1281/(Never) Pity The Isolated

(Never) Pity The Isolated
Date of Scene:	27 March 2016
Location:	Pikarigaoka - Clover Tower
Synopsis:	Kukai encounters Utau atop Clover Tower. They talk about sparks and pity and isolation and the time for second chances.
Cast of Characters:	Kukai Souma, Utau Hoshina

---

Kukai Souma has posed:
It's a warm, clear night, which means the view from Clover Tower is beautiful. Lots of people are going back and forth through it, but up at the top the whipping spring wind is still chilly enough to prevent most people from going up.

Which is the way Kukai likes it right now. He'd walked up instead of flying up as Sky Jack, and for now was just looking out over the city, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. His head had been hard to get out of lately.

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    Utau has spent a good deal of time up on the tower, mostly because she has finally found a quiet spot to be with herself and her thoughts. Plus, the view up here was amazing. Peering down at the people below, Utau has managed to ditch her annoying bodyguards, at least momentarily so that she's alone; Just her and Iru, leaning over the edge, peering below.

    "I miss Eru-chan..." Sighs Iru, swinging her legs on the edge of the railing. Utau just nods and sighs. ~And I mis...'Him'..~ though she doesnt voice her thoughts aloud of course. The last few days had been productive. She'd managed to steal a few eggs of fans who wished to be singers last night on this tower, shortly after letting the weird vampire girl feed off of her.

    But it had left her pretty drained, mentally, emotionally, physically. Which is probably why she doesnt even notice anyone else hanging around the tower, not even Kukai.

Kukai Souma has posed:
So of course, with both Utau and Kukai not paying attention, it's Eru who notices her. She flies out of Kukai's pocket, grabs his ear, and tugs. "Come on! Over here!"

Kukai ows and follows the little angel over towards.. whatever she's leading him towards.

And it ends up being Utau, of course. For a moment he thinks about not talking to her, before Eru flies over to her, hugging at her neck again! "Utau-chan!" So, Kukai walks up towards her. "...Hey Utau."

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    "I dunno, Iru..It's so confusing, I just.." then he just comes up. along with Eru. She frowns, putting up her guard again. "Eru. Kukai..what are you doing here?" she pulls her coat tightly around her shoulders, trying to hide the three X-eggs she recently acquired, though there's a bulge in her pockets.

    She'd tell him she didnt want to see him or her again, but there's a part of her who does..

Kukai Souma has posed:
Kukai Souma shrugs at the simple question. "Just trying to think, I guess. You stay at home long enough with things going crazy around you and the house ends up falling around your ears." He doesn't approach her, knowing how she feels about him right now. That's part of the craziness he's talking about. "It's good to see you again. I'm glad you're ok." The words seem lame, but Kukai is speaking simply, and from the heart. He is glad she's all right.

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    For a moment, she seems to ignore Eru, but Iru clearly missed her as she dashes towards her, and...Kicks her. "Eru, you bad girl! Why'd you ditch us like that!?" Eru just cries, flying around Utau's head as Iru chases after her. It's hard to tell if they're making up or arguing. As usual. Is Utau's heart as confused and messed up as her charas'? Probably..

    She remains silent for an awkward moment, not even looking at him as she stares up at the stars in the sky. It's been a long night for her, and she could really use a rest. But she's not too fond of fighting Kukai to keep these X-eggs either and doesn't want to chance him seeing them.

    Finally, Utau glances sidelong at him, a soft frown on her features. She never smiled much, less so since things happened. "I've been...Busy, as I'm sure you have." she just shrugs at his comment, not sure what to say.

    "You're pretty brave, coming back here after last time. I mean, I nearly stabbed you through the heart." Nearly. But she stopped at the last moment. Did that even count? Was she even apologetic? Maybe not..It's all confusing and she doesn't even know where to start.

Kukai Souma has posed:
Daichi flies up and tries to get in between Eru and Iru. "Hey, hey, stop that! You two shouldn't fight like this!" He ends up catching a kick from Iru as well and glares at her, rubbing his leg.

Kukai looks up at the sky as well, leaning on the railing near her. He's not yet really looked at her, or sensed the X-Eggs - or if he has, he's not mentioned them. He looks down, then shrugs. "Sort of. Long periods of boredom and several short periods of anger and terror. And that's not even counting the fights."

He shrugs. "I.. dunno. I never really felt afraid of you, and I always thought, y'know, if you did hurt me, maybe I deserved it in some way." He looks over the city. "I've been thinking about things a lot, though, if you're interested in hearing about it. I'm not done with it but I think I realized something."

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    Iru is angry for sure, and she sticks her tongue out at Daichi after she's done kicking him. "Meh! Eru-chan needs to be taught a lesson! She hurt Utau-chan too! She's gone love crazy!!"

    Eru for the most part just sorta whimpers, eyes widenned as she tries to sort through her own feelings. It's true, she has encouraged a lot of love lately. Had she gone overboard..?

    Utau sighs, shaking her head slowly. It would be pointless to tell him how she'd started focusing more on stealing X-eggs, like the four she carries now, mostly because it took her mind off of the pain she now felt in her heart.

    A cool wind ruffles through her long ponytails and she wraps her coat more tightly around her shoulders once more. Even so, he might just catch a glimpse of the X-eggs in her inside pockets.

    "Yeah, you would have deserved it. I was hurt. Really hurt. I believed in you, and..." she bites her lip, feeling her face redden again, "I always liked you..More than I could admit. More than that, I trusted you, believed in you, because you were different from the others. Maybe that's why it hurt so much, knowing I wasn't really that special to you.

    There were so many other things Utau wanted to say, but she couldn't find the words. And afterall, being locked up in a dungeon of sorts for most of her life, the young singer wasn't really good at dealing with such confusing feelings. Instead she just shrugs at what he says.

     "Fine. Let's hear it. I suppose I couldn't hurt worse than I already do, anyways." Well, hopefully not.

Kukai Souma has posed:
Daichi blinks, looking back over at Eru for a moment, then back at Iru. "Can you have too much love? I didn't know..." He goes over to Eru to pat her back.

Kukai looks over at her for a moment, and can't help catching a glimpse of little dark purple ovals in her pockets. His hands grip tightly on the railing for a moment, but he can't bring himself to condemn her for it. It's what she knows. It's what's helping her right now. And he's doesn't have the heart to yell at her anyway.

"I know. I didn't mean to hurt you. I ... " He scratches the back of his head, leaning onto the railing. "I didn't know I was hurting you so much." He stands up. "No. Wait. Right there, that's the thing. You are special. It's just..." He goes quiet for a minute, ordering his thoughts. "I haven't ever loved anybody. I mean, like... romance. Maybe Sion, this girl I know, but neither of us have ever said anything. And then..." He takes a long breath, then continues. "And then Amu kissed me and I didn't feel anything. It was great, it was fun, but... nothing. Here, you know?" He taps his chest. "She's always been tied up in Ikuto and Tadase and I never thought about it. And then later, I'm talking to Nagi, and ended up kissing him, and... "

He pauses, thinking. "There's this feeling. Like flying and dancing in the clouds with a lightning storm gathering. Like having the entire crowd cheering at you for a winning goal. It's amazing. And I'd never felt it before. And it's amazing." He can't help smiling, thinking, but then his face falls. "I want it back. Daichi and I both want it back."

He lets out a little sigh and continues. "So, when you yelled at me, and Na-chan stopped talking to me, I guess because of that stupid, stupid text... I dunno. I've been crazy." He looks at the blonde idol. "I don't know if you and I had the spark, but I know that I want to help you break Easter's control over you and I want... I want to see where that spark leads, wherever it leads."

He rubs his temples with one hand, wincing, feeling a headache coming on. "It's so weird. I don't even know what half of what I'm saying means. I just.. I know how I feel. I haven't changed how I feel about you, though, even if you do decide to stick me with that trident. And I won't."

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    She shakes her head slowly, gripping the railing tightly as he speaks about some other girl he may love. And then kissing Amu, and after that, Nagihiko. She can feel the anger rising again, wanting to smash him into the pavement, and not caring as long as the damage isnt too permanent.

    It takes Utau a long moment to even look at him again without losing her temper, and heck, she's got a pretty damn short temper as it is. "Then. You need to figure out whoit is you REALLY want, and before you get in too deep with someone, make sure that your feelings are clear and true for that person, before getting others involved."

    Finally, she turns to look straight at him and her gaze seems to have become cold again, like it was before he had befriended her. But there's still a crack there, a shard of sadness peeking through. She's experienced the closest she ever could to 'love', and it stung. a lot. "To be honest, I've never had friends, never known what it was like to have someone care about me before. I've always been..Alone, isolated in that prison. But I never wanted pity, only understanding.."

    A cold wind ruffles her coat again, and she doesn't even make an effort to hide the X-eggs anymore. Nor does she move from her spot, not making distance between them but not feeling comfortable enough to come any nearer to him. "I always put up this shield around me because I've experienced pain and loneliness and abandonment before, and I hated how weak it made me feel. I can't get rid of these feelings I have for you, Kukai, even if I wanted to. And it made me believe there's some hope for me outside of Easter but.."

    She closes her eyes, looking away again, fighting back the tears before they have a chance to fall. "I will bury them, if I have to. And I'll stay with Easter, if it's the only way I can deal with the pain. Because at least I have a future, and I have my music there." Finally, she pulls out the X-eggs, holding them out in her hand, staring at them thoughtfully as if she was unsure what to do with them "Like I said, I've been busy lately, because it's the only purpose I seem to serve.."

Kukai Souma has posed:
Kukai Souma nods, at least, agreeing with her words as she says them. "I do want to know what I really want. I gotta figure it out somehow. I mean.. I want to play sports. I've always wanted to play sports. I want to protect people. I want to be a star. But as for anything else? I don't know. And I'm trying to find it out."

He looks back at her, and as mad as she gets, he can still see that sadness peeking through. More than anything he wants to find a way to remove it, to see her happy and with no sadness. "I do care about you. Maybe more than anybody else I know, because I understand how much you've been hurt." He lets out a breath. "But yeah. If we're being truthful, I do pity you. I think about all the time you could've had if you weren't being controlled and directed and used - if you were controlling yourself, doing what you wanted - and it breaks my heart."

He frowns, eyes flicking to the X-Eggs, seeing the dreams they represent, but not reacting just yet. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I made you feel alone again. But I'm not gonna abandon you. I still think you're worth fighting for. And there's everything outside Easter. I believe that with all my heart and soul." He brings up one clenched fist in front of his heart as he talks, trying to express the feelings he has. "But I don't know how to get through to you."

Those same tears are in his eyes too. "No one should ever have to bury their heart or their emotions. That's the biggest wrong they've done to you, that you feel like you have to hide yourself just to live." He can't resist it, glaring at the X-Eggs as she pulls them out. "And that's the second biggest wrong they've done, that they've made you take part in their evil plans and made you think that's the only good part of you. It's not, Utau. It's so not." He finally turns away. "I can't look at those anymore."

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    She sees the pain in his eyes, knowing he hates it when she does terrible things for Easter, and somehow it hurts her. Could she really remain with them, protecting her own broken heart, when it meant hurting innocents, hurting him? Utau just sighs, shaking her head. "I dont know, Kukai, I cant even think right now. As long as Ikuto is their prisoner. Seeing him hurt and weak, in so much pain..Maybe someday, when he's free, when I have no reason to be loyal to Easter, it'd be easier just to turn my back on them, but..."

    Then there's the pity and it makes her angry again. She grits her teeth, amethyst eyes flaring with annoyance. "Dont ever pity me, because pity is for the weak. Just help me to free Ikuto. And maybe then, once he's free...Things wont be so difficult." She'd been plotting with Mikoto on how to free Ikuto, but Utau never really thought about herself, if there was even any hope for her.

    A part of her would want to run away with Kukai, but that might never be possible, not as long as he has feelings for someone else. And knowing that Easter is her fast ticket to fame and fortune? But would she really be okay with hurting people..?

    And even now, Utau knows he hates this, seeing her do these terrible things. But he's not even gonna fight her for them? Drawing a deep breath, she moves to stand in front of him, holding out her hands, offering up the X-eggs. "Take them. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't fight you right now. But even if I could I wouldn't, because maybe you wouldn't hate me so much. So give them back to their rightful owners. And if you really want to help me, then free Ikuto."

Kukai Souma has posed:
Kukai Souma nods, thinking about his own brothers, how if their position were changed and it was one of his brothers, sick and in pain, and he was the only one taking care of them, who knows what he'd do? "Yeah. Thinking right now is hard." He hears the anger in her voice, then nods. "Ok. I'm trying to help you. We're all trying to help you. We'll find a way. And I want to get to that point."

Kukai watches her amethyst eyes flicker and wishes he could read her thoughts. If things were different, and they left everything, could they really be happy with just each other? There's no way to know. She sighs, reaching into her jacket, and holds out the X-Eggs to him. And... he reaches up, taking her hands, squeezing them, and takes two of the four. "I don't hate you Utau. I've never hated you. I hate what you have to do to survive but I recently met someone else who's having to hurt people to live and I don't hate her either. I hate the powers that make innocent people do these things."

He closes his eyes, coming to terms with what he's about to say. "But I know they make you suffer if you can't make them happy, and they make Ikuto suffer. So you need to take those two and keep them. At some point later I will take them back from Easter." He sticks the first two in his pockets. "And I promise. I will help you free Ikuto. Either we'll come up with a plan from outside, or if you need me, you call me, and I will be there." He aches to reach back up and hold her hands, comfort her, make her understand that it'll be ok, that she's not alone, there are so many people who are in her corner.

Instead, her gives her a wan smile. "I guess... this is bye for now?"

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    Utau bites her lip, staring at her hands, staring at his. Not wanting to let go. But her heart still hurts. And she knows that if she stayed willingly with Easter, if he abandonned her to that other person and she felt she had nothing else to believe in, he would definitely hate her then, but by then maybe it wouldn't matter anymore.

    "There is a girl I met..Nori-chan..She was so young, so afraid, but she was cursed to drain the life energy from people just to survive. Not all of us have a choice as to what our destiny will be. All we can do is keep on fighting and hope for a better future."

    He takes the eggs, and she reaches for his hands, holding onto them a little longer, probably longer than she should. Utau still yearned for that kiss, but she could not, would not accept such a precious thing unless it was given with all his heart, and meant for her alone. "If...If I have to compete with him for you, you know I'm not gonna give up that easily. If it means getting to know you better, then I wont shy away from that either. Even if we're on opposite sides, I still deserve a fighting chance."

    Finally she looks back at him, a strange..Yearning in her eyes. "So, I'm not gonna say bye, but 'til next time..' And, I'm not gonna lose you without a fight, either!"

Kukai Souma has posed:
Kukai Souma grins faintly. "Yeah. I met Norie too. My heart goes out to her every time I see her." He nods. "That hope is all some people have. It's enough to live on."

He finally lowers his hands, then nods at her words. "I... Yeah. And I'm gonna try to learn more about what I'm doing. You deserve a fighting chance, especially because we're on opposite sides."

He grins again, this time, the full Jack's smile, that confident, self-assured grin he wears. "OK then. Until next time." He nods at Daichi, who's still in between her two Charas, keeping Iru from hurting Eru and keeping Eru from insulting Iru. "OK Daichi. Say bye to Iru and Eru." He looks back at Utau. "You should have her back for now. She's your hope and light and.." The unspoken word hangs in the air. Daichi hugs both of them and smiles at the two of them, joining Kukai's shoulder.

Kukai looks at her, then waves and turns, heading back towards the staircase, the two X-Eggs in his pockets.

Utau Hoshina has posed:
    She finds two remaining X-eggs left in her hands, and she frowns softly, knowing he's just trying to protect her. "Thank you. Kukai..Take care. I know we'll meet again soon, right?" there's a hopeful glimmer in her eye as she too turns away, moving in the opposite direction.

    "Eru. Iru. Come. It's time to go." She barks at the charas, knowing full well that Eru will have trouble separating from Daichi and Kukai. There's a reason she stayed with them for so long, and it wasnt merely to keep an eye on them. A part of Utau's gonna miss him even more without her chara to watch over him. But maybe it's better this way. Somehow, she's sure things will work out the way they're meant to.

    Eru sniffles a bit, hugging Daichi tightly, before Iru drags her away. "C'mon! It's been too long! We have too much to catch up on..Utau, wait for me!" and the two fairies trail after their owner, Eru glancing over her shoulder just long enough to blow at kiss at Daichi before they leave.