. Nomnomnomnom, goes Mister Squiggles, on discarded Tablet pieces and discared broken crystals.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 06:03:55 80302
Takashi looks down at the squiggly eyeball creature as he talks. "Well, you know, if you're ever trying to avoid being alone for too long, you have my cell phone, right? I mean. I guess your boss is sorta last on that totem pole, but I try not to get too stuck into the boss thing. 's wierd."

"Just... try to look up. You might be different, but you still have value? It's just you have to find it in a different way. There's certainly things I wouldn't be doing, wouldn't have the ability to do, if I didn't have you around. So you know... there's that." Takashi is not always the best at cheering people up, either - and especially not where he is in his own mentality - but he's trying!
Lacrima 2017-07-10 06:20:53 80303
Lacrima sort of wilts. "I don't like bothering you, yes, Taka-sama." she says softy. "Not. Because you're my boss. But because I don't want to bother you from anything important. If... you want me too. I can bother you for things besides. Lab work. And stuff. There's a new coffee shop and... there's a curry shop in town too." she says.

"The curry shop is good." she says softly. "It's authentic." she says. "As in Indian Curry." she says.

A pause. "I mean. I don't. Call you my boss. When I'm talking to people about you. You're my friend. At least. I think so?..." she asks. "So that's what I say. Unless. I am talking work. and. I still. Call you Riven-sama anyways." she says. "Because. It's. Respectful and stuff. You know....?" she mutters.

"Besides. Ami-chan already has that bad idea we're dating." she rolls her eyes. "And I don't need to go further that confusion with.... calling you Riven-kun or something." she mutters.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 06:36:09 80304
Takashi nods. "I appreciate that, but taking time for friends is important. We can absolutely make time for curry. And other things too. And you're right, I do consider you a friend. If there's one thing another friend of mine, Ms White, taught me, it's that you can't make progress on an empty stomach or an empty mind. Sometimes I do better if I can step away for a moment, but it takes something to pull me away..."

Then it's Takashi's turn to blanch. "She thinks what?!" he gets out, and goes for his phone immediately, but at least he notices what time it is. "I'll have to clear that up... tomorrow. When it's not going to wake her up. Bleh." He mumbles to nobody in particular.
Lacrima 2017-07-10 06:44:03 80305
Lacrima Shakes her head. "Don't worry. It's only her that thinks so. Everyone knows I'm not your type. I already told her that too." she says. "Since she made the inference to my face back when she was helping me with a situation. Besides. When was the last time you spoke to her.... it may not. Be a good idea for your first contact in a while to be 'I am not dating my co-worker'." she says.

"Besides. I need to bother her soon for information about that situation she helped me with a bit back. I'll... re-clear it up myself." she says. "If she still thinks so." she says.

"Besides. I don't like the inference either when. My own .... romantic life is already. Kind of complicated between... Natsumi-chan and Eilam-kun." she mutters. "I don't need it getting complicated any more than that." she says.

"So... I'll. Call soon. For curry. Okay?" she asks.
Takashi Agera 2017-07-10 06:48:48 80306
Takashi grumbles. "Yeah, you're right. Probably not the time to speak up. Too awkward... beh." He steps back unconsciously looking to the door. And then he turns to her. "Curry. Absolutely. Count on that." He doesn't know what else to do, and because of that he just kind of slinks away. But he makes a mental note to give Lacrima's situation more attention...