1700/A laundry list of mistakes

A laundry list of mistakes
Date of Scene:	05 July 2016
Location:	The Mizuno Household
Synopsis:	Ami and Makoto talk privately for the first time since Makoto got free from Takashi's captivity. Ami realizes all too late just how important the 'best' in 'best friends' really is to her.
Cast of Characters:	Ami Mizuno, Makoto Kino

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Ami Mizuno has posed:
Access to Ami's home is easy. For people like Makoto it's as simple as pushing a button and they are quickly ushered in with the utmost of respect and urgency, treated like minor ladies in a minor castle. The opulence of the place is just a tiny bit ridiculous.

Inside, Ami has the house to herself. This isn't by any means an abnormal state; her mother works all too much, and so Ami frequently has the whole apartment to herself. She's ditched her school clothes, for the day; replacing them instead with a collared blue shirt and overall shorts, white socks on her feet folded once at the ankle, and her reading glasses.

When the doorbell rings, Ami calls, "Coming!" She has to put down the small halberd-charm bracelet she's looking at with the Mercury computer's scanners, and rush towards the door. Her feet slide on the hardwood as she reaches the handle, then pulls it open and flings herself through.

Hopefully it's Makoto, because whoever's out there is getting a hug. Catch!

Makoto Kino has posed:
"Oof!" is thus the first thing out of Makoto's mouth when Ami greets her with that flying hug - although it must be noted that she barely moves from the impact, only rocking back a little to cushion Ami's landing. She's smiling as she looks down and hugs her friend back. "Nice to see you, too, but I didn't think it had been that long."

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami dangles from Makoto's neck for a moment, then grins and lets herself fall back to her feet. "I know," she says, "but it's the first time it's just been the two of us since ..." she trails off, "and I just really really wanted you to know how much I am glad you're okay."

Ami steps back out of the way and beckons Makoto inside. "Come in, come in. I put the teakettle on since I know you prefer tea to coke, but I don't have any cookies. Just some candies that Usagi-chan left last time she was here. But you're still welcome to anything in the kitchen."

Makoto Kino has posed:
"I know," Makoto says, still smiling warmly, before she lets Ami settle back onto her feet. "Thanks, Ami-chan."

She dutifully heads into the apartment when Ami waves her in, absently glancing around the airy space with its impressive view and taking in any changes since the last time she was here. "It's fine," she assures regarding the lack of cookies. "How have you been doing? Better since the xenians are gone, I hope." A beat, and then Mako ducks her head and laughs a little sheepishly as though at a private joke. "I should warn you, I'm thinking of getting some stargazer lily bulbs to grow until I can stop flinching at the sight of pink flowers. If I do, try not to flash-freeze it on reflex, okay?"

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami's twitch is small, but definitely there. "Ugh, don't tell Usagi I said so, but if I never see a pink flower again it may be too soon." She heads to the little kitchenette and begins pulling down mugs and instant tea bags. These get put together, just as the kettle starts to whistle.

"I've been doing okay," Ami says, though with some hesitance in her tone as she pours the water into the mugs. "I'm still stressed. Hotori-heika has got me on a new project for Virtue which is very exciting, but I'm worried I'm going to screw it up. I feel like I've been screwing everything up, lately. It's not exactly a feeling I'm used to coping with. But I'm managing, somehow, to not fall entirely to pieces."

Makoto Kino has posed:
That little twitch doesn't escape Makoto's notice, and she makes an apologetic face. "Haha, sorry. I just don't want to let those horrible things ruin something nice for me, if I can help it."

Following Ami to the kitchen area, she clasps her hands idly behind the back of her neck, listening to what Ami says. "I think you're harder on yourself than anyone else would be," she observes gently. "But if there's anything I can do to help take some of the load off, you shouldn't hesitate to ask me. Please?"

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami smirks and offers a mug to Makoto, "Wanna help wire up a bunch of high-security servers, programming their security, and then overseeing data indexing, search, and retrieval functions, along with regular backups to Eternity MAIN?" Ami asks Makoto curiously. She already knows the answer, but since Makoto asked, she'll at least offer!

"And all this on top of the projects I've already got," Ami says with a soft sigh as she returns to the reality of the situation. "Usagi-chan wants to go back to the moon. Naru wants to be more involved, but keeps turning down the device I've got, I want to study the device more in depth but I can't really do so without someone willing to take it on as a temporary magical powerset--which Naru would be perfect for, mind you--and then there's my asshole boyfriend." Not ex.

Makoto Kino has posed:
Predictably enough, Makoto's eyes widen in something not far different from dismay when Ami explains exactly what her new project is and what helping with it would involve. "...uh," she says, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck for a moment. "I would, but somehow I think with that stuff, I'd just be in your way." There's more than a little chagrin in the words. If Ami needed a couple dozen cookies baked, Mako could take care of it in no time. Servers and programming and indexing functions are a different story.

"Still..." Mako hesitates, brow creasing faintly in concern. "I know a lot of this is stuff most of us can't do, but I don't like seeing you trying to take it all on by yourself."

She might have said more, but at the phrase 'asshole boyfriend,' Makoto's mouth tightens into a grim frown. "Yeah," she begins heavily, "about that..."

Then she stops, and suddenly Makoto is standing very still.

"...What do you mean, 'boyfriend'?"

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami gently places the mug in Makoto's hands, though the wry expression on her face probably answers most of the taller girl's quesetions. She sighs quietly, then tries to figure out how to explain, "I hate him for what he did to you. I'm furious with him. And I'm angry with him for trying to manipulate me, too. But when I compare him to what Kunzite and Nephrite did ... I can't ..." she trails off, then lowers her eyes.

"I can't keep faulting him, and expecting him to change," Ami explains quietly, "if I'm not willing to actually put in the effort to change him. And I can't just force that change on him, either. It's not fair to take away his agency in all of this. I have to convince him that my way is the right way. I have to prove it to him. And I can't do that if he htinks I've betrayed him. And I can't convince him if I don't understand him."

"And I can't understand him," Ami says quietly, "if I don't take the time to learn about him. So ... so ... I promised to let him show me his point of view, but only if in exchange he would allow me ethical oversight over his projects. And so ... we still have to talk to define what all of that means. But ... if I can keep him from hurting people like he hurt you, I want to be with him. And it's not his fault; it's the darkness. I just have to ..." she trails off, then her shoulders slump tremendously. "... I panicked. And now I've probably hurt you, and him, and I'm so ... so sorry."

Makoto Kino has posed:
Makoto's hands curl reflexively around the mug, taking it from Ami without ever actually seeming to recognize it's presence - just the automatic reaction to being handed something. She's staring fixedly at Ami as the smaller girl speaks, green eyes bright and more and more incredulous.

There is a distinctly unpleasant silence for a few seconds after Ami says 'I'm sorry.'

"And that means you have to date him again?" Makoto says at last, voice tight with barely-leashed emotion. "How does that work, Ami-chan? Did he - is he even sorry for anything he did, or how bad it could've been to distract you and the others like that while the alien parasite invasion was about to kill the earth?" She doesn't wait more than a beat before answering her own question, not giving Ami the chance to. "He's not, is he? Just like every other time. He's really sorry you're upset, but it's not his fault, it's all because you don't understand what he's trying to do - right?"

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami looks up at Makoto's face again, then sighs and grabs her own mug, then steers out of the kitchenette and back towards her notes. Stepping over the back of the couch, Ami sets her tea mug on the coffee table. She flops down and hugs herself, then reaches for the bracelet again. "I can't make him see that it's his fault if I don't at least try to prove that I understand his side," Ami tells Makoto. "I don't know. It was probably a mistake to agree to be his girlfriend again, but this whole thing is wrapped up in faith and love versus pragmatism and fatalism."

Ami sighs and slips the braclet onto her wrist, then turns to face Makoto over the back of the couch. "How can he put his faith in Sailor Moon when love keeps failing him?"

Makoto Kino has posed:
Makoto follows only as far as is necessary to keep Ami in her line of sight and within a reasonable conversational distance. Her steps are sharp and jerky with agitated energy, and she stays on her feet, gripping the mug between her hands. "Why should he change anything he's doing if you keep giving him what he wants?" she fires back. "He compared himself to Kunzite and Neph... we all keep comparing them, but when the guys were doing this kind of shit, we fought them, we didn't just--"

She cuts herself off there, breath hissing through her teeth; makes a visible effort to rein in her anger, to dubious success. "The only way that guy is gonna believe you understand his side of things is if you agree that he's right," she states. "Did you even realize? He says he respects you, but every time you're uncomfortable, he tries to argue you down. He says he wants you to be happy, but what he really means is that you should just go along with what he wants. He's like one of those guys who's really sorry he hit you, but you shouldn't have made him do it. And as long as you keep giving in to him, he's gonna keep doing it."

Ami Mizuno has posed:
"You fought them," Ami points out to Makoto gently. "I made the stupid mistake to trust them, nearly died, and Takashi saved my life. Remember?" Ami points out, almost pleading with Makoto to understand. "He hasn't ever hurt me, directly. He's hurt you, and I'm going to make him see why that was so bad, but he hasn't hurt me. He's ... I can't ... I have to save him. I have to save him like we saved Nephrite and saved Kunzite, and we didn't do that by distancing ourselves from them! We did it by trusting them. And yes, it bit me in the ass, and hard. But it worked. It's got to work with Takashi, too."

Makoto Kino has posed:
"You're wrong, Ami-chan." Makoto's stance hasn't changed, but her voice goes suddenly quiet. "I never trusted Nephrite. I took risks, and some of them were pretty stupid, because I wanted to save him. But I never forgot what he could do to me. And I didn't fucking date him while he was still with the Dark Kingdom."

She looks down, breathes out again. This time it doesn't help at all. "You're wrong about something else, too. He might not hit you, but that doesn't mean he hasn't hurt you. He does it every time he tries to convince you that your feelings are wrong. Every time he makes you feel like you have to be responsible for his asshole decisions. Every time he convinces you to give in because you're afraid if you don't it'll push him farther into the dark. If you keep on letting him, you're not going to save him - you're just going to lose yourself. And I'm not going to just stand by and watch it happen."

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami rubs at her face and then drops her head on the back of the couch. By now her tea is probably oversteeped. Makoto's probably is, too. That may not be noticed by either. "I don't know what to do," Ami says, voice muffled by the cushions of her couchback. "Getting ethical control over his laboratory is important. If I don't do that, he's going to hurt someone else. It's not like with Kunzite; we can't just go beat up his boss to free Takashi. We have to show him that he's wrong. I don't know any other way."

Makoto Kino has posed:
"Get ethical control over his lab, if you think he'll really let you," Makoto says flatly, looking back up at Ami with eyes as sharp as green glass. "I don't see what being his girlfriend has to do with it. But you already had my opinion on that before.

"While you're at it," she adds after a breath, "you should know - that copy he made of me wasn't just some one-off thing he came up with for whatever the hell he thought he was going to find out from that. He had a whole room full of them at his lab. Maybe you should ask him what he was planning to use them for... if you think he'll tell you the truth, and not just spin it into something he thinks you'll accept."

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami raises her chin sharply at that and stares at Makoto. She searches her friend's face for a moment, then grimaces and looks away. "There is really no good explanation for that, is there?" she asks Makoto quietly. A faint sigh, then she asks, "What'd you do to them?" she asks, worriedly. "Did you destroy them?" A sickening thought crosses Ami's mind--and face--but she doesn't voice it. Better not to undermine her friend's confidence on this matter.

"You did date Nephrite, though," Ami points out. "You went to that meeting with him, and wore the communicator until he took you into that private place I couldn't even watch from. It was a date," she says, "whether you called it that, I think he thought of it that way. I don't know. I'll stop defending that decision to you. It was just a stupid panicked decision, anyways. I'll ... figure out how to deal with it when we work out the details of my oversight."

AMy reaches up to clutch her head, "Whyyyy am I responsible for the ethical oversight of a boy my own age, when I'm not even old enough to vote?!" Ami asks. "Why can't the government control magical experimentation? Augh, I hate the secrecy of it all," she says frustratedly.

Then, she really does need to ask, "He said he took you into the Dusk Zone. What was it like?"

Makoto Kino has posed:
Makoto shakes her head sharply at Ami's assertions regarding Nephrite and her own handling of that situation. "It's not the same thing," she says, "and you know it. Whatever he thought, I didn't promise him anything. I went there to talk to him about the Dark Kingdom. I gave him Valentine's chocolates because I was hoping the energy from Mamoru-niisan's rose might help break through the brainwashing. And I didn't try to sweet-talk him into agreeing to that beforehand, either."

Another shake of her head flicks her ponytail behind her. "Whatever. You know how I feel about it already, there's no point in arguing about it any more."

She's quiet then for a little while, after Ami asks about the Dusk Zone. More subdued, suddenly. It takes her a short space to come up with a description. "Dark," she says at last. "Big. Creepy as hell. Full of big scary things, and Agera's got himself convinced that he's the only person in the world who can do anything about them, because the rest of us are all too stupid to understand his perfect genius. He sounded like every wannabe visionary supervillain in every bad shounen manga I ever read." Her mouth curls. "I don't know a lot about dark energy, but I know you don't stop things that live in it by doing the same things they do."

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami listens astutely, then nods her head at Makoto's definition. "That's about what I thought it would be like," she says quietly. "Did he protect you while you were there? Or did you have to defend yourself? He ..." she trails off, "Part of the deal is for me to go there and see it myself," Ami explains to Makoto. "He thinks I of all people will understand if I see it, and I am hoping I will understand well enough to be able to prove to him why he's wrong. But I'm terrified of it. A year ago I thought magic was a stupid fairy tail, and now I'm having to become an expert on the topic while still attending middle school."

Makoto Kino has posed:
A snort of breath escapes Makoto at Ami's question. "If you wanna call being covered in dark energy glop that wouldn't let me move 'protected'," she says with a scowl. "It's not the Dusk Zone you should be scared of. The things out there are bad, but we'll find ways to stop them if we have to. Just..." She falters, looks down into the untasted cup of tea. "Just be careful."

Turning away, she takes the cup to the sink. Fishes the teabag out to go in the proper bin, pours the cold tea down the drain. She takes a little while to rinse the cup out, sets it aside to dry.

Then she turns back towards Ami. "Do what you think you have to do, Ami-chan," Makoto says, looking suddenly tired. "But I'll tell you this: I'm not accepting any more fake 'I-still-think-I'm-right' apologies from Takashi Agera. I'll forgive him when he's actually sorry, not before. I'm done making excuses for him, too. He makes way too many for himself to need my help with that. Or yours."

After saying this, she starts toward the door. "I have to go. I... I'll see you at school."

Ami Mizuno has posed:
Ami straightens up to her knees, gripping the back of the couch with white-knuckled fingers, when Makoto turns towards the kitchen. She watches her friend, listening to every word she says, and slowly loses realizes just how much control of this situation she's lost. Not that she ever really believed she had any, but this is the furthest possible from the results she might have hoped for.

"Mako-chan," she says, and the words are probably drowned out by the sound of running water. Still, her voice hopeful and apologetic, but without really knowing theright words to say, here. She watches as Makoto starts towards the door, and lets out a single, small noise of hurt. "I'm sorry," she promises, quietly. "For whatever it's worth, I don't think I'm right. I just don't know what else to do, anymore."

Makoto Kino has posed:
It's enough to prompt Makoto to look back, pausing in the act of stepping back into her shoes. At least when she does, there's nothing on her face that rejects Ami's apology. Her eyes as they find Ami's are troubled and sad.

"I know," she says, just as quietly. "I'm sorry, too."

Then she turns back to the door again. "I'll see you soon."

She pulls the door gently closed behind her as she leaves.