Talk:Makoto Kino
http://mahoumush.com/scene/index.php?id=1832 MAKO IT'S YOUR POSE :D ~~
What Mamoru is saying brings Makoto's eyes back up to up again, listening; he brow creases slightly. Oh. Her lips form the word without quite making the sound. It takes her another moment or two to come up with any more of a response.
"...I didn't know that," she admits quietly, faintly troubled now for a different reason than before. "About Usagi-chan. I didn't realize... it seemed to me like she was doing it really easily. Maybe too easily. Like at the skating party, towards the beginning of the year - she kept falling and then, poof! Princess." Mako's eyes have gone a little out of focus, remembering. She draws in a breath and lets it out again. "To be honest, it kind of creeped me out. Now that I'm thinking about it, though, that was quite a while ago."
A beat, and then Makoto cracks an apologetic half-smile, and reaches across the table to place her hands lightly in Mamoru's where he's holding them open in front of her. "Maybe I've been part of the problem, without realizing it."
"The henshin," Endymion says, just putting his thumbs lightly over the backs of Makoto's hands. "The henshin is easy. The memories, the idea of her, the idea of her being the same soul -- that's not. She uses the transformation when she can't help it -- like when she takes out the Ginzuishou -- or for reasons like skating better or having any tolerance for alcohol at all; it seems like she's showing off a pretty dress and then putting it away." It's not that his tone is sad, or resigned; his face is maybe a little pained, but it's not disappointment or disapproval.
He laughs a little uncomfortably again and glances away, and his hands don't let go Mako's, but there's no intrusion of his thoughts or feelings: there's only the warm glow there always is at the back of his presence. "I'm not pressing her. I accidentally did, when Flora was here. Because Flora called her Serenity, and-- I thought-- she'd introduced herself so. But she didn't. And she felt like she disappointed me. And I was disappointed, but not in her."
Then the black-haired upperclassman, blue eyes earnest and warm, and maybe still a little more Endymion than Mamoru but clearly in the process of equalizing, looks steadily back at Makoto. "You're not part of the problem," he says firmly. "But you can help better than I can. You knew her when she was small, you grew up with her, laughed with her, protected her, played with her. I think she's afraid of Serenity being a real person. I think she's afraid of being also-Serenity, because her clearest memory is the Fall. If you can remember more than that-- share it with her. You and the other girls. Make Serenity real, make her not scary."
"I can try," Makoto says, but she looks and sounds uncertain. "I don't remember all that much, though. Just little bits and pieces, and a couple of dreams now and then."
Her hands remain resting in his, but she ducks her head a little, shoulders hitching as though she's trying to draw in on herself. "It's not the same as what it's like for you. You're Mamoru Chiba and Endymion both, but... the Jupiter from back then is someone I don't know. The princess, either. It's not that I'm afraid of her, but I don't really know her."
Mamoru brings Makoto's hands together, and he's smiling at her, head tilted a little bit and eyes crinkled at the corners. "You're a lot alike. I think Ami and Minako are the most different, really, and I know the latter is because she carries scars none of us do, and some of them are scabs, and some are still bleeding. But you and Rei-- you especially-- are the most like you were.
"You're a protector, and you love beauty and home and green growing things, and you're passionate and loving and lovely, and you care so much it hurts you sometimes. You're funny and sweet and strong and graceful, and the most loyal of friends, and you never hesitate to cut to the truth of the matter and insist on it, unwavering and solid.
"Yes, your lives are different; yes, here, you've had such heartbreak and pain; you had to go it alone for so long until you met Usa-- but your soul is the same. Your heart is the same. And with a heart like that, is it any wonder Neph fell head over heels for you all over again, even across the darkness? You're more than she was, just as you're more than you were when you were ten, or six. But-- she's not a stranger to you. You see her in the mirror behind your eyes every day."
Silently, then, with that same smile, small and a little crooked and gone a little sad, the prince lets go Makoto's hands and sits back. "And Serenity's no stranger to Usa, either. It's just that she sees her as other, as alien and incomprehensible, as frightening somehow. And she distances herself from that. I know there are some things she remembers; we all got some memories back bit by bit as we found the palaces-- but she doesn't see them as hers. And if she doesn't like her-- she's part of her. And it's different from not liking some things about yourself. Because she has the same soul."
The self-conscious blush rises slowly over Mako's cheeks as she sits quite still and listens to Mamoru's glowing description of her, the comparison of her past life to the present. There's a smile halfway tugging at the corners of her mouth - not displeased, it's just very clear right now that she honestly does not know how to respond to hearing herself described in the terms he's using. At all.
When Mamoru lets go of her hands, one of them automatically goes up to rub awkwardly at the back of her neck. "The thing is..." she begins, hesitating as she tries to grope for the right words. "I get how she feels. It's not exactly the same for me, but... even though we have the same soul, that doesn't make that Jupiter's memories feel like mine."
As her hand drops back to her lap, she lets out a sigh. "It bothers you," she says, regretful and a little apologetic now. "I'm sorry. I know what it's like, feeling like there are parts of you that don't fit. It'd be best if Usagi-chan never had to feel like that. I just don't know how I can help her get past it when I'm not there either. I can't just tell her not to feel how she feels."
Mako looks down at her hands, lying loosely in her lap as she speaks.
