Makoto was too tired and out of sorts to do more than fall into the first bed that she found. As a result, when Usagi comes looking, it won't take her long to find the taller girl; she doesn't have to peek through more than a couple of doors, and she doesn't have to look much further than just inside to see Mako's shoes where she left them a little off to the side of the doorway.
The room is quite lovely, although Mako's not really in a position to fully appreciate it. She's curled up into a knot amidst the oversized featherbed, lying on her side. With her back turned toward the door, it's hard to tell if she's asleep already or not.
Usagi's eating the container of rice she'd set down in the meeting. It's a good thing she has it, because even a little while later, things are annoyingly fuzzy. Not much, just there on the edges, and she still really hates sake.
Stupid thing she had to say.
She peeks in doors until she finds Makoto-sized shoes, and then a Makoto-sized bed, and then a Makoto-sized person in said bed.
Usagi takes a moment to chew her lower lip, wondering if it's okay if she goes in. Because she's still not sure if Makoto's grumpy at her or not.
Still. MakoHugs are the second best ever.
So, quiet as she can, and without saying 'sneak, sneak, sneak," thankyouverymuch Mamo-chan, she c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y slides onto the feather bed.
Then she c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y wiggles and squirms closer.
Mako was not, in fact, asleep. She's more than tired enough, but the mess of feelings tangled up in her stomach have kept her awake, and when Usagi's weight begins to press down on the featherbed - no matter how slowly and carefully - she stirs, craning her head around to peer back over her shoulder.
"Usagi-chan..." She doesn't sound grumpy. If anything she sounds hesitant and kind of anxious - she'd barely laid down before she started feeling guilty about leaving the room while Usagi was clearly still upset, and now she's not sure what to say. As Usagi wriggles closer, Mako uncurls and turns over, onto her back, but that's all. She's hesitant, waiting to see how Usagi is and what she'll do.
Uh oh. Caught.
She stills for a moment, at least until she processes the tone of voice. Then she continues wiggling and squirming across the mattress, much faster now that she knows Makoto's awake.
She opens her mouth to say something before she closes it. What can she say? She's still feeling so guilty that it's been hard to keep her promise, that it's hard to just share things with people. And, well, 'I'm sorry' seems kind of empty at the moment.
So instead, she fusses, a hand going to rest against Makoto's forehead. "Are you okay? Did Mamo-chan help you feel better? I'm sorry I didn't dodge better."
Some of Makoto's anxiety abates. As that hand comes to rest against her forehead, she breathes out a long, slow breath, and then she turns onto her side to face her friend. "He helped a lot," she promises. "I don't even feel a little bit sore any more."
She's not sure she can say she feels better, particularly, but Usagi doesn't seem mad and that's helping. Mako's arm reaches out to drape reassuringly over the smaller girl. "Anyway, you don't need to apologize. He was throwing that dark energy all over the place, it would've been really hard to dodge."
"Oh, good." There is much relief in the small girl's entire body at Makoto's assurance, and a good deal of tension washes away. Not all of it, of course.
There is so much to be tense about.
As the arm comes down around her, Usagi takes it as an invitation to snuggle closer. "Yeah, but, one second you're all the way up there and the next bam! You were amaaaaazing!" And then she has to give her best Devious Bunny Eye. "And gave a whole new meaning to that pick-up line. The one about falling from heaven."
Snuggles are good. Makoto's arm curls comfortably around Usagi as she settles herself into a more comfortable position, and she smiles fondly.
At the Devious Bunny Face and the comment about pickup lines, a little laugh hitches out of her. "Oh, come on," she protests, shaking her head a bit against the pillow. "Who'd be using a line like that on me, anyway?"
It's a rhetorical question and she doesn't wait for a reply before her hand reaches up to smooth over Usagi's hair. "What about you?" she asks, a little quieter. "How are you feeling?"
Usagi has an answer for the question, rhetorical or not. She makes devious plans to deviously suggest to a certain Shittenou that he should use that pickup line. Huehuehue.
She blinks at the question. She almost answers that she is fine, but then that would be another promise broken.
Instead, she shrugs. "I don't know? I mean...it's a lot. And apparently I'm the one to do this? But I don't even know if I can."
Her voice is quiet. Maybe a little ashamed.
Makoto is quiet for a moment before she answers. When she does, though, it's with no uncertainty: "Of course you can." Her hand smooths over Usagi's hair again. "But I don't blame you for being worried. It's a lot of pressure for anyone to deal with."
Her arm wraps around Usagi again to hug her close. "Just remember, you don't have to do it alone. You have all of us supporting you, so you should lean on us as much as you want. I've told you before, right? I'll always have your back, Usagi-chan, no matter what."
She almost purrs under the attention her hair gets, an ingrained feeling of comfort washing through her.
Then she's hugged, which is even better than a snuggle, and she wiggles down into the warmth of her friend. "I'll do everything I can to remember to lean." A comforted sigh, and for the moment, at least, she's happy. (She'll be happier when it's over, though!) "And yes. Mako-chan always has my back. Even when I'm against me!"
She tilts her head a little. She can't quite see Makoto's face, because that would mean moving away, but the intent is there. And her voice is small again, but for a different reason. "Thanks you for telling on me to Mamo-chan. About the house. I should have told him sooner."
Those words have gratitude have Makoto going still - for a moment not even breathing. Then she lets out a sigh and tips her head in against Usagi's. "I'm sorry about that," she says, sounding more than a little sheepish. "It wasn't really on purpose, it just kind of came out. If I'd been thinking, I'd have talked to you first."
She does not speak to what either of them should or should not have done. Hindsight. Don't they both have enough things to beat themselves up over?
"We all need to get better at talking about things," Mako says instead, thinking back to her conversation with Ami not that long ago. "I didn't tell him about your journal. I remembered my promise about that."
Her eyebrows rise. "No, I actually mean it. Thank you." She snuggles up toward Makoto's tipped head. "I'd been too focused on...being...whatever I thought he needed me to be." She sighs. She still failed at that, but not as hard as she'd been afraid of! "But thank you for not telling him about the journal. I really do think I should just burn it."
Maybe a nice little bonfire after they get back from the north pole. Something to look forward to.
"You really do help me talk about things now. Even if I'm still not good at it yet."
"We'll keep working on it," Makoto assures. "I'll keep poking you until you spill everything in self-defense!" Her arm lifts from around Usagi just long enough to tickle her a little in illustration of her totally not serious threat.
"I'm sure all Mamoru-san needs you to be is yourself," she adds presently, as her arm snugs around Usagi again. "Things are getting better, right? It'll take a while before it's okay, but it's getting better."
Usagi squeals and giggles at the light tickling, completely at odds with the senshi of love and justice facade. "Good, you better!"
Wiggle squirm!
She lets out a breath-catching sigh as she's snugged once more. "I know. Usually." Another sigh. And then another, but happier one! "And yes! Even if it doesn't seem like it, things are getting better. I'm actually a lot happier than I was!" Snug, snug, cuddle. "One day, I'll be like the Usagi you first met. Just you see!"
Makoto settles in, much more relaxed now, smiling more or less against Usagi's hair. "You don't have to be exactly like you were when we met, you know," she says. "We've both learned a lot since then. Different doesn't have to mean bad."
She closes her eyes, and for right now pretends that they won't very soon be facing what will very probably be the hardest battle they've ever faced. "As long as you're happy, that's all I want."
"Oh, good!" Another bout of relief. "Because if I was exactly like I was back then, my parents would be so mad about my grades!"
Usagi closes her eyes, as well, and gives a happy sigh. "And I want that for you, too." And then her body is shaking, slightly. "Speaking of, I bet Nephrite would use that line on you. Huehuehue."
An immediate groan from Mako: "Please don't talk about grades. Ami-chan and Mamoru-san have both been trying to help me catch up but I think it might take a Silver Crystal level miracle to get me into ninth grade."
At least snuggled up like this, Usagi can't see how Mako's eyes pop open and her face turns bright pink when the former mentions Nephrite. "Usagi-chaaaaan," she pleads, flustering. "Come on, don't tease me like that!"
She perks slightly. "I wonder if that would actually work! Like if I hope really hard, we come back to passing grades!"
Very unlikely, but one can hope!
And she does! With stars in her eyes and everything!
But then she's patting her friend's shoulder. "Oh, Mako-chan. I'm not teasing. I'm matchmaking!"
Makoto makes a tiny and entirely uncharacteristic whining sound, hiding her face against Usagi's hair. So much embarrassment. So much flustered fretting. "I don't even know how he feels about me. I don't even know if he knows how he feels about me!"
Suddenly she's clutching at Usagi for reassurance.
Usagi is full of comforting hugs and warm pets! "Well, he did just come back to the light side of the force. But he also did still reach out to you when he was sort of...not."
Then she hugs and squishes more tightly! "I do get the impression that he's fond of you! And, well, he has a Thunderbird, Mako-chan."
"...He did say he wanted to spend more time together," Makoto ventures, a little more hopefully, encouraged by Usagi's pep-talk. Some of her clinging eases off, and she lets out a sigh.
"This is such a bad time to be getting worked up about this," she laments. "Once we've beaten Metalia for good, there'll be lots of time to get to know each other better - right?"
Happy, happy! "Yeah, see? Best of all, he gives good hugs! I rate them very close to yours!"
She wiggles her feet, happy. "Yep! Plenty of time. And hey! I was fond of Mamo-chan when we first met! ...more or less! So that's a good start in my book! I have a one-hundred percent success rate!"
"It's true," Makoto is forced to agree, muffled against Usagi's hair. "He gives really good hugs."
She's blushing again. She can feel her face getting so hot it seems like it should be glowing.
A beat passes before something occurs to her, and she lifts her head a little to eye her friend. "--When you and Mamoru-san first met you guys fought like all the time."
"See? A good hugger is very important! I should know, I have the best hugger ever." Nod!
And this is why Makoto will likely never feel jealous that Usagi ranks her just under Mamoru.
And then she giggles. "Of course we did! He was a jerk! Still is! But he was a nice jerk. Even when he teased me and all. And also? Even though he's super smart and told me I should study more, not once did he say I was stupid. That's like my easiest target! And he didn't aim for it once!"
Mako opens her mouth. Closes it again.
Finally she laughs, letting her head sink back into the pillow and hugging Usagi tightly. "I don't understand you guys sometimes," she says in a warm, fond tone. "But you're right, Mamoru-san's not the kind of guy who'd be mean like that."
Usagi preens. "I don't, either!" It's a cheerful admission. "By all logic, we shouldn't work, but we do! So happy me!"
Another happy sigh. "And see? He's a nice jerk."
She yawns, and her jaws crack, but then she's fine.
""I wonder if Nephrite could help you catch up with school...?"
Huehuehue.
"Usagi-chan!" If they weren't all tangled up in covers and cuddles Makoto would be flailing. She's definitely blushing all over again, all in a fresh fluster. "I want to impress him, not make him think I'm hopeless. Geez, you and Mamoru-san are both awful. He told me to ask Nephrite and Zoisite both to help me."
She giggles! "Maybe he's trying to hook you two up, too! Mamo-chan helped me study~!" She slowly stops giggling. "I think you're really impressive anyway, Mako-chan."
"And Zoisite," Makoto repeats, more emphatically. "I think he's trying to kill me from embarrassment."
But then Usagi stops giggling and says that, and Makoto once again lies still for a moment. Slowly, gently, her arms squeeze around Usagi. "I know," she says softly, and it's all gratitude and love. "You're pretty amazing, too, Usagi-chan. That's why we're going to win."
She breathes in, holds it for a moment, then lets it go. "We should probably try to sleep. It's only a few more hours until Ami-chan wanted everyone to meet up, I think."
"Nah. He'd probably be more subtle about it if he wanted to do that."
Usagi returns the tightened embrace and her heart warms and fills. "You know, if you guys keep believing in me, I may actually beat up Metallia."
Her heart sinks a bit at the reminder. She wants to say she's not tired, that she can go this without sleep, but then she's yawning again. This time its full bodied and her toes are flexed and she almost vibrates the mattress with it.
"Mmm okay. We'll dream of cuddly bunny piles."
"You definitely will," Makoto replies in a tone that allows no argument.
And then she snuggles in, warm and close and comfortable. Mmm, cuddly bunny piles. "Sounds good," she says, smiling, and closes her eyes again. "Goodnight, Usagi-chan."