Understanding

Takashi's dorm is quiet and dark. There's hardly any noises in the space at all. It's also, for a change, not just tidy but miraculously clean; the smell of fresh cleaning permeates the entire space. One thing seems particularly out of place, though: there's no foxgirls waiting to jump into Takashi's arms when he walks through the door.

There's almost always a foxgirl waiting to jump into his arms.

Instead, the foxgirl isn't much of a girl at all. Curled up on his pillow, the little black fox has tucked her nose beneath her tails. She's not making much noise, but nevertheless those eyes are full of silent, self-loathing tears. Tears that have dripped down and got his pillow wet. That's not going to be fun to sleep on. Another reason to be angry? Probably, but Ayana can't stop herself crying.

There is one other oddity: a single unopened bag of jerky sits on the bed in front of the little fox, and the refridgerator is stocked, as if she didn't even bother to feed herself in the past hour since he threw her out of the lab.

Yet despite her exhaustion--despite not eating and taking the time to clean--the fox is awake, waiting with one ear perked up high to hear the coming of her destruction. For what else does she deserve but utter destruction? She has failed, and Takashi does not tolerate failure.

The door to Takashi's dorm opens. Standing in that door is, at first, a boy, tall and strong, clad in grey armor with blue accents, and small ice crystal designs. And in his hand is a massive halberd, the axe and spear head made of what appears to be ice crystal. He shuts the door, spins the spear in his right hand, to his left, and the Henshin breaks. And there stands Takashi, as he puts the chain with the small halberd charm back on his left wrist.

He's been thinking about this meeting ever since he dropped Madoka back off at her house. About the day, about the chaos that ensued. About how close everything came to unraveling - how close he came to losing Madoka. And all because Ayana decided to take matters into her own hands.

He's got a few superficial injuries - but is only a little blooded. The look of anger on his face is still there, though not burning as brightly as it did before. He understands that Ayana was trying to help - he does get that deep down. But everything came so close to being completly destroyed, and he's still so exasperated with her.

"Ayana." he says, coldly, taking a moment to compose himself. "Explain yourself."

Ayana's whole body begins to shake, just a little, when the door opens. Ayana raises her nose out from under her tails to stare at the door, but still she remains a fox; still she remains on his pillow, unwilling to move from it.

When the door closes, the little fox lets out a soft whimpering noise.

<<"YOU did this? Why would you do this?! Why would you bring HER here? What's wrong with you?" he all but screams, and almost subconsciously squeezes a bit. "This isn't... I didn't ask for you to do anything like this!!" he says, and Ayana can feel the waves of black energy likely radiating from his gauntlet. "You're going to ruin everything!">>

The little fox tries to make herself even smaller, tucking her nose so tightly under her tail she's practically doubled up on herself. She offers no explanation; she has no explanation that she thinks might satisfy him. ~I'm sorry. I cleaned. Please don't unmake me.~ Her voice is quiet in his head, timid and filled with terror as she begs. ~I can be better.~

'Unmake her?' Takashi thinks. As mad as he is - as full of rage in his heart as he was, the thought hadn't really crossed his head in a realistic way. He very nearly blasted her, or threw her across the room in his rage. But the idea that he could just fade her away wasn't a real consideration.

"I don't WANT to unmake you. I spent too much energy making you and too much time with you to want to do that." he says, honestly. "But you very nearly destroyed everying!" he goes on, begining to shout again, losing his cool that he had built up. "You weren't told to DO that! I never asked you to bring here there! Do you know what would've happened if she figured it all out? I've got to have the doors shifted before people figure out how to get in here, I've gotta cover for everything, Hannah is going to lose her mind!" he walks over and PUNCHES... the bed. Next to Ayana, but he doesn't strike her. It might bounce the tiny fox up a little bit though.

It takes him a few moments of slow breathing to pull himself together. "You almost cost me everything I built up as Riventon, and you almost let Madoka see that side of me. I don't want her to know what I do." he says. His eyes are, for a moment, staring like he can see something else, through the bed, like he can see to a far off place.

The little fox bounds into the air at his punch, and transforms to a girl half way. Ayana's big blue eyes stare at Takashi worriedly as she kneels on his pillow, cowering and afraid. "I just wanted you to be happy," she says in a very small voice. "Happy like you a--were--with me. All the time. Even when I'm not around. And ..."

Ayana stops speaking, then lowers her eyes. "Takashi-senpai, I thought ... I thought Riventon was a good guy. She's not a magical girl. She isn't ... she can't be a threat. I wanted to save her from their evil ways. For ... for you. Because you like her and she can make you happy like I d--used to. I'm sorry. I just ... I thought it would make you happy."

Takashi takes a huge breath. And then another. "Look, if you believe that garbage I had you read, if that's the way things work in this world full of magic that we're actually in? Then I guess that makes me the bad guy. Just like the two squirrels you caught the last time I picked you up from my school probably thought you were the bad guy before you tore into them."

"But you needed to eat. What if another fox has slinked up and tried to steal your food. Would you have fought it off?" he asks, sitting on the bed.

"We're the top of this food chain, Ayana. Look around us. The people walking around in the world without magic, oblivious to the kind of power we have at our fingertips." As Takashi talks, his hand outstretches, and a little cat sized youma springs into existence, snarls, and vanishes.

"You put me up against any of those magical heroes one on one and I'll tear them apart, like you and a squirrel. The squirrels are just moving in packs."

"Madoka Kaname isn't a magical girl - but she has so much potential inside her, I'm surprised you can't feel it being near her. She could be a squirrel, or a fox." he says. This isn't a real excuse - it doesn't explain why he's so warm around her, why he's so attached to her for reasons he can't explain. But it plays into the narrative he's spinning to Ayana far better than the truth does. "I like being around her. But do you what makes me truly happy, Ayana?"

"Power makes me happy. Showing the others their place. Madoka's different, but she doesn't change the rest of the world. She has magical girl friends. They're still working in packs. Even if I beat them back, the damage they could cause in a group to the labs, to the experiments - to the POWER I am building - would be a huge setback or worse. That's why you screwed up bringing her there. If I'd wanted her there I'd have swooped her up."

There, he's said it, and Ayana lets out a small gasp. Except it's not a surprise to her; not like it should be. She may be the kid with the worst grades at Seishou Public, but it's not because she's dumb.

<<He points at the two squirrels she recently attacked. "Does that make you Evil, too?" he asks, gesturing towards them. "They were probably just going about whatever passes for squirrel business, and you, a predator, needed to eat - you were hungry. In fact, you grabbed both this time - you probably didn't need both to survive. But to thrive, you needed more.">>

Ayana's ears fold down against the side of her head.

<<"Promise me that the beautiful future you showed me is real ... that you will rule this world, and that it will not be hollow."
    "every group has to have a leader. From animals to humans - companies to countries. And the strength of that leader matters - a weak leader causes everything to break down. You've been a magical girl, you've seen the danger to humanity, to everything, that lurks there.">>

"We're the top of this food chain," Ayana repeats the words very carefully, then reaches up to wipe at her eyes. "We're the bad guys," she concludes very gently.

<<"I don't ... really know what I would want. I just ... want to make Taka-kun happy. Everything is right when he's happy.">>

The foxgirl shudders just a little. Something within her breaks, and she leans forward as if she's going to be sick, clutching at her knees on the bed. But she doesn't get sick. There's nothing in her to sick up with. She just remains like that for several moments. And then, very quietly, she leans towards Takashi. "I'm sorry I failed you, master. But I am still more useful to you than any youma or retriever. I didn't understand your motivations; I didn't understand what made you happy. But I understand now."

"<<Everything is right when he's happy.>>

"Please allow me a second chance," Ayana begs quietly. "I won't fail you again."

He leans over and pulls her to him as she leans over to him. He can tell she's having trouble with this. A month ago, that feeling would've been foreign to him. But now, he understands what it can be like to feel that heaviness in your heart when things don't line up.

"They won't say that about us forever, Ayana. You can look at human history to understand that. The revolutionary is evil until the revolution succeeds, and then they're patriots. The conqueror is evil during the war, but once peace comes, they are a benefactor. We have to be evil now in order to take our rightful place."

"You are no ordinary fox, Ayana-chan. I am no ordinary human. It would be a crime against what we are for you to pretend to be only a fox, and it would be the same for me to pretend I was only a human. My mother gave me this power, and I'm not about to throw it away... just to play by the rules of those who don't understand. Who would try to keep us down just to protect their own little worlds." He balls his hand into a fist.

"But I recognize that my potential is not the same as my power right now, so for now, I have to wait. Like a predator lurking in the grass. Or a wolf among sheep. We can't have that final battle that puts them all in their place until I've achieved my potential. But once I have, and once I win, and take my rightful place - nobody will call me villian." He leans up and scratches her ears. "Or you."

Ear-scritchings are a good sign. As is the little '-chan' he adds to her name. Everything is right when he's happy, and Ayana can sense that he is happy with her decision. One last tear falls for her lost sense of 'good'; one final fleeting moment of doubt. And then it is gone.

"You are not a villain," Ayana reassures Takashi quietly as she leans against his side. "They just don't understand. But we will make them understand, in time. When you are ready."