View source for 1354/I Don't Wanna Be A Monster

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2016/04/12
|Location=Kimura Estate
|Synopsis=Kukai and Sachiko talk about Anshi's fate, and Sachiko's future.
|Cast of Characters=129,141
|pretty=yes
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{{Poses
|Poses=:'''{{#var:129|Sachiko Hayakawa| (129)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Evening has come, and for the first time in nearly two weeks, Sachiko is alone in her bedroom. With school back in session, Momo has had to return home. Sachiko had gotten used to her bed being warmed by another body again. It's how she and Anshi had slept, when her sister was alive. It's how she and Momo had slept while she was suffering her lack of heart's egg.<br /><br />Now, Sachiko is back to finding the bed cold, uninviting, and uninteresting.<br /><br />So rather than lie in bed, the little girl has padded her way, barefoot, to the balcony. Seated out in front of the double doors in much the same position she was in in her dreams, Sachiko is dressed only in a thin cotton nightgown festooned with little green ribbons. She's staring off at Tokyo's skyline, eyes not really focused so much as absent.

:'''{{#var:141|Kukai Souma| (141)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>The wind is still quite chill, even this far into spring and heading towards summer. It blows across the Kimura Estate strongly, whistling quietly as it blows along. It's blowing at Sky Jack's back as well as he finishes his nightly patrol route, heading to check in on Sachiko. He expects her to be asleep - she's been resting all right in the past night or two since he and Ariel and the others had entered her dream, so when he sees her sitting on the balcony as he approaches it's a little disconcerting. <br /><br /> He descends towards the little girl, waving to her as he moves in closer, and hops off his board just as he crosses the balcony ledge. "Hey Sachi-chan... What're you doing sitting out here like this?"

:'''{{#var:129|Sachiko Hayakawa| (129)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sachiko looks up at the sound of Sky Jack's voice. She blinks at him, then shrugs and huddles herself a little closer. "It's cold," she says quietly, though it's unclear what that has to do with why she's sitting out here, since it would ''seem'' like being in the house would be considerably less cold.<br /><br />For a moment she doesn't look like she's going to offer anything further. But then, she wrinkles her nose and looks up at the Guardian uncertainly. "Howcome big kids always lie to little kids?"

:'''{{#var:141|Kukai Souma| (141)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sky Jack sits down beside her, unbuttoning his jacket and opening it, putting it around Sachiko as best he can, making it much less cold for her for the moment. <br /><br /> He sighs, then reaches up and strokes her hair as she looks up at him. "They don't always lie. It's just hard to explain everything to little kids sometimes and a lot of the questions they ask have tough answers, answers that might hurt the little kids, which is the last thing anybody wants to do."

:'''{{#var:129|Sachiko Hayakawa| (129)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sachiko huddles up into the jacket, and leans against Sky Jack's side. "You lied to me about An-chi," she mumbles. "I thought you told me the truth, cause no one else did. And I guess you told me most of the truth." <br /><br />The little girl turns her head, chin up, to look at Kukai. "You said she died fighting the Walpurgy-not. But Sayaka-onee-chan says she died after that. She said An-chi lost hope, and became a monster. Howcome you didn't tell me?"

:'''{{#var:141|Kukai Souma| (141)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>There is a moment where what's on Sky Jack's face is a mix of shock and surprise. He looks down at Sachiko, blinking, trying to put things into place himself, and then shakes his head. "I... Sachiko, I didn't know. I watched Anshi get dragged underwater by a giant gear or something. For months I dreamt about that moment thinking 'that was the moment she died, drowning underwater'. I don't know how she could have survived past that." <br /><br /> He scratches the back of his head, thinking. "I... You know, I guess it's possible she could have survived. I don't know how - I don't get it at all, in the least. If she did survive, but turned into a witch later, I didn't know anything about it. As far as I knew that was her death. I'm sorry." <br /><br /> He shakes his head again. "You gotta understand something. That night was chaos. I didn't just have nightmares about your sister afterwards. I had half a dozen nightmares about half a dozen broken little girls. I was able to save one of them but I wore more of her blood outside than she had inside her. I personally almost died and would have if a friend of mine hadn't screamed at the top of her lungs. So... honestly, if Anshi lived, afterwards? I didn't know it."

:'''{{#var:129|Sachiko Hayakawa| (129)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sachiko listens to the answer, then turns her head back towards the skyline. She leans against Sky Jack again, then lets out a heavy sigh and doesn't say anything for a few minutes.<br /><br />Eventually, the little girl explains, "Sayaka-onii-chan says when a Puella Magi loses their hope, they become a monster. She said she thinks An-chi found out mama died, and papa hurt her, and thought I was gone, too. She thinks that's why An-chi became a monster."<br /><br />The little girl frowns, then explains, "She also said there's a girl named Madoka Kaname who can make Puella be not monsters anymore, but that she couldn't do it then. But ... but she said I could probably wish An-chi back, and then Madoka-senpai could fix her. But everyone says I shouldn't make wishes like that. I dunno what to do."

:'''{{#var:141|Kukai Souma| (141)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sky Jack keeps an arm around her for a minute, until she starts talking. He looks over at Sachiko and his jaw drops as she relates the conversation - that Puella become monsters, that Madoka can fix them, all of that. He files that away for later, wants to grill Sachiko about it for more information, but for now, she's hurting, and he wants to soothe her more than anything. <br /><br /> "I agree with them. I don't think you should wish An-chi back. ... I know if it goes wrong, you'd lose your hope again and be the one turning into a monster, and if Madoka couldn't fix you, I don't..." He stops for a second. "I don't want to hurt you, Sachiko. Please." He looks tired - actually exhausted - for a moment.

:'''{{#var:129|Sachiko Hayakawa| (129)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"I know," Sachiko says, a little sadly. "I don't think I should do it, either. Not if it means I'm going to probably become a monster. I don't wanna be a monster. If I just had to be a magical girl that would maybe be okay. Momo-chan's a magical girl, and Greta-chan's a magical girl, and you're a magical girl, so it can't be that bad.<br /><br />"But," Sachiko mumbles, "I don't wanna be a monster. I th ink that would make An-chi very sad,a nd then she'd be a monster, too, and then the Madoka would have to save us both, and maybe she can't do that, or maybe she'd mess up, or ..." she trails off, then sniffles a little and buries her face against Kukai's ribcage. <br /><br />"An-chi used to sleep in the same bed as me," Sachi mumbles quietly. "It was so warm, and I used to hate it, but then ... when she wasn't here anymore I couldn't sleep. Then, the past couple of weeks, Momo-chan slept in the bed with me, and she was warm, too. Now it's cold," Sachiko says.

:'''{{#var:141|Kukai Souma| (141)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sky Jack smiles and hugs Sachiko tightly, then blinks. "I am not a magical girl!" He has a tone of affront in his voice. He grins, nudging her side. "Magical boy." He shrugs. "It can be awful hard." He pulls up the side of his jacket and shirt, showing her part of his side where a large pink scar is beginning to heal. "And painful." <br /><br /> He drops his shirt and jacket, then pats her shoulder again. "You're right. You're exactly right. If you became a monster too, Madoka might not be able to save you both, and then both of you would be lost." <br /><br /> He shifts, hugging her close, then sighs. "I've slept alone for a long time now, and then just in the past month or so have I had anybody sleep over or had to keep an eye on them, so I know how nice it can be just to have someone asleep in the same room as you. But it'll be ok. You'll don't forget how it feels to have those you care for around you."

:'''{{#var:129|Sachiko Hayakawa| (129)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sachiko giggles, just a little bit, at Sky Jack's indignation. Yes, she did indeed mean to do that. Such a brat, she is. When he shows off the scar, she reaches up to put her hand on it, curiously, one figner tracing the line of the injury. She pulls her hand away again before Sky Jack covers himself, then looks up at him curiously. "What happened?" Sachiko asks curiously.

:'''{{#var:141|Kukai Souma| (141)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sky Jack sighs. "I got into a fight with a youma made out of crystal. She threw her arm at me." It's that simple. "It's dangerous being somebody who has to deal with this sort of thing." He grins. "It coulda been worse. Course, I coulda dodged it entirely." <br /><br /> He nudges her again. "I'm happier than you know to hear you laughing again, Sachi-chan."

:'''{{#var:129|Sachiko Hayakawa| (129)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sachiko puts her head against his ribcage again and sighs. Closing her eyes, she mumbles, "Sayaka-chan said that even though turned into a monster, I gotta keep thinking of her as a hero. It's hard to imagine An-chi as a monster," she admits quietly. <br /><br />"Onii-chan was always so nice to me. Even when she did things I didn't like, she was never ever mean. But ... if I can't ever see her again, then that means maybe she's watching me anyways, like a ghost or a vampire, or maybe she got reincarnated as a bird. But ... just in case, I think I have to be extra good, and learn to dance really pretty, so that I can make someone else smile like An-chi made me smile. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be the prettiest dancer ever, Nee-san. I'm going to make everyone who sees me dance smile, and think: 'I bet her Onii-chan would be proud of her.'"

:'''{{#var:141|Kukai Souma| (141)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Sky Jack hugs the little girl and nods. "Anshi was a hero. That's what's important." He smiles, hugging the little girl as she talks. "That sounds like a wonderful dream. I'll do what I can to help it come true."
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