1884/Definitions of Self

Definitions of Self
Date of Scene:	29 August 2016
Location:	Earth Court Frat House
Synopsis:	Kyouko seeks out Naru for help with an artistic project. The two discuss what it means to believe in yourself and others.
Cast of Characters:	Kyouko Sakura, Naru Osaka

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Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    It's relatively early in the day, before lunch. At this time of day, Mamoru's penthouse complex is usually fairly empty- the lazier inhabitants are probably still asleep, while those with actual errands or things to do are generally out and doing them. Kyouko knows, however, that Naru has been working on murals in the renovated part of the apartment, and so she chooses this time of day to attempt to corner the girl without interruption.

    She has work, but not until later in the day, so she's in casual clothes as she pushes open the door to the still work-in-progress set of rooms. Closing it again behind her, the redhead peers about. "Naru-chan? You in here?"

Naru Osaka has posed:
There is, in fact, a Naru in that silent apartment that no one currently lives in. Not yet. The renovations are going well, with things looking like they aren't about to fall over on anyone, and are just nicely at the stage of needing the pretty added.

Headphones in, Naru is bopping to .. something happy as she dangles off the top of a ladder to continue drawing on the walls. There's pencil on all the walls, a good three quarters sketched in and planned out, covering the walls. Hard to really get a sense of it, but there's a waterfall for certain, and that's what Naru's drawing currently, from the ceiling down the wall.

Clearly, she hasn't heard Kyouko.

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Kyouko takes a moment, unnoticed, to examine the sketch. Art, or at least this sort of art, is really not her thing. That's not to say she can't appreciate it though, and she imagines it'll look even better all colored and painted-in. In fact that appreciation of Naru's talent is partly what drew her here today. After a moment, she approaches the girl.

    Kyouko does her best to enter line-of-sight while still a few yards away. She doesn't want Naru to startle and fall off the ladder- plus, she doesn't like it when people sneak up on her so she's willing to extend the same courtesy to others. Trying to catch Naru's eye, she offers her trademark lopsided grin and a wave.

Naru Osaka has posed:
Its hard to tell what the area closest to the balcony on either side is really going to be. There's mostly just general sweeps of lines, and some spots. The waterfall really is looking good, but as if the resolution hasn't quite come into focus yet. Clearly paint and colour will make a huge difference.

Just a touch of a startle as Naru catches the movement, but there's a bright smile and a wave as she pops the headphones out. "Hey Kyouko! What's up?"

Distraction gives her a chance to stretch and move, curling around to hop down from the ladder, far better than falling.

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Once Naru has removed the earphones, Kyouko greets her properly. "Morning, Naru-chan. S'lookin' real good in here." She makes another show of glancing around at the sketches. "I bet it'll be pretty impressive once it's all colored in, and stuff."

    She hesitates a moment, casting a side-eye glance at the other girl, before saying, "That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Your art and stuff, I mean." She pauses for another moment, and just the faintest tinge of color comes to her cheeks as she glances away again. "I was wonderin' if I could get you to sketch somethin' for me. Doesn't need to be fancy, just an idea so I can show it to somebody else and give 'em a clue as to what I'm thinkin' about."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"Thanks. I'm hoping it hits 'cool' and not 'hokey' once its done, but at least its paint. I can always paint over it if it sucks." Naru comments with a twist of a half smile.

"Ooh! Sure!" Naru heads over to where her bag is leaning against a garbage bin, because renos. "What are we sketching? Coloured or just pencil alright? Orange is still a pain in the arse. I can only kinda get it and my orange pencils are fubarred. I had to mix it and .." Naru trails off and shakes her head as she crouches to go digging in her bag.

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    "I'm sure it'll be cool." Kyouko says, her tone reassuring, but she means it. She stays where she is as she watches Naru cross the room to her bag, holding up a hand. "I mean, you don't need to do it right now, if you're busy.." She protests, but she makes no move to stop the other girl, either.

    When asked what, exactly, she wants sketched, the color in her cheeks increases just a little bit, and she glances away again, as if it's easier for her to speak if she pretends there's nobody else in the room. "Ah, well.. y'see, Mamoru recently kinda.. hired me? That's a silly way of putting it, it's more than that, but.. I was thinking it might be nice if I changed my outfit.. y'know, my magical outfit, to be more in line with his other guys now that it's all official, and stuff. But I don't wanna just do it.. they've been wearing that a lot longer and I don't wanna be.. presumptuous? So I was wondering if I could get you to sketch it out so I could show it to Mamoru first."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"A break from dangling off a ladder sounds /awesome/." Naru points out as she emerges with a sketchbook and tin of pencils and settles on a convenient patch of floor. Because renos.

A quirk of Naru's head as she flips through her book while listening, noting that touch of colour and the lack of looking at her and responding by making herself 'busy' with finding a clean page. "Ooh, that sounds pretty cool. Can you like.. pick? When you're with the guys, to look all coordinating, but when you're just you, your current one? Or does it not work that way?"

Naru goes digging into her pencil box to choose The Pencil. Her favourite. The one that survived the day with Namakelder and Fiore both. "Please tell me you still want a skirt, right?"

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    "Well, the way I unnerstand it," Kyouko says, turning her head back to watch Naru settle herself with the pencil and sketchpad on the floor, "It's all about how your see yourself. I didn't.. pick my current outfit, so to speak, it just sorta ended up that way, but I can change it.. sometimes it changes itself. It's not as straightforward as just thinking about it, but it sorta.. conforms to your mental image of yourself, if that makes sense."

    She crosses over to stand closer, arms crossing over her chest. "Umm.. there can be a skirt. Y'know I was thinkin' similar to what I have now, just with the sorta pattern on the front that all the guys have.. y'know. And maybe a cape." Blush.

Naru Osaka has posed:
"Clearly how you see yourself currently is with a pretty killer sense of style." Naru comments as she starts to sketch. A basic Kyouko shape first, standing neutrally. "Boots, stockings, skirt are kinda a given, cause it fits you, and fits the guys' boots and trousers. The biggest difference is the fact that you're super colourful, and they're super not. You also have a ton of stuff that flutters, and they don't, like your jacket's layers."

Naru is still fainting humming whatever pop song she had been listening to as she gets the bottom half sketched out.

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Kyouko grins a little bit at Naru's compliment, and perhaps surprisingly, blushes less at that than she did when talking about wanting to fit in with the Shitennou. "Yeah, well, self-confidence has never been one of my weak-points. Whether or not it's actually justified though.. well that's another story." A faintly self-deprecating laugh.

    She peers over Naru's shoulder as she works on sketching. "Yeah.. I dun know if you need to color it yet, I'm not sure about that. I mean, obviously some combination of red and white is gonna be the thing. That I don't really have a lot of control over. Red is the color of my soul, apparently." She taps the Soul Gem ring on her middle finger, the little red gem twinkling. "It's more the basic design I wanted to have a visual of.."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"The guys are all muted colours and pale." Naru starts noodling around with sketching out that classic jacket off to the side, all angles and boxy and entirely not well suited to the female form, nor Kyouko's usual style. "And Nephrite's red so we have to do something different, more than the skirt. Well, or not, really. You're still red, even if he is too." She hunhs softly and tries sketching the shitennou jacket with a skirt and considers it and shakes her head. "I kinda.. that is so not you." She mmms softly and then starts erasing and shifting bits. Same collar, more fitted through the body but with that great train of overskirt that Kyouko has in her own outfit currently. "Thoughts?"

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    "Neph-nii is red, but not really the same sort of red?" Kyouko muses absently, picturing things in her head as she peers out the nearest window at the morning sky, considering. "It's a lot more.. wine-colored than mine, which is more appley."

    She glances back down at the page. "I was thinking something more like.. what I have now, in shape, but with the chest-motif that they all have? Like.. hold on."

    Kyouko henshins in a blinding flash of red light, and is left standing there in her current, well-known Puella outfit. She twists, making the ruffled coat-tail swirl. "But maybe less ruffles? I dunno."

Naru Osaka has posed:
I've only seen his once I was in no shape at all to start considering different shades of red." Naru chuckles softly, shaking her head. "So I'll take your word for it, but that makes it easy enough if you're a good bright scarlet red and he's more claret."

Naru looks at the current, and while she smiles, there's a thoughtful pause. "Seriously, I just covet the tail coat, but so do not have the panache to pull it off."

New page and Naru goes back to sketching. Skirt and boots, simple enough. Shape from the current, tail coat included. Sleeves. A lack of ruffles. No colour yet, but the details from the shitennou jackets more than from Kyouko's usual. "Is that closer?"

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    "Well like I said, I ain't worried about color just yet.. that'll sort itself out, I think." Kyouko comments, as she then grins at the mention of the tail coat. She swishes it again, just 'cause she can. "It flutters quite nicely when you jump between buildings." She says, in a revelation that Naru cannot possibly commiserate with.

    Then she watches as Naru sketches again, eyes following the pencil.. and to this, she nods. "Yeah.. I think that's pretty close to what I was thinkin'." She says, as she drops her henshin again, the outfit exploding away in a flutter of red sparkles before she sits down on the floor next to Naru.

Naru Osaka has posed:
"Y'know, I didn't think I had any issues with heights, and I don't really. Rooftops? Those are /fine/. Even this building, no problem. But Endy took me pokemon hunting and we were jumping between buildings and I have /no clue/ how you folks do it. I couldn't look." Naru shakes her head with a soft whistle. "I mean, probably different when you know you're fine, but me? Not my natural environment, even a little."

"You're gonna look sharp. And fierce." Naru holds the sketchbook out as it gets to something that makes Kyouko nod and she smiles.

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    "Well, I can't say I know how it feels because I never got to try it before I could do it myself." Kyouko comments, sounding vaugely amused, "But it does pretty much make it lose its scariness when you know you won't fall, anyway." Not that it's impossible for someone like her to fell- just that the fall wouldn't actually hurt them, as long as they were aware they were falling.

    Now Kyouko does blush again, just a little, as Naru holds out the sketchbook and compliments her intended design. She looks down, but can't keep a little smile off of her face. "Aw.. I'm glad you think so. An' I hope it's true. I just hope Mamoru and the guys don't think I'm.. overstepping."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"Well." Naru pauses to consider that. "Mamoru thinks enough of you to ask you to be part of his court. I don't think it's overstepping, I think its more showing pride in being part of them. He could have just gone with the status quo, but he made it official. This strikes me as showing you're not ashamed to be counted amoungst them. I expect if he could give you the uniform in a touching moment that would make any of us watching cry, cause Endy can /do/ that, he would, but the magic doesn't work like that."

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Kyouko blushes some more. It's a rare sight, Naru-chan, so take your mental pictures now, who knows when the next time you'll get to see it is. "Yeah.. I guess. I mean he kinda said the same thing to me, it's just.. y'know, knowing something and believing it are two different things, y'know? And it's not that I don't trust him or anything it's just.. hard to convince myself sometimes. But that's somethin' I need to work on, anyway."

    Then she grins slightly at the latter comments. "Oh, I'm sure he would.. he'd love to embarass the hell out of me. And maybe it could work that way, but honestly I think that he doesn't wanna feel like he's forcing me into anything, either, which is probably why he hasn't."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"I really /really/ get that part of it. Knowing, but still having that little voice going 'really? Are they sure? They can't be sure.'" Naru nods firmly. "Soundtrack of my life, and .. yeah. Its a process. I so very get that."

Naru smiles a touch and nods. "Goes both ways, asking /and/ accepting. It's also a personal thing, between you and him. The rest of us.. especially those of us who are seriously on the edge of things, don't need to be in the way."

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Kyouko gives a slight, lopsided smile to Naru. "Yeah, I think a lotta people have that issue. Just, the kinda life I've had.. it's hard for me to rely on other people. But that's somethin' I've been tryin' to change- at least, to a degree. I always want to be able to take care of myself, accourse."

    She shrugs then, and chucklces softly. "I guess. But you're not in the way, Naru-chan. I wouldn't have asked for your help if I thought you were. It's between me and Mamoru, that's true, but that don't mean I don't value input."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"With even less reason, I feel much the same way." Naru comments with a little shrug. "You have good reason to feel like that, you've had to rely on yourself. I've always had somewhere to sleep, people who would make sure I was fed and know that they loved me. I am grateful to the Tsukinos for that."

"Remember that whole difference between knowing and believing thing?" Naru gestures a touch with her pencil and then there's a touch of a rueful smile. "I'm getting there on the 'not in the way', just generally as well as in senshi or shitennou business. It's something I need to work on." Naru echos Kyouko's words back to her.

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    "Well, maybe. Doesn't mean I view it as a positive thing." Kyouko says, with a faintly rueful tone. "Then again, I can't really imagine myself having a 'normal' life either.. it just.. doesn't jive. I'd be a totally different person so.. dunno how much I'd want to change, even if I could." There are some things, but they remain unsaid.

    She offers Naru a little fangy grin, though. "Ehhh, c'mon, Naru-chan. At least you know enough to call for help and/or run away from the monsters. That makes you considerably less of a liability than your run-of-the-mill civilian."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"It's made you into you, and as we all kinda rather like you, it sucked at the time, but the result's pretty cool." Naru points out with a nod. "It is what it is. I'm not sure I'd change my childhood either, it seems strange to consider."

"I am getting pretty good at dodging and running. Calling for help is still pretty iffy, but now that I've been tagged like a stray cat, I do't get to choose if I call for help or not." Naru points out with a soft chuckle. "So yeah, I'm better than your average muggle, at least some of the time. I remember the attacks and can describe them in detail only Kunzite cares about, which is probably more helpful all in all, although I suspect everyone would be fine if that service ended."

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Kyouko smiles at Naru in response to her comments about people rather liking her. That's another thing she isn't quite used to- despite it being some time now since she was the friendless drifter she had been when she came to Tokyo.

    At the rest, she shrugs. "Most of us, we can't choose the hand we're dealt, right? You got the shitty combination of being aware of and apparently targetted by sueprnatural forces without gettin' the ability to fight back. That sucks, but you ain't the one we should be fed up with, cuz it's not like you chose for it to be that way. An' like I said.. you do better'n most with the hand you're dealt, and that's somethin' I can admire. I always admire a fighter.. it's the sadsack mopey type that I can't abide."

Naru Osaka has posed:
"No. We don't get to choose. You deal with what you've got, in that big picture." Naru nods as she tears out the page that Kyouko finally nodded at, to pass it to the other girl. "I'm fairly fed up with it, but I think some of the really weak ones that find me. I think I can at least give them something they'll remember. Most of what finds me though? I have to call in the big guns, and run for it." She gives a little shrug. "I can't say that I've never had a little pity party, just for me, but that gets tiresome faster than calling in the youma of the day." She pauses, quirking her head. "I'm sort of enjoying seeing where my edges are? Like in running, and /doing/ things that are mostly sort of scary, but some little bit goes 'mebbe it'll work'."

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Kyouko accepts the page, looking it over again and nodding once more before simply drawing it back to hold- she doesn't want to fold it and put a big crease in it. She stands up, stretching for a moment, then looks back dwon at Naru.

    "Naru-chan, I seen a lot of stuff in my life. I ain't that old, speaking as a human bein', but I been a Magical Girl, an active one, for more'n five years now. Believe it for not, that's an eternity in this game- don't know anybody who's been doin' it longer 'cept for Mami and Homura, and Homura cheats, of course."

    "One thing that I've firmly come to believe, based on my experiences in that time, is that nothin' is more powerful than belief. You have to believe you can win, believe you're strong enough, and you will be. People have called me stubborn, unrealistic, blind to reality, but that's not the same at all. In this world, where magic is concerned, what you believe is more often true than what you know. Like we were talkin' about before, right? Knowing and believing."

    "I've pulled shit off that I had no right to, survived things I shouldn't have, beaten enemies I had no right beatin', and all because I refused to believe I could lose." She grins slightly. "That prideful arrogance can be insufferable, I know, but it's served me well. Anyway.. obviously there's limits. I ain't immortal and I ain't unbeatable, but my point is just this.."

    "Don't believe you're a victim. Don't believe you're helpless. Believe in yourself and in your abilities, believe in your friends, people like me an' nii-chan and Mamoru. Believe that there's some kinda reason you got dragged into all this. You'll find a way to fight, even if it's somethin' none of us expect. You just gotta refuse to accept the world in which you don't."

    She smiles then. "Thanks again for the drawing."

Naru Osaka has posed:
Naru considers that, listening to Kyouko, a slow nod from her, and another, quiet agreement. There's no specific reply, just a quiet little smile and a more solid nod. "You're welcome, Kyouko."

Naru pushes herself up to her feet and pauses there a moment. "And thank you."

Kyouko Sakura has posed:
    Kyouko shrugs and offers an easy, lopsided grin. "Eh, I just tell it like it is, Naru-chan. I think you're stronger'n most, probably even than you know, else you wouldn't still be here havin' this conversation with me. I guess only time will tell what form that strength takes but, I'll be glad to be around to see it when it does."

    She turns then. "I'm gonna go find nii-chan and Mamoru. I'll see ya around, Naru-chan!" And with a wave, she turns to exit back out the way she had come.