2184/Homesickness

Homesickness
Date of Scene:	03 December 2016
Location:	Plot Room #1
Synopsis:	Amu visits Lacrima for a feeding. They talk about home and cookies and being a monster.
Cast of Characters:	Norie Okana, Amu Hinamori

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Norie Okana has posed:
The manor looks like it did the last few times Amu seen it. Nothing's changed, except the snow that's appeared in the last week or so. The main walk is shoveled. Also. The rusted open maingate has been removed- and in it's place and two new shiny steel gates. They actually swing open and can be closed- and don't require being beeped in to enter or anything- Amu just needs to push it out of the way carefully.

Lacrima greets Amu at the door- and offers her inside, politely. She's her usual, dour and depressed self it seems however. Not smiling. Quiet. Yup. It's Lacrima.

She turns around. "Hello Amu-chan, Are you feeling better?" she finally asks. She purses her lips and motions. "Sit down. I'll get. ....Snacks?" she says. "Yes. Snacks." she says. She tip toes off to the kitchen carefully.

No odd sounds today. There's a light sound of wind. But it's windy out. So that's no surprise. Right? Right!

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori walked over, happy as always. She was still coming for regular feedings now that she was better. Not as many, of course. And sometimes she needed Tadase to hug her after. But she was still doing it and having fun with her friend. And yes, Lacrima WAS her friend. maybe not her best friend, but still a friend none the less.

She walked inside and looked around. Yup, same old manor. She was in a cute little fuzzy pink and white outfit today, giving her an appearance oddly like a giant pink goat. The moment she saw Lacrima, well, she got the big hug! The hug she was probably so used to by now. "Hi Lacrima-chan! Yes, Snacks sound wonderful." Walking over to the big room to get situated. "So, anything new going on with you? Anything I've missed?"

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima happily fed from Amu. Well. For definitions of 'happily' from a vampire that can't feel 'happy' truly.

She places down what appears to be a plate of sugar cookies. They apparently have a christmas theme to them- the kind that screams 'I came from a tube with a design in the middle'.

Lacrima is not a good cook. At least this way they'll taste decent-- and they are not burnt. Though they are not warm either- though- ARE still soft.

She has also placed down a pitcher of milk and two glasses.

She politely bows and sits down.

"Anything... new?" she asks. "Not...really..." she says.

"I mean. A unicorn...friend of mine. Has been visiting. To try to help me though things. In my dreams." she says.

"Oh. Right."

"Unicorns aren't horses." she helpfully suggests without prompting.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori blinked a few times. She took a cookie and smiled. "They're delicious," she said once she had a bite. she always tried to be polite and gentle, kind to the poor Lacrima. The little girl was just so... well... she needed a friend. And Amu wanted to be that for her. She was getting better at all of this, too. as long as she didn't feed her too often, then she'd not get sick, everyone wins. She happily poured some milk and took a deep drink. "Ahhhhh!"

And then Lacrima dropped that bomb shell on her. Her eyes went wide. she stared. "Y-y-you know a unicorn?! Unicorns are REAL?" The excitement was palpaple. and then she eeped. "N-not... not that I... c-care about that kind of thing." Oh, she cared. She cared a lot.

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima head tilts. "Yes....?" she asks. "Vampires are real. I don't see why it's such a huge leap to belive unicorns are?" she asks softly. "I...met her. Early on. When I was this thing. She doesn't. Fight. She doesn't like to fight. Even if she has to, she doesn't. It's strange." she says softly.

She tilts her head the other way. "Do you want to meet her sometimes? I can. Ask her. To come. When she visits my dream next." she says softly.

"She doesn't...judge me. Too hard." she says. "So I appreciate that." she says.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nodded, lowering her eyes. Yeah. This other girl didn't judge her badly. Like Amu did. She could imagine why this other girl was liked. "W-well... I mean... I guess if you want to. That'd be fine. I wouldn't mind." she was totally mentally squealling about the whole thing. A real live unicorn! EEEEE! That was totally the coolest thing!

She moved a little closer and smiled to her. "I... I just... I ummmm...." She chewed on her lower lip. "Do you feel that... I... am judging you... too much? That I don't... help you... enough?" she asked softly, giving the girl's hand a soft squeaze. "I'm sorry if I don't make you feel safe and... wanted... around me..." She leaned in and gave her a hug. "I know we didn't get off on the right foot..."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima blinks a bit.. "Huh..?" she asks. "I don't. Think so." she says softly. "I mean. You feed me and...don't...lecture me?" she asks. "Like some others do." she says quietly. "You don't tell me I should change like it's so easy to do that." she says.

"No..I wouldn't say. Judge. Is something. You do." she says.

"...do you judge me?" she asks.

"It's..okay. If you do. Lots of people do. Really." she says quietly as she eats half a cookie-- washing it down with way too much milk and she refills her glass.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori shook her head. "Of course not! I think you're amazing! you're trying so hard to do the right thing and... and I'm really proud of you. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to go through what you do. To suffer through what you do. But you keep trying. You keep throwing your everything into it, regardless of how hard it gets. and... and I think that makes you so incredibly amazing. You're just so... special. So wonderful."

She gave her hand a little squeeze. "I don't know what it's like, none of them do. But... I know being harsh or hurtful won't support you. It won't... make things easier for you. All it will do is drive you down. Push you around. And... and I don't want that for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to... keep trying. And even if you make a few mistakes here and there, I'm sure eventually we'll be able to find a way to bring back who you once were. Even if it's not easy."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima frowns. "I think I'm at the limit of what I can do to make this better." she says softly. "What I need can only come from humans." she says softly. "So I need to drain them." she says gently. She takes another cookie. Nomnomnom.

Nomonomonom...

Nomomomomomom... she's taking her sweet time really because she doesn't wanna talk about this. Nomomomon.

She swallows eventually and finishes that cookie when she sighs a bit. "Ariel. That's her name." she says softly. "I'm sure she'll want to meet you." she says.

She head tilts. "Has... everything been okay for you?" she asks quietly.

"Nothign... going wrong. Right?" she asks.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nods and then smiles to her. "Of course! I haven't had any trouble. I got a bit scraped up by an x-egg the other day, but nothing major." she waved her hand dismissively. "Ariel? I think... it'd be okay to meet her. If that's okay."

She paused and... "How about... well... you said you might have a lead? How did that work? Did... it work out? Have you come up with a plan or anything?"

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima sort of curls up a bit. "You mean Spain? I haven't gone yet. My friends want me to go with a group I trust." she says. "And not alone." she says. She head tilts a bit. "X-eggs...like...." she just shakes her head a bit.

"Nevermind."

"I've been. Trying to. Make a converter." she says. "I can turn. Dark Energy. Into other kinds of energy. But it taxes the crystals. I was thinking I could. Make a converter that turns other energy into the kind I need. But it's too...special. It can only come from a person afterall." she says queitly.

"I'm still... trying to figure things out with it." she says. "I might still figure out something I can use to help myself with it." she says.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nodded, giving her hand another squeeze. "Well, your friends sound very smart and i think you should listen to them. X-eggs are like... they're the dreams of children that have been corrupted by dark energies. I'm one of the few who can purify them, so that's what I do. It's really all I'm good for, honestly," she mumbled softly.

"A converter? Really? Maybe if you had other magic to help with it? I mean, what if you had... purifying energy and other kinds of energy? If you found out how the conversion worked on those, rather than just dark energy, maybe you can better find out how the conversion works and get it to work properly, the way you need? so you won't need to feed at all anymore!"

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima frowns. "I know what X-eggs are." she says quietly. "Nevermind." she says softly. She works for those people. Afterall. /Those people/. The kind associated with Easter.

"Huh?" she asks. "I don't think I can convert purifying energy into much else." she says quietly. "It's better if I find different ways. I'm not much of a ...magical scientist."

"My. Mentor." Riventon-san. "Says that I have potential. I just need to work and understand a little harder." she says.

"I guess I want to understand myself better. The hows and whys...?" she asks.

"It feels..natural to me. Almost." she says quietly. "TO want that."

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nodded. "O-oh. I see. Ummmm... sorry. I wish I could help more..." she said gently, giving her hand another squeeze. "And... and if you... do... ever need help with anything, you know who to call, right?"

She grinned at her. "You're so smart! able to figure all these things out! and here I can barely even get my open heart right half the time," she joked.

"of course that's normal. We all want to know about ourselves. There's nothing wrong with that. and... if it gives you the chance to... cleanse yourself? That's good..."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima frowns. "I can't cleanse myself. If I cleanse myself, I'm... non-existent. I don't have a body. I'm not just... a human infected with dark energy." she says quietly. "I /am/ dark energy." she says. "I've said this before." she says.

"Nothing is going to change that..." she says curling up a bit in the couch, brining her knees to her chest.

"No amount of hoping or wishing or wanting." she says.

"So it's better just to focus on my cravings. Or finding energy sources." she says quietly.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori shook her head. "No, no no. I mean... having your... mind in... a new body, maybe? I mean... maybe it's... I don't know. Maybe rather than a body of dark energy... maybe you could be one of light energy? One of kindness and... I guess I just sound stupid, huh?"

She patted her back. "I'm sure eventually we can find something, Lacrima-chan. Even if you're... not like the other girls, you're still an amazing person. and... and I think... we'll find a way. Some way... to help you."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima nods. "I want you to meet... Natsumi-chan. Soon." she says softly. "I need her to know someone she can go to if she can't ahold of me. Or if I'm acting wrong." she says quietly.

She frowns. "I dunno if that's possible." she says. "I'd probably just consume that one too like my own body was at first." she says.

"...and just die all over again." she says quietly.

She frowns. "I'm waiting to. talk to Jiaying. To try to go back to ym family." she says quietly.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nodded. "O-of course. I can meet her, then!"

She paused, then shook her head. "N-no. That's what I mean! I mean if we can... can make it so you don't... won't eat through it any more. That you can be stable and... and be you. And not have to die. Ever." she leaned in and hugged her. "I... I don't know if we can but... maybe... one day?"

She blinked. "Your family? You're going home?"

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima frowns a bit. "I want to go back to my family." she says quietly. "It's lonely here. and Jiaying as her own family to worry about most of the time and that's fair..." she says.

"I want to... see my dad..and mom... and brother again." she says.

"I just. I need someone. To check up on me. Almost everyday. To make sure I'm not. Crazy. Or thinking about hurting anyone." she says.

"Jiaying. I trust Jiaying- for that." she says quietly.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nodded. "O-of course. If, if you need it, I can do it too!" She clasped Lacrima's hands tightly in hers and smiled to her. "I'll come by every day on my way to school, okay? Just to make sure you're still you and not..." She paused. "Not... bad. Okay? I promise. Even if I have to sneak in to do it. And if you want to meet them again, that's good! That means you're getting back to normal. A bit. I mean, not normally but... you want things."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima head tilts. "Maybe if you both do... one can.. do in the mornings and one.. the evenings. Just. Call me. Or text. Or something. Or come by to visit. My parents would like that. Knowing I have.. friends? again. Maybe they'd stop me going to the therapist then." she says quietly.

"The therapist doesn't help me. I can't tell the Therapist the 'truth'." she says quietly.

She head tilts. "Not normal. Just. Tired. Of loneliness." she says gently. "And sucking up and...going back. Is... something I can do. I just. need to be careful." she says quietly.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nodded and then smiled. "Of course. Every day. Okay? And... and if I can't make it, I'll text." She leaned back a bit. "Lacrima-chan if... if you like... you could... use me as a therapist? Kind of? I mean, I know I'm not licensed or anything. But I end up having to talk with all the x-eggs so I am pretty good at it. And... and maybe I could... give you advice that helps. And you'd never havee to lie to me. I promise."

"I know. I know it's scary. But... but you're smart and... and I know you can do it. and we'll help you. all of us."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima frowns. "No I know that. You already /do that/." she says. "The therapist thing I mean." she says. "But my parents will want me to see thier insured and liscened one still." she says miserably. "That isn't a problem. It just wastes time is all, as I sit there and nod and make up lies. 'Oh, I feel fine I guess. Today was 'good." she says as she rolls her eyes just a little bit.

She sighs a bit. "No. I know you're...helping." she says. "But not everyone wants to help me." she says quietly. "or understands." she says. "or don't /want/ to understand." she says.

"And I get that. I guess. I'm a horrible monster."

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori frowned and then gave her another tight hug. "You're not a monster. Stop that. Lacrima, you are a girl. You have suffered a lot. You have been through things NO ONE should ever have to go through. You... you're amazing and pretty. and wonderful. And kinder than you know or believe. You are NOT a monster. You are just someone who is suffering and who needs care and help, not hatred and anger."

She closed her eyes. "I want to help you. Others do, too. There will always be those who won't try to understand. but... it's not worth listening to those people."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima frowns a little bit. "I'm a /vampire/ Amu. I'm still all those things..." she says into the hug that she doesn't quite return. "But I am also a monster wether I want to belivie that or not." she says.

"I can't deny that. I'll just. drive myself crazy. If I do." she says. "And start beliving it." she admits.

She sighs some and purses her lips. "I'll need to explain things. Like the new clothes." she says softly.

"I like dressing like this. It feels... as close to. Comfortable. As I can get. Right now." she says quietly.

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori nodded and pulled back. "fine... but you're not..." she sighed. Whatever made her happy, she supposed. She leaned back and took another cookie. "I think they'll be fine with that. I'm sure they'll try to dress you in the wold ways but... I also think they'll be so happy to have their little girl back, they'll forget it and let you wear whatever you want."

Norie Okana has posed:
Lacrima frowns. "I'm not worried about that. It's more worrying and explaining away where I was for the past many months." she says quietly. "I'll just...say I ran away. That's beliveable. I was already disturbed. That's what they think already according to the news reports." she says.

"Yeah..I'll just. See a therapist after this. But that isn't. A big deal. To be back home. I think." she says quietly.

She sort of squirms a bit on her cushion. "Are you enjoying the cookies..?" she asks.

"They just come from a tube...but.. I dunno." she says. "Felt.. better than offering. Packaged."

Amu Hinamori has posed:
Amu Hinamori smiled and gave a nod. "Of course. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you home. I know my parents would be besides themselves if I disappeared one day. Though, my parents freak out if I come home late half the time," she said with a light laugh.

She took another cookie and nodded. "Of course. I think they taste delicious." She then rubbed her tummy and held out her hand. "so... we both know why I came here, though. I... I think you should do it. It's smart. and... here. Make it quick, okay?" she said with a smile.