Not Recommending A Therapist

Naru and Kazuo come visit Alexis, in the interest of trying to prod him out of his self-imposed shell. Also, Kriegsfauste is brought back from a visit.

Date: 2017-12-12
Pose Count: 29
Kunzite 2017-12-12 01:46:48 87559
There *was* good weather. Truly there was. It was even good enough that a certain family held an outdoor barbecue -- and there was food fetched back from that, so if Alexis ever wanted to find out what a deep-fried hot dog tasted like for some reason, he had an opportunity.

It's not ... terrible weather right now, eight. But it's cold enough that the rosebush on the balcony has been brought inside, and placed where it has a reasonable view of the seating and the television. The residents are weird about that rosebush.

The residents are weird about a lot of things. One side effect of that is that Alexis is in part left to his own devices -- even before he was walking, he was allowed to try to walk, and assisted or rescued when needed. Now that he's walking, well. He can go more or less where he wants, barring people's actual bedrooms (though Nephrite's apartment isn't the best of plans in general). Weights that are suited to what he can actually lift turn up convenient to his room. Suggestions get made, some verbal and some printed off the Internet, for tweaks to his calisthenics to help muscle groups people don't usually think about. Books about the things he should be handling in classes get left, too. But he doesn't have to touch any of them.

People turn up at intervals, too, so that there's at least an opportunity to interrupt the kind of death spirals that moods and emotions turn into when someone's left alone too long.

But he doesn't have to talk with them, not unless those death spirals are happening and are visible enough to get him dragged out for video games or food.

Mostly, he gets to determine what happens to him himself. Because after what was happening before, making choices, even small day-to-day ones, is important.

That doesn't mean the choices he makes aren't watched. But Kazuo, for instance, mostly doesn't come stalking him to find out what he's doing, or to tell him to go easier on himself. He just keeps tabs on what people see, and how often they don't see it, and how Alexis is moving or eating or grunting nonverbally afterward.


Tonight, though, Kazuo taps at Alexis's door, actually looking for him instead of simply being the presence that wrangles the rest of the household into making sure food is available and laundry gets done.
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 02:00:48 87560
All things considered, Alex hasn't actually been... very talkative, since his entry into the care of the Court. Though considering recent events, this comes, perhaps, as not so much of a surprise, really. Existensial crisises and all that.

At the very least, he's been stubborn as all hell about getting his mobility back. Granted, he hadn't lost *that* much muscle mass, but nearly a month in stasis does... not great things to the way synapses work. ONce he upgraded from 'falling on his face every time he stood up' to actually being able to walk, it only went on further from there. WEights are gratefully (but silently) taken and made use of. None of the advice is really taken into account, at first, but eventually through sheer experience of terrible aches and such, there were signs of actaully working according to them.

THat's one thing he's willing to do easily now. HE kept saying it was the one thing he still had control over. Perhaps he isn't so convinced about everything else.

Perhaps that is why he hasn't really left his assigned room for anything save getting food or using the bathroom, or even touched any of the books provided.

When the door is knocked upon, however, there's a call from the other side of "It's unlocked," and actually opening it shows Alex sat on the edge of the bed weights in both hands, lifted up and down with curls of his respective arms. Sweat dribbled along bared skin left by the short sleeves of the t-shirt he wears this time around suggests he's been at this for a pretty good while.
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 02:04:29 87561
The visitors are weird too, for that matter. Not just about the rosebush, although that's eternally part of it. Naru lets herself in, with her satchel over her shoulder. The lack of coat required implies that she's come up from downstairs rather than anywhere else. Flats get kicked off at the door and she quirks her head at the sound of Alexis' voice following the sound of the knock. She peeks her way down that hallway, to see the folks who are around.
Kunzite 2017-12-12 02:11:12 87562
Kazuo steps into the room and leans against the wall beside the door. He probably does more wall-leaning than actually sitting on furniture; as if he's not entirely comfortable actually joining groups of people, instead of hanging back and surveying them.

"When you can't entirely trust what's in your head," he says without preamble, "keeping to yourself prevents the problem from being addressed. You've been working on physical recovery. Sooner or later, you'll need to work on the less physical kinds."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 02:20:01 87563
"Are you suggesting I hire a therapist?" Alex asks with a bit of a frustrated tone in his muttering. And apparently this conversation isn't enough to deter him into stopping with the process of weightlifting and such.

"WHat would I even say to one, precisely? MY parents were brainwashing me through most of my adolescent life? I'm sure that would go over well."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 02:25:17 87564
"Probably wouldnt be the first they'd met." Naru points out as she comes to peek into the doorway, catching the end of Alexis' words. She nods to Kazuo where he's doing his exceptional task of holding up the walls.

Naru pauses and then adds. "Hi. I don't recommend mundane therapists. Too much not telling them things, just to be sure."
Kunzite 2017-12-12 02:30:31 87565
Kazuo tilts his head sideways toward Naru, something of a greeting. It's still Alexis he's talking to, though. "You're presently living in a household of people most of whom spent several years each with their minds edited by someone else. We've observed a pattern: time to get our feet under us, yes, but after that, if we stayed isolated, the problem got worse instead of better. I don't recommend a therapist, no. But sorting out which things inside your head are you and which are not ... that requires interacting with other people."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 02:46:09 87566
"The question of what I am to evne say still remains," Alex insists in a quiet rumble-- the particular direction of the conversation seeming to finally cause him to slow the movements of his weight-lifting hands, and finally come to a stop, letting them rest upon his thighs. "If I'm going to just be some object, then--" He pauses, briefly, to peer towards Naru, upon her commentary. "...Rather just do it in here."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 02:54:27 87567
"Who said anything about you being an object?" Naru asks with a flicker of a frown. "You are pretty solidly some flavour of you, working out which bits you like and want to keep, that's the trick. Although, gonna say, nice not to be the one getting The Talk, this time. So thanks for that, Alex."
Kunzite 2017-12-12 02:57:02 87568
"I imagine that Neil would be rather surprised to be informed he was inevitably doomed to be just some object," Kazuo observes. "So would his girlfriend. Izumi wouldn't be surprised, but his reaction would probably involve setting the person who told him that on fire."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 03:05:27 87569
"...That is not what I meant and you know it," Alex insists with a further of a grumble in his voice over Kazuo's words, eyes squinting towards him. "Look, it's-- mrh." He shakes his head then, and pushes the weights away from his lap. "Forget it." As for Naru? He gets a squinty-eyed look sent at her, too. "... I feel like I should not be feeling good about that part, for some reason."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 03:11:41 87570
"Well. Think of it this way." Naru leans a little against the door frame. She's not as skilled about holding up walls as Kazuo might be, she's about half his size, just to start, but door frames are easier to hold up. "As much as it feels like this is wholly new.. it is and it isn't. The layers and degrees of screwed up in all of us are legion. Yours might be slightly different flavours, but we're all pretty screwed up and have to get kicked in coping with the screwed up, because it sucks."
Kunzite 2017-12-12 03:19:06 87571
Naru holding up the doorframe also keeps Kazuo from taking Alexis at his word and leaving the conversation. This may have been a clever plan on Naru's part. "Neil and Izumi both emerged from having their minds taken over for five years without memories of their lives previous to it," Kazuo says quietly. "They had to make their own way out from under the falsehoods imposed on their minds, and establish who they were, who they chose to be, on their own. Neil was not, true, fighting his own family to do so. Izumi was."

He makes a one-handed gesture, sharp and slashing, on the side away from Naru. "What makes a person," he says, "is their experiences and their choices. If you stay in here -- you can't test your memories of your experiences against other people's memories, and determine which you can trust and which you can't. And you have very little opportunity to make choices. So. Stay in here while you need to, yes. But sooner or later, you will need to choose to be someone. And it will help if you've started sorting out who that someone will be."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 03:29:36 87572
THere's no smart-ass comeback of a commentary from Alex this time. Not to either of them.

Just silence, at first. FOr the next good long moments, while they speak. And green eyes slowly dip down, away from looking at them, as if though just for that moment, eye contact is harder than any other thing in the world.

"...And how do I know?" He asks then. "WHat the truth is?"
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 03:36:30 87573
"Well." Naru starts and then pauses a moment, thoughtful. A little quirk of her head and then she shrugs a touch. "You don't. Not to start. There's choosing who to trust to help you untangle where truth settles. Sometimes you accept that you just don't know, and that's okay too. Sometimes you puzzle it out based on objective information. Sometimes you decide on something as truth and then have to eat crow when you find out you were wrong later." She gives another little shrug.
Kunzite 2017-12-12 03:44:54 87574
Kazuo lifts his hand, glances at the ring he's taken to wearing it. An Infinity class ring, with the sides carved with roses and two words in Latin. Have faith.

"Like the rest of us," he says, quiet, "you come and find out."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 03:56:04 87575
"You make it sound so much easier than it probably is," Alex murmurs with a low sigh flowing out past his lips, his own weight leaning back and to the side to prop himself against the wall the head of the bed is pressed to. "I don't... know if I have it in me, anymore."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 04:00:54 87576
"Honestly?" Naru glances from Alexis and then to Kazuo briefly before back to Alexis. "This part.. the 'omg, I have no clue wtf, I hate everything, I can't do it, I don't want to face my friends'.. that bit? That's the worst. The part where it feels alone and and helpless and confusing and just a heap of not coping and not accepting help. That part sucks."
Kunzite 2017-12-12 04:05:01 87577
"If I thought it were easy," Kazuo says, dry, "Mamoru would not still be giving me visual aids for the process a year and a half later." He lets his hand fall again. "You're right, though. None of us have it in us alone. People who try alone wither. If we lend each other strength, though, and let others lend us a little ... that makes a difference."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 04:15:13 87578
"Right," Alex lets out in another sigh-like sound before he draws himself away from that particular wall he's taken to supporting... with the help of the bed underneath him. THe weights get picked up again, and set down onto the floor, just to make sure they're out of the way when he draws his legs up onto the bedding once more. "I'm just gonna need a moment, I think," he insists, however, before his eyes sweep to Naru. "What did you do with the rock? Norie was asking about it."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 04:20:24 87579
"It hangs out with me." Naru answers with an almost sheepish smile. "Usually downstairs. It's good company while I'm cooking." Because apparently being yelled at in something approximating german is social or something.

Naru reaches into her satchel and emerges with Kriegsfauste out of one of the inside pockets. "It wanted to visit, I think. We're still having some translation issues."
Kunzite 2017-12-12 04:23:10 87580
Kazuo opts to remain quiet for this particular moment. Pushing Alexis is a thing that can sometimes be productive. On one topic at a time, and only if there's a good chance he wants to be pushed. This one would be two. Keeping mouth shut.
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 04:29:29 87581
Cue Alex's brow twitching. Twitch, twitch, twitch.

"...Your conversations were pretty onesided, were they?" He mutters, before his eyes sweep back up to Naru. "I was halfway expecting you to just toss it or something."

Cue Kriegsfauste pulsing red and vocalizing out, "SUBJECT NARU WAR SEHR GASTFREUNLICH."

More Browtwitching from ALex. ":..Right."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 04:33:44 87582
"Not always. Sometimes we managed to sort out what we were each saying. It understands me far better than I understand it." Naru gives Alex an odd look. "Why would I toss it? Its got its own explorations to do, and all of that." She gives another little shrug. "I'd wondered if you wanted it back."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 04:36:51 87583
"I still don't trust it," Alex points out, to which... Kriegsfauste doesn't comment on. If a Device can seem offended, this is probably the best measure of it.

"...It said you were very accomodating," he notes then, in a quiet murmur. "Just for the record."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 04:39:42 87584
"Currently you don't trust a whole lot, including much of your own head." Naru points out pragmatically. "It's still a part of everything, even if you don't trust it. Probably also part of working out that whole truth, or at least part of putting pieces together."

Naru smiles to Kriegsfauste. "Thank you. I really did enjoy having you stay for a visit." Someone seems quite certain that Kriegsfauste isn't staying with her forever.
Kunzite 2017-12-12 04:41:22 87585
"There are other people with Devices that might be compatible," Kazuo says quietly. "It's possible that they may be able to assist you in confirming whether or not you can trust Kriegsfauste. We have seen no evidence that you can't. But I understand that you may be wary of your mother having planted something that Kriegsfauste itself might have difficult detecting."
Stahlritter 2017-12-12 04:47:16 87586
"It's not even just that," Alex insists, head shaking. "That thing was meant for me to use to help with whatever evil nonsense my folks were up to. Everyone keeps telling me that it belongs to me, it's mine, I should use it and whatever else, but-- it just doesn't *feel right*. I just..."

He shakes his head again, and slowly turns himself over on the bed, to facing the wall. "...Leave it on the desk," he mutters. "But if it yells in my ear while I'm trying to sleep, I'm tossing it out the window."
Naru Osaka 2017-12-12 04:51:53 87587
"Of course it doesn't feel right." Naru comments as she pushes herself off from the door frame. "You two don't know each other at all, and it's basically like the most traumatic blind date mixed with an arranged marriage." She moves over to set Kriegsfauste on the desk, giving it an affectionate pat as she leaves it there.

"Besides.. think about the amount of visceral awesome there would be in taking something that was supposed to be used to help your parents, and figuring out how to use it to give them whatfor for being dumbasses. That is a significant level of awesome." Naru hefts her satchel a little further up on her shoulder. "I'm going to go hunt up a coffee." She informs them both and heads out of the room.