Pounding headaches

Millie decides to get a bit of privacy and runs into Masu, who's nursing a bit of a headache. They have quite the discussion as they learn about her, and Millie begins to understand just what it's like to be an Empath. To Masu's possible annoyance, it looks like she has ANOTHER magical girl aiming to get themselves killed trying to protect her.

Date: 2018-12-07
Pose Count: 18
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 00:43:12 101443
Masu Yogoshi was sitting by herself, as far from contact as possible. Not at the tables, no. This time she was sitting in the middle of the park woods, her knees hugged to her chest and face buried in her knees.

She couldn't even bring her barriers up. Whatever that... purrification had been, it had hurt A LOT. And it had done a ton of damage to her system. She told her parents that she had a big project for eclipse but.... she couldn't take it. Not now. She hadn't gone back to work since she recovered.

Her head couldn't stop pounding. And everyone who came close made it worse, so she had to avoid people as much as possible.
Millie White 2018-12-07 01:03:09 101446
Even though she had lived her whole life minus the last month without it, Millie White felt very vulnerable without her magic. The wounds had completely healed thanks to Miho's efforts, but she had been warned not to do anything too strenuous just in case. With the Wolkenritter running around ganking linker cores, it was very dangerous to be alone for any magical being, never mind one who couldn't actually use their magic to defend themselves... and Millie knew this.

Yet even so, she found herself mostly isolated in the woods of King Penguin Park. The Canuck had obediently stayed with the crowds for the whole week, but it was starting to drive her a little mad that she couldn't get a quiet moment to herself. The area was mostly isolated, but she had picked a spot where people passed by on their way to other areas. If she really needed to, she could bolt, but Millie knew she needed a bit of time to herself.

The defunct Cure had her back facing a particularly large tree, her right arm holding a wooden training sword. Strangely, it wasn't kendo shinai, but an English-styled training blade. Millie was simply practicing her stances and a few different strike techniques. It wasn't anything flashy, and every once in a while she would pause and rub at her left shoulder even though it wasn't her sword arm. This was probably the best she would get to having time to herself while she figured out how to recover her shield.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 01:10:06 101447
Masu Yogoshi had blinked, glancing up. Someone was coming. They felt... Oh. Ohhhh she knew that emotion well. She knew it far, far too well. She was silent. For a long, long time... then... slowly, she got to her feet. She ran her hand along the tree as she walked around it and... watched the other girl.

She watched her for a long time. Who carried around a wooden stick like that? Well. A sword. She watched for as long as she coulkd. Then, finally... "You're not worthless," she finally said.

"I'm not sure why you feel that way. But there's no such thing as worthless. Everyone has value, no matter who they are. And no matter what stupid thing you did," because of course she did. She wasn't Masu so she couldn't expect to be perfect. "You don't lose that value. It's probably good that you're at least trying to make up for it, though. But mixing that blind determination with that self loathing? Not a good mix, you're bound to hurt yourself. And I'd really appreciate if you didn't."
Millie White 2018-12-07 01:31:36 101450
If Millie had access to her magic, there was a chance she could have smelled the other girl approaching. Since that was not the case, the sudden voice caught her by surprise and her heart seized in her chest. The Cure's mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario: The Wolkenritter had found her.

Millie whirled around with the sword in hand, a look halfway between shock and anger on her face. The sword was held defensively, as if whatever had spoken would try to attack, and she immediately took a step back.... but it wasn't the Wolkenritter at all. It was a girl around her own age with long black hair and striking red eyes. Startled as she was, Millie was able to keep up with the words coming out of the other girl's mouth.

...Just who was she? How did she know all this? Millie had never vocalized what she had been feeling, or that she had indeed done a stupid thing. And yet, the things she said were surprisingly kind. Even so, Millie couldn't bring herself to trust that she wasn't potentially here to harm her. Not yet, anyway.

"Who are you?" Millie asked sharply, her voice not matching her kind eyes. "How did you know all that?"
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 01:40:09 101452
Masu Yogoshi just stared at her for the longest time. "Empath. I can feel feelings. And now, either you'll think I'm nuts and run away. You'll forget entirely because, as minor as it is compared to practically every other girl in this city I swear, it's still enough to constitute as magic. Or you're magic and do some of that fighting monsters stuff, got your butt kicked, and are broad casting about how pathetic and small you feel because you are a teenager who desperately needs to get a bucket of cold water dumped over herself. And who am I?"

She rubbed her head. "Masu. Empath. And I got my shields shattered by a rather large burst of emotional energy, and now I am nursing a headache that could qualify as borderline murderous. So I repeat. Please do not do anything stupid, such as hurting yourself trying to prove to yourself you're still awesome. You'll only get hurt. Then I'll feel it. And avoiding more of a head ache is the whole reason I'm here."

"Also, you know it is CONSIDERABLY rude to ask someone's name like that, without giving your own." She was indeed striking but... When she leaned back against the tree, closing her eyes for a second and lifting a hand to her temple, it was obvious she herself was in quite a bit of pain. Or at least was tender. "I am sorry. At the best of times, I would be calmer. Quieter. And less obvious. But right now? My tolerance for the whole song and dance of this... stuff, is not something I have the brain power for."
Millie White 2018-12-07 02:07:06 101456
An empath?! ... Instead of the typical reaction of anger at what Masu had said, Millie's face suddenly went blank. With a suffering sigh, her emerald gaze roved skywards and she almost GLARED.

"An empath? Really?" Her voice was accusatory in a way that didn't put any blame on Masu's shoulders. Instead Millie gave the universal 'what the hell' hand gesture at the sky, as if blaming the universe itself for stacking the deck against her. Millie grunted and quietly lowered the wooden sword, her other hand rubbing the bridge of her nose as if this whole interaction had already given her a headache. After a long moment, she looked back towards the shorter girl.

"You're right. My name is Millie White... and that was rude of me." A beat of silence fell between them. "Then again, so is sneaking up on someone and lobbing their own emotions in their face." Her voice was strangely casual given the roughness of their meeting, but Millie hadn't missed the look of pain, and she wasn't about to argue with someone who was suffering. Her emotions had stabilized and now, as she looked at Masu, her gaze softened.

"...I might be able to help you with your headache." Millie offered quietly, leaning the wooden training sword against the tree. There was no malice in her words, despite how rough their initial greeting had been. "C'mere." She gestured the girl over.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 02:27:20 101460
Masu Yogoshi cocked an eye at this reaction. "Huh. Of all the reactions I expected, that was not one of them. Do you hate empaths, or something? And I didn't sneak up on you. I was sitting behind this tree and trying to drown out the world, when you came about. I felt your presence, and I figured I'd best act on it if I wanted this throbbing to go away. And negative emotions like that are rough when they leak through my barriers," she said. "Especially now when I can't make them."

Masu pushed off the tree. She didn't feel any agression, or trickery from the other girl. So she knew it would be fine. "If you insist. However, I should mention I am a medical chemist... in training. And well versed in first aid. Nor do I put much voucher into new age medicines that don't have any scientific proof. On top of that, a placebo won't work as I can detect the pain. And I'm trying to limit the medications I take now, as it is."
Millie White 2018-12-07 02:41:15 101462
Millie waved a hand at Masu's spiel about being a medical chemist. In fact, she even grinned lightly and lopsidedly. Carefully she stepped so she was behind Masu.

"I don't hate Empaths. It just figures life would throw one at me at this very moment." She chuckled. "Nah, none of that stuff. Papa is a Police Officer so he gets a lot of headaches from stress and sometimes injuries. He showed me a trick." Gently, Millie placed her hands on the shorter girl's shoulders. "This will hurt for a second, but give it a bit, alright? It's never failed me before. It won't get rid of it completely if it's a really bad headache, but it's always helped me. I hope it helps you." Her words were earnest and there was no hint of a lie in her voice. Millie politely paused in case Masu wanted to say anything before she worked her magic.

Millie's hands were calloused but surprisingly gentle as she silently felt around the muscles that attached Masu's shoulders to her neck, her hands pausing at a spot closer to the neck. She paused so that Masu could prepare herself before going ahead with the plan. Millie shoved the knuckles of her thumbs into the muscles and held it for two seconds before letting go. Quickly she used the palm of her hand to massage the ailing girl's shoulders. Millie hadn't been lying, this had always worked for her, and her emotions clearly read that she hoped it at least helped Masu with her headache. In fact, she practically believed it was magic.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 02:48:29 101464
Masu Yogoshi cringed, but... Let her. And she tried. Unfortunately... That meant physical contact. And while it made her shoulders feel nice... She finally just tore away. "Urgggg... Y-you're just making it worse!" she snapped. She'd hoped for a little relief but...

Physical touch made the emotions clearer, made them beat against her mind all the harder. Especially with her inability to properly shield at the moment. She held her forhead and took slow, agonized breaths.

"It's not. Your fault. You didn't know," she said coldly. As much to herself as the other girl. "Physical. Touch. Amplifies the feeling. Makes them... stronger. And that's what hurts. I appreciate the gesture. Truly. But this... is cured through time. That is all."
Millie White 2018-12-07 03:06:53 101465
Millie let go instantly and held her palms up in a gesture that said she hadn't meant to hurt her. The gesture wasn't needed, but Millie couldn't stop herself. Fear that she had hurt the other coursed through her with an undercurrent of shame and sadness. Even her well intentions went astray... a tendril of genuine anger at herself surfaced, but that's when she remembered. Masu was an empath, the emotions were what hurt, she had said so herself. So if that were the case, they just had to get rid of them, right?

The foreigner closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose, held it, and exhaled slowly through her mouth. She repeated this a few times until her breathing slowed gently. Was she... meditating?

Masu would suddenly feel the emotions from before melt away and disappear, hopefully helping to ease the surge of emotions her earlier stupidity had caused. There was no negative emotions, not even positive emotions. The only thing emanating from Millie right now was a strange calm. She had to concentrate on it and that left her a little vulnerable, but it seemed she trusted Masu enough to at least attempt it.
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 03:14:32 101466
Masu Yogoshi was silent for a long moment, watching the other girl. Meditation? Of all the things she'd expected to see, that... wasn't one of them. She turned and walked away, bending down to sit by a tree. Then she glanced up at her for a long, long moment.

"You know, I gotta say. I'm surprised more of you don't meditate. It's useful, though. I usually use it to help calm myself." She glanced up at her.

"Wanna talk about what has you feeling so down in the dump? I'm gonna guess it's unlikely someone blew your mental shields up, of course," she joked. Then she closed her eyes.

"Though I can't force you. Wouldn't if I could. I know some of you girls are protective and, let's be honest. I may be kinda like you all, but I'm not 'in the club' as it were," she said with a shrug.

"But it might help to get those feelings out. And I suspect, judging by the way you came out here to hide, you're trying to hide them so the people you worry about don't worry. Right?"
Millie White 2018-12-07 03:31:22 101467
Millie had no idea if it worked, but Masu at least seemed calmer. She had even sat down against the tree, that was a good sign, right? The Canuck let out a a long sigh as she let herself come out of her meditation. Emotions surfaced, but they were incredibly muted compared to earlier. The defunct Cure opened her eyes to look directly at Masu.

"I meditate after training, usually. It helps me calm down but it's hard to do sometimes." She admitted, scratching the back of her head sheepishly. The tall girl moved to sit at the same tree, a respectable distance from Masu, and leaned her back against the bark with a light grunt. Masu sure was asking a lot of questions and being... excessively kind. It was suspicious, but instead of feeling cautious about it, she just honestly came out with the question.

"First I wanna know something." She said, leaning her head back against the tree and closing her eyes. "Why are you trying to help me? You're clearly in a lot of pain. If you could feel my emotions from there, you could have just walked away and I wouldn't have been your problem... but you didn't. Why?"
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 03:43:34 101469
Masu Yogoshi closed her eyes, letting her vision seem a little darker. Oh, Millie had quite the questions, didn't she? "Isn't it obvious?" she asked softly, before finally opening them. "I'm an empath."

There ws a pause so pregnant it had twins, before she spoke up again. "I have been an empath my entire life. I can't NOT feel what others feel. I can block it out as much as I want. But it's always there. On the edge of my mind. Do you have any idea what that's like? How many times have you thought to yourself 'If only this person could see my point of view'? I can. I can see EVERY point of view. You want to ask how I can want to help? Because I can't NOT care," she said a bit harsher than she intended.

"When you feel hopeless, I feel just as hopeless. Pain. Sadness. All of it. Every bit of it. I can try and block so much of it out, because there is so, so, so much suffering in this world. But..."

"... How can I ignore suffering and pain in front of me when I can do something about it? Even if it hurts, when I can feel the pain that you feel... how could I ignore it when I CAN do something about it?"

She shook her head. "Ugh. That was horrible. I must sound so cheesy. Normally I can keep my... emotions more bottled up than that. But everything just keeps leaking in today..."
Millie White 2018-12-07 03:56:59 101470
Millie was absolutely silent for a long few moments. Her brow furrowed but her eyes didn't open. When Masu put it like that, it sounded more like torture than the gift people made it out to be. Who would ever ask for that? If Masu's voice were harsh, Millie didn't notice or simply didn't care. A few emotions slowly surfaced from Millie one by one. The first was sympathy, NOT pity. There was no use in pitying people when you could sympathize and try to help them. It was quickly followed by hesitation, but the hesitation was softly swallowed up by a new emotion; the desire to protect.

Millie's eyes snapped open and she looked over at Masu, her emerald gaze soft. "What about YOUR emotions?" She asked softly. "You have them, I don't need to be an empath to know that. Do other's emotions drown them out?"
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 04:06:57 101471
Masu Yogoshi sighed. Good. NOT pity. She hated pity. It was a wasted emotion. Sympathy? Yes. That was a good emotion. She gave a nod. "Usually. It's... more like..." she hummed as she opened her eyes. "How to put it. When I can block it, it's like having a shield around you, in all directions. You can see, even feel the emotions pounding on it. But they don't break it. So you're aware, but they don't affect you as much. But then, powerful emotions can SHATTER the shield if I'm not careful. And it takes time to build or, like now, when I've been over whelmed and I can't even try to build them because it's like trying to drive wooden stakes into my own head. Until the pain dies, I'll have to revert to alternative means."

She then sighed. "And my own emotions... Well... Just as things can break in... the more emotional I am, the more those emotions leak out. And what leaks out, allows that same type to leak in. If I let my sadness go, then the sadness of other's will flow in. and we.... Humans? We rarely experience one emotion at a time. Joy can be tinged with sadness. Which allows other sadness to slide inside. I can usually keep it in check enough, and slam my shields down if I have to. but it's a very difficult balancing act. It's easy to be lost in the pain." She was silent for a long moment.

"If you have any doubts, my parents said my temper tantrums were things of legends," she joked. "I've learned to keep it in check over the years. To keep a tight leash over what I allow myself to feel. But... it's still all there. And I can't help feeling remorse for those I can see. It's why I want to do what I do."

She glanced over. "Though, if you want to protect me, while I do appreciate the gesture, you should deal with whatever makes you feel so 'worthless' first. Feelings like that, in a protector, often lead to reckless. And nobody needs a reckless protector."
Millie White 2018-12-07 04:41:09 101472
That... was a vivid image. Millie slowly nodded as she digested all that information. So it really was like a prison... The Canuck let out a low, sad, hum. After a few moments, Millie looked over at Masu yet said nothing. Instead she just... looked at her, almost searchingly. As if she had found what she was looking for, warmth bloomed in her chest and she offered the shorter girl a genuine smile that definitely reached her eyes this time.

"You're really something, Masu-san." She said casually before leaning back against the tree. "You asked how you could ignore suffering, like you didn't have a choice, but you did. Your ability could be used to manipulate and to cause more suffering, but you took it and ran in the opposite direction. You didn't have to, but you did."

She just felt she needed to say that, and a small well of pride made itself known inside her.

The talk of reckless protectors caused a ripple of... what was that? Acceptance? What was that supposed to mean?

"I lost my magic and I'm not sure if I'll be able to get it back. That won't stop me. I don't need magic or a reason to help people, but I don't want to become a liability. So I have to fix it. I WILL fix it. If that makes me reckless, then I guess that's who I am."
Masu Yogoshi 2018-12-07 04:50:10 101473
Masu Yogoshi glanced over and gave a small smile of her own. It was tame. Controlled. Gentle. But still tamed as if a dog on a leash. "I've seen that happen, a lot. People who manipulate. Twist. It's not someone I want to be. That only leads to more pain in the end. And even if I don't feel it... Even if I get away, I'd rather not have that guilt. And I'd rather not end any more suffering to the world than I have to." She sighed then, the smile disappearing. "I'm not going to say I'm completely honest, or good, or any of that. That'd be a lie. I've definitely used my abilities for my own selfish needs. Though I try not to. Sometimes... sometimes you have to do something painful, in order to save people," she said. "It's why I want to be a medical chemist. Doctors do things like that all the time. They have to do things people hate. That makes them sad. Or angry. But it's for their own good. I can't always trust I wouldn't do what was easy. But... As a medical chemist, it gives me that extra space. Enough to help... but not so close I get over whelmed... And sometimes? Sometimes medicine is what you need, even if it hurts," she mumbled. "Speaking of..."

She pulled out her phone and looked at the time, before sighing. "It's about time for me to go." She pulled out a small bottle from her bag, opening it and taking two of the pills. She then got to her feet. "I need to go and pick up my little brother. It was nice meeting you. Let... me give you some advice, as the person you want to protect."

"If you run into anything now? Run. Run and keep running. Run until you find someone who can help you. Because if you don't have the ability to fight, no matter how hard you want to help people, you'll just be a liability who gets other people hurt. Of course, once you HAVE your magic back... Well. Go wild. As one of those 'helpless civilians' you girls protect, I really appreciate having as many of you walking around as possible. So I hope you fix yourself soon. And it was wonderful meeting you," she said before turning to walk away.
Millie White 2018-12-07 05:02:32 101474
"No one is completely good, and I don't think anyone is completely evil either. There are so many different morals, values, and emotions that it's impossible not to be a mix of something." Millie said simply, knowing all too well what Masu meant about not being completely honest or good. At the news that she had to leave, Millie looked up as Masu stood. Hopefully the pills would help Masu with her pain, if that was what they were for.

At the advice, Millie's gaze suddenly sharpened. Though she didn't say anything, Masu would be able to feel it: A roiling pit of disgust at the thought of running away. It seemed to be directly opposed to who she was fundamentally as a person. If she changed that component, was she still Millie? As Masu walked away, Millie stood.

"I'll get my magic back, but you are far from 'helpless'." Millie said sharply. Then, her voice softened. "Masu-san. Thank you for coming over and talking to me. This is my cell number, in case you ever need anything. I WILL repay you for your kindness... and perhaps I will take up meditation as more than just a training tactic." She offered a smile as she offered the girl her cell number. Masu didn't have to accept, and even if she declined, Millie wouldn't hold it against her.