View source for A Gift Offering and a Hard Deadline

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2019/12/18
|Location=Earth Court Frat House
|Synopsis=This year, Mamoru and his Shitennou are going to spend the holidays with family. With someone's family, anyway. That is to say, visiting Neil's loud and noisy family in the freezing middle of nowhere, and then visiting Kazuo's grandparents who, as far as Kazuo is conveying, may actually live in a morgue. Kyouko is a little confused about some of these things. Jadeite advocates fruitcake.
|Cast of Characters=38, 109, 56, 78, 112
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Mamoru Chiba
|Pose="Do you think," Mamoru's voice floats musingly from the castle of blankets and cushions in one sprawly corner of the couch, out of the way of videogame players but only just, "we can get away with going to bother your obaachan for a whole week, Kazuo?"
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kunzite
|Pose=Kazuo is not playing video games. Kazuo is in the kitchen, cleaning it back to Makoto's standards in the wake of a particularly unfortunate attempt to construct a particularly intricate sugary confection, probably for an equally particularly blonde recipient. This means that, yes, his prince is in fact in another castle.<br><br>"I think," he says in outright forbodingly dry tones, "that is is less a matter of 'for a whole week' than 'we shall hope she will permit us to escape in time to return to classes.'"
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Nephrite
|Pose="'Bother' is definitely not a word you use with grandmothers," Neil agrees. Despite the availability of gaming systems, he is currently sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, attempting to wrap gifts for siblings. Since he lacks both the artistry and the patience of most of the ECFH's occupants, this process involves a lot of tape and swearing. "Just be sure to bring a gift offering and a hard deadline of when you need to get back." He is about to add something else but has to pause to swear again, because now he's taped ribbon to his thumb.
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kyouko Sakura
|Pose="I never had no grandmothers, what's it like?" Kyouko asks from where she is doing pull-ups on the doorframe which leads to the rooftop stairwell, because that's the sort of thing she just does when she has nowhere to be in a hurry. She drops down and walks further into the room. For some reason she has a santa hat on her head, with a conbenie nametag pinned to it that says "Ho Ho Ho My Name Is Kyouko".
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Jadeite
|Pose="It got me baby pictures of Kazuo, so one could either decide that that's 'not too bad' or 'really very bad', I guess," Saburo shrugs. He's the one playing video games, stretched out on the couch and trying and failing not to let his Kirby be blown off the field by a trio of NPC enemies. <br><br>"I bet if we asked her very nicely and smiled very cutely she'd let us go eventually."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Mamoru Chiba
|Pose="Mph," is Mamoru's from-underneath-blankets sound at Kunzite. At Neil's explanation-- and instructions, the chilly and sleepy getting-over-a-cold prince pokes his head out and says tragically, "You're not coming with us? It's for New Year's, not Christmas-- I was kind of hoping we, or at least I, or maybe at least Mako and I, but I figured Mako and was really just hoping I could tag along with you for Christmas, then descend upon Kazuo's grandma after..."<br><br>At Kyouko's question, he shrugs and points a blanket-draped arm at Neil and Kazuo, then gestures as if to say 'ask them'. Then he peers over at Jadeite and puts his feet on the blond. "I can doctor-school-excuse her and say I need everyone to come with so I don't die from overwork."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kunzite
|Pose=The new outbreak of swearing gets Kazuo's attention for a moment, but it's a tape mishap rather than a scissors mishap; no need to get blood out of anything. Yet.<br><br>Which leaves the grandmother question. "It's an endless sequence of death, histrionics, and attempts to feed you to the size of a blue whale," Kazuo says to Kyouko. "You'll like it."<br><br>Did he just attempt to shove Kyouko between himself and grandmotherly attention? Given that he is Pointedly Not Looking at Jadeite, probably. (That or Mamoru forbidding him to commit murder over the photos still holds.)<br><br>Mamoru himself, though, gets a brief nod. "Yes. Exactly. Start directly with the grave, it saves time."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Nephrite
|Pose=Kazuo's concern is not altogether misplaced. Gift wrapping has been known to be a blood sport when Neil is involved. Both tape and ribbon are extracted from thumb, but neither are usable now. Neil sighs and starts measuring out more. "Oh yeah no, the invitation is still open to anybody who wants to spend Christmas on a cold, rainy island with an entire house full of Burkes -- which, spoiler alert, is not a remotely quiet or calm experience. I thought you were planning on taking off early or something, but sure, I can't say no to meeting a grandma of Kazuo's."<br><br>He fixes Kyouko with a grin. "Infinite life experience, stories from Ye Olden Days that are either painfully boring or completely fascinating, the most cutting guilt trips you can imagine. If she's Kazuo's grandmother, she's probably terrifying, which endears her to me already."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kyouko Sakura
|Pose="I dunno," Kyouko says to Kazuo, "I don't particularly like death, at least aimed at me, and I don't know what histrionics means. I do like being fed though." She pauses, as if to consider if this last is significant enough to outweight the first two.<br><br>Nephrite's answer causes her to tap her lip. "Well look, I mean, all you reincarnated guys are basically like really old people anyway, right, so it probably won't be that different." She grins a grin which says that statement is insufferable by design, before flopping down on the couch opposite Mamoru. "Cutting guilt trips I feel like I inflict upon myself rigorously enough already."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Jadeite
|Pose=The feet propped up on Saburo are accommodated for by virtue of the blond staying where he is, grimacing to himself as he gets blown off the stage, finally. <br><br>"Mm, you're not wrong," he agrees with Kyouko, "We're a bunch of old souls. Maybe we could bring a fruitcake?"
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Mamoru Chiba
|Pose="We're already bringing you," Mamoru obligatories obligingly at Saburo. "Nice wipeout. At least it was a blaze of glory."<br><br>To Kazuo, he calls over, "I'll tell her, 'I know most people blow off university classes, but it's med school and I don't want to kill patients because I missed the lectures. If I leave everyone else here with you, will you come to my memorial service when I die from overwork because they weren't around to stop me? Please make sure they put my remains next to my parents' memorial stone'..."<br><br>He worms his way out of the blankets a little more, and now his shoulders are visible too. "Probably the guilt trips are only awful if you understand the language they're in. Aunt Sandra knows I speak English, but nobody else there does, so I plan on smiling at people a lot and pretending I have no idea what they're saying."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kunzite
|Pose="It can't be that bad," Kazuo comments to Neil. "The house is still there."<br><br>Kyouko's dislike of death is duly noted. "She hasn't murdered my father yet, so I doubt she'll aim death at you. Lamentations may be a different matter."<br><br>Kazuo nods more solemnly to Mamoru. "You have the general idea." Then he returns his attention to removing sugar goo from all affected surfaces in the kitchen, whether or not they are visible. Probably not so that he can start to make fruitcakes later.<br><br>Probably.<br><br>... there may be a mystery fruitcake appearing in Saburo's luggage.
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Nephrite
|Pose=Neil clutches at his chest in horror at Kyouko's statement, a gesture made less dramatic by the roll of shiny ribbon in his hand. "Hey, I am not old! I am young and cool and I know all the memes."<br><br>He gives Mamoru a smirk. "That might just work, but I wouldn't worry anyway. I'll be tanking more than enough guilt for all of you. They've got years worth to catch up on."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kyouko Sakura
|Pose="Well, that's good," Kyouko says to Mamoru, "Since I don't speak nothin' but good god-fearing Japanese, that should be easy for me." This isn't quite true as, like most Japanese adults she has a smattering of English and thanks to Naru, even a little French. But fluency is a far-off dream in either  regard.<br><br>Nephrite's comment is met with a deadpan look as she crosses one jean-clad leg over the other and folds her arms over her chest. "What's a meme?"
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Mamoru Chiba
|Pose="... Aunt Sandra knows we might all pile in, right?" Mamoru asks Neil with sudden anxiety, burrowing small into the blanket castle a ways. "We can bring sleeping bags and sleep in cupboards and things. Or a closet for Kazuo to sleep leaning against a wall in..."<br><br>Then his attention zeroes in on Kyouko and he stares for a moment. <br><br>"Saburo please educate her if she has somehow managed to miss them for real."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kunzite
|Pose=... the sponge that Kazuo pitches at the blanket castle from the kitchen is at least clean and dry.
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Nephrite
|Pose="I think it's some kind of Fortnite," Neil deadpans at Kyouko.<br><br>"Uh, I think she's actually counting on it, judging by the shopping list she sent me," he nods to Mamoru. "Sleeping bags and air mattresses are probably going to be a requirement, but we'll make it work."<br><br>He decidedly ignores the bit about the closet, lest Kazuo find something heavier to throw.
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kyouko Sakura
|Pose="Like those trading cards we sell at the conbenie?" Kyouko asks Neil, the rare teenager who sort of knows what the internet is but doesn't trust it because she can't hold it in her hands.<br><br>"I'm fine with sleeping rough." She adds. "Been a while since I had a good sleep outside. Where does your Aunt Sandra live again? Isn't in the US? I hear they have bigfoots over there. Will there be bigfoots?" She seems genuinely interested.
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Jadeite
|Pose="You think I can catch her up on a lifetime of education?" Saburo asks, because even he is only so magical. There are some things a person just has to live through!<br><br>Besides, Kyouko has actually brought up a very good question. "Usually, I'd say Neil's the only Bigfoot around here, but I saw a video on YouTube that said they really like woods and things, and your Aunt Sandra lives by woods and things, right?"
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Mamoru Chiba
|Pose=Mamoru is too busy for bigfoots: he's  plotting throwing the sponge back and either getting Kazuo with it or getting to watch him catch it without looking. He does complain to Saburo, "The only person more expert than you at memes is-- well, I'm not supposed to talk about it."
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Kunzite
|Pose="It might be a little colder than you're expecting," Kazuo notes to Kyouko. "Ten degrees or so." Degrees Celsius, of course. Not that he has sneakily looked up December temperatures in British Columbia. Why would he do that? Neil grew up in the US. Kyouko just said so. And Kazuo is safely out of the blast radius.<br><br>Memes ... Kazuo for some reason says nothing about. Perhaps because he is old and decrepit.
}}
{{Single Pose
|Poser=Nephrite
|Pose="First off," Neil announces, dropping all gift-wrapping supplies because they are suddenly entirely unimportant, "they're called Sasquatch, and no, you're not going to see Sasquatch because everybody knows they like it further up north. And secondly, I did not get all those hockey injuries growing up, or wear that lumberjack shirt, or buy shares in Tim Horton's to be called an ''American''." He stands, all gift-wrapping plans completely abandoned, and storms into the kitchen to find more coffee and perhaps some stashed Mako-baking to soothe his injured pride. Kazuo thought he avoided the blast radius, but now he gets to deal with a cranky Neil muttering to himself about maps and Bigfoots while digging through the cupboards.
}}