It's been a couple of days since Homura and Kyouko ran across each other, and considering what happened last time they probably aren't too happy with each other right now. Thing is, Homura's too despondant to care.
Madoka might not notice, because Homura's always happy around Madoka, but she isn't here right now, so Homura's nagging listlessness has time to set in. Her eyes seem to lack her usual intensity, and even her walk seems kindof aimless.
She's going down the street. She's not in henshin, but her Soul Gem is out, held in the palm of her hands. She's looking for a Witch, probably. Gotta restock after Walpurgisnacht.
It just so happens that in her search for a Witch, Homura has crossed Kyouko's path. It's not really that hard to believe, considering that Kyouko both lives and works in Mitakihara- she has to walk to and from her conbenie, not to mention on any other business she might have.
She's not hunting, though. This is immidiately apparent. First of all, she's not in henshin- she's wearing the coat that Usagi gave her. Second of all, she's limping slightly, and walking with a cane.
Well, it's not really a cane. It's just a polished stick of wood with a little head-piece on top. In truth, it belongs to the old lady who runs the store- she uses it to get things down from high shelves. Kyouko has borrowed it for a few days.
Using that Altered Grief Seed at Walpurgisnacht had been rough on her. She's not actually injured in any way, nor are her powers gone, but she's still very weak. Her strength is slowly returning, day by day, but for now she's still using that borrowed stick to support herself on her walk to and from work, else her knees might buckle before she gets there.
She wasn't looking for Homura, or any other sort of trouble. She just happens to run into her, on a sidewalk that isn't exactly crowded, but nor is it empty. People walk by, and at first it almost seems like Homura might go right past her without Kyouko even noticing, so focused is she on her slow but steady walk homewards.
But she does notice, a moment later, her head lifting and she half-turns. "Hey. Homura." She calls. Her voice is firm, if a bit tired-sounding.
Homura stops in her tracks as she hears her name being called. She pauses, for a moment, as if unsure if she should even respond. She still hasn't found a Grief Seed after using all of them (except for Hana's, which she wont use) after Walpurgisnacht. If this becomes a fight, then it's a fight that Homura can't afford to have.
After a moment, her Soul Gem vanishes, and she turns around to face Kyouko. The tiredness in Kyouko's voice, and the way she spoke casually instead of aggressively, and the fact that Kyouko's not really in henshin right now, at least tells Homura that this will not be a fight this time.
Which only makes sense. There's really nothing to fight over right now.
Her own voice isn't exactly tired, but it's very distant. "Hey, Kyouko." It takes her a moment to even think of anything else to say. "What's up?" is all she manages.
It almost sounds like a friendly conversation, but Homura knows better. She's really only comfortable about this because Kyouko seems to have neither the inclination or energy to stab her right now.
Actually, that's kindof an interesting thing she's seeing right now, isn't it? Kyouko isn't the kind of person who would ever willingly show weakness, and yet here she is walking around with a cane. It's an odd sight to see. It's not hard to guess that she might need it, considering what kind of thing she did during Walpurgisnacht, and also considering how she pushed herself the day after, but it's still surprising to see Kyouko acknowledge that she needed it.
Though Homura can't put much more thought into it than that. There's a difference here. She dosn't really think about what the difference means.
"I see those Super Grief Seeds are still pretty rough on you. You seem to be taking it better this time around, though."
"Yeah, well." Kyouko chuckles a little bit, though there's a bit of an ironic edge to it. "Ask your buddy Miss White about that, I dunno. I really didn't expect to live through using a second one. Maybe I'm building up a tolerance. Not like there's an infinite supply though, so it won't matter." She doesn't mention that she does have a third one, squirrled away in her apartment. Hopefully she'll never have to use it, but she's not about to go blabbing about it. Just in case.
Kyouko really doesn't seem interested in fighting this time. This is likely due to the fact that she's well aware she's not in any shape to stand up to Homura... or anybody, really. A regular street punk could probably push her around without an issue. But it could be because of other reasons, too.
After a moment of silence, she says, "So, you really knew about the whole Witch thing, huh? I mean about.. what happens to us." There's no accusation in her voice, no blame or censure. She's asking because she wants to make sure she knows the truth before she says anything else.
Homura's head turns away. It's a little hard to see her eyes right now, because her bangs are a little lower than usual, and it's casting a shadow over her face. "... Yeah, I did. That was probably the darkest secret I was hiding, and now it's out."
She turns back towards Kyouko, her eyes still hidden. "I know Mami-san said I should've told people, but it's really not that simple. There are Puella Magi out there who have learned this and have decided to hunt down their own kind. Now that I'm in a timeline where Puella aren't the only kind of magical girl, that problem worries me even more."
She clenches her fist for a moment. She's tensing up. She isn't aiming her aggression at Kyouko specifically but she's clearly not happy right now. "So yeah. I knew. I know a lot of things about Puella Magi."
Kyouko is silent for a few moments more, regarding Homura. Unlike many other times, her red eyes aren't full of fire and aggression. More than anything she just looks exhausted. She looks for a good few seconds, and then she nods her head.
"I think you were right." She says finally, though her tone is neutral, neither approving nor disapproving. "I think you were right about not telling anybody." She switches her makeshift cane from one hand to the other, tapping the tip lightly on the ground as she leans her weight on it.
"You might know a lot about Puella Magi, Homura, but I know a lot about people. Most people are assholes, and most people will lash out out of fear, or mistrust, or just because it's easier to have a scapegoat to blame than to try an' actually fix your problems."
"It ain't hard for me to believe that some Puella would hunt others because of this. It also ain't hard for me to see somebody else doin' it too. "Puella are just Youma eggs, we should kill 'em now and save lives later", that sorta thing, right? Yeah I can see that."
"So I think you did the right thing. For me, it don't matter much. Ain't no changin' it now, right? Regardless of what they are.. who they were.. I gotta hunt Witches if I wanna keep on livin', and I do, so I'm gonna keep doin' it. And I ain't gonna kill anybody cause of what they one day might be, or do."
"Mami sees things too black and white. I think Saya-chan does too but.. I'll talk to her." She heaves a soft sight. "But you don't have to worry about me spreadin' this around. Cause like I said.. I think you were right."
Homura... actually relaxes, somewhat. She still doesn't like this topic, but... she believes what Kyouko says. She's had more than enough experience with her to believe it. "... Yeah. I mean. I guess I should've expected that. Everyone else breaks down in tears when they hear that, every single time. You always seemed to take it in stride."
"I mean..." She shrugs. None of this is really news to her. "We already knew this life sucked, so what's one more thing? Despair is what drives us to Witch, so when you kill one you're just putting an end to her suffering." 'Her' now, not 'it'.
She tilts her head, downward instead of off to the side like usual. "Sayaka-san and Mami-san are idealistic. They like their ideals, and like to consider themselves heroes. Things that damage their optimism are dangerous for them. If anyone can handle Sayaka-san best, though, it's probably you."
She crosses her arms in front of her chest, each hand gripping the opposite arm. "I don't intend to hunt Puella either. Not before they Witch. The way I see it, if they haven't Witched yet then they still have a chance to live their lives. No reason to deny them that. Especially since we kindof do need Puella Magi to handle things like Walpurgisnacht."
She lifs her head again, looking at Kyouko directly. "In case you were curious... I can confirm that the form you take when using one of those Super Grief Seeds is also the form of your Witch. Which is... why I never wanted to use those things."
"I wasn't curious." Kyouko says, making a face, "But I kinda figured. It only makes sense, y'know? Still. I'm still here so. I ain't gonna complain. I dunno if we woulda won anyway without me using it the other night, but I did use it and we did win, so. Not gonna question my choices now."
"Look," She says, taking a step closer. "Here's the simple truth. Mami and Saya-chan.. they're idealistic cause they ain't seem the worse parts of people. And that's good. To an extent. I know for a fact I wouldn't wish half the shit I've seen, I've been a part of, on Saya-chan. But I've seen. And I think you've seen, too."
"People like Mami, they think we turn into monsters when our Soul Gems turn dark, but the truth is we're already monsters. Not just Puella. People. Sometimes we can overcome our baser instincts.. I think Saya-chan helps me do that." She eyes Homura. "And I think Madoka-chan helps you do it. But it don't change what we are."
She shrugs. "Monster now, monster later. At least now I can choose how I act, at least to a point. But I've seen people, ordinary people, do worse shit than I ever seen a Witch do."
She shakes her head slightly, ponytail swaying. "Y'know, I finally think I understand you, Homura. A little, at least. I can see how knowin' this stuff all along would drive you crazy. I still don't think I like you.. but I think I get you."
"I'm not gonna criticize your choice. It's a lot of power. You found a way to control it, even if it's at a significant risk." Homura shrugs. "Every battle is a risk. Especially against a creature like that. For all we know using it actually increased your chances of survival. I don't know."
Homura drops her arms and places them in the pockets of her uniform. "All I know is that we did live, and we did win, against a Walpurgisnacht that was much stronger than any I've ever seen. So whatever we did, right or wrong, it must've been good enough."
Homura smiles, though it's a bitter smile, when Madoka's name is mentioned. "Yeah... you're right. Sayaka-san helps you, and Madoka-chan helps me, in roughly the same way. I also agree on how horrible people can be. There have been plenty of atrocities in this world that had nothing to do with a Witch."
"I also think, however, that maybe Sayaka has a habit of being to hard on herself. Mami too, really." Homura doesn't have any room to talk, but she doesn't seem to realize that. "Still... I think being around you helps Sayaka, too. You're... practical. Realistic. I think she needs that."
She looks away. "Yeah well... I mean. There's not much mystery left to me now. I'm pretty nuts, and I acknowledge that. Sane people don't behave like I do. A lot of the crazy stuff I do is something I learned would help me survive, but it's still sick and you don't have to like me for it."
"Yeah well, I'm just full of surprises, ain't I?" Kyouko smirks slightly, showing just a hint of fang, at Homura's seeming compliment about learning to control the power of the Super Grief Seed.
"I know." She says, when Homura says Sayaka can be too hard on herself. "I know because she's just like I used to be. I think that's what drew me to her in the first place, y'know?" She looks off to the side, her face pensive. "She's just like I wanted to be before.. everything. I don't want to see what happened to me happen to her. I don't want her to become.. like me. So I'm gonna do my best to make sure she doesn't have to. The world needs heroes, Homura. And if we ain't fit to be them, maybe at least we can help 'em on their way."
Then she laughs a little bit at Homura's admission of being insane. And, without really knowing why, she steps forward and hugs her. It's a one-armed hug, the other still holding her cane slightly out to one side- but it's a hug nonetheless. "You 'an me both, sister."
"You always were." Homura smirks. "I guess that's why, at the meeting, I didn't want to waste your time with a bunch of needlessly complicated plans. It was better to just tell you what to expect and let you make your own choices." She is complimenting her, but it doesn't feel like one to Homura. She's just acknowledging the facts. Being honest with herself is just another survival tactic.
Kyouko knows. Well of course she does. Kyouko probably knows Sayaka better in the past few months than Homura ever knew her in 12 years. It's the difference between being close and being distant. "Yeah... Yeah I think so to. I'm a very poor choice for a hero, and an even worst example, but I don't think it's wrong of them to want to be that, and I don't think it's wrong to help them either."
The hug is unexpected, especially from Kyouko, and in this timeline specifically, but she doesn't shy away from it. She wraps one arm around Kyouko, not showing more than she's been shown, and chuckling. "I still think we do good sometimes. Even if we aren't the best examples."
After a moment, Kyouko leans back from the hug, although she doesn't exactly pull away. There's a sense that she's actually leaning on Homura- that fight really did take a lot out of her, and maybe even if she doesn't want to admit it, having somebody to lean on for a sec is a welcome thing, even with the cane.
"Don't do that." She says, looking Homura in the eye, although there's nothing angry in her gaze.. just solid surety. "Don't talk like you know me that well. I don't care how many 'Kyouko Sakuras' you've met over the years. They ain't me, right? There's only one me, and she's right here. Whatever they did, just forget aboutit. Cause I don't wanna be compared to them, and they probably wouldn't wanna put their burdens on me, either, if they're anything like I am."
She does step back then, and casually straightens out her new coat. "I think we saved a lot of lives this weekend." She says. "And maybe we were just doin' it for selfish reasons. Maybe you just did it to protect Madoka, and maybe I just did it to keep Saya-chan safe. But that don't change the fact that a lot of people are alive now that might not have been if not for us.. and you were the one bangin' the drum about this whole thing, so. I think that's somethin' to feel good about, no matter the reasons."
"Fair enough." Homura doesn't really explain why she sees them as all the same, but the metaphysics of that isn't something she wants to think about, let alone argue about. "You're right. I don't know you that well."
Homura just releases her when Kyouko pulls away, her own arm falling to her side. It would be really rude to talk about what she does know about Kyouko, especially if it was for something as dumb as 'proving a point'. One could argue that knowing about Kyouko is not the same as knowing her anyways, and all of that is beside the point.
"I don't really think of it in terms of that. This is a new timeline. That's the whole point of going back in time: so that things will be different. Previous timelines sucked, a lot worse than this one. So if you wanna forget about all the timelines where things didn't work out? Or rather, not hear about them to begin with? Fine. I don't care about them. If I did I wouldn't have left them."
"This timeline is the only one that matters."
She listens to what Kyouko has to say about Walpurgisnacht, nodding a couple of times. "Well... keeping her safe is important... but it's not enough if she isn't happy. She wouldn't like seeing this whole city destroyed. Admittedly, one way or another, I did it for her."
"It's not that I wanna forget about them. Or that I want you to forget about them. Obviously you learned stuff there that's been helpful." Kyouko says, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "All I'm sayin' is, don't judge me by what some other Kyouko did. I'm the Kyouko here an' now, and I make my own choices." That, at least, has always been true.
"I kinda like it too." Kyouko says, with regards to the city, and with a slightly lopsided smile. "I ain't above moochin' off of somebody else's good luck so. For what it's worth, thanks. Thanks for doin' what you did to keep our city in one piece. My life's been pretty shitty for a long time, but it's been gettin' better since I came here. Well.. since shortly after I came here, anyway. That kinda endears the place to me."
She falls silent for another moment, then heaves a sigh. "I know things ain't been good between us Homura, but I dun have the strength to be mad at you anymore, and like I said, I think I finally understand where you're comin' from. So look.. secrets are out, and people might end up doin' crazy shit. So I just want you to know.. I'm with you, at least on this issue. If shit starts going bad because of this whole Witch thing, you can count on me to back you up. With Mami or.. anyone else." She doesn't say Saya-chan.
"I did learn a lot. There's a lot of experience there." Homura shrugs. "... oh I see. Yeah well. Okay."
Homura pauses to recall what she said about Mami the other day. She said it in the heat of the moment, but she should never have said it at all. On the other hand, the first time Mami Tomoe, her own mentor, turned her gun on Homura and made her feel completely helpless is one of the deepest scars that Homura has.
"... all of that stuff is over anyways. I never made it past Walpurgisnacht, so this is new territory for me. I guess from now on I'll be experiencing time the same way everyone else does."
She turns her head towards Kyouko after the sigh, and listens to what she has to say. "I don't really expect Mami to be a threat to anyone but herself after this point. Maybe that's arrogant for me to say, and the fact that she didn't immediately shoot one of us tells me that she's different from previous Mamis who did. I think she'll be better off if she has time to accept what she is. She's not really... like that. Not when she has time to think it through, usually."
"But there have been Puella Magi in other timelines who are. If they show up and start causing trouble, well, we can deal with them then."
Homura turns Kyouko's words over in her head. She seems a little disturbed, but she doesn't voice it. "... but yeah. Sure. There might be times when we'll need to team up again. I'd happily shut down something like that, if someone wanted to cause that kind of trouble for us."
"Welcome back to life." Kyouko says, with a small laugh. "You never know how it's gonna punch you in the gut until it's happening. The trick is to grit your teeth.. makes it less likely you'll bite your tongue."
She seems to sense some of Homura's disturbance at her words, and misinterprets it.. or maybe not, but she seems it has to do with the idea of teaming up. A faint grimace crosses her face as she takes another step back. "Well, y'know. If it's that distasteful for you, we can just go our separate ways. I won't shed any tears if we don't run into each other again, Homura. I just wanted you to know that if shit goes south.. well, you got my number. I kinda like the life I've managed to build here, and I'm willing to fight to protect it." She shrugs and shoves her free hand in her pocket, the other gripping the top of her cane.
"Needed to be said, that's all. I'll let you get back to.. what you were doin'."
"It's not that I find it distasteful." Homura glances away. "I just don't like to be relied upon. I can't imagine you doing this to me, but... well, Anshi-san called me 'senpai', and other people have called me a 'leader' after the Walpurgisnacht thing, and words like that really disturb me. I don't see myself that way at all. I can't imagine that someone as independant as you would ever look at me that way, just... I can't stand other people looking up to me. That's Mami's thing, not mine."
"It's not about teaming up with you. I'm fine with that. I just want to make it clear that we'd be doing it as equals, two talented and skilled veterans handling a common threat. As long as I can have that it wont bother me at all." She can't imagine that Kyouko would object to that, except maybe to laugh at the idea of her ever looking at Homura that way.
Kyouko starts to pull away, and Homura turns towards the direction she was going in. "Yeah I... gotta get more Grief Seeds. See you around, Kyouko."
Kyouko /does/ laugh, shaking her head slightly as she hears the source of Homura's discomfort. "Homura.." She says, pausing in the midst of turning away. "The day I call /you/ sempai is the day I've lost my fucking wits. That, I promise you. I make my own choices, and if I choose to point my spear in the same direction you're pointing your guns, then so be it. But I do what I think is best. That ain't ever gonna change."
She pulls a hand out of her pocket to offer a casual wave as she finishes her turn and gets back to getting home. She walks slowly, leaning on the makeshift cane, and her process is labored. But much like she just said, she goes stolidly and without complaint. She doesn't expect help, and doesn't ask for help. Kyouko Sakura's world just ain't that kinda place.
Homura's actually a bit relieved at what Kyouko says. "Then I think we understand each other." Without much of another word, Homura walks off. Kyouko doesn't ask for help, and Homura isn't worried about her. Truth is, Kyouko's independence isn't something that Homura would ever want to undermine.
Besides, she really should be finding Grief Seeds. It's kindof important.