Usagi has Ami's side of things. She has a bit of Mako's. She wants...to understand.
Okay, she wants to help. Her friends fighting like this breaks her heart completely.
But she can't just take control and tell them how to feel...
So here she is, knocking on Makoto's door.
Here she is, about to ask what she can do.
She's gonna listen, dammit.
Much like the last time, it doesn't take Mako too long to come to the door. This time, there's no scent of baking following her when the door opens - she's been cleaning, dressed in frayed blue jeans and a faded t-shirt with a handkerchief tied over her hair to keep it from frizzing out of control, and the place smells of clean.
"Usagi-chan." The signs of stress are still there, but Makoto manages a smile for her friend. "How's it going?"
Usagi's nose twitches as she tries to get a scent of the place.
Awww man, no baked goods! Nothing frying!
Just...bleach and vinegar.
Ew.
Still, she's wringing her hands and fidgeting.
"I um. I talked to Ami-chan."
Her eyebrows furrow. She's...perplexed.
"And Zoisite, which...I don't even know. Um. Can I come in?"
Makoto's brow creases a bit as well, at Usagi's words and her generally fidgety state. Her voice, though, is mild as she steps back from the doorway and says, "Of course you can come in."
She waits until Usagi is inside and clear of the door so she can close it behind her, then turns toward the kitchen to pile cookies from the ever-full cookie jar on a plate. This, and a couple of bottles of ramune from the fridge, she brings back to the living room to set on the coffee table.
And, settling down on the sofa, Mako looks toward Usagi, vaguely prompting - waiting to hear what Usagi has to say.
It's worse, she thinks as she slips on slippers and paces in front of the couch, ramune -- cookies -- momentarily forgotten, than if Makoto had gone off on some tangent.
"I don't...agree? With Ami's choice. But...I have to trust her. Because she trusted me when I started seeing Mamo-chan. She knew about it. Or sensed it."
Usagi paces some more.
"But she's also not...changing with her pen. It's with Frost Knight. And I need to talk to her about that, because she didn't tell me, Zoisite did."
Okay, there's a touch of bitterness there...
Finally, she does stop her pacing. She looks to Makoto with large eyes, obviously willing them to not overflow.
"I don't know what to do, Mako-chan. But if this is something neither of you can work out, I need to know now. I need to figure out how...to make it so you're both still with me but not..."
She closes her eyes, takes a moment, and breathes.
"I don't want to lose either of you."
Resting her hands n her lap, Makoto watches Usagi pace, listening without interrupting as her friend talks. Surprise flashes across her face when Usagi mentions Ami not using her henshin pen - surprise and a trace of real fear, a wash of cold water through her veins - but she bites back whatever she might've been about to say until Usagi is looking at her, until she's finished.
Finally, Mako lets out a quiet breath, shoulders sagging.
"I don't know either, Usagi-chan," she says, helplessly. "I don't know how to fix this. It's like Ami-chan wants me to either tell her that it's okay to date Agera or tell her to break up with him. But it's not okay, and that's not my decision to make."
She looks down, hands curling into fists against her thighs. "This isn't a situation where I can just say I'll trust Ami-chan. I do trust her, but I don't trust Agera. I know she wants to save him, and I want to help her do that. I really do!" Her eyes are wide as she looks at Usagi, earnest and imploring her to understand. "But... being his girlfriend, trusting him and bending over backwards to be fair and see his side... that's not going to do it. I've seen the way he acts towards her when she's not being as much of a girlfriend as he wants, Usagi-chan, and it's scary. If we just stand back and let her do this, he could really hurt her, and it's like she doesn't even see it."
Usagi nods. "She asked me if she should kill him..."
She leaves out Ami's question on whether that would make Makoto happy. Either way, it's not really a win, is it?
She taps her fingers against her lips for a moment. Soon she finds herself perched on the arm of Makoto's couch, looking at the taller girl. "She said something...about trusting your judgement. Because of the chocolates. I know...you don't agree with the relationship at all. I don't even know what I think about it. But if she asked if you'd let her know what she was getting into chocolate territory again..."
She hops off the couch and rubs her hand over her face. "Augh, how can I even ask that of you?"
She slams her hands on the armrest and looks at Makoto, eyes intense. "Don't think I forgive him for what he did. I'm not just gonna...you're my best friend, Mako-chan. One of. For that alone I wanna..."
But she shouldn't wanna anything like that. That's not what she does, and that's why all of this just sits sp awkwardly in her.
"Between you and him, there's no choice. No contest." It's the between Ami and Makoto, which she knows neither would consciously make her choose between, but it still looms within her. "I already told Ami what I'd do if there was no other choice."
Mako visibly flinches at Usagi's first statement., though she manages to contain herself for long enough to listen to the rest of what she's saying. "That's not - why do those have to be the only options? Why does it have to be Ami-chan being his girlfriend or everybody giving up on him completely? I don't--"
She breaks off, lifts both hands to scrub over her face as she tries to rein herself in and really think about everything Usagi has told her. Breathe.
Can she watch Ami's back, like she did before? Warn her if she's going too far off-course?
Would that be enough?
"It doesn't have to go that far. I just want her to be careful." Her voice is small, muffled behind her hands. "I want her to realize how badly he could mess her up if she goes into this thinking he won't hurt her."
Usagi shrugs, helpless. "I don't know! I don't know what a better plan would be, and I don't know that because I don't know how to get you two in the same room together."
Usagi sighs and leans against the wall. "When Mamo-chan--when he wasn't good, did he do stuff that was worse than the chicken thing? Because that's not even that bad." She sighs a bit. "I ask because Ami keeps saying how it's not Taka-baka's fault because he's full of dark energy. But the only time I remember feeling threatened by Mamo-chan was when he wasn't him. It was the red-eyed...thing."
Usagi shrugs. "It's kind of like hearing her say 'it's not his fault, it's the alcohol.'"
Sighing, Mako lets her hands drop. "I'm not sure," he says wearily, in answer to Usagi's question. "You probably saw more of him than I did. But I kind of think it doesn't matter."
Her expression as she meets Usagi's eyes is tight-lipped, serious. "Maybe it's time we all stopped making allowances for Agera because his situation reminds us of the guys. We didn't save any of them from the Dark Kingdom by trusting them, or making compromises with them, or trying to see their side of things so that maybe one day they'd decide to give up the darkness on their own. We did it by shoving it in their faces over and over that what they were doing was wrong, and beating the shit out of them if we had to in order to stop them from hurting people."
The breath she draws in hisses quietly back out through her teeth. "That's exactly what it's like," she agrees quietly. "The thing is, if he's hurting people, it doesn't matter if it's his fault or the dark energy. Either way, we should be stopping him. We can talk about 'it's not his fault' when he's not busy coming up with all kinds of his own reasons why nothing is ever his fault and he's always right about everything."
Usagi nods before she plops down on the couch, snuggling against Makoto.
"Beating the shit out of him until he was good again would be so much easier."
She sighs a little. "Do you think...even if you two don't agree on this, you'll be friends again?" She finds an invisible piece of lint on Makoto's pants and picks at it. "I mean, it'd be nice, you know, if I could invite you both to my wedding when it happens. And have you both there. And avoid most forms of bloodshed."
It's automatic, the way Mako curls her arm around Usagi. "I want to," she says, the serious expression on her face giving way to something more anxious. "I don't want to think that this is something that could stop us from being friends."
Usagi completely relaxes against Makoto at the revelation. "Good. Good." She snuggles some more. "I hope not, too."
She yawns a bit. "Are you okay? Aside from stuff? Or with or because or things?"
At this, Makoto grimaces a little. "It's kind of hard to be okay while all this is going on," she says. "Neph's been helping me get my mind off it a little, but it's hard to keep from worrying about it for very long while I still don't know how to make it better."
Usagi tilts her head to look up at Makoto. "I told Ami-chan I could try to get you two together. Get you to talk and such. You want me to? We could even pretend you don't wanna if you wanna do it that way."
The offer seems to surprise Makoto a little, especially when Usagi suggests that they could pretend she doesn't want to. For a moment, she cracks a lopsided smile. "We don't have to go as far as pretending," she says, before sighing quietly. "After all, I don't think we can solve this if we don't talk to each other. I just... don't really know what to say."
A beat passes, then Mako's brow furrows a little. "I'm worried, too," she admits. "If I say the wrong things and make her more upset, I'm scared it'll just drive Ami-chan further away."
Makoto gets a grin in return for her smile. Then she shrugs and wiggles some more. "You can tell her what you're feeling. And I think if you tell her you still love her even if you're upset, that'd help a lot."
She looks up at Makoto again, all serious with her bunny eyes. "And I won't let her get too far away. I'll sit on her until she wakes up if I gotta. Again."
That wins a quiet laugh out of Mako, just a little hitch of breath, and finally she seems to relax a little bit. "Okay," she says, with a tone of capitulation. "We'll just have to do our best."
Her arm pulls tighter around Usagi, a quick little squeeze. "Thanks, Usagi-chan. I'm sorry you're caught in the middle like this."
Usagi gives a firm and decisive nod. "The best of our best!"
She shrugs and waves a hand. "If I getta help, and if I getta still snuggle you both, I'm okay in the middle." She peeks up at Makoto. "For a little bit. Then I'm making with the pouty faces."
"The ultimate weapon," Makoto observes, almost managing to keep her expression and her voice solemn as she does. Almost. "If it goes that far, neither one of us will stand a chance."
She gives a little primp and preen. "That's right. I can be scary effective when I wanna be, don't you forget it!"
Then, suddenly, she's bodily draping across Makoto, all woes and forehead touches. "It's been too long since I tasted anything of Chez Mako. Woe me, woe me! How shall I survive!"
"Usagi-chan," Mako says, even as she's reaching to ruffle the blonde's hair. "We had pizza last week. And there are cookies right there." There it is: a real, genuine smile, almost unshadowed by the various cares that have been weighing Makoto down. "Maybe you should have some before you waste away?"
"Oh golly gee, has it only been a week?" She's biting back a smile as she lunges for the cookies. "We can't have me wasting away! That would be dreadful!"
She gobbles the first cookie almost whole. Once it's chewed and swallowed, she sighs in bliss! "Ahhh, sustenance!"