No Title Set

Date: 2018-08-29
Pose Count: 32
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 17:27:25 96423
    It had been a few months and Madoka was settled back into life at Infinity University. Being gone two weeks and returning to find a year and a half had passed for the rest of the world meant she was hideously far behind the other students. ...again. This time catching up just wasn't possible, or wasn't worth the effort, and she'd been held back a grade.

    Which still meant she had to very quickly catch up on six months worth of Infinity level classes. It was a pain in the neck and took a lot of time and effort, but with the right tutors it was at least possible. Now she was at least not constantly panicking about being so far behind in classes that she didn't understand what was being taught, but that also meant her mind was a bit more free to think about other things.

    There had been something on her mind the last few days, ever since she'd helped confront the Storm card. She really had no idea what it was all about, but seeing Sakura Kinomoto standing up to Riventon and burning out her energy reserves had moved her. The passion of the young Cardcaptor to stand up to such incredible strength of both the dark energy inundated mage and the intense magical storm at the same time was undeniable- anyone without powerful force of will and motivation would have broke and ran.

    Madoka had been thinking about it throughout her Crafts club and had admittedly not gotten very much done. In the end she had done little more than doodle sketches in her art book about nothing in particular. Now she was walking down the halls of Infinity deep in thought, passing by the Chemistry Labs. She remembers the day vividly, the icy rain pelting her as Black Sakura forced her attention away, yearning to be able to help the girl more. She remembers watching the girl standing up to Riventon in her Pajamas, trying to use one of those cards of hers to root him in place only to expend the very last reserves of her energy.

    That's what really got to her, what made her heart break. She didn't know the true significance of the Clow Cards to Sakura, but one thing she could intrinsically understand was willing something so powerfully, wanting something so intensely... and yet not having the strength to see it out. She worried for the girl, both for her physical safety and her emotional health. The first part was silly and Madoka knew it; she'd taken the girl to Mamoru and knew he wouldn't send her off without making sure she was healthy, and as much as she'd exhausted herself she wasn't physically harmed.

    Her mental state, however? Madoka had no idea had taken her loss. If it had been a simple matter of little significance it wouldn't bother Madoka so much, but it was clear to her that Sakura had been pouring her heart out into trying to capture that card. She wanted to go see how the girl was doing, but at the same time felt like doing so might be intrusive. Though it didn't show much on her face her stomach was doing flipflops worrying about such a young girl potentially having her hopes dashed in such a way.

    It wasn't fair to pit her against such a powerful force of evil, for that is how she saw Riventon. Worst of all was that it was clear they would be facing off again. It made Madoka almost sick with worry to think about her fighting him again alone. She didn't for a second doubt Sakura's strength of will or tenacity, but Riventon had so very many tools and an incredible overabundance of dark energy to call upon. Remembering him standing over Sakura with that scythe raised causes a pang of worry in her strong enough to reach down and hold her stomach for a moment.

    He had been in control enough to stop himself then, to be more Takashi and less Riventon, but what if the darkness within him won out? For a moment there's an incredibly powerful urge to forget everything in the moment, transform, and rush off to protect the girl. Strong enough to almost completely overwhelm her senses. That girl- she shouldn't have to face that kind of thing alone! Everybody needed friends, even the very strongest. And if not for herself and Homura she really would have been alone, there on that battlefield, standing against Riventon, Lacrima, and The Storm.

    Intense yearning, the incredible desire to help. The fear of what might happen to a young girl stacked up against such odds- sometimes even death isn't the worst outcome.

    And yet Madoka is simply walking down the hallway again, briefly closing her eyes and getting ahold of herself as her emotions go crazy. Because for her? All of this is completely normal. It's just another day in the life of being a Magical Girl.

    'If things really do get bad I can help.'

    That thought is the soothing one, the one that makes all the other's bearable.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 17:37:10 96424
Masu Yogoshi was very precise. Heck, she was probably one of the safest chemists around. More importantly, she was focused. Her barriers were up and she was managing to filter out the worst of emotions. Sure, she knew two of the club members were only in the class because they were morr interested in trying to make kissy faces at each other, and she knew another one was jealous she wasn't the club leader, and the leader himself was worried that he had chosen the wrong project...

But she was good. Especially after her last... Accident. So when that sudden surge of raw primal emotion almost overwhelmed her, shattering her walls, and she dropped the empty vial on the floor and nearly fell over, she drew a lot of looks. It was like being lost in a storm. Overwhelming. Almost painful. "F-fine. H-headache," she said weakly. "Going... Going to the nurse's office..." She didn't really have friends, so they just gave her worried looks rather than trying to help. One move forwsrd to pick up her mess.

Once she was out in the mostly empty halls, she moved to the sidr... And slid to the ground, leaning on the wall.

Her walls had been shattered and now EVERYTHING was getting in. The school wasn't as busy as it could normally be, but... It was still a school. Her head burned, trying to process as she struggled to rebuild her walls. But every step was hindered again and again, that just... Battering ram of emotion making it crumble.

Worry? Hope? Fear? Protectiveness? The worst thing was the flurry that were all rising up, a storm battering against the inside of her head as she gripped it and tried to block it out. Normally she'd have tried to block it out amd keep her calm enough to get away from people.

But this was too much. She couldn't contain it. She almost considered using dark energy. Escaping. But evem like this she knew that would likely kill her. And possibly everyone in the school. This was a storm she had to ride out until ot ended.

But it was so much. She felt she might hurl as she clutched her head and whimpered, her entire bdoy tense and breaking out in a cold sweat.
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 17:52:22 96425
    She could help if things got bad. She should help if things got bad.

    More importantly, Madoka would, offer her support to Sakura, even if it wasn't accepted. That was probably the key, she realized. Just knowing that other people cared for you and supported you, sometimes that was enough to help people get through their toughest times.

    So was having another potential phone number to call if help was required.

    Not that resolving to help made Madoka's worries any less real, but having some kind of plan of action turned some of that worry into resolve, even if she felt it wasn't as much as she'd like to do.

    "Oh my gosh!" comes the sudden exclamation from Madoka as she just starts to come out of her reverie, only to see Masu staggering in the hallway in front of her. Suddenly there's worry and panic again, an intense spike of it that this time isn't held back by Madoka, but embraced. She rushes forward, going to Masu's side and trying to help steady the other girl by holding onto her shoulders as she clutches her head.

    "Are you alright?" Madoka asks with wide, expressive pink eyes filled with worry and compassion. "We should get you to the Nurse's Office right away!"

    Seeing someone hurting, in such pain was awful. Like a sharp, ripping pain inside her gut. Once upon a time it would have momentarily stunned her, but these days she was more likely to instantly react and move to help. While trying to steady Masu with one arm she reaches into her pocket and retrieves a handkerchief, dabbing away the sweat on her forehead.

    "What's wrong? Do you have a fever?" she asks, going into a sort of triage mode. Once again her worry is still there, but her training as a candy striper at Mitakihara General kicks in and she starts trying to figure out what's wrong so she can better aid her ailing schoolmate.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 18:10:35 96427
Masu Yogoshi would have been far better if the other girl had been stunned. Instead... Mkre chaos. Worry. She saw the girl come closer. "H-hell..." She groaned. "How... In the hell d-do you function?" She croaked out. It hurt. It was so strong. So powerful. And now the source. "I'm... I'm fine. Wait, do--"

But it was too late. The other girl tried to help. The other girl touched her. And Masu went completely still. The empathic link was too strong and it erupted in masu. Before... It might have made her faint. But now?

She could feel the dark energy inside her body reacting. Growing. Gnawing st her from the inside. When the napkin was put to her lips, she she almost threw up into it, trying to release some of this pain. Only blood came out.

She was going to die. From an emotional overload. This girl was going to kill her. Tears from the pain welled in her eyes and then... She grabbed the girl by her shoulders and slammed her back into the wall. While the girl was pushed therr, her hand reached out to cover her mouth.

"Please... C-calm down..." Despite the oddly threatening movements, and the hand... Masu was crying and a bit of blood leaked down from her mouth. "Please... Stop... W-worrying..." She pleaded. Her hand shook and it would be easy to shove masu off, with the pain nearly breaking her down.

She looked like she was in agony. Hell, she looked like she was dying. "Y-you're... K-killing... Me...." She choked out. Before her hand fell away and she fell to her knees with a whimper, unable to stand for the pain.
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 18:33:26 96428
    "No, you're clearly not!" Madoka replies with a quick shake of her head, pink twintails brushing frantically against her cheeks. She doesn't understand what the other girl is talking about, or why she'd try to refuse help when she so clearly requires it.

    The touch of the handkerchief to the lips coming away with blood inspires a moment of pure panic in Madoka. This time she does get stunned- Masu was holding her head, not her stomach. Internal bleeding in the head is unbelievably bad news. There's no way this was something as simple as a biting of the tongue. Even if it was horrible tooth pain to see such pain and blood might mean a life threatening injury.

    There's no time to wait to get to the Nurse's Office, Madoka decides. She has to act now. Her left hand, on Masu's shoulder, glows pink, the light emanating from the Soul Gem Ring worn on her middle finger, healing magic pouring into Masu and suffusing her. It's somewhat taxing and for Madoka not incredibly efficient so she doesn't go overboard on it, but rather tries to take whatever internal damage is done from life threatening to stable before a better option can be found.

    And then she's slammed into the wall, her eyes widening in surprise, not knowing quite what to do. That worry is still there, mixed with her shock, looking extremely confused as Masu tells her to calm down. "...but your hurt! You need help! Please, I know people who can help you. Even better than I can!"

    Madoka doesn't try to push Masu away, but does reach out to try to heal her again as the blood leaked out of the girls mouth, only to look even more confused as she's told that she's killing the girl. Her head shakes, "I...! I don't understand!"
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 18:43:46 96429
Masu Yogoshi whimpered. She felt the dark energy tear something... Then... Get healed? She was vaguely aware of the feeling of being healed. She'd sensed it before. Stopping it...

Magic? But the eorry didn't subside. Finally..."E-empath... Em... P-path... I feel... What... What you f-,feel..." She choked, coughing more blood. Everything hurt, burned. It felt like her head was exploding.

A part of her, for just a moment, considered stabbing the girl. She couldn't feel if she eas--

No. No no. No no no... She tried to bury the dark thoughts. Even if she was a killer, the idea of feeling someone likr that... To feel that kind kf suffering, made her want to throw up even more.
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 18:57:01 96430

    Madoka's eyes widen and she slips away from Masu and jumps back as if the floor around the other girl was lava.

    "Ohmygosh! I'm so sorry-- I didn't..!" Another sudden surge of emotion starts to rise up, but suddenly shrinks and plateaus at a much more reasonable level.

    "Uuuugh..." Madoka mumbles, the light in her eyes almost completely faded. She trips, stumbling against the wall and leaning against it, sliding down to the floor. Her motions are all very strange now, looking something like a puppet with a drunken puppet master, it's strings all tangled and confused.

    Puella souls are not in their bodies, and pain is always somewhat muted for them. But they can also, on purpose, cause additional degrees of separation between their soul and their body to mute the pain even further. Madoka is, in a panic, pushing this to an extreme. Cutting herself off almost entirely so that it isn't just pain but most of her mind. Her reactions are terribly slow and her strength pathetic. She has no experience at such a high degree of separation, but her instincts were correct.

    Masu might feel something very strange- Madoka's emotion is still there, but it's now detectably emanating from the ring on her finger rather than her brain. Her mind is so disconnected from it that the emotion she feels causes no further chemical reactions to occur, and those that are already happening not to affect her.

    Of course this also renders her body practically a zombie.'s probably a good thing Sayaka isn't around.

    "" Even her head is simply resting half limp against the wall.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 19:07:20 96434
Masu Yogoshi coughed as she tried to clear her head. Ouch. It all just...

And then it was mercifully over. Withoit the battering ram, her shields sprung up. Not as strong as they could be, but... Enough. Enough to regather herself and calm the dark energy inside her.

She took a deep breath, shakily getting to her knees... Then falling back down. Well... If madoka thought about it, if she recognized this girl... She'd been in the hospital recently. Now madoka might have an idea why. Also, an empath in the hospital. Thst... Had to be something else.

She then glancrd to the girl, slowly regaining herself. "How... In the world.... Do you function? It felt like i was in a storm..." She whispered. Slowly she grabbed the wall and clawed her way back up... Only to fall back down a third time. Looks like she'd be resting a bit. She was just thankful she'd been too hurt yo scream, otherwise they might have been swarmed woth more.

"So... What... Are you?" She asked softly. "I've only met one person who could.... Block me. And... It's not coming from you now. So it's... A different trick... Right?" She mumbled. "You're... A healer like him.... Aren't you?" She wiped more blood on the napkin. "Thank you. But... I feel better now. I'm... Fine..." She was still rasping for air, and her whole body was shaking as if she was in a blizzard.
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 19:20:38 96442
    The thing about being able to cut herself off from her body isn't that her emotions were necessarily weaker, but that without the teenage chemical component she was much better able to moderate and control them. Besides that what she wanted to do most was to help, and if not feeling that intense desire was what would actually do the helping? Well, that made it obvious.

    " help," Madoka replies to how she deals with her emotions. By acting on them. Now that she's had a few moments without the panic another emotion emerges: guilt. Because what happened to Masu was almost certainly entirely her fault. Luckily this too she's able to keep down to lower levels- knowing it would cause harm to someone makes that a bit easier.

    Very slowly she eases up on shunting her soul further from her body. As she was she'd been almost entirely nonfunctional, barely able to understand the questions asked of her, let alone respond. She shifts around, turning so her back is against the wall, fighting through the fog in her mind. "I'm a Puella Magi. I can disconnect... my soul from my body." Technically speaking her soul already is disconnected, but she doesn't know the words to explain it much better than that. She at least feels free sharing that much, since an empath would almost certainly be magical themselves.

    Her head shakes a little, "I'm not a healer, but I can heal. All Puella can. Fighting is... very dangerous." She's still speaking slowly herself because of how much slower she's thinking than normally and the fact she's being very careful about not letting her emotions get away from her again. "I'm sorry. I didn't know my feelings ... could injure people."
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 19:40:21 96446
Masu Yogoshi eyed her for a long moment. Then she sighed. "There was no way you could have possibly known. I work very hard to distance myself from others so... This... Doesn't happen." Finally, she managed to crawl to her feet and stay up. "I enact barriers to ensure that i do not feel the... Run off from others. Whatever has you so upset, so worried, must be very important to you. And there is nothing you should feel bad for. This is not your fault."

She took a slow, steadying breath. "When you knew the situation, you were able to react accordingly. Most could not. I do appreciate that." She kept the tone kf her voice calm. Almost empty. The whole time. As if she felt nothing. But madoka would know that was untrue. She felt nothing.

"i... Am not a fighter. I am afraid my empathy is the only ability i have. And I've only ever met one other, and i believe he was better at shielding than i. So i do not believe my abilities are conmon enough for you to have predicted this. So please cease your worry. I am fine. The pain has mostly faded now." She walked, nervously... To the girl and offered a hand to help her up. ".... I am sorry."
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 19:52:06 96450
    Mental barriers. It makes sense. Were her emotions so powerful to get past something like that? Having lived with her own feelings her entire life and having spent so much time around emotional people in recent years it makes her wonder. She'll have to take Masu's word for it.

    When she's told she was able to react accordingly Madoka manages something of a smile. "Wasn't sure it would work... Had to try." Little by little she lets herself reconnect with her body. The physical, chemical emotions kick back in but with the danger over the panic is gone. There's even a bit of relief that Masu looks like she's going to be alright, but it's still mingling with guilt even despite the reassuring words.

    "I only know one other Empath, but I don't think it's a problem for him unless he's touched. I'm sorry for that, for touching you- that must have made it so much worse." The freezing in place, she understands it now. Now there's sympathy, gentle and genuine. Madoka accepts Masu's hand and gets back to her feet, "You don't have to be sorry. You should never have to say sorry for being who you are."

    It isn't what one would call a struggle, but the pink-haired girl is still doing her best to keep her emotions in check, both the positive and the negative. "Um... I'm Madoka Kaname. I feel badly about the circumstances, but it's nice to meet you."
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 20:07:04 96456
Masu Yogoshi nodded, giving a rather... Restrained smile kf her own. "Masu Yogoshi. A... Pleasure to meet you," she said. Then... "All if you can heal. Then? You puella?" She asked. "... I wonder if they are puella. Perhaps that boy i met is one... It would explain a lot," she mumbled. "Magi... Are you supposed to be some kind of witch, then?" She asked softly.

".... I'm sorry if that is rude. I have been an empath my whole life. Bit i have only.... Recently discovered that there are those with far greater gifts. I cannot help being a little curious."

She did pause and glance around. "Would you mond if we retrea-- moved to the roof? I would like to learn more but... It is very... Loud here."

"I would love to know about your healing gift. How does it work? And what do you mean by 'fight'? Who do you fight?"
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 20:18:07 96458
    "We probably wouldn't last very long if we couldn't repair out bodies. Some of us are a lot better than others though. Um..." Madoka shakes her head a little, "Boys can't be Puella Magi. Unless maybe a girl wished to become a boy?" She looks momentarily confused, "I can explain a little more, but it's very complex. There... aren't very many Puella Magi around anymore, either."

    She bites her bottom lip, wondering how much she should say. Dumping so much information on someone who knows very little about the magical world, and especially about Puella Magi.'s something that's broken the minds of otherwise resilient people in the past. Or at least in past timelines.

    "Yes, the roof is fine. It's much safer to talk about things best not overheard there as well." As for the person she's speaking of Madoka asks, "The person you met before, is he, um- does he have eyes the color of beautiful oceans and an energy about him like soothing golden amber?" Not that Mamoru does very much of anything to hide his identity from the magical world if at all, but if Homura has taught her anything it's that discretion is required in talking about magic.

    "I'll answer your questions, but lets wait until we're sure we're alone, okay? It's best not to talk about these things in public." She can just imagine some poor nonmagical person bombarding Masu with confusion or worse, fear.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 20:35:17 96462
Masu Yogoshi couldn't help but agree. "Ah. So you have met him, then. Him and some others they... Discovered my talent quote by accident. I was over whelmed, juat not to this intensity. And i didn't have my barriers up," she said as she walked. "And boys cannot? That... Seems silly," she said flatly. "But then, i suppose this is another strange science i do not understand. I am sure there is some reason for it."

She was silent from then on as they walked to the roof until they were at the top and... "You mentioned fighting. And how there are not many of you. I... Take it, there was a war of some kind?" She asked, blinking a few times. "That, or you are some warrior set to exterminate man kind from alien forces, and your brethren have all fallen." Beat. "You so strike me as the stone cold killer type," she said flatly.

"you still feel guilt, don't you? I am fine. If i was in pain, i would tell you. There is no reason to lie to you. And while it was an incredibly painful experience, it was nothing you intended to do. And to hold guilt or anger over something that no one intended is a waste of both of our time and energy."
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 20:54:20 96467
    Madoka nods a little, "I have. He's a very good friend of mine. He helped me when I moved back to Tokyo- I was so overwhelmed back then." The memory of feeling lost and alone is completely muffled by the kinship and friendship she feels towards Mamoru, any negativity it might hold is completely washed out by the fact someone like Mamoru was there to help her cope.

    "Eheheh..." A nervous laugh is all Madoka gives until they're on the roof. "Well... we're given the offer to become a Puella Magi by an alien known as Kyubey. One way he chooses people is based on their capacity for emotion, and he claims," she sounds somewhat dubious on this part, "that this is highest in adolescent girls."

    There's a brief pang of sorrow as more information about the small number of Puella Magi are mentioned, "It isn't fighting that killed so many of us. It was more... starvation. The creatures we fight are called Witches, and when they're destroyed they sometimes leave behind a Grief Seed that lets us replenish our magic. The thing is, our magic doesn't replenish naturally like most other magical heroes. And if we run out, we die. A while back there were no Witches for a very long time. I can't say for sure how many Puella Magi survived, but it could only have been the ones who already knew how to be very careful about their magical reserves, or had a large stockpile of Grief Seeds."

    She takes in a breath and lets it out slowly, shaking her head. "Witches are terrifying creatures." She looks towards Masu with sudden urgency, pleading with her. "If you ever come upon a Witch you must leave immediately. You must. They're creatures that can only despair, and are so consumed by it that they lash out and curse the world and people around them. If you were exposed to that kind of emotion it would be horrible for you, especially if there were others around you affected by it."

    A soft sigh, "They're also incredibly powerful, and vicious. They don't hesitate to kill if they get the chance. Most Puella Magi... their lives are very short." And for all that Madoka can't stop the sympathy she feels talking about this. Not only for the Puella Magi, but for the Witches too.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 21:11:03 96470
Masu Yogoshi blinked. "Helped you when... You felt overwhelmed? That sounds like him. He helped me to bring up a barrier to shiekd myself. Before that i... Thought i was the only one with my particular... Talents," she mumbled.

"So you are given this... Ability by this 'kyubey' and in return... You either die or starvation, or die fighting horrifying witches?" She asked flatly.

"Why would you accept such a thing? What do you get out of it?" She asked. "I suspect... You're hiding things from me. But... If i am to properly protect myself from such things, these witches and this... Kyubey, should i not know exactly what it is I'm dealing with?"

She then sighed. "And here i thought empathy was as strange an ability as there is... And you need not fear me fighting such things. I have no abilities to fight. If i encountered such a monster, i would flee. To do else would be suicide."
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-29 21:24:00 96475
    Madoka nods, "Mamoru-kun is a very kind person. He's helped a lot of people when they've needed it, not just me. I'm glad he was able to help you too, Masu-chan."

    More slightly nervous laughter from Madoka, "I knew what I was getting myself into. I have friends who are Puella Magi, including my very best friend, Homura-chan." She lets out a little sigh, "The truth is, when me makes a contract with you he grants you a wish. It can be almost anything, even things that should be impossible. For most people the promise of that wish is enough and they make the contract without thinking through how dangerous and scary being a Puella Magi can be."

    Madoka holds up one hand and smiles apologetically, "You're going to want to ask what I wished for, but I'm afraid I can't tell you that. It's very personal." As for knowing what she's dealing with? "You shouldn't deal with Kyubey. He doesn't lie directly, but he withholds the full truth and tricks people to get what he wants. Since you're an Empath you might understand what this means more than most, but he doesn't feel or entirely understand emotions." A short pause, "He does seem to know how to manipulate them sometimes, though." She lets out a sigh. Even thinking about Kyubey can be stressful.

    Madoka nods a little, "There are a whole lot of magical people around, and Puella Magi are just one type. Don't sorry though, Puella Magi exist to fight and destroy Witches. Hopefully if you ever do run into a Witch one of us will quickly be there to stop it before it can hurt you."

    She looks away for a moment, off towards Mitakihara's skyline, "I wanted to be a Puella Magi for a very long time because it meant I could protect people from Witches. People tried to warn me of what it would mean- and they were right. But for me protecting the people I care about and those who can't protect themselves is more important. That's what being a magical girl is all about."
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-29 21:56:51 96484
Masu Yogoshi nodded. "I... see. You were friends with others. By that nature, I suppose i may become one, no?" she joked. Then urked. "That... was a way of... asking to be your friend. In horrible taste. My apologies," she said with an awkward cough, her cheeks burning a little red. "You just... know about my abilities are do not see me as a freak so... I thought it would be... worth making the ofer."

She sheepishly glanced to the face, trying to look calm and stone faced, though the redness in her cheeks gave her embarassment away. Though her eyes widened slightly at that.

"A... wish? Any wish?" she asked, suddenly interested as she rubbed her chin. Wait, was she actually thinking about it?! She then shook her head. "No. Even if he could perform almost any wish, undoing a mistake and reversing time... well... that would be a bit much to ask, no? And even then, it is something I can undo myself one day. Without resorting to... well. Magic," she said. Then coughed. "Err. No offense. But for someone like me... I imagine it would be a death sentence. I do not believe I could fight a witch. Such creatures full of despair... to feel that..." She shuddered. "So if I made a wish, it would likely have to be one I wouold be willing to die for."

She then nodded. "Withholds information? Of course. Are... you familiar with the fable of the monkey's paw? Or perhaps deal with a devil? To summarize, the moral is to be careful what one wishes for. If you are to make such a wish... you must be completely certain, without a measure of a doubt, what you wish for will truly bring you happiness. Otherwise, it is guaranteed to lead you to despair. And... I cannot see any wish in my mind that I would be willing to take such a chance on."

She did frown though. "I... find it unlikely. That I will ever encounter such a creature. In my entire life I have only felt despair that... sounds as powerful as what you mention three times in my life. Two times from afar and... once from far closer. And all three were long, long ago, there is no proof they were of such creatures. And if I encounter such things, then I will flee." She smiled in an attempt at a joking manner. "And well... if I cannot flee, and will likely die anyway, perhaps then I will find a wish far more appealing," she joked. She had very poor tastes.
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-30 02:19:16 96552
    Madoka doesn't understand the joke but she giggles anyway, shaking her head a little at the apology, "No, it's okay! I like making new friends. I'd be happy to be your friend, Masu-chan. I'll do my best not to be too emotional around you, though I hope you understand there might be times where that means I'll need to be away from you if they're too much to suppress." She blushes a little herself, honestly joyful at making a new friend.

    She blinks a little, "Why would you be a freak? It's horrible that it can overwhelm you, but I think being able to tell how others are feeling is amazing! I think it makes you special and wonderful. I don't see anything bad about it at all, Masu-chan."

    She lets Masu think over all of the things about wishes and gets noticeably more uncomfortable as the other girl thinks over all the complexities. There's a part of Madoka that wants to hang her head and cover her face with her hands as they talk about this, but she doesn't, instead simply watching Masu and nodding to show she's listening. She's actually quite glad she was already attempting to suppress her emotions.

    "You're getting a lot of the right ideas, but they're a little off mark. The problem with Kyubey's wishes isn't that they're a bad interpretation. They really do give you what you wish for- it's just like what you said. You have to be very sure what you're wishing for is what will make you happy, or you may end up regretting it. And regretting your wish is one of the surest ways to get you killed as a Puella Magi. To be perfectly honest with you, I only know of one Puella who hasn't come to regret their decision to make a contract with Kyubey at some point." Hint: It's the one talking to Masu right now. And she can't even be sure it'll stay that way forever.

    As for the final joke, this time Madoka finally does close her eyes, lower her head, and let out a little sigh. "You say that, but Kyubey does specifically prey upon people who have no choice but to make a Wish in life or death situations. Almost anyone would take his contract at that point, unless someone showed up to save them at the last moment."
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-30 02:30:39 96554
Masu Yogoshi nods. "That's fine. As long as I have a bit of warning and... Maybe... I can leave when that happens." She was going to need to work on her shields. That girl just shattered them. Maybe if she turned into Tarnished first? Did the dark energy dampen things enough to keep her safe?

"Yeah. You're... really sweet. Madoka. But not everyone is so sweet. I didn't used to be as good at suppressing everything I felt as I am now. I used to be a.... bit of a mess at times. I'd collapse or freak out at least once, twice a week," she said with a shake of her head. "I've gotten over that. But there are still times like this. Where I lower my barriers or others over run me. And most people don't believe it." Though she didn't think anyone had ever almost killed her. "You get labled a freak for things like that, usually."

She nodded. "Oh? Your friend, I take it? The one who was a magi before you? Should I call you a puella, or a magi? Honestly it's kind of strange..." She then shrugged. "Happy... I've found a lot of things that make me happy. And things that make me unhappy. But they tend to change a lot. I imagine they would change in the future as well. It seems I'd need to do something universal, like wish away cancer, something I could never regret."

She then blinked a few times. "Oh. That is... less than... pleasing to hear. I have never met this kyubey. Should I be expecting a visit in the near future, or does he wait until it is do or die?"

"Although, I suppose I could have been visited by him while I was in the hospital... I was on a lot of pain killers... but I think I'd remember becoming a... that." She lifted up a hand and shook her head. "No. I think that's unlikely. I've never heard of any of this before now. Probably for the best. I have no desire to do such a thing. I imagine it either involves wearing far too much latex, or far too short skirts. And I refuse to do either," she said completely flatly, without even a hint of a smile on her face.

And yet she tended to wear short, double layered skirts. She then blinked. "Well. I refuse to fight in them, at least."
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-30 02:57:23 96557
    "I'll try to warn you if you're around when I'm not able to watch my feelings so carefully." It's actually a little frustrating for her- not towards Masu, just to force herself not to express herself as fully as she normally would. Bottling up emotions isn't something she's used to doing by any stretch of the imagination. Still, it wasn't exactly a bad skill to have. It might be worth practicing from time to time, especially if she ever wanted to spend more than a few minutes around Masu.

    Part of the issue of being a Magical Girl is that there was usually some crisis or another to worry about with varying degrees of severity.

    "You should say Puella. If you say Magi or Mage people would possibly mistake what you're talking about for a Device user. I think they call themselves mages. ...or knights." She laughs a little and rubs the back of her head, "Eheheheh. There are people who know a lot more about those kinds of magic users than me."

    When Masu speaks of the things that make her happy shifting Madoka gives her a gentle smile, "Then you'd know better than most why making a wish that makes you ecstatically happy one day can seem like a waste of time a week later." She considers saying something personal but decides against it, not wanting to talk about herself when she already knows she can't say what her own wish was. "Mmm. You might be able to do that, but wishing away such a common and deadly disease would require a lot of karmic potential. If you had that kind of potential as a Puella Magi, Kyubey would probably be speaking to you right now. It's really very complicated."

    She smiles again, "If he does approach you, just remember to ask him a lot of questions. Unfortunately my honest suggestion would be that it's almost never worth taking his Wish and you should ignore him, but I know it's a very hard thing for people to turn down." She looks to Masu's hand and shakes her head, "No, you're not. I'd be able to tell if you were. He'd almost certainly be telling you it was time to go hunt Witches, too, if you hadn't yet. That's a part of the contract, an obligation." Not that she's ever met a Puella who steadfastly refused to hunt, though for the purpose of Grief Seeds Kyubey would probably be content enough to let a Puella die like that.

    As for what Masu would look like as a magical girl, Madoka giggles, "I don't think you'd wear something you'd find uncomfortable." There's a desire to say more, but the last thing Madoka wants to do is give someone the impression it's a good idea to become a Puella. She's not Mami; the upsides aren't even worth showing if there's some possibility the person might contract. That's entirely for after a contract is made, when knowing is necessary for survival.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-08-30 03:06:42 96558
Masu Yogoshi nodded. "I find meditation helps, it's how I learned to control them when I was younger. Though the need is... probably less important for you," she said. Did she like talking in such a monotone? She put so much effort into keeping herself calm and quiet, not allowing any emotion into her voice at all. truly a downer to have at parties. "And that's fine. If I get over whelmed... part of the issue I was at school. And here I'm surrounded by a bunch of horney and hormonal teenagers and it is *not* the most pleasant experience to be around when your barriers go down," she said with a shudder.

"Puella, of course. I'll make a note of that. And... device user?" she asked, cocking her head together. "Mage and knights? Like... a staff and sword? Are there whole catagories of you people? Is there a chart I could get a hold of, if you don't mind?"

"Karmic... potential?" she asked. "You mean like... the amount of good I'll do in the future?" she imagined her future. The people she'd save. The lives. And then shivered. "I think it may be for the best I have never seen this kyubey. Or maybe it's a sign I will become a horrible, terrible person."

She then smiled."Of course. And unless it is absolutely necessary, I will not make a wish. I will just depend on one of you... Puella, or perhaps a knight, to save me. Or going with the theme, perhaps some kind of moon princess or... I don't know. A dragoon. Err. The guys with spears who jump high. My little brother and I play games together a lot."
Madoka Akemi 2018-08-30 03:55:23 96568
    Madoka nods a little and looks somewhat impressed at being able to keep her emotions in check with meditation. "It sounds like it was very difficult for you when you were younger, but it's amazing that you were able to find a solution like that." As for whether not having a method for controlling her own emotions like that? It would probably depend on who you asked whether or not that was important. It had certainly led to a large number of bad outcomes that needed reversing, though everything turned out okay in the end.

    Her face turns fairly red and she gets embarrassed herself as Masu talks about how unpleasant it is being around hormonal teenagers when she isn't able to block their emotions.

    "They use magical devices to cast spells," she replies about device users. "The devices usually look like magic staffs or weapons when they're active, I think." Short pause, "Oh! And they fly and can make neat shields out of magic symbols." She's starting to wonder if she's just going to sound like a crazy person to the uninitiated. When Masu suggests a chart her eyes brighten, "...actually I think I can! Though I don't have one with me. Homura-chan probably has something like that."

    Karmic potential... "That's... confusing, I know. Someone like a princess whose actions affect a whole country has more of it, or something like that?" She lets out another nervous laugh and shakes her head, "No, I don't think it's like that. It's a good thing you haven't seen Kyubey, really. Ask Mamoru-kun if you don't believe me."

    As to the various types of magical people that could save Masu she just kind of giggles again, "It's more likely than you'd think."
Masu Yogoshi 2018-09-02 23:28:42 96902
Masu Yogoshi nodded. "Things were. But it was either learn to control it, or completely isolate myself from human contact. And... I've always been a bit of a people person. Sometimes the feelings can even be good. I find love and adoration to feel particularly good. And when it comes down to it, there are medications i can take to dampen the effects. Though they are not, technically, an approved usage. Likely because abilities like mine are not supposed to exist."

She nodded and then... "You don't need to worry i think your crazy. My ability shouldn't exist, and yet it does. What you're telling me is... You are not lying. And i can tell you are different. So that means one of many options. Either your telling me the truth and there are so many things i do not know, or i had a mental break and am currently strapped down to a bed somewhere. Or i died and this is some kind of afterlife, or the final thoughts of a mind about to die." She paused. "And the last two i can do little to affect, the mental break would have likely occured as a child, and at this point it is unlikely i could affect it. Which leaves... You telling the truth. And only an idiot decides something is automatically false, just because they don't understand it. And yes, a chart would be most appreciated. If you could. And on the matter of kyubei... I will make sure to speak with chiba-san later about it," she said firmly.

She blinked a few more times. "I... See. Princesses and dragoons. It is a strange world you live in, madoka. I am not sure i will be particularly safe in it. But i am sure with time and effort i will gain a grasp of what exactly it is i need to avoid, and who i can trust. Aside from these witches, is there anything or anyone else i should fear?"
Madoka Akemi 2018-09-02 23:48:41 96908
    Madoka smiles sympathetically to Masu as she confirms that she had a difficult childhood coping with her abilities. When she says that the emotions she picks can be good too she smiles a bit more, "The best and the worst feelings in the world... they're all there for a reason aren't they? It's horrible when people have to feel the bad ones so much that it hurts them, but there's also something amazing about feeling terrible and making it through." She can't imagine it's quite the same if it's someone else's emotions your feeling though.

    When the comment about medication is made Madoka nods, "It's the same for people who fight, sometimes. People are age aren't supposed to be fighting monsters, and those that aren't as resilient can need some extra help. It'd worry everyone's parents if they were in the hospital all the time because of it, too." She can't help but think of Hannah Sharpe, easily the most hospitalized person without a chronic condition she's ever known.

    Madoka looks mildly nervous as Masu talks about the faint possibility of having gone insane or died, but it looks like she's aware that if her own abilities are real than the abilities of others likely are too. "I am. The world is very dangerous, but it's also amazing and wonderful in ways you might never have known otherwise."

    She then nods, "You can trust Mamoru-kun. A lot of us do and it's for good reason. He's very accepting and it's also very clear how much he cares about people." As for anyone else she should worry about, "Well... there certainly are." She looks around a little as if worried and steps a little closer to Masu, "If you meet anyone who says they're from Eclipse you should be careful around them. They're not all bad people, but they deal with a lot of very bad things. They tried to kidnap me several times because of my potential, before I became a magical girl."

    She closes her eyes for a moment, only to quickly open them again and look at Masu, waving her hands in front of herself a little, "B-but if you can feel if someone has bad intentions towards you, that should help you avoid those kinds of situations a lot more easily than I could!"
Masu Yogoshi 2018-09-03 00:03:09 96913
Masu Yogoshi was silent for a long moment, before nodding. "Yes," she finally said. "The ability to not really be... lied to, is incredibly useful," she said firmly. "I do, however, wish people would understand that," she said flatly. "If I got paid for every time someone I trusted with my ability tried to lie to me... Well..." She paused. "Maybe I wouldn't need to keep it hidden from so many people. It is quite... distressing to know the person who is smiling and trying their best to be supportive, is in fact terrified of you or believes you an insane freak who will snap at any moment," she said before stretching a little bit.

"Eclipse... Truly? They are benefactors of the hospital my mother works at and where I volunteer. I find it hard to believe they would kidnap people... For potential?" she said, then chuckled dryly. "I suppose this means my potential is quite low. They've never expressed..." She paused. "Much interest in me, I suppose."

she walked to the edge of the roof and looked out over it. "You aren't wrong, Madoka. There is such beauty and amazing things in this world. Sometimes... I will even go to places. Places of excitement... of happiness. Weddings are a guilty pleasure of mine. Sometimes there is darkness there.... But usually the beauty outweighs the bad."

"And no. I imagine people aren't supposed to be fighting monsters. Perhaps that is why I haven't met any of your kind until recently. I imagine the damage, destruction to your minds would make you the veritable mind field," Pun intended, "That I endeavor to avoid. And in hospitals... I try to avoid the worst cases."

Then she turned back to Madoka and gave a small, weak smile. "You've taught me so much, Madoka. I appreciate it. I do hope that..." She trailed off. And looked concerned. "I do hope these things you've told me up, do not come in contact with me. Creatures of despair and darkness... I... could not imagine anything more likely to destroy me. Even if I could escape... Hiding away from such a thing would be unlikely to succeed."
Madoka Akemi 2018-09-03 00:27:09 96916
    Madoka smiles sadly at Masu, "Not everyone is capable of handling the truth. I know that must have hurt you, but there are many who aren't capable of accepting powers like yours or mine without being afraid or simply not understanding." There's a deeper truth to what she's saying. She certainly is talking about Masu's telepathy, but there's also something quite a bit more personal involved. "You should be especially careful around Kyubey though. I hate repeating it, but what I haven't told you yet is that he doesn't have emotions, so you probably won't be able to know when he's misleading you."

    "They're benefactors to a lot of places and they do sometimes spend money in ways that help people, but they also spend a lot of money funding people who go out and hurt people, or take peoples energy for... well, I don't know why they do it. Probably for different reasons. Most of the people I know involved with Eclipse mean well, or think they do, but end up causing a lot more harm than good."

    She gives a small shake of her head, "It's a little hard to explain. My situation was... unique. I didn't have any idea about it myself until Kyubey told me. As soon as I moved back to Tokyo from America though, everything seemed to be going crazy around me. I'm happy if you've been able to avoid most of the dangerous things that have been happening.

    The idea of being able to go to a wedding and soak up the happiness and good feelings sounds rather nice. Madoka follows Masu over to the edge of the roof and looks out at the Tokyo skyline, downtown Mitakihara so close and dominant here. When the conversation turns to the toll fighting takes on people's minds she nods, "It is. And it's not something we're very good at handling, either. It's amazing and magical, but it all turns very bad as soon as people start to get hurt, and sometimes you're so busy just trying to stay alive you can't do much to help. Everyone has been through so much, it's hard to tell how much of a toll it's taking. I would always like to be able to do more, to help people deal with everything better, but I know where my place is now." The first step to helping others is often helping yourself first, especially in the case of a Puella.

    Madoka nods a little, "I do, too. If they do you can be sure people will try to help you. I don't think it's very often they can show themselves in public without getting jumped on, because there are a lot of us that help protect the city." Still, if she's so sure how bad an effect an evil creature would have on her it's hard for Madoka not to worry. There's little doubt she'd be worrying about Masu a lot more if it wasn't for the fact she knew doing so might kill the poor girl, at least while they're right next to each other.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-09-03 00:46:44 96923
Masu Yogoshi nodded. "Indeed. My own parents believed it was a phase. No. They still do. I let them beleive that. It was... better for them. Better for me. Better for all. If It was just the ramblings of a child, who thought she 'felt' things. I let them believe I am just... observant. Which, to be honest, I am. It's far easier to understand how people react, how they feel off visual queues, when you have the actual ability to sense their reactions and know if you are right or wrong." She then glanced over. "Are you certain he is emotionless? There is a different between those who have no emotions... and those who just don't care. He may have them and just not... in a way you can grasp them." She then shuddered. "Though i imagine that would be... uncomfortable if it is that."

She nodded and gave a small smile. "I will keep that in mind. If they try to use me, I will feel it. So please, do not worry about me. I will be safe, I assure you. I can feel the stress and worry but..." She reached out, as if to touch ehr face.... but stopped centimeters from her cheek. "If all that you have said is true, please. Worry more of yourself. Your lot is far more difficult than mine. More dangerous, as well. Nobody expects me to fight such... things. Nobody expects me to fight at all."

She nodded, listening and... "Perhaps... I could help. Not in large quantities... of course. But but for those you're unsure if they require help, or not. I may be able to help you with them. Get what they truly need. Understand what they truly need. At the very least, I could likely get them medication they may desperately need. Especially as it sounds like you are all fighting a war that... no one else knows of."
Madoka Akemi 2018-09-03 00:59:03 96924
    "You must understand it better than most, then. Still, I'm sorry you had to go through so many people not believing you or being afraid of you. I'm glad that you were able to make it through." Being able to use direct evidence to get better at reading peoples body language and cues would be a big help, she has to admit.

    As for Kyubey's emotional state she shakes her head a little, "I can't be absolutely sure, of course. But I still think that's true. I don't think it would make sense for him to lie about that when he gets away with so much by omitting important information and telling half-truths." She considers for a moment that Kyubey might have emotions, just not in a way she could understand. "Well, maybe. I never thought about it that way. It's best to just assume he's either trying to trick you or get something out of you, no matter what he feels."

    Madoka smiles back to Masu, "Okay. I feel a little better, knowing you can tell when someone is trying to be dishonest with you or take advantage of you." She then gives another little nod, "Nobody should really expect you to fight, not unless you wanted to."

    As for the offer of medications Madoka laughs a little and shakes her head, "No, that's okay. I actually have what I need- I have a first aid kit. I used to be a candy striper at Mitakihara General, so I was able to get what I needed then." She shifts a little on her feet, "Though it felt a little wrong at the time..." Her head shakes a little- she actually helped save someone's life with that first aid kit, which is way more important. It's not like she took the hospital's last doses of medicine.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-09-03 01:15:50 96929
Masu Yogoshi shrugged. "It is just the way people are. People do not like what they do not understand. I am fortunate. A thousand, no, even a hundred years ago I could have been killed for my abilities. Seen as a demon, or worse. A monster to be feared and slaughtered. Instead, I am considered 'strange'. And while I'll admit I do often get... lonely. There are far worse fates. For example, being afraid I'd starve to death due to a lack of those.... things you mentioned. I'm sorry. A physical list would be useful."

She nodded. "If I do ever meet with this kyubey, I will make sure that I remember to tell you what I feel. Though... if all he tells are lies and half truths, it may be that he just hides them really well. If he has strong enough barriers..."

She nodded. "I do not have the capability to fight. I... do practice some martial arts, at my mother's desire. I am even told I am quite talented. But... My abilities make a normal fight... unwanted." She shook her head. "Imagine punching someone, and then feeling that shock, that pain, through them? Could you truly try to hurt someone, even to defend yourself, in such a way?" That was why dark energy was so important for her. Why it needed to block the sensations she felt for others.

"Not something I would want to do without the right medications available. And I understand. I fail to see the issue. You acquired resources required to fight a war that most would deny and benefited all. How is that wrong?" she asked, giving a small smile. "Sometimes you have to do things that... seem bad at the time. But... if it's for the greater good... It's not so wrong. It's not as long as you stole stuff that was needed then, correct? And if you used it for something that was needed, and no one was harmed, there was no harm."
Madoka Akemi 2018-09-03 01:32:07 96932
    Sometimes the fear comes when people finally do understand, Madoka thinks to herself. "I'm sure you'll be able to find more people who can accept you for who you are, Masu-chan. It might take you a while, but I don't doubt you'll get there. You shouldn't have to be lonely." She tilts her head a little then, "Afraid you'd starve to death?" There's something she isn't quite connecting there.

    When Masu explains how it is to physically fight someone Madoka nods a little. "It's hard to hurt people when you understand how they feel. I think if everyone was like you, and understood that like you, that there would be a whole lot less people hurting each other in this world. It sounds like it's a struggle for you to deal with, but it really does seem like a gift, being able to understand people so well and how you affect them."

    As Masu agrees with her and tries to make her feel better about having taken things from the Hospital Madoka shifts around a little. The arguments are all true and valid, but something about trying to justify her actions further makes her uncomfortable. "I'd still rather I didn't have to do it. It was... the only way I knew how to help." And not helping at all is the most difficult thing in the world for her.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-09-03 02:16:25 96937
Masu Yogoshi nodded. "Well... however you put it. the thing with... you magi. Puella. Your whole situation seems... off. Bad. Starving from the lack of..." she sighed. "I really need a chart. Or.... a book on this matter. A book would be useable." She then nodded. "No. I imagine not. Being lonely... As long as I maintain control and... don't allow myself to be overwhelmed, there is no dangers or... threats to being around others," she said with a smile.

She blinked a few times. "Everyone like me? That would be interesting. There'd be far less liars in this world," she said with a laugh. "Or perhaps they would be better at it, when they learned how to shield themselves, and others. To better fake their lies," she said with a shrug. "I am actually an incredible liar. It's why I try not to. I can already sense everyone else's lies, it's hardly fair if I lie then," she said with a shrug.

"No, it is better, though. Nobody wants to do bad things. But sometimes bad things need to be done. Stealing them and using them to save the lives of others is obviously superior to leaving them behind, and them not being used," she said with a smile. "After all, saving a life is the most important thing, is it not?" she asked. "I should go, though. My mother will be expecting me soon, I usually visit her after school. And my class will let out soon. It was a pleasure to meet you, Madoka. I do hope we can meet again. Under similiar circumstances." Before ste started walking away.