Fate and Family? Bah.

Alexis finds Lacrima in her current unhappy state. A Discussion is had. Lacrima leaves more confused.

Date: 2017-07-11
Pose Count: 26
Lacrima 2017-07-11 01:18:47 80307
Lacrima is kind of angrily staring at the ocean right now. She's talked with various people but she still doesn't have an answer or a solution. Just. Maybes and you can do it and advice. She is throwing bread from an a bread bag at pigeons. She's not supposed to feed pigeons. But pigeons don't judge her or reject her.

She stops though and then actually tosses the bread bag over the railing of the boardwalk to hide the evidence as she watches the pigeons.

She lightly mutters under her breath. "Pigey pigey pigey..."
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 01:33:37 80308
"I'm not sure they appreciate being talked to like that," comes a familiar, german-accented voice, then.

Despite the general over-the-top, boisterous theatrics he tends to often pull, Alex somehow did manage to tend to bring himself upon people without notice every now and then, ever since the vampire incident. Although, considering this is Lacrima we are speaking of, she could perhaps notice him well ahead of time anyway. Who knows, perhaps she could even still 'sense' him despite his connection to the Dusk Zone having been severed.

Either way, Alex comes standing upon the railing besides her, arms covered by the usual brown leather crossing together over it while he peers to the ocean. "Though, what do I know, I suppose? I can't talk to birds like some of the people here can." Hm. Maybe he should ask Corvus about that when he goes visit Gullwing Coffee next time.
Lacrima 2017-07-11 01:46:05 80309
Lacrima blinks and looks up. She frowns a bit. "They don't appreciate nor not appreciate it. They're pigeons. They have bread crumbs and they are happy." she says quietly as she blushes because she was just caught more or less singing lightly to pigeons. She mutters.

"Mom used to take me out and let me sneakily feed the pigeons in the park...." she mutters.

She shifts a bit. Something is clearly not going well here for her. She sounds awful and depressed. More so than usual.

"A friend asked me about you." she says quietly. "Werewolf. Ikiko-chan." she says softly.

"Not many vampires in town. Thank god." she says.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 01:54:26 80310
"That sounds nice," murmurs Alex, with a bit of a far-off look in his eyes for a moment while they stare off to the calm waves of the ocean waters below. "My mom... She took me to places, occasionally. Not many times. Nothing like that." He lets out a quiet sigh with that before the mention of Ikiko draws his eyes down to the vampire besides her.

"...Whatever for?" He asks first, with a few blinks of his eyes-- but then his own brain catches on. "...Oh. Yes. Because of the whole thing with me, right? I suppose she had the right to ask, after I picked up on what *she* was so quickly."
Lacrima 2017-07-11 02:03:25 80311
Lacrima nods. "When. You start. 'Seeing' these things...." she says.

"It's hard to not see them and point them out. When you start realizing the people behind you aren't talking about some video game, but the harrowing situation they experienced the other night in the coffee shop, and who they are on a vauge level." she says silently.

She looks down. "I...I haven't. Been good. Alexis-kun." she says silently. "I finally. Did something. I thought might help. Repair my family. And all I did was make it worse and then I found out I'd just waste two years anyways... holding onto the hope anyways..." she says silently.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 02:17:40 80312
Everything else gets lost in Alex's mind when she says those few very important words. He pushes back away from the railing, and the full attention of both his green eyes settles on her, brows furrowing downwards. "...I see," he lets out in a breath after the silent explanation, and then his hand lowers down upon her shoulder.

"Is there something you like to drink?" He asks then, with his head nudging towards one of the numerous cafes that populate the boardwalk. "It may be selfish of me, but I would like to hear you tell me about it. And maybe something you like the taste of will help a little with the memory."
Lacrima 2017-07-11 02:27:02 80314
Lacrima sits there at the bench. "I don't. Feel safe around lots of people right now. Can you just bring something back here?" she asks quietly. "Otherwise. Something... chocolate. I dunno." she shifts a bit. "Maybe mocha. coffee. frappe... something." she mutters.

Well, at least it's almost specific.

She waits as she gently mutters back down at the pigeons. Stupid pigeons. Maybe she should become a pigeon. Then one'll have to care about her. Yeaaaaah.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 02:42:29 80315
"I will do this then," Alex offers, and before his hand leaves her sohulder, he gives it a squeeze. And then he's departing.

A few minutes after, he returns with to take-away cups in hand, offering one to her. "I decided to go with hot chocolate for both of us, since that's what you lead with," he murmurs, smile faint, before he lowers himself down to sitting next to her.

Lacrima 2017-07-11 02:52:19 80316
Lacrima shifts. "Rashmi-chan and I. Went and. Spoke to my brother. About what I am. Because. My brother was my first victim. And he remembers. vaugely. What happened. Not quite. But. He was also in the hospital for a week after when... everyone else just wakes up after a few hours." she says.

"But. He... rejected me. Said. Not nice things. Said. His sister was dead." she says. "Disowned... can't really. Go home." she mutters.

"Probably have a missing persons report going through the news soon." she says lightly as she hangs her head. She just kind of holds her hot chocolate for a bit. She doesn't sip it.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 03:07:44 80317
There's a long moment of silence there, on the part of Alex. He listens. He frowns. But he doesn't say anything, not to interrupt her, and not for a moment even after she's finished.

He just lets it all run through his head, and assess it all. And then, finally:

"Your brother is a dick."

It's a simple, almost violently blunt statement. ANd it's immediately followed by Alex taking a slow, casual sip from his hot chocolate, like what he said was *completely* normal. Ssssssiiiip.
Lacrima 2017-07-11 03:16:15 80318
Lacrima blinks. "He's a jerk, yes." she says quietly.

"But he's also a correct jerk." she says as she shifts. "I'm /undead/ Alexis. It implies I died. and came back. different. Functionally. The same. I have the memories. But. I'm also. Not that Norie I was before that either." she says quietly.

"To top it all off. Some... dream. Samurai... person. Showed me the-- cords of fate and destiny that...tie everyone together. Showed me the ones leading to my families. How... weak they were."

"Said it was fated for me to not have them anymore. I..just.."

"Why was I an idiot? Why did I waste my time? I'm so... I'm so angry. and upset. and sad. and--- I'm just so tired of being all those things I'm not even showing it anymore." she says uncomfortably.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 03:33:25 80319
"So does that mean everything that came before you changed is meaningless now?" asks Alex, with a frown.

"Do all those wishes you have for your brother, for him to accept you, for him to be well, mean nothing now?"

HE shakes his head, and takes a slow sip of hot chocolate again. "There's nothing idiotic about all that. Neither was it a waste of time. The fact that you were looking for that... as far as I'm concerned, that's already a sign that the Norie you used to be isn't all gone. And that's what's important."

"So maybe your brother is right in a sense. And it's not as if though I don't understand where he's coming from with that kind of gut reaction, you know? But..."

He shakes his head. "That doesn't mean he's 'right'."
Lacrima 2017-07-11 03:39:37 80320
Lacrima frowns. "But fate an destiny say otherwise." she says as she fidgets. "T..that's not even. What's bothering me it's just... that....samurai girl... she..."

"Just... told me to get a new family. Like. Like it's so easy. Just..." she genuinely begins tightening the grip on that hot chocolate cup.

"My own family won't accept me! W--why would even-----" she nrgs! and throws the hot chocolate cup to the ground in front of her as she places her hands to her face.

"S--sorry this is why. I can't be around. large groups right now. Volatile. Lashing out. Not. Good. To do that. In crowded areas."

"Just a waste of time." she mutters.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 03:54:31 80321
Alex remains silent for a moment again while he watches her, post-outlash. It takes that moment, but soon he's leaning over to set his takeaway-cup down onto the ground, and--

And then suddenly his arms are around the vampire and pulling her against him into a hug. Like he's trying to form some strange protective barrier around her from the rest of the world.

"I know it isn't easy," he murmurs, head slowly shaking. "It never is, when it comes to family. Good or bad. Sometimes things like that just go one step at a time, too. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's good... sometimes it's really, really bad. But it's never a waste."

And then, in a much, much quieter voice, he adds in there, "Besides... I accepted you."

And then, there's a click of his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and an outright scoffing sound. "And what's 'fate' and 'destiny', anyway? They can go to hell for all I care."
Lacrima 2017-07-11 04:22:42 80322
Lacrima is hugged and this makes her feel uncomfortable but also 'okay' at the same time an she hates herself as she just begins to well. /cry/. It's a deep series of sobs and she's trying to just sob and also not. Create awful staining ichor tears. She's succeeding, so far.

"I just hate it. Everyone. Everyone has told me everything is so easy since I've been this thing and that hurts the most. It's so /easy/ to drain thugs that are surely everywhere when I need to feed in bulk like a buffet! It's so easy to find a new family! It's so easy to live without /good feelings/." she seethes, through her teeth.

"Fate and destiny are important, Alexis. Not true for everyone. True for many others." she says softly as she just bites her teeth a little to try to stop herself from crying further.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 17:50:12 80325
Alex doesn't say anything for a while after she starts crying. But there's no other blatant reaction either. If anything, he keeps a very level head, and merely continues to squeeze her lightly, in an effort to provide some comfor. Comfort that he knows all too well that doesn't come easy for her, having experienced that kind of thing before.

"I know," he murmurs eventually, though, with one of his hands gently settling to the back of her head to gently guide her head against him. Let those tears soak into his jacket or shirt if they are to come out. He doesn't mind. "I know it isn't. I know all too well."

And that's all he says for a long while. There's no need for more than that. For the time being, the only thing that matters is providing her that circle of protection from his own arms and body, one hand gently brushing along her head, as if trying to soothe. It's a strangerly brotherly thing, that.
Lacrima 2017-07-11 18:20:39 80326
Lacrima manages to finally stop herself from sobbing, her voice is still shaky, but basically what's important to her is not ruining Alexis's clothes with awful ichor tears or something. She sighs and then begins to squirm her way out of that hug as she huffs. She shifts a little uncomfortably.

"I know." she says quietly. "You. and Kukai." she says flatly. "Would be the best to understand." she says quietly.

She shifts a bit as she sighs and picks up the cup she threw and places it down next to her. No point in littering. Despite the bread.

Also she scared the pigeons off when she did that. :(
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 18:32:42 80327
"Yes," Alex says tone solemn, and even after she has drawn away form the hug, he keeps one arm around her. Just to make that point of his presence there remaining for her.

"Life in general is not really easy for most people," he says then, bluntly. "There are some who get lucky enough to have it easy? In theory I could have too, but... You know. Some things are lost with that, too. We get through life and grow because it *isn't* easy."

"But you know, that doesn't have to mean it will all just be hardship. That it will not be okay eventually."

A quiet sigh gets let out. "And it absolutely doesn't mean that it's a waste of time to want it to be okay, either."
Lacrima 2017-07-11 18:54:14 80328
Lacrima frowns. "But... even. Mundane. Hardships aren't... bad compared to this." she mutters. "Those have a chance of being fixed." she says quietly. She shifts a bit. "I can't be human again. My family is torn apart because I'm a mess and not like I was.... and now I can't even go back to my home." she says quietly.

"Yes it is." she says quietly.

"I tried for two years, only to screw up my attempt to fix things and then find out it was fate anyways." she shifts. "Nothing changes that's the fact..." she says.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 19:43:13 80329
"Are you an idiot?" Alex says suddenly, with a frown. "Don't let anyone tell you what's going to be your life. Not even fate or whatever."

The german boy shakes his head. "Look... You know how I am. I'm not going to be saying it's gonna be okay or it's fine or otherwise coddle you. But I'm not going to tell you to just forget about all that either. And I'm *definitely* not going to tell you that it won't be okay or that you should give up. Because when you give up... only that is when you truly lose. No one really truly knows what the future holds. I know there might be time travellers and whatever around here, too, but from what I've understood, even their futures could change."

"So screw fate. Screw destiny. And screw anyone else that says this is how it *has* to be." His hand gives a gentle squeeze to her shoulder again. "Your life is your own to guide. A lot of the time it's hard, and sometimes you have to fight for it... But no one should be allowed to take that away from you."
Lacrima 2017-07-11 20:07:39 80330
Lacrima sours. "You don't have to tell me to give up because I already have." she mutters.

"Don't...worry about it." she blusters. "I have a place to go. I'll just. Be. Someone else. Now or something." she shifts uncomfortably. "It's not like I can make my brother feel differently about it." she says gently. "Short of... beating it into him or something...."
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 20:21:11 80331
"No," Alex says bluntly, with a quick, firm shake given to his head. "No, you can't tell me not to think that's okay. You can't tell me not to worry about it. Not after everything."

He lifts himself up from the bench, now, but he doesn't turn away, instead spinning on his feet so that he can face her, even if he has to look down. "As far as I'm concerned, you are Norie Okana. And you are my family."
Lacrima 2017-07-11 21:17:49 80332
Lacrima keeps her soft frown and she gently shifts a bit uncomfortably as Alexis talks about that. "I'm not telling you anything. But I'm telling you what I believe right now." she says quietly. She gently sighs and shakes her head as she seems to wilt when Alexis stands and looks down at her and she's sure she's going to get some lecture. She's used to this. Lectures.

This isn't quite a lecture.

She just gently.... huffs a bit and blushes- though it's hard to tell why. Probably. Too much at once. "I..I should....go...." she stammers. This is getting too much for her, it seems as she stands up and begins to stammer a little shakily off.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 21:26:37 80333
"Norie," says Alex, reaching out to just touch her shoulder. Not squeeze, not stop her from moving. Just a gentle, brief brush of a hand there. "I'll be there for you, okay?" And that's that. He watches her. Sees if she's going to keep moving away or not.
Lacrima 2017-07-11 21:27:42 80334
Lacrima doesn't stop. She does try to mutter out. "I know. I just. Need. Alone. Right now." she mutters out. The tone isn't agigtated or upset. More. Worried and awkward it seems. And off she goes into an alley. Probably to do her Dusk Step thing.
Alexis Raskoph 2017-07-11 21:31:47 80335
Alex, on the other hand, stays standing there, and he just watches her. Until she's slipping over into that alley, and out of sight. Once she has, he lets out a heavy, frustrated sigh, hands clutching into tight fists. Shaking. Whitening at the knuckles.

And only after a moment of seething there, he turns, and grumbles, "Time to find where Big Brother Okana goes to school..."