View source for 2360/A Matter Of Privacy and Past.

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2017/01/17
|Location=Plot Room #1
|Synopsis=Eilam comes to terms with the fact some people saw his past that he doesn't like talking about. Lacrima tries to console and also be adorable at him. Possibly suceeds. Maybe.
|Cast of Characters=160,174
|pretty=yes
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{{Poses
|Poses=:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima has seen Mamoru and Kunzite out and has stepped away from the door upon closing it. And locking it.<br /><br />She walks back up the stairs in the quiet manor. She debates between giving Eilam a few moments and waiting until tommrow, or going in now.<br /><br />She sort of levels with standing in front of the door for fifteen minutes before she enters again and closes the door behind her.<br /><br />She keeps herself faced toward's the door when she speaks.<br /><br />"I'm sorry about that." she says softly. Like it was her fault. Or there was something she could had done to stop it.

:'''{{#var:174|Eilam Hisakawa| (174)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"What did you see? Tell me." He spoke softly after she finally said something, after she finally came in. He was still seated, if she saw, right where he was when she left. Seated on the bed, hugging his knees to him, staring at nothing. He was lost for the time being in his own mind.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Perhaps he didn't even have the energy to move either, though he was sitting upright, so that was something. Not to mention at least for the moment, the Return had buggered off to somewhere else at least a little. Probably before coming back soon enough, but being interrupted like that was certainly enough to interrupt the flow that had been going.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Be honest, speak fully. I saw bits and pieces of others... of you... memories, or experiences or... I do not know." It almost seemed like a demand despite the small elaboration. He really didn't know what happened, just what he experienced and is terrified at the idea of the others there experiencing such of /him/.

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima frowns a little and head tilts as she turns around and begins to approach the bed. "I saw a house." she says quietly. "An old one. Like the ones I see when I dream of the person who had my power before." she says quietly. "But a different part of the world. I think." she says.<br /><br />"You were in a building with a girl who looked unhappy. Then men with pitchforks. I moved forward. And I ended up in another series of visions." she says softly.<br /><br />She knows what Eilam likes his privacy, but she also wants to be honest to Eilam.<br /><br />"That's okay. I didn't want people to see anything like that from me either." she says quietly.<br /><br />She gently moves to sit on the bed and gently places her hands into her lap.<br /><br />"Are you gonna be okay?" she asks.

:'''{{#var:174|Eilam Hisakawa| (174)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;When she got close enough, she might be able to see he was shivering a tiny bit. Scared, actually. "It's all gone. Every bit of control I have built over hundreds of years... everything I have worked towards. The only way I could... get it back is to... do things I am not certain I could stomach. Whatever this thing is... can expose me to anyone it wishes, whenever it wants. Things that no one but me should ever know. Memories, the past... things that were erased with time for everyone in existence except me... now others know."<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;It was in a very small way, but his breathing even seemed a bit uneven. Not crying, so much as honestly panicing. "i do not know what to do. I do not want any more blood on my hands, not after centuries of working to prevent that happening again. Loose ends, those I cannot trust. Things that I cannot control..." This was a side of him not many got to see. He normally carries himself so well, lets only what he wants others to see be there. But this, that veil of privacy and security he was able to put was just stripped away suddenly without warning. The Wizard of Oz had the curtain pulled back and now there was no going back without killing Dorothy and her friends, and their little dog too.

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima just keeps quiet and listens. Control. Things she no longer had over her life either. If she had control, she wouldn't be here. She'd be pretending to still be Norie, perfectly. She gently gives a few moments for Eilam to get it out.<br /><br />She does take in the insituation of things Eilam has done in the past. She doesn't seem to respond to it. She's seen 'Podoeroso' do too many horrible things to be phased by mere acts of killing- personal or not.<br /><br />She waits a few moments more.<br /><br />"I'm sorry... Eilam-kun." she says softly.<br /><br />"I did not want anyone to understand how I used to be. I did not want anyone to see me drive away my last friend. I did not want anyone to see the first time I realized I was never going to be human again. I did not want anyone to know my brother used to call me 'cupcake' until I did that to him. I did not want anyone to see Natsumi-chan kiss me for the first time." she says quietly.<br /><br />"But it's done. And there isn't much I can do about it."<br /><br />"Please do not worry..."<br /><br />"Mamoru-kun... he's able to. Do that without the help of whatever this is. He is Psychometric. He doesn't talk about what he sees without permission. I'm sure of it." she says quietly.<br /><br />"Kunzite, likewise, he... keeps. Private. Private." she says softly.<br /><br />"And I'm not telling anyone else what I saw. It isn't relevant to helping you right now." she says softly. "And Mamoru and Kunzite would not appreciate me telling others what I saw. I'm rather sure of it." she says.<br /><br />She sits there quietly.<br /><br />"Relax." she says quietly. "If I am not worrying about it, then you do not need to worry about it. Because my body and what I am is aligned to worry and if I am not worrying, that means something." she says softly.

:'''{{#var:174|Eilam Hisakawa| (174)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I have to worry!" Eilam finally shouts towards her, "The last time I put my whole faith in someone else I was... I was..." he trailed off with a snort, "...you saw, so you should know. You know how much my privacy means to me and while I cannot blame you for whatever this thing is that is happening to me, you brought someone who could break that privacy... and I would never have known they did unless you had just mentioned it on an off remark?" There was a hint of anger there as he turned, looking like he wanted to do something with his hands other than just hug his knees. He refrained from such, though.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I have to, you naive child. You do not know how evil people can truly be. You may know magic, you may know a lot about things I do not... but you have never known what others can truly do until you see someone reasoning away their humanity and conscience with logic, or fanaticism. Conviction, and beliefs. All it takes is any of them, any of you, to think 'I have to' 'I have no choice'. A single instance and I am done."<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Eilam started to push himself upright but he didn't have the strength to actually do so with his arms and wound up falling onto his side on the bed with a rather choice swear in another language. "Would you like to know why I cannot relax, child?" Again, calling her a child. Something he hadn't done before until right now. He was angry, he was bitter, not even at her, just at everything. Yes, he was frustrated at her, but not... angry. Not yet. "Because there are ways to doom an immortal for eternity that are far worse than death. Death is a release that I do not have. You? Can run off to whatever light-toting twelve year old and piss them off until they blast you with a magical flashlight. I do not have that. What happens if someone overhears speak of me? Of someone who is ageless? Immortal?"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;He was staring right at her eyes, "What happens when someone reasons that my suffering is worth the benefit of humanity?! When they can reason away their own morals and torture me in the hopes of learning how to extend their life, or gain fortune or fame?! It has happened before! What happens when some religious fanatic thinks I am the spawn of the devil, some monster, and decides to try and find a way to cleanse the world of me?! I can tell you exactly what happens! You learn to fear humans. You learn to worry." He was actually crying a bit at this point, having worked himself up from frustrated to properly angry. "That is why I was trying so hard to protect you from ever learning that... and why it hurt me so much having to force myself to step back, to... not... to not do the very same to you... in the name of protecting you. Your life, your existence, is your own. To prosper or suffer in. The only time I will ever step in is if you ask me to, and because of that... you cannot possibly understand why I have to worry. Even if you saw every memory I had, I do not know if you could understand it without another two hundred years."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima just listens. She doesn't move. or react. She doesn't. Move, or squeeze her hands or react in any way. She merely listens. And listens. and listens. He acusses her of many things not knowing many things. She purses her lips in thought a moment.<br /><br />"It is dusk." she says quietly. "I am in a village. When I look up... I can see a castle, on a hilltop. I am in a dress- like I am in now. I am always dressed in these dreams. Like I am royalty or nobility." she says.<br /><br />"No one ever sees me." she says.<br /><br />"There are men. They are dragging women and men and children out of the homes. THe mean wear cloaks and odd slightly slanted hats. There is screaming."<br /><br />"The Tribunal." she says. "I hear that screamed. It's a warning. That's what the offical name would had been. Back then. 'The Tribunal of the Holy Office of the Inquisition'." she says. "The Sqanish Inquisition is what we call it now." she says.<br /><br />"These people worship the false count. The one in the castle. The one who had my power before." she says quietly.<br /><br />"I know he can hear the screams. I've had this dream before- but from the other side. He does nothing. He doesn't care. The suffering sustains him in ways energy can't sometimes." she says.<br /><br />"The men start. Passing judgement. Stakes get setup. Fires get started. People are given the chance to repent but even those that take it are put to the block anyways- because you can't really hear anything. Among the screaming and the panic." she says.<br /><br />"There's no reason for this. I still watch everything. I can't leave the dream until it decides it's over. These people are innocent. They pay a tithe to the lord in the castle. That's it. For what is supposed to be protection from things like this." she says.<br /><br />"I am young. But I live a two hundred year old life in my dreams- of a time many many years in the past. I have not seen it all. But I have seen much. And I have seen such hate- and what people were capable of. What they are capable of- for things like power and immortality and money and greed and selfishness and many many other such things." she says quietly.<br /><br />"To say that. I could not understand..."<br /><br />"No. I do. I could."<br /><br />"I wait for the day a man kicks down my door, saying that he was sent by the itallians to end my reign like his ancestors did. What reign? I am a girl. In a manor. Who likes donuts. But he would never understand that." she says quietly.<br /><br />She does not refute anything about being called a child. If it was anyone else. She might be upset. But she is trying to control her feelings for Eilam's sake right now.<br /><br />"...they're magical." she says. "Or I would offer to hypnotize them to make them forget." she says quietly.<br /><br />"But I am not strong enough to do that to others like them." she says.<br /><br />"Sorry..."

:'''{{#var:174|Eilam Hisakawa| (174)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Eilam found himself simply laying there, quietly, as she spoke. He couldn't really stay angry at her. He wasn't angry at her to begin with, he was scared. Her talk of dreams and seeing others memories, it was certainly not something he was aware could happen. Though with magic, anything, it seems, is possible. But he didn't offer to protect her, or be there for her. No attempt to play the white knight or hero. Instead he rolled over slightly and was once again laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I have to worry. There is nothing else /I/ can do. I will be leaving here and going somewhere on my own. I do not know where. Away. Maybe. I both wish to be alone, and do not want to be alone. You may have memories of those things, dreams... but that was not you. You are still a child. You have friends. Companions. Those you trust. You have a life. I... I do not have those things. All I have is existing. It is much different. I stopped living centuries ago out of fear others would see such."<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;A tiny shiver ran through him. "I really wish at points like this I could get drunk, or... that drugs had any lingering effect on me. The only things that have any effect are the substances which remain in my blood for some time. And even those..." a soft huff of a sound escapes him. "I will leave as soon as I have the strength to get up. If I get that strength. This is your home, I am in no position to tell you to stay or leave." which had to be the most tsundere way of approaching that remark. "I hope your Natsumi never hurts you. If she really makes you feel something, and you wish to be around her, then do so. Be selfish. Because others will try to greedily get in the way of your living. Do not be like me. If you truly feel you can live without worrying like I do... then by all means."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima frowns. "If you leave. I am going with you." she says quietly.<br /><br />This is said like a statement of fact.<br /><br />"Have you considered it's time to stop running...?" she says quietly. "Do you really think myself, or any friends you've made, are going to let such a thing happen to you unpunished or answered?" she asks quietly.<br /><br />"I do not care what others think." she says flatly. "We live in an age where yes. Information is easily accessible. But we also now live in an age where people are more skeptical than ever, consequnitly." she says.<br /><br />There is a soft pause. "But I don't want to be here anymore if you're not here, Eilam-kun." she says softly.<br /><br />She slowly stands and begins to walk out.<br /><br />"We will be handling this problem before you leave." she says softly. She however, stops.. mid leave and then walks back. She sits back down on the bed. And then frowns.<br /><br />"I want to stay here. For now." she says.<br /><br />"And it is my house."<br /><br />"And you cannot make me leave." she insists.
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