View source for 2923/Oinks In The Dark

{{Log Header
|Date of Scene=2017/09/26
|Location=Mitakihara - Four Clover Mall
|Synopsis=Lacrima's Ham Sandwich goes on a rampage and mustard is just naturally evil anyways. Dengeki Shoujo, Tuxedo Kamen and Ariel Theodore show up to beat it up. Rashmi saves dinner with curry at the end. Like some sort of. Curry delivering mage bumblebee.
|Cast of Characters=160,200,157,38,182,198
|pretty=yes
}}
{{Poses
|Poses=:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>** About three hours ago. **<br /><br />Lacrima is working in her UMBRA Lab on a larger crystal project. She still needs a power source. So she's been working on trying to make one that also isn't 'some sort of ancient trapped sungod that wants to eat the Earth.'. She has a spectacular two large ham and cheese subs from the cafeteria. Eclipse cafeterias are perfectly catered by the best shops. It means these are some pretty high quality subs. She's looking forward to stuffing her face in a moment.<br /><br />AFTER she fills the crystal. Which she begins to do. In short pulses. Fill it up slowly. As not to tax it. This would work. If it also didn't immediatly crack the crystal and start to leak immediatly as shards break off. She flails to close it quickly but this doesn't stop the dark energy from playing around her sandwhiches and....<br /><br />"SQEEUAAALLLLL." let out the sandwhiches as the piles of ham on it grow stubby legs, and a curly tail and FLIES out the lab door.<br /><br />"What?" goes a shellshocked Lacrima, before she drops everything and starts chasing them.<br /><br />** Present Time **<br /><br />Lacrima is walking around a mall with a detecting device of some sort that looks like some sort of price-checkout gun with a spinny thing. STILL in her labcoat and she looks like she's about had it as she sneaks around the mall at night. The MALL is still open so she's getting looks but people think the night always brings the weirdos out anyways.<br /><br />"Here ... piggy piggy piggy." she's muttering under her breath. This is when one of her ham subs fly through the air past her. PRACTICALLY unseen because of the dark and maybe no one wants to admit a pig sammich just flew through the air towards the sandwhich shop. She blinks.<br /><br />"Oh. Oh no that's not good." she says as she begins to book it faster.<br /><br />Things being to feel weird. People begin to clear out. She recognizes the sign of 'something stupid' is about to happen easily. Maybe she should text some people.<br /><br />She in fact does this quickly. <br /><br />'Evil Ham Sandwhich. 4Clover Mall. No Time to Explain.'<br /><br />She messages to the people she knows.

:'''{{#var:200|Kokoro Akakuma| (200)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Why is Kokoro out? It's not really important. She got in an argument with someone online, or something. Felt a need to take a walk and clear her head.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Which is convenient, because it puts her in the mall at approximately why o'clock, which is around the same time as Lacrima's sandwich becomes a problem. So as soon as Lacrima sends the text, she hears a text notification from about 15 feet away.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"...uh..."<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Kokoro blinks. She looks at her phone. She looks up at Lacrima.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"...evil ham sandwich?"

:'''{{#var:157|Ariel Theodore| (157)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;You know the funny thing about that text is Ariel can't make heads nor tails of it. She ALSO happens to be at the mall as well, with Lucky in tow on leash.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Thumbing at her cellphone when she sees she has a text, she squints at the screen.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;''. o O (Evil ham sandwich???)''<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;There is a bewildered moment before she squints, tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth as the starts to two-thumb a reply.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;'Norie, just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I'd ever judge you for eating mea'<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Her thumb hits send before she actually ''finishes'' the text because a ham sandwich goes flying by and...<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"WURF"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"What? Luck-EEEEEEEEEEE?!!?"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Her giant dog is instantly up. Her giant dog is instantly chasing a flying sandwich at top speed.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Her giant dog is dragging her after it on his leash.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ariel bleats sharply as she's yanked along after it for what will be one hell of a ride.

:'''{{#var:38|Mamoru Chiba| (38)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>A text comes back from Mamoru:<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;TXT: oh thank god, brt<br /><br />He was ''not'' already out. It's just... 'gotta go, Sailor Moon's in trouble' isn't an excuse he can use so often anymore to get out of uncomfortable or prolonged conversations; she's so much better at dodging than she used to be. And there are still lots of people coming and going from his house, and Hiroshi is also still there, and Kunzite and Hiroshi in close quarters is... well, Mamoru can handle it under controlled circumstances, but whenever his house is a circus it's NOT controlled circumstances.<br /><br />Suffice it to say, 'gotta go, something's attacking the mall and a friend needs help' is as good an excuse to escape as any.<br /><br />He's gonna be a minute. He's not desperate enough to teleport without dramamine; he'll just top-speed the rooftops.<br /><br />And... sort of... show up at the mall in henshin but without cape, and with Sunglasses At Night instead of his usual white mask, and listen for screaming.<br /><br />Oh! There's screaming!<br /><br />Still gonna be a minute, they just opened a new ThinkGeek store here.

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>For once in his life, Alex is having a perfectly relaxed day. The color gangers and yakuza flunkies he's been having issues with haven't been bothering him, and his parents aren't pulling any nonsense orders or restrictions on him. He doesn't even have any homework to deal with!<br /><br />Actually, he does have homework to deal with, but he's putting it off. Because it's some complex math nonsense again.<br /><br />But nevermind that, the point is, that he's at the Mall COINCIDENTALLY ALSO... and slipping out of the videogame store in the middle of a gaggle of other teenagers in hopes that no one sees him. And most certainly hoping that no one saw him taking advantage of his free time to go into the store and buy the newest entry in some RPG franchise with incredibly, unnecessarily elaborate game mechanics and stuff the copy of it into the messenger bag at his side that happens to hold his various things of Bring Out In Case Of Inadequate Fists. And yes, that is the official name for his inventory.<br /><br />INcidentally, he isn't getting the text message. Because, you know, Norie probably wouldn't be calling Alex to try to be a hero after what happened LAST TIME.<br /><br />But he does end up getting into the very unfortunate vector path of a certain someone and something. More specifically something rather than someone.<br /><br />A loud WURF gets his attention first with a quiet "Nyeh?" and his eyes turn towards...<br /><br />A giant dog about to bound past him. Around him? No, probably right over him.<br /><br />"...Schei--"

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima turns towards Kokoro. "OH!" she says. "You didn't see that? A ham sandwhich flew by. It's mine. It went into that sandwhich shop. We um... " she looks down at her tool. "The Dark Energy is spiking." she says. Then... oh dear. "Lucky... Ari-chan..." she blinks.<br /><br />"Nono! Bad idea! No!" she calls out.<br /><br />The Ham sandwich makes it to the shop. The SECOND SANDWICH!? Was in there already. TWO SANDWHICHES. JOINED AS ONE. IN A SANDWHICH SHOP.<br /><br />There's a giant magical explosion of sorts. Not huge. More like a bright flash that also doesn't blow things up, as Lacrima covers her eyes.<br /><br />She doesn't see Mamoru over there in a tuxedo with sunglasses at night.<br /><br />Squeezing out of the shop is a giant, huge, ham sub. Huge seems to be large enough to nearly hit the ceiling of the Mall. It doesn't even look super disgusting. It's like a large, mobile, pristine ham sandwich. With hammy legs. And a squiggly tail. And now a giant nose.<br /><br />"OINK!" it lets out thunderously.<br /><br />It raises it's legs and jumps down a shockwave lets out.<br /><br />People continue to run and trip and fall while now there's a giant ham sandwich.<br /><br />Lacrima sighs and braces and winces through the shake. She's already kind of vampired up right now. She looks down at the tool, back up and the sandwich and then the tool again and she just shoves it into her labcoat.<br /><br />"ALL I WANTED WAS DINNER. WAS THAT SO BAD!?" she calls out at the giant foodstuffs.<br /><br />"OINK!"<br /><br />"SHUT UP!"<br /><br />"OINK!"<br /><br />"I SAID SHUT UP!"<br /><br />"OINK!"<br /><br />"...Why am I arguing with a giant ham sandwhich Kokoro-chan can we please just beat it up." she says with wide eyes.<br /><br />"Before Ariel-chan gets over her head because she's a vegetarian and I don't think she'll fight a meat sandwich because of it..." a pause.<br /><br />"Alexis-kun..." she suddenly looks around. Why does she hear....<br /><br />Oh dear.

:'''{{#var:200|Kokoro Akakuma| (200)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Wasn't really paying attention," Kokoro admits, scratching the side of her head with muted embarrassment. Pause. "...why's your sandwich got dark ener-"<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Words stop, because words fail. There goes a sandwich. There goes Ariel and Lucky. There goes the dark magic. There goes dinner. On a rampage.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Hang on." Kokoro lunges down the nearest 'we put bathrooms and employee entrances here' side hall . There's a distinct sound of lots of electricity from somewhere back there, and then out of the nearest clothing store comes a crimson-haired thunder lass, stampeding right on out with her hammer over her shoulder. "Oi! Snuffles the Sandwich!" Dengeki Shoujo yells.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She waits until the moment she has its attention, and then she hurls herself through the air straight at it, swinging her hammer around in an attempt tp smash it with a charged-up hammer swing right on the nose. "SETTLE DOWN OR I'M GONNA GET ROUGH!"

:'''{{#var:157|Ariel Theodore| (157)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"WURF WURF!"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"LOOK OUT! EXCUSE US COMINGTHROUGH!"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Lucky wants that sandwich. And though Ariel attempts polite but hasty warnings... The big hound is not going to go around Alexis. He's too big to slide under his legs. And he's not going to go over him.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Lucky keeps on going- through Alexis if he has to- which means there's a tumble. A tussle. Another sharp bleat.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;And then Lucky is off at top speed again.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Now dragging Ariel in tow... ''AND'' Alexis with her.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Hi MISTER RASKOPH, I AM SO SORRY HE'S USUALLY MUCH BETTER BEHAVED." She squeals as Lucky bounds toward the sandwich shop.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Then there's a flash.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Then he's staring down a full sized giant piggy sub. There is a moment of pause. A stare. And then a YIPE before Lucky turns right back around and Nopes out and away from the store, leash trailing behind him. And leaving Ariel and Alexis behind too.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Um."<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ariel who is picking herself up right now and staring.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She leans over to Alexis. "Maybe if we tell it we're vegetarian it will leave us alone." It's true in her case. It's a fair suggestion for a little white like for Alexis, if he isn't. Either way she ducks and scrambles out of the way when Kokoro- now Dengeki shoujo is on the scene with her usual 'I'm gonna wreck it' methodology.

:'''{{#var:38|Mamoru Chiba| (38)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Mamoru has literally never been so glad to be wearing sunglasses at night. That was a ''really bright flash'', and he finally gets him to tear his gaze away from the ThinkGeek store's really distracting window display. (Merch! There's a him keychain in there! OMG)<br /><br />Most of the people in the mall are smart and run /away/ from the giant oinking ham sandwich.<br /><br />Most of the people in the mall are not...<br /><br />'''''Tuxedo Shades''''', Completely Normal Overdressed Prom Date Lost At The Mall, Really!<br /><br />Because this guy, he's running toward the flash and the screaming, and then literally leaping overhead and up onto the second-floor balcony from the ground floor in order to run on the railing long enough to get to the weird clover-shaped lighting fixture hanging above ''more or less'' where the giant sandwich (and Lacrima and Kokoro and Kokoro's Hammer) are.<br /><br />He calls down to Lacrima, rose in one gloved hand, footing on the polished chrome a little slippery and other hand holding him steady on the lighting fixture, "Do you want me to justice speech it or just throw stuff?"<br /><br />Oh hey, Ariel! And Alexis!<br /><br />"No, it's a giant ham that's got a beef, I don't think diet matters," he calls down to her.

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Alex's German Profanity never really comes through fully. What instead finishes the sound started by his vocal chords is a resounding "BLRGL!"<br /><br />And just like that, with him having fallen victim to a weight-tossing stampede of HUNGRY DOG! he somehow finds himself caught up in the leash that drags Ariel behind the beast. And now himself, for that matter, except he's on his back with his eyes sent far to the ceiling and his head bouncing off the tiling over and over and over and ow ow ow ow ow. "WHY ALWAYS WITH THE DOGS?!"<br /><br />And then, when the hound finally stops long enough for him and Ari to get loosened from the leash, he sliiiides a few inches along over still... and he finds himself face-to-face with a giant ham sandwich.<br /><br />"...You have got to be kidding me."<br /><br />Alex suddenly remembers why he willfully got himself drunk at the new years' party immediately following him being explained the nature of MAGICAL GIRLS. But nevermind that for now.<br /><br />"I don't think..." he starts to whisper back to Ariel, at least, right before Tuxedo Shades...<br /><br />Well, does Tuxedo Shades. And Alex ends up staring at *him* instead of the ham.<br /><br />"THAT WAS FREAKIN' TERRIBLE."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Lacrima quickly calls out. "IT'S A HAM SANDWICH. I DON'T THINK It CARES ABOUT JUSTICE SPEECHES." she calls out. "I THINK IT CARES ABOUT MUSTARD AND CONDIMENTS." she calls out. She looks to Kokoro and eyes her. "An experiment leak. It infected my lunch. Then the lunch flew out the door. Then I chased it but not before grabbing my little reader." she says.<br /><br />Oh god. Tuxedo Kamen. She places her hands to her head as she just rubs her face as the giant ham sandwhich turns to Kokoro and squeeeals loudly and begins to charge, being the directly agreesive one here. It makes a leap , it's trying to bellyflop.<br /><br />Lacrima's eyes go wide and she begins to run to the right towards the dining area. Kokoro can probably suplex this thing for all Lacrima knows and thinks. Lacrima is not nearly as physically dominant.<br /><br />She's making for Ariel and Alexis right now.<br /><br />"...did I text you by accident Alexis-kun." she frowns. "Maybe I should let the ham sandwich. break your nose." she says.<br /><br />This is the first time she's seen him since.<br /><br />Well.<br /><br />"Would you like that?" she asks cooly.<br /><br />She looks to Ariel. "Hi Ari-chan." she says. Let's pretend she didn't just threaten Alexis with giant ham sandwich stomping.

:'''{{#var:38|Mamoru Chiba| (38)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"RIGHT!" Tuxedo Shades calls back to Lacrima, then grins down at Alexis. "Thanks!"<br /><br />That said, and Kokoro going after the thing for beatings ''without'' cake, he finally dart-throws the rose directly in the thing's path, making it stick tiltedly in the smooth tiled mall floor like an absolutely lovely severe tire damage spike. "HAMMER GIRL! Don't trip, I just want to give you a chance to ketchup to it!" he yells, throwing another and another in short order, and another for luck, just in case it starts veering a little.<br /><br />'Trap' set, he jumps down a full storey-and-a-half and sprints into the food court, aiming for a fast food joint that people have already cleared out of. There should be a vat of condiments in here ''somewhere''.

:'''{{#var:200|Kokoro Akakuma| (200)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Okay, so that first swing just ticked it off. Kokoro leaps back a ways, bringing her hammer up into a more wary posture and watching the thing move; she's trying to get an idea of its temperament, its movements, figure out what- ...huh. Okay, so it's charging right at her. It's as aggressive as she is. Aaaaand that looks like a bellyflop. "Oh-"<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;CRUNCH.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;But wait. That wasn't the sound of bones breaking. No, that was the sound of tile and concrete buckling. And in the immediate aftermath, another sound immediately becomes obvious - the crackle of electricity.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Arcs dance across Kokoro's arms, leap from her body to the ground. Teeth gritted, body straining, the magical delinquent is supporting pretty much the entire weight of the sandwich on her own. "Gh... this ain't... a pool... so save... yer damn... belly flops... or..." Feet shift. Arms slide. The monstrous strength of Dengeki Shoujo is turned from attempting to hold the Deviled Ham Sandwich up, to attempting to hold onto it. "...or you're gonna..."<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The ground buckles a little more. Kokoro's voice lifts up in a furious roar of effort, and she puts all of her might into heaving upward... and hauling the monster sandwich up-and-over into a titanic suplex, right onto those roses. "GET DUNKED!"

:'''{{#var:157|Ariel Theodore| (157)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"But... Beef comes from cows. That's a pig." Ariel replies to Tuxedo Shades, brimming with confusion as she scratches her head. The act sheds glitter all over Alexis, but she purses her lips. There's Lacrim.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"That's not very nice, Norie." She chides gently. She doesn't know what prompted it, but she merely raises another point: "I think we have priorities to handle."<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;She's motioning for the sammich in question, before clutching the star-shaped pendant at her neck. In a flare of soft white light, she drops her human guise, dreamsteel armor forming up around her and...<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I like ketchup."<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ketchup is a vegetable after all.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;But that is a sidenote as she starts to concentrate, nose scrunching while a shimmering gleam of seashell green light forms at her horn. Kokoro b-b-bodyslams the huge ham, and it's in that instant that Ariel weaves the very gossamer stuff that dreams are made of in the waking world, to form...<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;A spear-sized fork.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Does anyone need a utensil?"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Some people are heathens and eat sandwiches with fork and knife, Ariel is just trying to be helpful and cater to their needs. But well. It's a spear sized fork and maybe someone who isn't a pacifist can put it to better use than she can.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Briefly, Ariel ponders the philosophical ramifications of this moment. Is this battle or is this a meal?

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"...What?"<br /><br />Alex is apparently distracted entirely by Lacrima's... not-so-veiled threat, and he slooowly blinks his eyes at her. And then he promptly catches on to what she is referring to.<br /><br />"Look," he says with a huff. "He -absolutely- deserved it! He should consider himself lucky I didn't--" Whatever else he was going to say is distracted by Ariel very helpfully pointing out that they should really be having OTHER PRIORITIES at the moment.<br /><br />"Yeah, you're right," he murmurs, and finally brings himself standing up-- and without a beat, his hand is already reaching for the fork-spear (though internally he is probably screaming WHY A FORK?! or something similiar). "So this is some dark energy nonsense, is it? Do you just gotta beat it up until it... explodes into not-dark-energy? That's a proper scientific term for it, right? Right? ... Okay."<br /><br />He doesn't quite charge in or anything now, though, ESPECIALLY since Kokoro is very destructively suplexing the thing down. "...Hey, Norie?" he lets out, with a sideward peek to Lacrima's way. "...How cooked is the ham in there? Just... you know. Curious."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Dengeki Shoujo is leapt upon by a giant oinking ham sandwich and it crushes...? Not it doesn't crush her but instead she flips it with much strength and power onto it's... top bun? Back? look the point is it's legs are in the leg and it's underside is exposed without worrying too much about the anatomical terms related to sandwiches.<br /><br />Those roses act like flowery toothpicks, keeping it stuck to the floor for a moment. It isn't making it easy for it to get back up.<br /><br />Lacrima eyes that fork. "Alexis-kun had that coming." she says as she narrows her eyes and grabs the fork. Assuming Ariel can make more..or. She did take the new one Ariel made.<br /><br />She eyes Alexis. She isn't happy about the sandwich still.<br /><br />"I'm going to stab this thing. And I swear to god."<br /><br />"I am buying myself another one after this."<br /><br />"AND IT BETTER NOT TURN INTO A STUPID MONSTER." she swears out loud as she lets herself fly foward in her lab coat and then attempt to stab the fork into it's exposed underbelly.<br /><br />"Oh my god." she adds. "Why are you asking that. It's Dark energy infused. It was cooked when I bought it. DON'T YOU DARE EAT IT IT IS MY SANDWICH." she yells.

:'''{{#var:157|Ariel Theodore| (157)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ariel just quietly gives Lacrima a soulful stare of utter, piteous, confusion.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"But if you're going to stab it and buy another one why can't someone else eat it?"<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Not her, someone who eats meat-- look the point is, this is not Ariel's evening, when it comes to understanding other people's motives and intentions, and she is flailingly in the dark. But yes, she has formed another fork for those who need utensils.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Then there's a BARK.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Bounding in from a completely different direction, Lucky comes rushing back onto the scene, tongue lolled out as he charges the sandwich for a full on sprint.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"--Lucky no! That is Norie's sandwich!" Ariel bleats as her dog leaps, snapping jaws for a bite.

:'''{{#var:38|Mamoru Chiba| (38)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Finally, Tuxedo Shades reappears from behind (and underneath) the counter of Local Fast Foreign Food Place, hauling something heavy and red--<br /><br />--it THUNKS onto the counter, it's a giant bottle of Sriracha.<br /><br />No one can see how wide his eyes get behind the shades. "LUCKY! NO! DON'T EAT THAT, DARK ENERGY IS EMPTY CALORIES!"<br /><br />He jumps onto the counter, tips the bottle over, and quickly puts his hands on it; they glow, and glow brighter, and the bottle glows under them, and then he abruptly stands up and STOMPS on it. Its nozzle is set on 'thin and vicious stream of hot sauce' and it's pointed directly at the speared sandwich.<br /><br />"<span class=" bold_fg_r bg_n ++ hr">Tuxedo la Sriracha Bomber!!</span>"

:'''{{#var:200|Kokoro Akakuma| (200)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Strong as Kokoro is, that much was pushing it even for her. Once the submarine swine has crashed down, she releases her hold and stumbles the other way, panting. Her hammer is right there, fortunately, and she can lean her weight on it for a few seconds to catch her breath.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Thankfully, the roses are keeping it pinned long enough for her to come up with her next move. She looks between the monstrous sandwich's exposed underside, and the second floor, and the sandwich again. "...heh."<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The head of Dengeki Shoujo's hammer begins to crackle, as a charge starts building up rapidly. Up the thunderous magical girl leaps, soaring up onto the second floor with little effort. She takes a short run further down to put herself in just the right position, and then stops, taking one last moment to sling her lightning-globe of a magical weapon up into a ready stance. Everyone else here is much better at witty than Kokoro is - she's already blown her wit budget on 'get dunked', and when she tries without that metaphorical financing, well, that's when 'Dengeki Shoujo' happens. So rather than try, she just settles for an attack yell.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"<span style="color:red">TENHA JINRAI!</span>"<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;And then she vaults, as high as she can go, high enough that arcs from her hammer dance across the ceiling. Then gravity reasserts itself and gives her swing just that extra bit of oomph.

:'''{{#var:182|Alexis Raskoph| (182)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"THAT IS NOT WHY I AM ASKING I JUST FIGURED MAYBE--"<br /><br />Alex's protests are cut short by...<br /><br />Well basically everything happening. La Spiracha Bomber. Tenha Jinrai.<br /><br />"...Noooorie-Imouto?" He murmurs with his hand going over to tug onto Lacrima's shoulder in an effort to keep her from moving over. "Now might be a good idea to stay out of the--" And suddenly LUCKY. Leaping for the DELICIOUS HAM TREAT.<br /><br />"...Way."<br /><br />And despite the stampede he'd been subjected to being very fresh in his memory, Alex suddenly BOLTS forward, right past Lacrima despite him not even a second ago just saying SHE should be staying back-- and then HE is leaping up nad over, arms outreached to guide himself into collision course with the airborne Lucky. He has NO idea if Lucky is magical or not, but he isn't about to take any chances here. All the other civilians have run away anyway, so clearly his role today is CANINE RESCUER!

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Did. Did Alexis just call her. Imouto. She doesn't know how to feel about this and it catches her in shoch primarily after she's come down from stabbing the fork into the creature BEFORE Kokoro comes down on it and...<br /><br />It is not a pleasant thing that happens. Hamppens.<br /><br />Ham slices. Big ham slices flurt out everywhere. Followed by an oiiiiiinnkkkkkkk of agony. It didn't like that. Not to mention the siracha that flies about too after it.<br /><br />Giant ham slices are about two feet wide. Not crushingly huge. But this doesn't stop Lacrima from being slapped in the right shoulder. She frowns a little and sighs.<br /><br />"Ughhhhhhhh...." she lets out in a disgusted manner.<br /><br />She sighs and pulls out her little reader and points it at the writhing sandwich. "It's weaking heavily." she says as she sighs and stays away, as Alexis urges behind some tables now.<br /><br />She points the reader at the ham piece on her shoulder. "The pieces have trace amounts of dark energy. Probably not a good idea to let Lucky eat them. But a few bites isn't problematic if he does by accident." she surmises.<br /><br />The legs and limbs on the sandwich suddenly retract into itself like the most disguisting turtle. Then pop back out in a right out postion as the squished sandwich stands back up. "SNOOOOOOORT!" it screams out as squirts out a mustard cannon from it's snout around at the heroes.

:'''{{#var:157|Ariel Theodore| (157)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;For point of reference, Lucky is bigger than most average adult men on two legs, and is glowing a bright starlight yellow. He's also REALLY in the mood for ham sammich.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;And Ariel is just bewildered. Vegetarians just don't know how to handle meat monsters.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Thankfully Kokoro is a meat miracle of some kind, and Tuxedo Condiment both seem to have the situation in hand. Then ham goes flying.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;There is a /GULP/ as Lucky snarfs down a piece in spite of warnings of empty calories. For he is a dog, and the notion of proper diet to him amounts to 'anything he can get in his mouth'. But Alexis lunges in and...<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Growrf?!" Alexis can get ahold of the dog by leash and collar, though.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;But Ariel... Poor ''poor'' Ariel bleats. The mustard cannon sneeze goes off and she takes a blast full force, as slices of ham go flying and one lands on her horn.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ariel looks mortified.

:'''{{#var:200|Kokoro Akakuma| (200)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Only as her lightning hammer descends the last meter or so into the Deviled Ham Sandwich does Kokoro realize that leaping hammer first into a condiment-laden sandwich, while Tuxedo Hart unleashes empowered sriracha on it and a star-powered dog lunges for it, might have been a bad ide-<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;KRAKTHOOM.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The deafening report of thunder is followed by a sputtering, coughing Dengeki Shoujo stumbling off the thing onto the ground, and then staggering away for several paces. "Ugh, it's up my ''nose''- *coughcoughcough*!" Meat miracle though she may be, even Kokoro is not immune to 'magically-enhanced hot sauce in the face'. Eyes burning, she stumbles a few more paces to one side, before her hand closes on something made of cloth-<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;That poor, adorable pink shirt. Surely that clothing store will admit it was used for a good cause. Surely.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;When Kokoro turns back around, she's still coughing and red-faced, and her eyes are watering, but at least she can ''see''... for all of about three seconds. Then there is mustard. Splat.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"...alright, I'm done."<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Kokoro hefts her hammer up into a two-handed grip. She marches straight towards the evil sandwich monster. And then she starts swinging. Over, and over, and over.

:'''{{#var:38|Mamoru Chiba| (38)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>Okay, he did not see that coming. Tuxedo Shades is splattered heavily with dark-energy-tainted mustered, cannoned right off the countertop and back behind it.<br /><br />There's a crackling sound.<br /><br />"OKAY--" he bellows, rising from the messy darkness, sword in hand, henshined into full Prince mode with armor and everything, and there is ''still mustard in his hair''. "ENOUGH. You got my LEAST FAVORITE CONDIMENT in my HAIR."<br /><br />He jumps back up onto the counter and directly into a puddle of mustard, which means his feet go right out from under him and he lands on his butt, ''hard''.<br /><br />Bonus: now he looks ''really'' mad.<br /><br />"Norie-chan I hope you like your cold cuts THINLY SLICED!" he yells, scrambling to his feet and barrelling at the monster with his piteously overdressed damascus steel bastard sword. He only slips a couple more times on the way, and doesn't lose a lot of momentum in recovery before he's treating the sandwich like a pell on the side opposite Kokoro.

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>The giant evil ham sandwich is kind of already on it's last legs, with what- ham everywhere and spewing mustard. Kokoro decides it's hammer time again and again. AND again. On top of this, Tuxedo Kamen has changed to Prince Endymion and is currently using his sharp sword to slice the other end of it. bread and meat being sliced off like butter. Really. This sandwich is done for. And you know so because it starts being overtaken by a black foul mist which begins to evaporate and soon Endymion and Kokoro find themselves either slicing through air or hitting the ground as the mist evaporates into nothing leaving behind.... two poor squish normal sized subs that at one point looked like extremely high end submarine sandwiches.<br /><br />Lacrima isn't caring about that though right now. Right now she's screaming. "Ariel-chan!" she calls out as she just kind of lets herself dusk step the whole way over to Ariel and frowns. She pulls the ham off her horn and grabs a nearby tablecloth to begin wiping mustard off. Oh dear. "Are you okay Ari-chan!?" she asks.<br /><br />Her eyes peek over to the chaos and... well the end of the Hamppenings over there. She frowns.<br /><br />"Nooo my dinner." she whines.<br /><br />"Where am I going to find subs at this time of night."<br /><br />"Ugh!" she mutters as she goes about making sure Ariel is okay.<br /><br />She eyes Lucky.<br /><br />"Can you lick off mustard." she asks.<br /><br />"Wait. No. Maybe a bad idea." she mutters.<br /><br />She flumps.<br /><br />"Ugh. I didn't even intend for this to happen. Something went wrong in the lab and the stupid energy cascade took over my ham sandwiches." she mutters.<br /><br />"Is everyone alright? Or just severely angry."<br /><br />She mutters. "If you want to yell at me. Do it now. Not like I did this on purpose." she says.<br /><br />"Ugh so much dark energy ham." she mutters. "Why is this even a thing here. Dark energy ham." she says, as she finally peels the slice off her shoulder now. Thank god for lab coats and their intended purposes of protection from substance and dark.. energy ham?

:'''{{#var:157|Ariel Theodore| (157)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ariel is mostly okay. She's just... Coated from head to toe in mustard. Lucky replies to Lacrima with a 'browrf' and starts... Licking mustard off of people.<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"I'm not angry." Ariel says, bracingly, after a few beats. "But um. I'll need a new change of clothes."<br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Because these are all covered in mustard.

:'''{{#var:200|Kokoro Akakuma| (200)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Fwump. Fwump. Fwump.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Kokoro is ambling towards Lacrima. It would be more menacing if she weren't splattered with mustard and sriracha. Even her boots are kind of squelching. But she is walking in that direction, until she comes to a stop and just staaaaaaares. Several long seconds. Uncomfortable seconds.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"...you might be the only person I ever met, needs to put an emergency killswitch on her dinner just in case," she says in a deadpan voice.<br /><br />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;And then Lucky is licking her. This prompts an uncomfortable, puzzled stare, followed by, "I... I, uh. I appreciate the effort, big guy, but it's a lost cause." He gets a sort of half-hearted pet, and then Dengeki Shoujo just turns to leave, wandering off to... well, she has no clue. Figure something out with her clothes.

:'''{{#var:38|Mamoru Chiba| (38)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>It-- it's gone! As if he'd never let his temper get the better of him and literally gone medieval on a ham sandwich, the Crown Prince of Earth wipes sandwich off his royal sword with his cape and sheaths it neatly, straightening up. "I'm fine!" he says a little too loudly, "I got my revenge! I'm not mad at all! Accidents happen!"<br /><br />He starts backing away from Lucky, mustard in his hair and on his cape and -- well really everywhere again, even if this henshin isn't the one that got splattered, because as convenient a solution as dog-licking may be for the ills (like mustard) that plague the world, it is still dog-licking and Mamoru Chiba is still a cat person.<br /><br />Backing awaaaaay.<br /><br />"Terrible accidents. With-- evil ham. And mustard. And mall food courts. And--" and he is out of slip-range of the mustard so he dehenshins really rapidly into Hipster Clothes, which STILL doesn't solve mustard-in-hair, but the restroom should take care of that, "--and I could, uh, I could get you some lunch from home, it won't be a sub, but-- I should go anyway? Like immediately." Dog. Licking. "So why don't I do that..."

:'''{{#var:198|Rashmi Terios| (198)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>"LACCHAN IS EVERYTHING OKAY?!"<br /> <br />Well this has to be a first; a mahou with wings of yellow light, lugging an extra-size takeout box. And while Barrier Jackets to help give their wearer a boost in strength and speed.... stuff be bulky, man.<br /> <br />Luckily, she manages to bumble to a safe landing on the back of a food court chair -- I mean there's mustard and void mayo everwhere, ew -- she thunks the box down. "So you said your sandwich went evil and we've been adding a pork dish to the menu and Papi offered for my friends to try it out and I think Takeba-san went to sleep and it's finally only slightly insane there so--"<br /> <br />*DEEP BREATH*<br /> <br />I brought replacement dinner. Should be enough for everyone."

:'''{{#var:160|Lacrima| (160)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>She blinks to Kokoro. "But..." she sighs. "Be well..." she says quietly to Kokoro. She looks to Mamoru and is about to say something when Rashmi flies onto the scene. like some sort of. Neon. Bumblebee.. delivery. person.<br /><br />"W..wah I'm fine. But there's mustard everywhere. And dark energy ham." a pause.<br /><br />"MAMORU-KUN, CURRY!" she yells as if trying to catch him, but Kokoro is probably too far away. BUT she tries anyways. "KOKORO-CHAN. CURRY!" she calls out.<br /><br />She flumps and sighs.<br /><br />"Yeah. Change of clothes." she mutters as she looks all over her labcoat.<br /><br />"This is a mess." she says to no one in particular as she throws a table upwards for Rashmi to put things down on.

:'''{{#var:38|Mamoru Chiba| (38)}} has posed:'''<br><span></span>The escaping Chiba stops in his tracks and--<br /><br />Slowly he turns, step by step, inch by inch.<br /><br />Curry? That means a) Rashmi is here! AND THERE SHE IS she is very bright and hard to miss. And b) maybe it's less insane at the house, hmm. But more importantly, c) ''there is curry''.<br /><br />"I'll be right back! Gotta get the mustard out of my hair~!" calls Mamoru, and vanishes to go do so. He will be back. Believe it.
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