Puzzles

Takashi, relatively soon after the Walpurgisnacht meeting (and the argument he had with Homura), has set up a date with Madoka over a subject they both discussed a long time ago - just sitting down and doing a puzzle together. Takashi likes puzzles - both in the sense of a jigsaw puzzle and in the sense of anything that challenges his mind.

He spent a lot of his childhood doing both jigsaw and logic puzzles due to being in foster homes - it can be strange to deal with knowing your father and still being in foster care.

But the idea that Madoka suggested it brought a little brightness to him, and so he's picked out a booth at the Crown Game Center and brought a puzzle he considers to be of medium complexity - he didn't want to insult Madoka by bringing something too easy, after all. So now he's sitting there, bundled up in a dark blue sweater and waiting.

    Madoka shows up to the Crown Game Center in a fairly good mood. She's wearing a pink skirt and a white blouse, neither of which are really suited to the cold weather outside but are admittedly much cuter than your standard winter faire. This is a date, after all.

    She has the staff for the game center hold onto her coat, scarf, and mittens for her so that when she arrives at the booth she's not bundled up at all. Instead she's looking rather fetching in her outfit which is all the nicer for the contrast of the usual seasonal weather. Junko Kaname knows how to dress her daughter up cute for dates when asked. ...though of course it means her hair is up in those ribbons.

    "Takashi-kun!" she says happily upon seeing him, moving into the booth and giving him a warm hug before taking a seat next to him. "It's really good to see you again. What puzzle did you bring?" she asks, imagining various pictures ready to be pieced together.

Takashi has brought a puzzle that is very much... not a beginner's puzzle. The puzzle itself is 1000 peices - and it's a puzzle that depicts an undersea scene. Which means there's an awful lot of shades of blue, but some colorful corals at the bottom that might be easier to peice together.

"You look... really nice, Madoka-chan." he says. It seems very much like there's still something on his mind, but at least today he's found a bright smile to give her.

"I hope this is okay?" he asks, gesturing to the box. "I do think this was a good idea. You know, I used to do a lot of puzzles when I was younger. When I wasn't studying."

    "Hehe... Thank you, Takashi-kun," Madoka says, accepting the compliment with a faint blush on her cheeks. "You look really handsome today too." She means it, too! Maybe she should tell him that more since he offers compliments so freely himself? Hmm.

    She looks suitably impressed at the picture on the front of the puzzlebux. 1000 pieces is... somewhat complex, right? But it's not as if she's doing the puzzle by herself. "It looks like a lot of fun. Thanks for bringing it."

    She smiles then and imagines a very young Takashi working on a puzzle. To her this means laying on the floor on his stomach with little legs kicking in the air. This can't probably avoid eliciting an, "Aww!" of adorableness from her.

Takashi smiles a bit and opens the puzzle - it's brand new, to the point where he's un-shrinkwrapping it. He bought it just for this purpose, but in the grand scheme of things this is almost normal. He hasn't actually done a puzzle in a long time.

"Well, I had a lot of time to myself when I was younger." he admits. "So studying, reading books, doing puzzles. But it'll be nice to do them with someone else. I don't think I ever have."

With the pleasantries out of the way, and the peices poured carefully (so none spill!) onto the table he cleaned before, he looks to her. "I'm... sorry about last night." he offers.

    It's probably a very good thing it's new, otherwise Takashi might find himself sticking it together from memory before Madoka even really starts getting into it. "You certainly made the most of your time if you were able to make it to where you are today without much guidance, Takashi-kun. It makes me happy I'll get to spend time doing something from your childhood with you."

    She lets him take care of getting the puzzle out of it's box, picking up a few pieces and examining them up close to see what kind of edges this puzzle has just to get a feel for it. She pauses to look over to him and give him a soft smile, "It's okay, Takashi-kun. I forgive you. And actually... I want to apologize to you too, for trying to push you and Homura-chan together as friends. I knew you two were upset with each other but I did it anyway, and that was a mistake."

Takashi nods a bit. "I wanted to share a little bit of my world with you. There's a lot I can't share. And... that's actually been bothering me." he admits.

"I know you care a lot about her, Madoka-chan. I don't know what's going on or why. I don't understand it." he says, calmly, as he finds a corner peice to begin working the puzzle with. "...it bothers me, that I don't understand what you see in her. But I guess she probably feels the same way about me."

    Madoka keeps looking through the pieces of the puzzle one at a time. She picks one up, looks at it, sets it down. There's no strategy behind it, this is how she's trying to decide upon a strategy in the first place. When he says not sharing much with her bothers him she stops, setting down her current piece and turning a little in her seat to face towards him. "It does? I know that's how things can be with magic. I've... gotten a little bit used to not being able to know all of the details."

    She looks at Takashi for a moment, regarding him with her soft pink eyes. "Well... we came here to spend time with each other, not talk about Homura-chan. But I think it would be okay for me to tell you about that now after the meeting, if it's bothering you. Um, if you wanted."

Takashi nods a bit. "Well, not about magic per se. I'm just... trying to figure out my feelings." he says, quietly. Slotting another few peices of the puzzle into place, looking up at Madoka as if expecting her to attach one.

"About a lot of things right now, really. I wasn't just apologizing for the fight. I was apoligizing because I really..." agh. The words are hard to find for him. He gets quiet. Then, he looks to Madoka. "I think the less I know about Akemi-san the better, really."

    Madoka's feelings are usually fairly obvious to her, and when they're not a good several hours of thinking them through is usually enough to sort them out. That said she's certainly noticed that this doesn't always seem to be the case with others. Sayaka's inability to really commit one way or another on what she wants to do about Kyousuke is an obvious enough example.

    "Oh," she replies, not really knowing what else to say. She's willing enough to accept that he's still feeling himself out, though she's curious what about.

    Finally she starts doing more than looking at random pieces; this is because she managed to get a corner piece and decided this is probably a good enough place to start. She sets it down and then starts looking for the adjacent edges.

    "Well... whatever they are, Takashi-kun, I'm sure I'll forgive you for them, too. I'm not upset with you, if that's what you're worried about. Actually, I'm really just happy to get this chance to spend some more time with you." She turns her head up to look at him and smiles.

    As for not wanting to hear more about Homura? "Okay."

Takashi leans in. "Well..." he says, pushing a puzzle piece with one finger across the table. Aimlessly. Before finally putting it back into the pile, looking at it for a moment, and picking one out of the massive pile and slotting it into Madoka's side with a wry grin, like he just plucked it out of all of it's friends as easy as pie.

"...You've been really good to me, Madoka-chan." he finally settles on. That's fair. That's true. He's sure about that. "The Christmas dance was really wonderful. It was... it showed you really cared about me."

What he doesn't say is 'I wish I could've come up with something as nice for you.'

    Madoka makes an, 'ooh!' sound as the side piece is snapped easily into her corner piece. "Good find!" She picks through the pile slowly herself, snapping in one or two pieces. Right when she's starting to make progress she finds one of the other corners, sets it where it will likely end up, and promptly starts looking for pieces for it instead, reaching across the pile to test pieces against it's edges- she doesn't actually seem to be checking for obvious mismatches much at all.

    "That's sweet of you to say, Takashi-kun," Madoka replies with a smile on her face. She must mean it too, because she scoots a little closer to him! Her cheeks blush warmly at the mention of the dance. She looks away from the puzzle and smiles at him, turning pink eyes upwards to meet the green of his. "That will always be one of my happiest memories. I don't think I'll ever forget it, Takashi-kun. ...and not just because you kissed me either." She doesn't bother suppressing the giggle that comes.

    After another moment she notes, "I really love Teddyashi, too. He's wonderful... exactly the kind of thing I like."

There's no denying that Takashi is making a lot of progress on his end - still working from that singular corner - but the rate at which he's working is substantially faster.

When she comes closer, he can't help but put an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. Almost sharply, almost a little greedily. "I'm really glad to have had some time with you again. I kinda felt bad because... some of the things that were said at that meeting got me thinking, and I wanted to go home and plan." he admits. That's mostly true anyways. "So I was leaving. I stayed to argue but I didn't stay just to spend time with you." he admits, quietly, another two peices coming together.

"I still kinda feel bad for that."

    Madoka has split her progress between two offset corners, and as such her pace is suffering even more than it normally would. This, however, is not something she sees as any kind of bad thing. The point of the puzzle for her is to have fun and slowly see the picture come together, not to race straight to the finish.

    The arm goes around her and pulls her greedily to him. Her cheeks flush once more and she smiles, almost like that's exactly what she was hoping and waiting for.

    Becuase, well... it was.

    She leans into him, making a happy sign and slowing even a little more, because her arm slips around behind him as well. "I'm really happy to spend more time with you also, Takashi-kun." Back comes the topic of the meeting and she nods lightly. "It's okay, you don't have to feel bad. We didn't go to the meeting in order to see each other. I would always like to spend more time with you, but I know you're busy."

    It would honestly be nice to spend some real together time with school resuming in another week, she thinks. But that's exactly what they're doing right now.

Takashi is noticing her progress, but he also figures it would be impolite to say anything. But like some other small things, it digs at him.

"I wish I could spend some more time with you too, but I just feel like a lot of the stuff I work with would be really boring to you." he says, after a moment. "I guess I don't really know that, but it's just a feeling I have - I don't see you hunched over a computer tablet looking at graphs or holding a beaker."

"Not that you wouldn't still look adorable in a lab coat." Hmmm. Adorable. That's a... that's the right word, but why does it sound odd.

    Madoka almost completes one side of the puzzle. Ok, one edge of if it; one of the short ones. There's one piece missing. There's a few moments when she's sure she has the right one, but when she goes to put it in it simply will not fit. It's impossible- the connections are all wrong. She tries to fit it in anyway, knowing it's impossible.

    After another two tries she's really wondering what's up, only to get an epiphany. She turns the piece around 180 degrees. Almost immediately she notices it fits into the a spot near where Takashi is working on. She reaches over and slips it into place with a single finger like he did a little bit ago, looking up to him with a bright smile, thinking she's done well.

    "Hm. I don't know how boring it would be. It's hard to imagine anything would be boring if it meant I got spending time with you. Your academics are so far ahead of mine that I probably wouldn't understand what you were doing. It might be nice just to see though, since it'd mean spending more time together, right?"

    She giggles a little at the mention of how she'd look in a lab coat, "I could model one for you some time, maybe..." Blush!

Takashi can't help but frown a little at the way she's trying to force the peice in. He leans over a bit - and lets go of her a bit - to express this. "If you keep trying to force one in like that, you might bend it and then it won't fit even where it's supposed to." he says. He's mollified a bit when she makes it fit into a spot near him.

Takashi tilts his head. "Maybe I could have you around next time I'm working on something." he says, with a bit of a smile. "I was able to warn everyone about the dark energy zombie riot thing." There's really no easy way to condense what that was. There is also a little pride in his voice.

"I really could use someone to bounce ideas off." he says. "Science is really about peer review." That's not the first time he's said that recently. "Someone who can see what I miss, you know?"

    Madoka blushes for a different reason as she's admonished, laughing a little and looking chastised like Sailor Mars herself was here. "You're right, sorry. I'd... feel really bad if I broke the puzzle." She settles down a bit after that. Which actually means making even slower progress than she was before.

    "That sounds nice, Takashi-kun. It'd be really neat to get to see one of the places you spend a lot of your time." He has been to her house, after all. She might have been expecting an invitation to see his some time, even if there wouldn't be any parents to meet. At the mention of the zombie thing she nods her head, "Yes! You warned me especially, too. I-" well, she can't quite say 'spent the night at Homura's house' without ruining the date, she thinks, "...stayed inside."

    She hums a little at the mention of peer review before looking embarrassed, "I don't know if I could do that for you. I could maybe look for things you missed, if you let me know what to look for. And I might have good ideas!" She's trying to be positive, but it's hard when the subject is science related.

Takashi stuffs up for a moment. He uh. Does not have a house. He might have to actually get one. It's not like he can walk anyone else (especially Madoka) into UMBRA for a visit. It's not something that he ever considered would be a problem. "Sure, but it might be a while." Long enough for him to find something to call a home away from home.

He shakes his head. "Don't worry." he says, looking into her eyes, understanding why she delayed. "My first priority was making sure you were safe. I was... hurt in a fight before. The one I talked about last night. So I couldn't be there for you. It was important someone was."

"Well, it couldn't hurt to try. Sometimes an extra set of eyes helps. And sometimes if I'm overthinking someone, just a second look might work." Takashi has a reasonable idea that a lot of the things he does are over people's heads - but he might not be consciously aware of just how much. After all, his usual social interactions tend to consist of his own familiar and two mages hailing from a vastly advanced other world.

    Madoka nods her head a little. It does confuse her but she's not about to make any snap judgments based off of it. The insecure part of her would say he just doesn't want her in his house, but that part of her has lost the vast majority of it's voice over the last several months, especially about simple interpersonal things like this.

    She looks relieved when he tells her not to worry, taking him at his word and relaxing. But then once he finishes she shakes her head, "No, that's not true, Takashi-kun. You were there for me. If it hadn't been for your call I would have been out in the middle of the Mitakihara District when all that was happening. I might even have ended up smashing things up myself." No one told her exactly how that dark energy was spread.

    "If it couldn't hurt I'd think it would be fun, getting to see you work. I'd feel really happy if I even did one small thing to help you out, too!" It's right about then that she remembers they are supposed to be doing a puzzle, and starts looking for pieces to fit again. "What kind of science do you do, Takashi-kun? Science means a lot of different things!"

Takashi smiles, and he takes Madoka's compliment in stride. It helps him feel a lot better about being laid up for an evening and a day. "I'm glad I was able to protect one of the people I care about." he adds.

"Well, that depends. I'm in the Science Club at Infinity, but that's really more so people don't pressure me into other clubs." he says with a grin. "A lot of the stuff I do is related to magic. Really, magic is just energy that behaves under different rules. Energy is my forte." he adds. Another few peices slot in as he just picks them from the pile while talking.

"How energy behaves, how it's used as a weapon, how it can change people and things. The way energy waves work. And the way you can use the rules of energy - positive energy, negative energy - to change the way the world works. That's why I was so curious about... someone's time powers. I can't help but think that's energy breaking another law, a big law, of nature"

    Madoka giggles a little at the admission of why he's in the Science club at Infinity. When he starts explaining about magic she blinks in honest surprise. "Science based on magic?" She looks like she's actually having a pretty hard time understand how such a thing is even possible.

    So far as she knows Infinity certainly doesn't have any classes relating to that at all. "I guess I probably wouldn't know very much about your science after all." She puts another couple of pieces of the puzzle into place, starting to work on the inside pieces now that the edge is complete. This takes longer since there are so many different options.

    "I thought magic was... mysterious and unknowable? That it wasn't something anyone could really understand," Madoka admits. Isn't... that the whole point of calling it 'magic' in the first place?

"Any sufficently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic." Takashi says, in English, then says it again in Japanese. "That's a famous quote. It's easy to call something magic when you don't understand it. If we went back in time with vaccines they'd call them miracles. The difference is knowing how they work."

"Now, magic itself - it's still fundamentally different than anything we know of. Than anything most pepole understand. But it has rules, just like nature - just like physics and chemistry. They're just harder to suss out, and they require different things. Like emotion. Emotion powers magic to such a great deal. It's why Dark Energy or labrynths make you sad or queasy." Takashi eludicdates, and he's actually fitting peices in /faster/ now because he's engaged his brain as he explains the basics to Madoka.

"It's still dangerous to assume I understand it completly - because I don;t - but there are some rules and I can apply them. It's how I figured out the mob was going to riot."

    Madoka understands the English quote but gets a bit more nuance from the Japanese version. "I guess that makes sense..." she responds, sounding a little skeptical. She can't help but make a bit of a tiny frown as he uses the word 'miracles' specifically. "But... there are real, true miracles, Takashi-kun. Maybe science can explain why they happen, but I don't think it could explain how."

    She's quiet for a little while, thinking about the miracle that is being offered to her. She's directly seen the results of two of these herself- Kyousuke's healed hands and Homura's timetravel. Sure, someone with sufficiently powerful healing magic might have been able to help Kyousuke, but Homura's granted magic to go back in time and try to save her over, and over again? She can't see that as science.

    What he continues to say only proves to confuse her further. Feelings power magic? That's something she can understand. She can actually understand very well why that would work. But to hear it talked about in such calculating terms... "People's feelings aren't something that should be used like a tool. Using the emotions inside your heart to protect someone or something you care about, that sounds right. But using those feelings to turn on a light bulb instead? That's..." She looks down, feeling a little sad.

    It's not exactly what he said, but it's where her mind goes when the mix of technology and magic are concerned. Using something so precious to power your everyday life? Something about that just doesn't sit right with her, and in this modern world it's not hard to see how that might quickly become the case were magic to become widespread.

    Though, she reminds herself, he said emotion powered it a great deal not entirely. She smiles a little when he mentions figuring out the dark energy riot, slipping her arm around his and leaning into him a little. Maybe it's not so bad as all that, and she's just over thinking things.

    Though it also makes her think a little bit more about the boy next to her. "Do... you feel sad and queasy a lot, Takashi-kun?" she asks, pink eyes once more seeking green as she gives him a look of concern.

Takashi tilts his head at Madoka. "Maybe not right now, but I'm not willing to assume it would never be forever. Like... take , my halberd. It grows from a charm to weapon, it lets wield ice at will, and the parts of it that are ice never melt. It's definantly magic. But I also built it myself. I understand how it works. It's technology, science that drives that magic."

"I guess what I meant to say is, just because you understand something doesn't make it any less magical, any less miraculous. Magic still subverts all of the other laws wek know. And even on a mundane level - you can understand how light in the atmopshere and the curve of the earth make a sunset, but that doesn't prevent you from enjoying it. Personally I think that makes it even more neat."

Takashi's continuing to do... well, more than his fair share of the puzzle as he talks, his eyes a bit ablaze. "Just because I know that a magical girl's fervor fuels her blasts doesn't make her any less, either. Just because I know that the beams of dark energy of a youma are fueled by anger doesn't make them less dangerous or scary. It just gives me insight on how to deal with them." On how to deal with them both - including the magical girl.

"I don't think you'll ever see magic being used like that. Even if energy itself can be taken, it still needs emotional power to focus it to a purpose. Most people aren't capable of that. It's still not something you can just throw around. You have to be in touch with your emotional heart."

And then Madoka asks a very dangerous question. To make matters worse, she asks while leaning against him - which puts his alarm bells just a little off. And he has to respond - so he responds in the least direct way possible. He'd rather not lie to her, but... "Everyone feels sad or bad sometimes. I deal with it when I do." he says, leaning back into her hugs. Madoka Kaname may be one of the ways he 'deals' with it.

    Madoka considers that for a few moments. She doesn't really know much about how his magical weapon works, and to her it's just that: a magical weapon. So it's surprising when he says it's actually science, technology, and something he made himself. "You made that, Takashi-kun?" she asks with widened eyes. "I thought it must be something you found, or was given to you." It's the sort of thing that has to make her seriously re-evaluate the person next to her. That she's impressed would be an understatement, and she's never been able to keep emotion from her face. "Wow..."

    His particular spin on being able to know how things work and also appreciate them for their aesthetic beauty also seems to do a pretty job of convincing her. She's starting to think that she really was over reacting. "So it's like knowing a rainbow is a rainbow because raindrops are prisms, but still being able to see how beautiful the rainbow is?" It's almost exactly the same analogy he used, only several grade levels behind. "I see! Okay, that's not so bad after all. Especially if it means you can figure out when something awful is about to happen and prevent it from being even worse."

    Madoka nods softly to him when he answers her question, smiling as he leans into the hugging. "If you ever need help dealing with it, I'd be happy to help, Takashi-kun. I think it's okay to feel that way as long as you do deal with it. Though I don't like the idea of you being sad..." Madoka doesn't like the idea of anyone being sad.

    She may have forgotten she's supposed to be helping with the puzzle. It's actually pretty fun watching him put it together so quickly on his own.

Takashi stops for a moment - he's still hugging Madoka, but he's got a far off stare. Did he reveal too much, by admitting the weapon wasn't found, but manufactured? Would Madoka ask questions, or tell someone who would?

Takashi quickly decides that the best way to keep that from happening is to not give her any reason to see the act except in the best light. "I understood this kind of magic - it's not native to Earth - but I couldn't use it to help people. I named it 'Eiszapfen' - that's German for icicle, because the system of magic these people use is written in something that's nearly indistinguishable from modern German." Takashi dangles the little charm off the silver chain it hangs from his wrist by.

"Like that, yes, Madoka-chan." he says. He doesn't sound entirely convinced - maybe it is the childishness of her analogy. "Right. If I understand something, I can influence it - I can make it stronger or stop it, depending on wether it's good or bad." Though not necessarily in that order. "That's why I'm always trying to better my intelligence, to understand things.I spend a lot of my free time doing that. My intellect is my best gift." Second best is firing big beams of black energy out of his hands, but that's not a point to bring up here.

"This puzzle really isn't anything compared to what I do all day..." there's a pause. "...it might have been too much for you, I guess." he admits, apologetically. It's not, of course, that Madoka couldn't have finished, it's just the massive difference in time between the two of them that he's keenly aware of now.

    Madoka giggles a little at the name of the device. "'Icicle' is a cute name for a weapon made of ice." She giggles again a moment later, "Especially when it's being used by a Frost Knight!" The naming scheme might be a little simplistic and off the cuff but she seems to enjoy it for what it is. She's a little tempted to reach out and touch the little charm as he shows it off, but decides against it. Maybe she will some time, but not without asking first.

    "Hm. You really were born with a lot of wonderful gifts, Takashi-kun. You're really smart, and you're ambitious enough to use it." She's known plenty of people that lack one or the other. Someone with heaping quantities of both is pretty rare. "And... even if it can be dangerous," can be, not 'is', "you started out with some magic. I'm really surprised you can do so much in both the magical world and the mundane world... and you're not even in high school yet! I can't help but think you're going to be the kind of person who changes the world, some day."

    She shakes her head a little at the apologetic tone of his comment, "It's okay, Takashi-kun. You're enjoying yourself and I'm having fun watching you. And maybe I even helped out a tiny bit!"

Madoka's giggling brings something else to the fore - he's not actually nearly as happy with the name of his henshin as Madoka is. It's something he came up with off the cuff, in a panic when Ayana brought Madoka to him. That feels like forever ago.

His eyes drift to the puzzle, to Madoka, and back. "I still have so much further to go." he says. In so many ways. Education. Magic. Success. He looks down at Madoka, and looks at her a very long time. "What do you want, Madoka-chan?" he asks, finally. "Like... what do you dream of. What do you want to do. You know about magic, but... I mean in general, too."

He sits back. The puzzle is unfinished - though close - but now he's focused on something else.

    Madoka isn't the oblivious type, so as her giggles and happiness seem not to be rubbing off on him like they had in the past she calms down a little. She's still staying close though.

    "Hm? Hmm..." The question puts thoughtful look on her face and she regards it seriously. It takes her a minute or so. "When I think about everything I want in life, I think in the end the most important thing is that I want to help people." She considers for a moment how much to say, and in the end decides to go with full honesty. "Even just a little while before I met you I was always very worried I wouldn't amount to anything. I've never really been the smartest person around, or the best at anything. I've always relied on the people around me a little just to get by. I thought that might be how I'd always go through life, and it made me sad."

    She looks up to him, and then closes her eyes and smiles, "But then I've found how much I can do to help people... Volunteering at the hospital has shown me just how much even someone like me, with few talents, can help. Sometimes I can help people just by listening to them or telling them about my day." Her eyes open back up and she looks down to the puzzle, though they don't focus on it. "When I first learned that magical girls were real, and that I had the potential to become one myself, I thought that would be amazing. To be able to fight and protect people that can't protect themselves. It's exactly the kind of thing I'd like to do, the kind of person I'd like to be. ...but I've also learned just how much magical girls themselves need friendship and support. And so even if I'm not helping fight monsters and witches directly, I'm helping the people who are."

    "Sorry, I guess I rambled on there for a bit." Madoka gives a small shake of her head and shrugs lightly. "I'm not sure what exactly it is I want to do with my life, but whatever it is I know I want to help people, whether it's protecting them or just making them smile."

"I'm... surprised." he admits. "You... just from interacting with you at that dance, I could see you were special. I... I'm really not sure how you couldn't see it." he adds. It's almost supposed to be reassuring, but his incredulousness and confusion might be killing that pretty dead. "I can't really... imagine what it would be to feel that way." Takashi admits.

"I dunno... I just feel like even if I didn't have any 'natural talent' I'd still want to work to develop some. Like... I wasn't this smart without the effort." he says. He's not trying to demean Madoka, just work out what it would even be like to be that way. "So I'm glad you've found something that is a way for you to contribute!"

"Helping people is important. But I also think it's important to help yourself. Like they say on planes; you should affix your own mask before helping others."

    Madoka flushes in embarrassment at his surprise, "It's only recently that I've had anyone treat me like I was special. Um, other than my parents of course." She looks down and shakes her head slightly, "And it isn't like I had no talent or skills. There was just always someone who was better than me at everything I tried. It felt like I was surrounded by all these amazing people and I was just someone struggling along in the background. Sayaka-chan was always really athletic, Hitomi-chan is so graceful and knows all about how to be a proper lady, and both of them are very confident in themselves."

    She then looks up to him with a bright smile, "That, and Mama is really an amazing woman! I know people always have high hopes for me when they meet her, but I can't help but think I'll never be as cool as she is." Her voice is almost entirely cheerful when she talks about Junko; she's very proud to have such a great mother.

    Affix your own mask before helping others? She considers that for a moment, but then shakes her head. "Maybe on a plane that makes sense... but actually, I think I helped myself by helping others," she states, emphasis on the 'by'. "Maybe I'll never be a doctor, or a scientist who finds out how to cure a major disease, but the world needs people who are just there to help people one at a time. Especially when those people are vulnerable in the hospital or..."

    She trails off only to look contemplative for a moment before looking up at Takashi again, a soft, sweet smile set upon her face. "It's like you said, if a lot of the power of magic comes from emotion, it's very important to make sure magical girls are supported. It makes me really happy that I've been able to be there for some of them when they've needed it."

Takashi looks at Madoka as she seems to take it in a bit more of a shocked way. He relaxes his grip on her and actively sighs a bit, and then he looks into her eyes. "Really, I don't understand that. Like..." He's trying not to be insulting here, but on the other side, the thing she's saying make no sense to him - in fact, they go against something at the very core of his being. "...it sounds like you had accepted mediocrity."

"Like... if someone was better than me at something I really cared about, I'd work so hard I'd surpass them, eventually. I could never settle for not getting something I really wanted, or being something I wanted to be."

"Your mother... you keep talking about how amazing she is, but I'm sure she doesn't settle for second place either. She doesn't strike me as the type. Why won't you ever be a doctor, a scientist?" He gets quiet, because he almost doesn't want to say this, but he also can't find it in himself to entirely resist. "If you tell yourself that, then yes, that makes it true..."

"If you want to help people, you should be the best at that you can - you shouldn't just give people hope, you should become a beacon of hope." Takashi looks at the puzzle she's stopped working on. The difference in output is just staggering, and he looks back to her. And now he's very quiet.

    Madoka shakes her head, "It isn't like that, Takashi-kun. I didn't accept it, I was really sad when I thought about it. It isn't like I didn't try... It just didn't seem to matter whether I tried a little or a lot. I think it might be really hard for you to understand because you were born so talented, Takashi-kun. You are very smart, maybe even the smartest in the whole city based off your grades. You're taking a whole bunch of college classes in middle school. I don't really blame you if you can't understand what it's like to be in the middle, because you're at the top of almost everything you do."

    She smiles a little and shakes her head, "And I'm not taking it for granted- I know that you've worked really, really hard to get to where you are! You're really amazing; I've felt very lucky to be able to be around someone like you. Especially if you think I'm special... that just means all the more to me because of it."

    Her head shakes quickly, "She doesn't. Whenever there's something she wants she goes out and she gets it." She actually giggles, "The only reason she doesn't move up even faster is because she hasn't decided she wants it yet." There's a small shake of her head then, "Don't be silly, Takashi-kun. I'm not smart enough to be a real doctor. To be one you have to learn everything about the way the body works and then also know how chemicals work, and you have to be able to think fast and on your feet and if you're not good enough people can die. Even to be a doctor you have to be really good with science, and it's never been something I've done very well at."

    His last words are the ones that affect her the most. She lets go of him and is quiet for almost a minute, looking away to some point on the wall. Her expression is almost completely neutral, as can happen when she's thinking even more deeply than when she gets her usual thoughtful expression.

    "That's true, I could do that. I could be the one that saves and protects people, myself. But I've promised not to do that. Because if I did it might mean giving up everything. Is it better to help a lot of people now but not for very long, or to only help one or two people at a time but keep doing it for a long time?" This is something she's obviously spent a lot of time thinking on, and her voice has a certain resolve to it that it rarely does.

    She finally looks back to Takashi, lifting her chin as she looks up to him, "I have the potential to become a Puella Magi. An amazing one, too, if I can believe what people have said to me. So should I be mediocre and live a long life but not live up to my potential, or should I sell my life in exchange for power and shine as bright as the sun and be a beacon of hope... only to probably die young, break the hearts of my friends, never let my mother see me grow up, never have a family of my own... should I give up all of that just so I'm not 'mediocre'?"

Takashi just shrugs. "Maybe you're right, and we're just coming at this from different directions. I just... I know I could never stand not being on top." he admits. It's not said in a prideful manner this time, just an honest one. "I probably wouldn't be happy if I couldn't claim it at least somewhere, and I'd probably work myself sick at something trying to get there, even if I couldn't." He's not claiming it as a good thing - just his own personal views, from the way he's talking.

"And you know, I'm sure there's something only you can do, Madoka-chan. I'm sure there's a role for you that you will be the best at, if you can find it and apply yourself. I know I'd be looking.

"But you're right. I probably don't understand. I tend to pick things up really fast, especially where intelligence is involved." That much IS boasting. "I don't know what it'd be like trying to understand, I dunno, another world's magical system without the benefit of it."

"Either of us could die tomorrow - humans, we're just a freak accident away from the end our lives, and we don't even have to do anything to earn it... me, if I'm going to die, I'd like to earn it. Because of what I do, the likihood I'll die young is greater than yours, but it's a trade I've been willing to make, and it's been very fufilling for me. And it's a risk I can mitigate with skill and intelligence; I can do something about it. I'm still here despite some close calls, you know."

"I can tell you if it was me... I'd take the risk and burn as bright as the sun itself, rather than being a candle hidden under a hood, and even if something happened to me... my impact on the world would be unmistakable. And if I played my cards right, I'd stay safe and I'd have that impact."

"But what you feel is going to be different than what I feel. There's no way I'd feel... fufiflled, just standing on the sidelines and cheering others on. It's not to say it's not important - just that it's not something I could stand doing myself. I want to make my mark."

    Madoka smiles brightly when he says there's probably something that only she can do. "Having people who tell me that I'm special and wonderful just the way I am has helped a lot. And trust me, Takashi-kun, if there ever is something I think that only I can do, I'll do it. I'm not... running away from being what I can be, I'm just not as worried about not being able to be something I can't anymore. I think we are just seeing this from two very different points of view... and I think that's okay! People don't always have to agree on everything, they just have to get along when they don't."

    Her smile then turns to something a little more sad, bittersweet maybe. How many times has she almost died, only to be saved by others? She knows very well just how quickly life can end. It was made pretty clear to her when she thought Mamoru had been killed. But being a Puella Magi is different, and from the way Takashi speaks it's clear to her he doesn't know very much about them or their particular hardships. It's because of this that she can't consider his opinion an informed one.

    "That's the choice you would make, but it's not the one I'm making. It... isn't easy. I can't help but think how wonderful it would be to protect the things I care about from harm. But right now the cost is just too high. If it's like you say, and there's something only I can do, then maybe. But until then I think I actually am happy cheering others on. I'm happier now than I have been since I was a little kid." She closes her eyes and laughs a little once she finishes speaking, really meaning what she said.

Takashi shrugs a bit, looking down at the puzzle. He joins his much larger parts with the last of Madoka's, and it's finally finished.

"Definantly two different points of view." he agrees. "I just don't..." He stops mid conversation. Words are not usually a difficult thing for him, and he seems perplexed. "I don't know. I feel like this is an important thing for /us/ to agree on." He means the 'relationship' us, not just as two individual people.

It's clear she disagrees, to some level, with her personal investment on burning out or not, and he nods. "...I do understand if you feel differently about becoming a magical fighter. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some part of me that has always wanted to keep you safe and out of all of this."

He looks at her. "But it's hard to see you not shining as bright as you could be, I guess. And you keep getting yourself into dangerous circumstances anyways..." (and Takashi doesn't even know all of those! And wasn't responsible for them all!)

    Madoka was admittedly not really trying to do the puzzle at all once the conversation had gotten heavy. Whether that's something worth reading into or not is itself debatable. "It looks really nice!" she says once the two sections are placed together to form one whole.

    When Takashi seems to not entirely agree with her assessment that it's okay to disagree, at least on this subject, she tilts her head a little and looks up. "I don't understand? It's not something I really dwell on anymore like I used to. When I thought about it all the time and worried over finding something I thought I was the best at it made me miserable." Her lips purse a tiny bit and her eyebrows draw together slightly, "Besides, isn't volunteering at the hospital as much as I do pretty amazing? A lot of people say so, especially the nurses I'm assisting."

    It's hard not seeing her shine as bright as she could? She's actually not sure how to take that. Though she's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt since she did just say she was turning away the chance to become magical. "Tokyo is becoming a very dangerous place to live. Maybe it was just that I didn't know magic was real back then, but I never remembered it being so dangerous and scary. It seems like there's something new to be worried about every couple of weeks," she notes about getting into danger.

Takashi had, admittedly, been doing the puzzle almost on autopilot. A lot of his focus has shifted to Madoka in various ways. It's still hard to hear some of this talk. "It took longer than I thought." he says lowly. It's not meant as a dig, just an observation.

On Madoka's time at the hospital - that's an interestinq question to answer. "It's certainly commendable!" he says, brightly. But that's not the question she asked. Inwardly, Takashi is focusing more on the way she asked the question - asking about 'as much as I do' - and finding the fact that she devotes a lot of time to it to be just a fact - it's different from the quality that she probably brings. "It's also something you were very good at. I almost thought when I asked about becoming a doctor, you might have mentioned being a nurse."

"There's no denying that -Tokyo becomes a stranger, more dangerous place every day, in small ways. There's something unique about this town that draws magically inclined people and things here."

    Madoka is actually pretty surprised by his comment about the puzzle. She thought that went together pretty fast for a thousand piece puzzle. She considers for a moment before asking, "Did you bring another one, Takashi-kun?"

    "I think I could be a nurse," Madoka replies happily to his statement. "In a lot of ways what they do is actually harder than what the doctors. It's just... being a doctor takes a pretty specific set of skills, and they're not ones I'm that great at. Being a nurse is more about attention to detail and being able to relate well with patients, though. Also, being a mediocre nurse isn't nearly as dangerous as being a mediocre doctor, which can be really dangerous. I don't think I'd be mediocre at all if I decided to be a nurse, though."

    She doesn't say anything more about Tokyo becoming magically charged, instead just giving a nod because it's become a simple truth.

There's that word again. It's gotten to the point where it drags at him like nails across a chalkboard - mediocre. Thankfully she pulls herself back at the end, but only at the end. Takashi shakes his head. "No, I only brought this one." he admits. If he thought it'd go faster, why didn't he bring more than one? That's a reasonable question.

"I do think you'd relate well to most people." he says. "You're good at connecting to everyone and making them feel good." Then it's like he's gotten a small moment of awareness. "Including me."

He looks at Madoka. "I think that's one of the reasons I've liked spending time with you. Because you've made me feel good, and feel happy, and you care about me."

But, he's rapidly coming to understand, Madoka Kaname makes him feel good about who he is in the moment - but she doesn't challenge him. She's wonderful, warm, and cute - but some concepts go over her head, and she has a harsh view of her own intellectual and scientific capacity.

Takashi starts putting the puzzle back into the box without saying anything, because he's too busy thinking about all of that. And the question pops into his head - is he -just- happy around Madoka, or is he actually /better/ for being with her? And... if she just makes him happy, couldn't that be enough?

    It's exactly the question she's wondering. This is an actual date, right? She expects to be spending the whole night with him unless something important comes up, and even if it took longer than expected if it was supposed to end when the puzzle was finished that doesn't say much for how much time he intended to spend with her. Still, Madoka thinks, there's no reason to assume he isn't planning on taking her out to eat or go see a movie. ...though considering where he takes friends out to eat maybe he might have asked her to wear a very nice dress for that. She hums softly to herself.

    She smiles rather happily when he agrees that she's good at connecting to people, and it brightens even more when he realizes and includes himself. She scoots a little closer to him, leaning close and hugging him around the middle. "I'm you're girlfriend, silly. Those are exactly the reasons you should like spending time with me. There's lots of fun things we can do together, but the most important part is the 'together'."

Takashi had some more plans. But he couldn't think of what they were now. He'd told Madoka to meet him, he's planned to spend the evening with her again - but now, and perhaps for the first time in a while, that's not the most appealing thing to him.

This is why when she's moving close to him, rather than hugging or leaning against her, he actually /stiffens up/ for the first time since she gets near him. It's more about his thoughts than her, but it's there. And it's undeniable, unlike his ability to just be quiet.

"Is there something else you'd like to do today?" he asks, trying to sort himself out. Yeah, he'd like to go home and think about this, but that would probably upset Madoka and that's still not a thing he desires to do.

"I do like spending time with you." he adds, quieter. Because he does. It's putting the emphasis on what that means that has him trying to work everything out logically - and something like this may not be entirely driven by logic.

    Madoka is nothing if not perceptive, so when he stiffens up she pauses, and then quietly pulls away. She's suddenly studying the art on the puzzles box rather intently. Her eyebrows come together and she doesn't respond right away when he asks his question. It isn't 'what do you want to go do next' or 'hey, why don't we go do this'. It's definitely not 'lets just sit here together a while', either.

    She fidgets a little, "There is, but I think Mama and Papa wanted to have dinner tonight..."

    It's a lie. Madoka almost never lies, and when she does it's really, really obvious. Like right now. She wants to spend the rest of the evening with him but it's pretty clear to her that he doesn't, so she's giving him an excuse he can grab onto to let it end early without having to make something up himself.

    That, or the chance to salvage things by suggesting she should blow her family off to spend more time with him.

Takashi sighs. It's easy to tell when Madoka is lying - probably as easy as it was for her to pick up on his reaction now. And yet, it's still Madoka. He eases up a bit - just at the fact she'd say that in order to give him a way to duck out without being mean to her. "Madoka-chan - you're still pretty great." he says, opening with that. And it's heartfelt, and he means it.

"But... I'm not sure if I should keep you from your... your dinner with your parents." he says, after a bit. Dinner with parents is not actually what he means, but it's much easier than making it about any sort of part of their relationship.

"I've had some wonderful times with you, and part of me would really like some more. But part of me doesn't want you to waste your time, not when you have... dinner to eat."

    Madoka gives a small smile at his compliment and she can tell that it's genuine. She nods a little in understanding when he accepts her offered excuse. She's about to slip out of her seat and stand up when he keeps talking.

    She freezes, slowly blinking twice before turning her head to look up at him. She first looks confused, but that expression soon fades away into simply being stunned.

    Madoka returns to a normal sitting position while looking at him, studying his eyes and his face. "You... really mean that, don't you? You really think spending more time with me like this would just be a waste of my time..."

There's a pause, and Takashi looks up - and it's perhaps a rare moment of a strange kind of caring, but still a bit tainted by the energy that still courses within him. And honesty. The stunned look, followed by the curious study she's doing, makes him feel like she deserves an explanation, at least.

"You're great, and being around you makes me feel happy, usually - there's a magical spark about you that makes you special. It makes me like being around you."

He looks into her eyes. "And the way you made me feel made me almost kiss you once, and then actually kiss you later, when you went through all the trouble of setting up that wonderful dance." Takashi adds, hands in his lap a bit now. This is not by any means a normal look for Takashi. There is a little war in his mind, his heart, his emotions, over saying this or not. Over how to say it. Over if how he feels in any direction is even legitimate. It's a long pause before he continues.

"But lately I haven't been, because I feel a bit mendacious, and I keep getting reminded of... problems I see. I like hugging you, I like being near you and with you. It makes me happy. But I think I'm taking advantage of you and wasting your time, yes."

"...because I keep having trouble with... I think we're very different under the surface, Madoka-chan."

    Madoka is very quiet and still as he talks. Normally she's at least a little animated but right now she's both slightly in a state of shock and intent on making sure she understands exactly what he says. She does smile a little when he mentions the two times he tried to kiss her, failing once and succeeding a second time.

    When he finishes she looks away from him and down at the floor, the angle of her head causing her bangs to cast a shadow over her face. It puts her eyes upon her shoes, which she got just to go with this outfit. She feels her eyes begin to sting, just a little bit.

    "...I don't know what that means," Madoka finally says, quietly. Mendacious. I don't think I've ever heard that word before... That's part of what you mean, isn't it? I think we are very different, but I thought that was one of the things that made it so interesting being around you. But if being close, and cared for, and hugging a lot and dancing together isn't enough. If you need a girlfriend who is as ambitious, or as smart as you are... I guess it probably wouldn't work out."

    She stands up but looks unsure what to do once she does. "I don't think it was a waste of time, though. I've had a lot of fun spending time with you, Takashi-kun. I think I still would, if you also had fun with me."

    She steps over to him and gives him a hug. It's a light one, a gentle one. "You've been nothing but a complete gentleman to me. You've made me feel wonderful and special and I'll cherish it always. Especially the dances." She pulls away and takes a few steps before looking back. Her eyes meet his for the first time since she looked away, tears in them threatening to spill over and a bittersweet smile on her face, "And...thank you for being honest with me."

Takashi nods a bit. Being embarassed isn't really his thing. Then again, neither is being honest, usually. Why he felt the need to be so nice can only be explained by the fact that Madoka was so nice to him, perhaps. That she was so caring. And that he would've felt wrong being cruel to her, or leading her on - even with the black energy that sometimes flowed through him.

"It means false, essentially." he says, quietly. "I didn't want to lead you on. When I started feeling this way, I wasn't sure it was right to hide it from you anymore." he says. "That's what I mean. I didn't want to waste your time. And you've been... absolutly wonderful, which makes me even more sure that the last thing I need to do is... not be honest with you about how I'm feeling."

"You're probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and I feel bad because somehow it seems like I'm being... really unfair to you."

"Really, the dance was so sweet of you." It's obvious Takashi is actually having a lot of problems coming to terms with his feelings - but is that really new to him?

    "That must be why it feels so sudden, if you're only just starting to realize it now," Madoka responds. It's kind of odd how it doesn't seem to hurt any more, saying that. "You've been wonderful to me too, Takashi-kun. Even if it hurts now, though, I am glad you're being honest with me." A small pause and she adds, "And honest with yourself, too."

    When he tells her that she's of the best things to ever happen to him two things happen. The tears building up in her eyes let go and spill down her cheeks and her smile brightens and warms to almost match the cheerful, happy one she wore when she greeted him earlier. "Thank you, Takashi-kun. That really means a lot to me."

    A moment's pause and she turns away before the reality of the situation drives the smile off of her face, "...I'll see you in homeroom, Takashi-kun."

    She leaves the booth and walks numbly towards the exit of the Game Crown Center. She's almost through the door when she realizes someone is calling out to her, only to find the attendant reminding her to get her things. She almost walked out into the cold winter's day in summer clothes.

    A few minutes later she's bundled back up as she exits the building, walking away in a daze.