View source for 1966/What Do You Know, And How Does It Feel

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2016/09/27
|Location=Pikarigaoka - Kaoru's Donuts
|Synopsis=Lacrima asks Alexis how he handles the new weirdness he's learning about for a reason towards her own personal end. Alexis learns Lacrima is a Vampire. He oddly handles it well!
|Cast of Characters=160,182
|pretty=yes
}}
{{Poses
|Poses=:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>The Donut Stand. On a grey day. It isn't raining. Yet. But it's been overcast all day, like some grumpy old man threating to rain on everyone's parade. Karou is currently in the midst of chocolate glazing donuts. Something he only does for a small limited time once a day and Lacrima has decided to pay a visit today.<br /><br />So this of course means she's sitting at a table by herself with six boxes of donuts stacked around her. The two empty to the right of her suggests she's gone through two already.<br /><br />Karou seems unphased by this but Karou also let's a ferret work at his shop in exchange for donuts somedays so not much phases him. Also, you know, the whole 'used to be a secret agent and/or bodyguard thing for a queen' thing.<br /><br />Lacrima seems to be poking at something like an iPad or an Android tablet. She seems bored and lonely.<br /><br />But that tends to be her usual demeanor.

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Most people don't really know of such things regarding Karou and his shop. Even if the ferrett might put them off somewhat at times. But then this is also Tokyo, maybe a ferrett working a donut stand isn't the weirdest thing people have seen by a LONG stretch.<br /><br />One of these folks who don't really know about these things that much (though this particular one is steadily getting himself more and more into the Know) is heralded by the wild rumble of a motorcycle in the distance, growing ever louder and louder until the bike and the Alex riding it eventually come rolling along to the stall and the eventual stop with the shutdown of the engine.<br /><br />Lacrima catches the boy's eye even before he takes off his helmet. To tell the truth, Lacrima might put him off a LITTLE BIT, but still, something about that particular lone demeanour... well. Call it empathy.

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima puts lots of people off. She has a completely deadpan nature and doesn't display much emotion-- and the emotions she does display tend to not be particularly pleasent. How the heck does she have friends? Or even a girlfriend? She has no answer to that. It doesn't make sense to her, either.<br /><br />She hears a motorcycle and she looks up. That could be anyone, but she's gotten used to the sound of that particular motorcycle.<br /><br />"Alexis." she says softly.<br /><br />A pause. "Would you like to share some of my donuts?" another deadpan pause.<br /><br />"How are you, today?" she asks, doing her best to politely push the tablet to one side. As if doing so would be rude. It's screen seems to show a webpage of some sort. Nothing weird or off putting. It honestly just looks like 'Youtube'.<br /><br />"Is your motorcycle working well?"

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"Norie," Alexis calls back in turn while he's securing the helmet onto the bike, and dismounting the bipedal vehicle in one smooth, practiced motion and adjusts the messenger bag slung from one shoulder against his side. The invitation of donuts getting shared seems to tempt him well enough.<br /><br />Even if the boy does kind of eye Lacrima with some mild suspicion even in spite of that and the empathy he might hold towards her -- idle motions on her part studied, and even the tablet given a side-eye before he slumps onto the bench on the opposite side of the table from her. "The bike works fine. Wouldn't have it any other way."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima head tilts. "Good." she says. She purses her lips a bit. She looks over to the motorcycle and back to Alexis. "I've been. Wanting to talk. To you."<br /><br />"To check up...?" she says. "Yes. Check up. Naru says that... you know about. 'Weirdness'." she says.<br /><br />"I do not know why she brought you to that party and did not except it to come up." she says softly.<br /><br />"Are you... handling it? Okay?" she asks. "What do you know, already?" she asks.<br /><br />"I..."<br /><br />"Wish to know. How you are handling it. Well. Or Not?" she asks. "For.. my own. Reasons." she says a little stiltedly at the end.

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"In her defense, she did try to explain things before she dragged me there," Alex notes, sigh as he might with the words. "... As for what I know and how I'm taking it all...<br /><br />Alex reaches for one of the donuts, here. "...Just taking it one day at a time, you know?" And cue a donut getting shoved into his mouth WHOLE. How on earth he manages that, no one knows, but it's consumed in short order, too.

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Well obviously Alex is secretly Mahou Shounen Donut-Kun. Duh.<br /><br />Lacrima tilts her head. "One day at a time?" she asks. She frowns a bit as she seems to look down a moment and then back up. "Ah..." she says quietly.<br /><br />"Has Naru.. told you about me?" a pause. "I imagine not."<br /><br />"People tend not to notice. They just think I have some sort of condition- and really. That's the excuse I use." she says.<br /><br />"But you. You're starting to learn." she says.<br /><br />"Do I seem. 'Off' to you Alexis? Can you pinpoint why?" she asks.<br /><br />Then another pause. "I.. will. Explain. Why I'm. Asking these questions. In a moment. It's not often that I meet someone who's is--- trying to understand this. Rather than ignore it or refuse to notice it, as th emajority of people do."

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>''What on earth am I supposed to say to a quesiton like that?''<br /><br />That's the thought that initially runs through Alex's head, while he considers Lacrima, and he only has time that it takes to consume the donut to come up with a solution to this particular conundrum.<br /><br />And ultimately, he chooses to go with the truth.<br /><br />"You do, a little," Alex murmurs, with a quiet sigh, and wipes his gloved hand idly along his lower lip to get some crumbs off from there. "I can't really say why. You just... sort of do. I might have some vague idea, now that I know about... things, I guess, but with how little I *actually* know still, it's only guesswork."<br /><br />"But I think--" He goes on then, while reaching for another donut, which he thankfully does not elect to consume wholesale immediately. "Most people would assume one of the usual mental conditions without even fully knowin what they *are*. I might have had some inkling evne before Naru... well, gave me the Talk, but I've been told I pick up on things pretty easily in general."<br /><br />"That being said." His eyes flick up from the donut to try and establish eye contact with Lacrima directly. "...Something happened, didn't it?"

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima does not shy away from the eye contact. Not imediatly. She purses her lips. "Yes." she says. "Something did happen to me. to make me like this." she says. "To be frank. I'm a vampire." she says.<br /><br />"..not the. Bitey... blood drinking kind." she elaborates. "I feed on... human energy. Of a sorts." she says not going into detail. "But the energy that makes up my body now isn't. Conducive to. Positive thoughts or feelings. I mean. I can still feel 'positive' things, but usually, it's the lesser 'feeling'. For example. I can not feel 'happy', but I can feel 'content'." she says. "I do not find things 'Funny' but they 'bemuse me' a little." she says.<br /><br />"I used to... wear my human self. Like a disguise. Norie Okana." she says. "My family belives me missing right now. I ask you don't. Go to them. Please. Or the police. Besides. They wouldn't belive you. I look nothing like 'Norie Okana'." she says. "Not like this." she says silently.<br /><br />"I ran away because..."<br /><br />"...It is hard. To control myself sometimes. It's really easy for me to feel negative emotions, and also act on them on a whim." she says.<br /><br />"When. I became like this. My first... 'victim' was my brother. He didn't remember what happened that day. When he came to wake me up and fainted. But. He also does remember in a way." she says quietly. "He.. started avoiding me. Started breaking promises." she says. "And when a friend of mine researched my condition. She found posts my... brother had made. Wondering how to-- 'get rid of a witch or a ghost or a vampire' because 'he was sure I was one of those'." she says.<br /><br />Then she does break eye contact. "I almost went home and-- hurt him. I caught myself. Before I did that. And then I ran away. I'm staying with Jiaying-chan right now." she says.<br /><br />"I was wondering. How you were reacting. Because. I do. Want to go home. But. I don't think that can happen. Until I figure out... someway to... communicate. What I am. To my brother. And that. I still... care?" she asks like a question. "But. I don't know. How he'd react. How long it'd take to. Get him to understand."

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>A wide variety of emotions might be expected to run along Alex's face through the speech, especially with how pronounced his reactions tend to be.<br /><br />But... the most there is, is a brief twitch of a brow over her admission of being a vampire. Otherwise, he remains silent, and still, calmly listening to every single word Lacrima speaks out.<br /><br />He remains silent for a long moment even after she's done, and it's then that his eyes move back down to the donut, studying it for a moment in her stead.<br /><br />"I wish I could give you an answer to all that," he says eventually, with a sigh, and slowly sets the donut down for the time being. "But I don't, really. Even if I knew what *I* would do in that kind of situation... I am not sure it could be the same for you. Some answers? Some answers we have to find out for ourselves. And that is the only answer and truth that will be ours."<br /><br />"Your brother, though... I believe he could, eventually, accept you again." This is the first, where Alex's expression shifts to a smile -- even if it is a faintly rueful one. "That's the thing about family, you know? I... have a sister. She's not here in Japan, right now, but... She's important to me. More important than my parents, anyway. But I've done a lot of wrong by her. Plenty of times. She's hated me for a lot of those times, and I've hated myself for doing that to her."<br /><br />"...But in the end she's always accepted me. Not really because of some notion that she 'has' to, but..." He lets out a heavy sigh there, and peeks off to the side. "...I just never gave up on her. So she never gave up on me, either."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima nods a bit. "I didn't. Ask for this to happen to me." she says quietly. "I bought a necklace in a second hand shop. It looked pretty." she asides. "Then It did this to me." she says.<br /><br />"Early on. I tried to deny my 'new nature'. I starved myself. This was a mistake." she says quietly. "When I 'starve' myself. I become irrational. Wide eyed. Eventually I just become this... feral thing." she says. "And attack and drain until I 'come to' again." she says.<br /><br />"In the end. I'm not much different than. These monsters that attack people. I'm made of a similar energy as them. I just have the benefit of having intelligence and a memory of what it is to 'be human'." she says. "Most of those 'monsters' have never been anything close to human. Ever."<br /><br />"It's why. I eat so much." she motions. "Eating is one of the few 'human' things I can do easily. So I do it often, and it helps me feel better." she says.<br /><br />She looks down. "The amount of people who... 'accept me' is a very small list." she says quietly.<br /><br />She looks up again. "Why is your sister not here with you?" she asks curiously.

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"It's that difference that is the most important though, isn't it?" Alex points out, and now finally pauses momentarily to take a btie out of a donut. As opposed to, see, shoving it whole into his mouth. "Because you? You get to *choose*."<br /><br />The question of his sister, he just slowly shakes his head on. "Mostly because she's the favourite child and gets to do what she likes instead of getting dragged here right away. ...Well, that's to say, she's off on some camp with her old school people in Europe. Or something like that. She'll probably come here eventually."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima head tilts. "I get to choose. Within reason. I still need to. Effectivly. Attack people. To feed." she says.<br /><br />"It's that. Or a starve myself and just hurt more people when I'm not in control. It is possible for me to. Kill someone. By draining. If I'm not in control..." she asides. "Well..."<br /><br />"You can see why it's important for me to not starve myself." she says.<br /><br />She looks around. "I should... I should go." she says quietly. "And get home, before... Jiaying-chan worries about me." she says.<br /><br />She looks down at the remaining box of donuts she has and pushes it toward's Alexis. "You can have this. I haven't touched it."<br /><br />"I..."<br /><br />"Thank you. For listening to me. Alexis. And answering my odd questions." she says quietly.<br /><br />She'll begin to leave unless Alexis tries to stop her for anything.

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"...Hey," Alex calls after Lacrima, without standing up from the bench, at least not right away there. "You still get to choose what you do with what you are. You might have obligations with it, but... You don't have to be a monster if you don't want to. You don't really seem like you do, anyway."<br /><br />"We might not get to choose how we are, but we do get to choose what to do with it. That's the most important part."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima stops and turns around and head tilts. "I don't want to be a monster." she says. "I'm still a ... person. if not Human." she says quietly. "If you can understand that." she says. Then she'll quietly leave.<br /><br />Also, it begins to sprinkle rain juuuuust as she leaves. Looks like the promise of that grey sky is coming true!
}}