The (Not) Boyfriend.

Lacrima invites Eilam out and talks to him about private things since her head's been getting better. Like how she thinks of him as a 'Not' Boyfriend. Which is odd and complicated more than it needs to be!

Date: 2017-07-19
Pose Count: 17
Lacrima 2017-07-19 04:08:36 80609
Lacrima wanted to go out. Eilam would had noticed it as she was staying at his place, that she was a bit calmer about things. Maybe even more so than normal, as if nothing was wrong. Things are still wrong. She talks about it. But she isn't a mess-- anymore. At least for the time being.

So thusly, she has dragged Eilam out into the later night, perhaps in his chaurefered car. She wanted coffee. Flavored coffee. And pastries. Luckily, there's a place not too far away. Gullwing. Not fancy, but it's quiet this time for night as she walks in and holds the door for Eilam. She softly waits for him to enter before she closes the door and walks to the pastry case to stick her nose against it. Yup. She's staring intently at the pastries.

"This place makes great apple turnovers." she says flatly. "I could eat them indefinitely, if an indefinite amount existed." she says.

She squints a bit at the other pastries.

"I...never asked. I guess. Do you like. Sweets. Eilam-kun?" she asks softly.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-19 04:22:40 80611
    He'd noticed the change, but hadn't really pressed it. If it was something she'd intended to talk about, she certainly would have. Instead, he just seemed... content, if anything, to have the company. It was a small thing by a lot of standards, but the majority of his life has been fairly alone. He didn't tend to trust or let in others, not because of being a hermit or any such, but his own security procedures. Paranoia and steps of good measure. But with Norie - Lacrima, well there was a certain measure of not having to worry. Which was strange to him.

    Eough that for things such as this, he seemed content to go along. Tonight he favored his stave, though that wasn't an unusual thing for him. Hardly crawling with it, simply leaning against it slightly, the bottom of it padded so it didn't really clack against the floor or anything so pointed. He watched as she acted much like a child would and just stared at the pastries, earning a small chuckle. "I... I like them, yes. My diet is horrible. No reason for it not to be, right? Terminal illness, wasting away, why care about my weight. Just... enjoy myself." In truth he didn't really put on weight, a happy byproduct of his curse, but it was convenient. Which meant he could eat whatever horribly unhealthy, fatty, rich foods he liked and drink as much soda or all the other unhealthy things that have cropped up in the last century as junk food and enjoy it. Or in this case... "I do prefer natural flavors compared to artificial things that just use processed sugar to cover up for a lack of quality, to be honest."
Lacrima 2017-07-19 04:40:14 80613
Lacrima usually doesn't press her nose to things. That was something human Norie would had done. She probably hasn't realized it. She leans back and head tilts. "Ah. You.... probably....." she has to think about it. "Know what things taste like when things weren't completely using... processed, fake sugar." she says softly. She gently picks out five turnovers and then orders a frozen mocha with extra chocolate sauce. She'll let Eilam order what he wants of course. If Eilam doesn't offer to pay for it. She does.

She finds a nice quiet both at the back of the store. That's where she wants to sit. It's too dark to sit out on the patio at least. She settles in and waits for Eilam to get settled in good aswell.

She takes a long sip of the flavored mocha as she settles.

"Um. I really. Don't have a baseline. For. How. I act outwardly." she she talks a little awkwardly. "Have I been acting. Odd. Or different...?" she asks quietly. "At all? Even. Slight deviations. Would be helpful to know." she asks.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-19 04:58:49 80617
    "Well, yes, but I am not going to lament how things were so much better. They were not." he said rather simply. "If you ever hear anyone who tries to claim such, they are simply making noise and not looking at things objectively. Technology, food, life, everything has advanced in so many ways, that I am beyond glad I could not even imagine the changes that have happened." Though that was largely said /after/ he ordered, and paid for all of it, then walked over to join her. His order was - as he said - a bit... unhealthy. No coffee, or coffee derivatives. Just the largest size hot chocolate that was available, extra strong with extra extra chocolate enough that he might have gotten looked at funny. He also got what seemed to be a sampling of one of each of the smaller things available. All the little finger-foods, just a bit of everything to try and see what he liked.
    "Those who were born in this age are lucky beyond their ability to know." Though her question did make him curious. "If I thought there was something wrong with you, or if I thought someone else had control of you, I would have simply kissed you to see your response." Okay he probably wouldn't have, that didn't /seem/ like something he would do. But maybe he would. "Is there something I should know? You are not going to tell me you are having a desire to just skip school and run off into the sunset with me or something are you?"
Lacrima 2017-07-19 05:23:11 80620
Lacrima shakes her head. "Mamoru Chiba." she says softly. "Has been. Trying to fix. The damage to my emotions. He isn't really... succeeding. But. He's also. Fixed... things." she says. "I wish I could describe it. I'll do my best." she says.

"When... I dream. I sometimes dream of a courtyard. It is usually. Full of dead vegetation. It's pitch black. There's only a bench and the shape of wall around me." she says.

"I know that represents... what. Me... is?" she says. "It's hard to understand."

"Anyways. Now it's. Usuaully twilight. Instead of dark. And. There are sprouts. In the ground. and there are torches. On the wall. and now there is a ballroom, off the courtyard. But the ballroom, is a mess." she says quietly.

"And-- if there was any room... to represent my.... emotional capacity. It'd be. That ballroom." she says quietly. "Because. Dancing is. My favorite thing. Or. It used to be. When I had. Places to dance. Or... dance partners." she says quietly.

"I'm not sure. Some people say I seem calmer. or. something." she says.

"I know it's harder for me to be agitated right now." she says. "So I'm thinking it's helping. With something." she says.

She stuffs a turnover into her mouth and takes a few bites.

"Don't. Worry about it. The idea isn't to. change me. Just return something that was there. Or is still but. But is being blocked, or muddled." she says quietly.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-19 05:35:22 80621
    Normally, upon listening to such an explanation of what was going on, Eilam would have suggested someone get psychological help. The idea that someone is literally dreaming of some space, or reality, which represents them that is constantly there sounds like some eighteenth century psychological dream analysis. And yet... more and more, Eilam was forced to accept that magic, and magical situations, were real. His own condition seemingly was magical even if he'd never attributed it to such, Reiko, all the magic he's seen since, that damn demon dog that ate him, the cards, Lacrima in general. All of it.

    So he finally sighed and took a moment to just look towards the counter, drinking from the painfully thick drink that was about as healthy as drinking liquid hershey's syrup at this point. "To be honest, I cannot begin to... well, I hear you, and certainly understood what you said, but actually being able to make sense of it is another matter entirely. I am still new to these things. I admit I believe I pissed off your girlfriend over a similar thing. I laughed at the idea of someone believing in both astrology and astronomy, being about the same as someone believing both in pharmacology and homeopathy. Yet she seemed to /insist/ that it was all real and magic was proof. Which just..."
    Eilam shook his head, still not really able to accept such a thing. "I suppose I will just leave it at if you are happy, I am happy, and if I can help in any way do let me know. But as it stands I do not believe I can understand the details of it. Is this... dream bit you mention something everyone has?"
Lacrima 2017-07-19 05:54:40 80623
Lacrima shakes her head. "No. I'm different. I'm technically a dark energy construct with sentience. Just a monster with a soul of some sort." she says quietly. "So the rules don't apply to me as it does for everyone else. I don't have my own dreams. I dream of that place. Or I dream of the one who had the power before me. But never. my own dreams anymore." she says quietly.

"But that's just how it is." she says.

She fidgets a bit. "I'm not happy. But that isn't your fault. That's just what I am muddling me up." she says quietly. "Even if I can feel it in short bursts. That's better than nothing." she says gently.

"I mean. Some. People do have a thing like that. /I think/? Ariel. Might. because. She's a dream... type. Person. Thing..."

"I'll have to ask her. She'd know best." she says quietly.

She sips her mocha.

She huffs and shakes her head. "That's a sore point for her. She. Talks to stars." she says quietly. "And she actually does." she says.

"It's why I'm afraid to ask her things. Because I might not like what I hear. When she talks about the future."

She shifts a bit.

"I'm sorry she wasn't friendly to you, Eilam-kun." she says gently.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-19 06:08:07 80625
    "Well, I'm sure if I said your baby had a wart on its' forehead and you told me no, it was a horn and they were a unicorn, I would snort like an idiot and make an ass out of myself. So while I cannot say she was... friendly, it was hardly her doing. I am not going to blame her for that, I made no effort to be polite before I realized who she was. Which was by chance, I'd never ... seen her, no pictures or any such by you." Something about remembering the exchange made Eilam seem amused. "It may seem petty of me but I do not... humor..." Eilam actually paused there, trying to think of the word to use in Japanese. He was familiar with the phrase in a couple of other languages, but for a moment, "Well, I cannot say I can think of the right phrase to use. Regardless, I have... lived long enough to hear enough crazy claims and in this day and age, with medicine, technology and all its' modern marvels what they are, idiots who still believe such things tend to annoy me. But now I am forced to admit some of it might be real and that worries me a bit more than it should."

    He actually laughs a bit at that, not certain he likes the idea of unicorns and star fortune reading being real things. "Next thing you know, I'm going to find out that Unicorn lair North Korea claims they found was actually real." another pause and then he looks back to Lacrima, "But back to you... if you think it helps, and you feel better, by all means. There is some truth to mind over body in all things, and I know little enough of magic to say one way or another. I like you however you happen to be and I doubt that will ever change, unless you come back one day in ganguro. Then I might look at you funny."

    Another pause, then he offers his chocolate sludge drink towards her, "Want some? It is a bit thick, to taste I imagine."
Lacrima 2017-07-19 06:30:19 80626
Lacrima blinks. "My dream-traveling friend is a unicorn." she says softly. "Ariel-chan. Her mother is a unicorn and her other mother is some sort of... sea witch?" she asks. "They're both nice for what it's worth." she says. "Welcoming of me, despite, knowing. What I am." she says quietly.

"Lots of that stuff is real, Eilam-kun." she says quietly. "I know it sounds stupid. I remember not believing it either as I drained people and called myself a vampire. It can take a bit to settle in." she says quietly.

"If. You let me. and let her. We might be able to visit your dreams, and we can take you into mine, if you want to understand properly." she says quietly.

She leans forward and takes a sip of the chocolate sludge. She leans back and seems to be searching the roof. "That's sweet." she says.

She fidgets a bit. She seems to be searching her head to try to figure out how to ask something as she closes her eyes a moment and takes a sip of her own drink again.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-26 04:35:33 80919
    Eilam rolls his eyes a bit, though he seemed more resigned and amused than upset. "Some things are better left private. You... I would consider trusting, but i do not know others. And I have already had one poor experience with such things with that damn card, so I am... leery. But you should understand, my hesitation is a lot more... rooted than yours, I imagine. Yours was based in science, in logic. In reality as you know it. Mine... was built upon seeing way too many people go from believing madness like you could drink irradiated tonics to improve your health and that you would be healed if only your blood was drained out of you, to science now where I am arguably even more worried about being discovered, because information never vanishes in this internet age. So..."

    He takes a deep breath before letting it out slowly, drinking more from his chocolate sludge. "...what was it you were wanting to bring up? Not to call you out, but even with your... lack of some emotions, others are still quite easy to pick out on you. Maybe found another guy you like and want to slip away to focus on them?" His tone indicated he was teasing, though chances were he wouldn't even be offended if such was the case.
Lacrima 2017-07-26 05:18:46 80921
Lacrima listens and nods. "I understand." she says quietly. She then fidgets and looks around. Not a lot of people. Some. But the shoppe is empty this late. Then she slips up to her feet and walks over and sits next to Eilam. Then she scoots a little over and tries to drape an arm around her as she closes her eyes with a grumble. It's not an upset grumble. More like. Self frustration.

"...When I have to explain you to people. I don't discuss your predicament. And when I try to... discuss. Your relationship to me. I call you the..... Not... Boyfriend. The Not Boyfriend." she says quietly.

She shifts a bit. "Please don't. Be embarrassed or anything. But it's hard to describe. Someone you like to kiss. and want to spend a lot of time with. and cuddle. And want to go out with..." she mutters.

"I just hope that doesn't upset you." she says quietly. "That's all. Really." she says with her eyes closed as she sighs a bit softly.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-26 05:46:07 80924

    Having her walk over and basically use him to hug herself, it amused Eilam. Of course, he didn't care, in fact, he leaned against her a tiny bit and relaxed, content to share the moment what it was while listening. "Not boyfriend? It is... well, not far off, certainly." Though as she continues, Eilam simply smiles and leaned down a bit to press a soft kiss to her cheek. "You will find me quite relaxed and hard to bother, unless you break my trust somehow. So I would not worry too much about such things. If anything I find it cute that you are so concerned about what I think of it, and appreciate it. Thank you."

    To be quite fair he seemed content to just stay like that for the moment, even reaching to take one of the pastry bits she ordered and offer it up to her using a particularly small fork. "Should what should I call you, if it is brought up, besides adorable and nice to hug?"
Lacrima 2017-07-26 06:28:21 80926
Lacrima says, coyly, almost immediately: "Not Girlfriend." she says in her usual dead pan manner of humor. "But, you can call me whatever you want to others, Eilam-kun." she says quietly. "or tell them what you want." she shrugs. "I"m not as embarrassed. I don't think. I mean. I blush. Sure..." she mutters. Yeah she blushes at that cheek kiss.

"Sometimes I wish I could just call you boyfriend. But. I don't... want to. Assume too much. Even if it's really just semantics at that point." she mutters.

She stays there though as she steals another sip from Eilam's super chocolate sludge cup.

"I'm just thankful you're here right now." she says quietly. "and... and that. I don't need to feel unsafe touching you. Because I can't... accidently hurt you so bad that you won't... 'repair' yourself." she murmurs.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-26 06:43:10 80927
    "I am happy being even nothing at all to you. It might be hard to grasp, but just knowing you are there, and... now, learning there may be others that are not living normal human lifespans? It does give me hope in general. But do not forget, I left it up to you what part of my life, if any, you wished to be. Or the other way about. So you would not be assuming anything, given the choice was only ever yours to make." a pause, then Eilam has to ask, "So your friend is not only a unicorn, can interact with dreams? That sounds like the plot of an anime or some shoujo manga." Somehow he felt like he'd made that reference before. "...have we talked about her before? Somehow, I feel like I made that observation, but for whatever reason I do not recall."
Lacrima 2017-07-26 07:09:00 80928
Lacrima nods as she keeps leaned against with a "Mmmmmmph." she says softly. "She's a unicorn, yes." she says. "I think I mentioned her before and you mentioned that unicorn cave...?" she asks. "She's unrelated to that. Probably." she says. "She's only twelve years old. If anything, her mother would be related to that." she says quietly.

She gently just closes her eyes.

"Nothing at all would be unfair of me. And not what I want." she says coyly.

"I hope I haven't bothered you living in your house." she says. "Even if I had to sleep in the closet once or twice for comfort." she says.
Eilam Hisakawa 2017-07-26 07:19:32 80929
    "Perhaps if I let you introduce me to your friend, I would remember easier. I tend to try and hold onto things I find important, maybe I did not think that was too important at the time. Though in retrospect I do not know /why/ that is the case. No matter, I would love to meet your friend. Friends, even." a slight pause, "And no, you have not bothered me. I am happy to have you there. I have not had someone live with me in such a fashion in a long, long time. Servants, caretakers, employees yes, but... you, no. Though I do wonder if perhaps I can be your closet someday."
    Something about that makes him snort softly with a bit of a laugh, "To comfort, not for you to... sleep inside of. Eloquence was never my suit."
Lacrima 2017-07-26 07:48:21 80930
Lacrima almost smiles. Almost. It's that little twinge at the side of her lips as she talks. "Dad is... Japanese American. He is Japanese, but. He grew up in America. One of the first movies he showed us, growing up was Star Wars. And there was this bit where the main character slices open this creature to sleep inside of because it was deadly cold." she says quietly.

"That's what I thought of just then." she says. "That is silly." she says.

"I know what you mean. It's just the... enclosed space. That makes me feel comfortable. Not sure if. Cuddles... or. Hugging would count. But. THat would explain why I like them." she says quietly as she sips her own drink, taking a longer sip.