A few requests...

Unmei goes to Kun about... some of her problems. Because there's some things even she can't ask him about. But... they decide on a pen for a friend and, almost as important... Where Unmei may find herself in a few years.

Date: 2018-08-18
Pose Count: 34
Unmei Tama 2018-08-18 23:16:13 94861
Unmei Tama was running around her apartment, cleaning everything up. And... "You two, don't you DARE say a word about my plans," she snapped at Pin and Win. "It's just my parents. It's going to be fine."

"We weren't going to..."

"Good! Remember that!" She also had diced up some snacks and had them on the table. She was wearing a white dress and...

She'd used the pen to be herself. and now... she sat and waited, leaning back and closing her eyes. "Pen. College. Yuzu. Safe... ish... subjects."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-18 23:25:45 94864
Kazuo had called in advance to check for a good time to drop by; the knock is not particularly surprising. Neither is the way Kazuo's dressed; his closet must be ninety percent clones of the same outfit, and the accessories almost never vary. His sole concession to the heat is that he's tied his hair back with a black ribbon, like somebody out of a Victorian story or something. "Unmei," he greets when she either comes to the door or lets him let himself in. "Good afternoon. How are you feeling?"
Unmei Tama 2018-08-18 23:29:20 94865
Unmei Tama opened the door and soon... smiled up at him. if her feelings for him weren't so familial, she might have thought he was totally hot and drool worthy. Instead, she motioned him inside. "The AC is on, so it's much cooler in here. I'm doing pretty good," she said as she shut the door and then...

"I made snakes and I need to ask you a rally, really, really big favor! IT's... i mean. It's kind of selfish but... I really want to, no, I need to. It... She's just...." She trailed off.

"I need a transformation pen. For a... friend..."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-18 23:34:14 94867
Kazuo inclines his head to Unmei at the comment about the AC. (Since half the time he is the AC for the boys' place. Supplies him with the power he can't generate himself like most of the magical girls and boys of the city can -- and keeps the electrical bills down.)

"You made snakes?" Kazuo repeats first, giving her a faintly confused look. She doesn't appear to be transformed at the moment. Isn't that how she usually makes things? Er...

Then the actual question comes out, and Kazuo shakes his head a little. Not a no. Not exactly. "I'm not the one who can say yes or no to that, or do anything about it," he says. "It's not in our knowledge or power to construct them; I don't know how difficult it is, or how often it can be done. We might be able to put people in touch with your friend, so they can decide or send people to decide whether they're willing to do it. If your friend is willing to let us know who they are."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-18 23:38:02 94868
Unmei Tama blinked and flushed. "S-snacks! I made snacks! Not snacks!" She was rocking back and forth in her seat. Gosh, she was nervous. "And... it's... for a friend. she's a.... a magical girl. Too. And she's like me. Except... Well... she transforms and is right. But,... but when she's not transformed she's a boy and..." She took a deep breath.

"If... they need... my pen to do it... I'll give it up. I still have the clotho gem... when it's fixed... So... so I'll be fine if I... need to be. But she won't. She's not fine. And she really needs it. She didn't really say I could tell peoiple but... she's really nice. And cool. Just... talk to the people, please? And I want to help her. Please?" she asked softly. "Can you talk to your people about it?"
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-18 23:41:03 94869
"Ah. It's possible I may know to whom you're referring. Unless, of course, there's more than one person in that predicament, in which case ..." Kunzite trails off, frowning downward for a moment. Not at Unmei. Not ever at Unmei, about that.

"I'll see what I can do," he says at last. "I can't make any promises; I can't bind people who don't report to me." And let's face it. One of the people who reports to him is Neil. He can't even bind people who do report to him. "But that is not a situation anyone should have to be trapped in."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-18 23:45:10 94870
Unmei Tama shudder. "Oh gosh I hope not, no would should EVER have to be like this. I swear sometimes I wake up in the morning and I still want to... err. You know what? That's not important. IF you can help, then... Thank you. That's all i want. Now, ummm..." She trailed off.

"So, err, Yuzu and I broke up, so it's okay. It was mutual. Just we're not looking for the same things."

Quickly change the subject! "So I've been thinking about what I'll do after school!"
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-18 23:48:54 94873
Kazuo inclines his head quietly toward the comment about Yuzu, and his answer after her subject change is, "I'd been wondering when that might happen. You both seemed to be good friends, but you both seemed to be more interested in having a girlfriend than in having the other as a girlfriend. That sort of thing can last a while, but it's better when it doesn't last forever. And best when it's mutual in a way that retains the 'good friends' part, if it can."

He paces over and takes a seat before he addresses the actual subject change. "I take it you mean after high school, rather than considering joining a different club?"
Unmei Tama 2018-08-18 23:55:25 94874
Unmei Tama sighed. Then smiled. "Yeah. She's great. I... kinda wanna be like her. But... I don't... always... enjoy my time with her. I don't always... IT's like... The difference between being giddy they're coming over and... wondering when they'll leave so you can get back to what you were doing. I... Honestly think I like her more as just a friend?" she mumbled. "Granted, she's the only one who's ever had any interest in me that way so... Maybe I'm making a mistake..." she mumbled, then shook her head. "I'm not... am I?"

"And... Yeah... College or ummm... continuing on into... a job..."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-18 23:59:42 94877
Kazuo's eyebrows lift. "Unmei," he says. "You met Yuzu relatively quickly after you were finally able to live as yourself. Before you were able to live as yourself, you were, for excellent reasons, too off-balance to be able to evaluate others' interest, let alone be a good target for it. Since then, you have been very visibly in a relationship. When has there ever been time for anyone else to show interest?"

He folds his hands then, studying, not Unmei herself, but Unmei's own hands. "Future plans are a good thing to think about. Particularly here, where so much of the basis for them revolves around a small handful of factors. Do you have any idea what you would want to do, yet? And if what you would want to do is something in which a large number of people compete for a small number of jobs, do you have any idea for a fallback that would at least not make you unhappy?"
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 00:06:57 94879
Unmei Tama flushed and glanced off to the side. "Y-yeah... but before I... I guess I was... a boy then so not a good point of reference... Heh... Who knows? Maybe all kinds of people will decide I'm dateable... what do you think? Am I a ca-- Actually, don't answer that. I realllllly don't think I'd want to hear that from you. I mean, you're great, just... you know... I mean..." She coughed. "Nevermind. Moving on."

She nodded. "I don't know. Honestly? I figured my parents would have had a job set for me by now. Then there was eclipse. Heck, I figured I'd be dead by now. I didn't think I'd actually have a chance to MAKE the choice. And now I do and I'm just..."

"I wanted to be a nurse for a little bit but... I don't know. I mean... Being a nurse is cool, but I don't think I'm that smart. Maybe something in engineering. That might be fun but..."

"... The longer I go to school... the more money of Mamo's I'll be using..." she mumbled.
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 00:11:29 94882
"I think you will attract attention from the kind of people you'd like to," Kazuo answers, whether or not Unmei wants him to. "Possibly not yet -- but you're increasing in stability over time, and some of the instability is related primarily to being young. That's a problem that everyone has. You're successfully getting your feet under you; that's a good beginning."

He cocks his head to one side at that mumbled addition. "I'm retaking two years I already had," he says. "I understand the discomfort. I hear that in America, schools accept credits from other schools. That's not always the case here. Not even from other disciplines in the same school. So it's best to think carefully about your choices. What was it about being a nurse that interested you? What about being an engineer?"
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 00:19:14 94885
Unmei Tama sighed and hugged her knees to her chest. "I... guess... I wanted to help people as a nurse. I thought... I could be kind of like you guys..." she mumbled. "But I also... I..." she whispered. She then closed her eyes. "I don't know. Engineering makes you a lot of money? I don't... I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I'd be GOOD at. I mean, I'm not... I.."

"I feel I can do anything, but I don't know what I want to do. And every day I don't know makes it feel like everything is closing. Like more and more doors are slamming in my face. That if I don't pick, I'll end up being a useless mooch forever..."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 00:23:41 94887
"Then the problem is that you're trying to answer the wrong question," Kazuo says. This is something Unmei's heard him tell other people before. It's never been a reprimand. "You're trying to answer 'what will I do?'. But you don't have the information you need to answer that question; so it is only natural that you can't find an answer, and that the inability dismays you. The information you need is 'What am I suited to do? What things can sustain my interest? Where do my strengths lie? What are my weaknesses, and what strengths do they indicate I have that I am not considering?' Once you have that, that will help you to answer the rest."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 00:26:42 94888
Unmei Tama sighed, nodding. "But I'm not like... suited for anything! I mean, I'm okay. I'm passable at like... everything!" she mumbled. "I don't know how much of that is like... me, and how much of that is the 'potential' of my new abilities. I don't know what will sustain my interest. The only things I've ever liked enough were magical girls and being a, well, girl. But... it's just like being a magical girl. I'm not actually GOOD at anything."

"I'm just... passable. I'm just 'good enough', at best... I guess my weaknesses would be this. I'm indecisive. I'm not... I'd make a horrible therapist... heh..."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 00:32:46 94892
"Being indecisive," Kazuo says, "means that things matter to you. That's more than many people can say." He studies Unmei for a moment. "What is it you liked about magical girls, before you became one? After all. You could have been fascinated by any kind of girl: singers, fashion designers, politicians, scientists, businesswomen. But you were interested in magical girls. Why?"
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 00:38:12 94893
Unmei Tama blinked a few times. "Why... ummmm..." She closed her eyes and thought about it. She was silent for a while. She imagined the first one. The second one. The third. Then sighed. "I'm so selfish..." she muttered.

"I liked that they wore such beautiful outfits. That they got to run around in them and people looked up to them. Admired them. That they were brave, and strong. That they helped people. That they were... special..." shem umbled softly.

"I'm the worst magical girl ever... all I care about is myself..."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 00:46:18 94895
"All you care about is not yourself," Kazuo says. "Or you wouldn't put yourself at risk to help people. Which you do. And it is, as always, not merely permissible but necessary to care about yourself -- or else you wouldn't survive to be able to help people."

He's quiet for a moment. "Nursing you've discussed. There are other medical careers that help people. Physical therapist; occupational therapist. There are nonmedical options. Social workers. Community health workers. Teachers. Programmers. Emergency personnel -- either on the ground, or dispatchers and coordinators. Civil engineers."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 00:52:49 94896
Unmei Tama blinked a few times and then, slowly, looked up. "I... That..." she trailed off. "I don't... Really put myself at that much risk, though. My magic is strong enough. I never fight anything too strong. And when I do, I usually get help. And... I guess..."

"... I couldn't be a social worker. I'd... be broken... Having to deal with that. Besides, social workers don't..."

She shook her head and then smiled. "Do you think I could actually be a... teacher? Like... I'd be... good at it?"
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 00:56:13 94898
"Social workers don't what?" Kazuo prods. "That's an important sentence to finish, Unmei." Apparently, before he'll answer her question.
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 01:01:47 94900
Unmei Tama sighed. "Do much. I mean, I met one once when I was with my parents. They just asked a bunch of questions, then told them to my parents and I got yelled at a lot," she mumbled. "Apparently I was a problem child," she muttered. "Though... I did join eclipse so maybe they were right..."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 01:04:45 94901
"In theory, they do a great deal. In practice, they're limited by rules, by funding, and by the adults they have to work with. So it varies." Kazuo studies Unmei for a lingering moment. "I think you could be a teacher. I think, if you worked at it, you'd be good at it. There are things you'd have to unlearn, which is never easy. But you understand from the gut what it's like to be a child who needs help. You recognize other people in that situation. And you try to help them. That above all else is what the best teachers do."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 01:10:06 94903
Unmei Tama nodded. "Well.. Yeah... when you're upset or stuff it's not usually that hard to notice. Especially with kids. they're pretty easy to notice. But then... It did take me to notice Miho was like me, and now that I think about it, I do kind of miss the obvious sometimes and... What... about Mamo?" she asked softly.

"Wouldn't it be better for me to... go to work? Now, I mean? I mean, since... I could make more money just going to school. And teachers don't even get paid much. Wouldn't it be better if I just... stopped and started working so I could pay mamo back?"
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 01:14:50 94905
"Unmei," Kazuo says quietly. There he goes again. Names as one-word sentences, almost always meaning 'you are working from an incorrect assumption.' "Have you ever heard Mamoru say anything about being paid back?"
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 01:18:19 94907
Unmei Tama lowered her eyes and shook her head. "Well... no... But... I can't just keep doing this... I mean I'm not..." Like you. Family. Close. Valuable. So many words flowed into her mind before, FINALLY, she chose one.

"Valuable. I can't give him any... payback and get a job. And like... I could die at any time. If I did I never could pay him back..."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 01:25:53 94910
"Of course you are valuable." Kazuo sounds, if anything, mildly surprised. "And Mamoru has not asked to be paid back. And would not ask. What he is doing is in part what your parents should have been doing -- taking up the responsibility they dropped. And in part, it is a form of investment in the future. Not a monetary investment. But trusting that, given support, you will find a good path for yourself, and that given the kind of person you've shown yourself to be, that path will on balance be good for the people around you and for the world. Crippling your ability to find that path in the long term would be, quite literally, the opposite of what he'd want. He doesn't want money, Unmei. He wants you to heal, and grow, and in time perhaps help others to do the same in their own ways."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 01:31:16 94912
Unmei Tama sighed and nodded. "I... but why...? I'm not family. My own family didn't care. My second family wouldn't care... and I'm not family... I'm just a strange girl you guys picked off the road..." Then groaned. "No, worse than that. A strange girl who came begging you for help and then for some reason you did..." she mumbled. "I..."

Then she shook her head. "You're right. I'm sorry. You're right. I'll go to college. I'll find that path. I'll start looking into scholarships, okay?" That was... sudden...
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 01:38:18 94916
They've had this conversation before. They will, undoubtedly, have it again. As many times as necessary. "Because," he says quietly, "at a time when you had vast pressure on you to do anything else -- you still tried to do better. You still are trying to do better. That's not a small thing. It never will be."

Kazuo leaned forward, sometime in that conversation; now he straightens up again. "I'll look into better ways to find things you might like to do, and might be good at. In terms of inclination rather than in terms of skill. Who knows? Odds are good that university might be best -- but it's still possible that something else might be better. If we can find someone who's good at these things to work with you on figuring it out, that might be best of all."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 01:44:32 94917
Unmei Tama nodded and then mumbled softly. "Not good enough for... Nevermind. Though... I ummm... I'm friends with Lacrima now. And... I told her what you said. About me. Before. That... even if I do small bad things... when important things come up... I do the right thing. And... and I think... it really helped her, too. So ummm... thanks. She's not as scary as i thought she was..."

"Thank you, Kun. If... if nothing else. No matter how many stupid or dumb things I do... or whenever I mess up... I know I can at least turn to you for some help. It's... really nice having that safety net..." she mumbled.

"... So... now that Mamo is back... how is everyone doing? Happier?"
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 02:07:03 94929
'Not good enough for' gets Unmei a look that's ... not reproving, not quite. Only the 'and what conversation did we have about putting yourself down that way?' one. Kazuo doesn't pull that one out into the open, though. "I'm glad you're becoming friends with Lacrima. Some of us are fond of her. She has more than her share of troubles, too. But she tries."

He turns a hand over, holds it out to her palm-up. "People need other people," he says. "We aren't made to exist alone. All of us need help, sometimes. Thank you for being there when Mamoru needed it." A pause. "And yes, it's a considerable relief to have him both back in his body and back with his powers. He's not the only healer we know, but healers have their advantages and disadvantages and specialty areas like everyone else. It's good to have his covered again."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 02:12:47 94933
Unmei Tama nodded. "Yeah. She's kind of silly and... interesting. Heh. It feels weird. She's like... Not what I thought a vampire would... could be like. But it's not bad. No. She's never bad. She's just..."

"Damaged. I guess. She's kind of cute, in a way. I wanna give her a hug and tell her it'll be okay sometimes," she said with a laugh. Then blinked. "When he need... But I didn't really do anything. I was just like... there. I mean, I tried. But my magic was really like... pathetic, comparatively. To what you or the others could do. I don't think I really helped much at all. And yerah. He's unique, really unique and special."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 02:16:08 94935
"Unmei," Kazuo says evenly. "Please stop taking every opportunity to put yourself down. I realize that it's simply your mind trying to substitute for your family, since they aren't here. But it's not a substitution you need, and not one that's good for you."
Unmei Tama 2018-08-19 02:20:43 94938
Unmei Tama blinked a few times. "Do I really put myself down that much?"

"Oh my gosh, constantly," Pin added.

"While I do believe being humble is an excellent virtue, there is a fine line between being humble and self depricating," Win added. "And you cross it quite often."

Unmei just stared at her birds. "Holy crud you two agreed on something. That's like, the second time. Ever."
Kazuo Takeba 2018-08-19 02:22:32 94939
Kazuo says nothing whatsoever. He might possibly be inspecting the ceiling. Except that if she missed any cobwebs, he doesn't say a word.