2407/Little Faith
From MahouMUSH
Little Faith | |
---|---|
Date of Scene: | 25 January 2017 |
Location: | Earth Court Frat House |
Synopsis: | Eilam and Kunzite have a paranoia contest. Fortunately, Mamoru makes sure that nobody wins! (Content warning: language, deep-sea critters.) |
Cast of Characters: | Kunzite, Eilam Hisakawa, Mamoru Chiba |
- Kunzite has posed:
The address Eilam finds leads him to a luxury apartment building. Forty-eight floors, with a little mini-mall on the bottom. The forty-eighth requires speaking with a concierge to get access, but that seems largely a function of giving the inhabitant.
The elevator yields onto a hall with four doors. The right one is --
-- the right one is the one that is opening as Eilam arrives.
Kazuo does not speak. He bows to Eilam instead, closes that door behind him, and crosses the hall; unlocks a different apartment's door with a key (he did not lock the first one when he closed it), and bows Eilam inside.
Past the entryway is an elegantly appointed apartment; there are wingback chairs, paintings, a piano. An end table houses a Go board, stones waiting silently in their bowls. Nothing is collecting dust. Very little, except for the board and the piano, has much of a sense of having been used; the place is half stage set, just barely lived-in.
"My apologies for diverting you," Kazuo says without other greeting. "The primary area has visitors coming and going on an irregular basis. This is the most private; the other two residents who use it are not home at the moment. I presumed you would prefer not to be interrupted."
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
"..."
Coincidence, perhaps, but coincidence enough that Kazuo or Kunzite or whatever his name was, as given by Lacrima and the other boy felt the need to just get him out of the main area. Eilam himself was actually dressed rather 'fancy' today if others weren't used to seeing him dressed in an expensive business suit, with full trimmings. Not to mention the large black and silver-trimmed stave that he had with him as a walking aid. He followed along for the time being without saying anything, but once Kunzite started speaking, he reached into the suit he had on to pull out some papers that he had rolled up and rather rudely jab them towards the taller.
"It gives me little faith that you will somehow be able to keep my privacy in mind or even care about such when you cannot even care for yourself. It is like going to a vegan steakhouse, or going to a hairdresser with messed up hair." The contents of the papers were images of Kazuo's missing person reports and the old photos of him. "If I can find such so easily... well, you either do not care enough to try and cover your tracks, or something else is going on. Either way..."
He doesn't really snoop or look around, he was there standing in front of the person he'd came to speak to. In fact, Kazuo might realize that there is an air about the boy that heavily implied he might be a lot less childlike than might be simply from appearance. In fact he almost seemed like a parent who was attempting to scold a child. ...as pointless as such might be.
- Kunzite has posed:
Kazuo takes the papers with neither a blink nor a comment on rudeness; glances down at them, taking a brief flicker through the pages. Not enough time to read any of them. It's possible he recognizes them on sight. He offers them back with an efficient gesture, neither the kind of angry thrust Eilam used nor one that particularly cares whether they're taken back or not.
"I'm not concerned enough over a couple of years of anomaly to kill the people it would be necessary to remove," he replies. "I am concerned that you're sufficiently overwrought not to have discussed this visit with the young lady first."
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
"I have."
A simple enough remark.
"Not about these in particular, or you, but in general. She seems to have a large amount of faith in you two, enough that she has several times reassured me neither of you will betray my privacy. But when I tried to find a way to contact you, since you did not leave such when we last spoke, and found this?" There was a mixture of being tired, as well as being torn. "She means well, and maybe she is right, but when this is the first things I come across it really just makes me worry even more than I already have been." he sighs softly at that and takes the papers back to put back into his coat before leaning a bit more heavily on the stave, seeming to favor it. "Do you understand why I /am/ concerned? I want to trust her, her judgment... but I am not naive enough to do so blindly despite wanting to. So here I am to speak with you despite her faith."
- Kunzite has posed:
"In general, yes. But not enough for her to know you were planning a visit, and warn you about the traffic." Kazuo gives another of those slight shrugs, apparently unconcerned. "She also has contact methods for us. But I expect you would have done your research all the same." That doesn't seem to concern him particularly, either; if anything, there's the faintest note of approval.
He considers the question Eilam asks more directly. "Mn. I understand concern about the invasion of all of our privacy, certainly. Any further understanding would be based on speculation only. And, given both your preference and my priorities, I have not been devoting much effort to that speculation. Still. My understanding is not necessary for your concern to exist, and may or may not be necessary to address it."
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
"I may like her, I may wish to trust her... but in the end, she is still quite young. I am not going to blindly risk everything on a young girls faith. Because even if she is right, I have seen too many who decide hurting one person is worth helping two. Or three. And the more they think they can help, the worse it is for me. Consider it selfish, or whatever you like, I care little of what others may think of me in that regard. But I am going to continue to try to protect myself first until she comes to realize what I am truly worried about."
Eilam takes a step back before turning to look around a little, "Have you someplace to sit? If not I may find myself leaning against the door shortly. Getting worked up does... wear on my energy more than I would like, even if /it/ has not been causing me problems since. ...though that might change eventually knwing my luck."
- Kunzite has posed:
"Then come in." Kazuo gestures inward, toward the furnished living room just past the entryway; once the tiny space for exchanging shoes for guest slippers is passed (and Kazuo will say nothing if Eilam chooses pragmatism over politeness, there), there are wingback chairs and a matching sofa. "Would something to eat or drink be of assistance? We have the usual, and occasional gifts from an excellent cook; or if you would prefer something still sealed, there are storebought items not yet open, and a vast excess of ostensibly orange-flavored soda that might conceivably qualify as a drink to someone not concerned about their sugar syrup intake."
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
When he followed along, there was a brief moment where Eilam seemed to stop. By the slippers bit. Finally he sighs softly and turns slightly to lean against the wall to use the bottom of his stave to work as an overly extended shoehorn of sorts, to pry the shoe off. Then the other. If Kazuo watched, he didn't seem to kneel or bend over, instead going about the process while standing, using the staff to do things like slip into the shoe and lift it to his hand so he can undo the laces, then repeat the process with the other, dropping them and using his foot to catch the drop and slow it before nudging it into some amount of order.
Then he took a pair of slippers before following along. "I am... fine." he said softly, seeming a bit out of breath as he eased onto the couch and seemed to sink back onto it. "Despite living in Japan for... a bit, and having done so in the past, I have always found... that part frustrating. I know it is a cultural thing, and does take place even in other places, but... sometimes I relish western lack of traditions in that regard."
He seemed to take a moment to sort out his breathing before finally asking bluntly, "So... what of me did you see thanks to the... card or whatever it is? Please be honest, and full. And if you care to know in return... that is your choice."
- Kunzite has posed:
Kazuo says nothing, is not hurried. With most people, there is an indefinable sense present urging haste with things like these -- a sense of what are you doing, why are you taking so long, stop wasting time. With Kazuo, there is none of that. Eilam might as well be alone with the furniture and the walls.
There is a central chair, one in a space designed to focus the room on it. Kazuo does not take that one; does take one beside it, convenient to the couch's view. Does not comment on Eilam's frustration. Only answers his question. "Less of your history than of the other two," he says. "One primary sequence. Late 1930s, or for some reason a good imitation. Germany, Austria, or perhaps Poland. You were dressed as a well-off man, in a similarly well-off home that, if it was not yours, you at least felt some connection to and a proprietary concern over. There were others present, at least some of them servants; they thought well of you but not well enough to risk themselves defending you; this may have been your instruction, but I do not speak the language and could not follow the conversation. Soldiers had come to your door. Their leader instructed them to enter the home against your counter. You struck him with your stave and began to draw a blade from it; he shot you and presumed your death. You wounded him, here." His fingers show the place on his own side, recollection of the details of the anatomy perfect. "His people overwhelmed you and took you with them."
He does not ask, at present, for any return.
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
"..."
A bit of a sound escaped him as the other mentioned such. "So you know... saw. That I cannot die. Not... in any permanent fashion. I will always come back. Then you should also know why you seeing this terrifies me. Because what followed that was years of me wishing I /could/. Of people who had no concern for me, only advancing science or other motivations... I have trust issues. I imagine you can understand why. So perhaps you know why I came, why... I need to find some measure of assurances from you that you are not going to screw me in the process of whatever it is you wind up doing, or not, with what you know of me."
He did still have that same stave, so one could imagine he still had the same weapon in it too. Which meant he came here armed, not that he was aware of any rules or otherwise.
- Kunzite has posed:
Kazuo does not flinch from the possibility; he turns a hand over, instead. Palm facing the ceiling. "I did not," he says, "know. That vision could have been any of a number of things. Your past in this life. Your past in a previous life, from which you are now reincarnate; conservation of appearance has been known to occur. An ancestor who resembled you closely. Something else altogether.
"I chose not to investigate, because whichever of those was the case, your desire for privacy and isolation said a great deal, and the one to whom I answer finds politeness and a respect for privacy important; and because, pragmatically, no matter which of those was the case, any profit to be gained from it was so small as to be far outweighed by courtesy to a stranger, not to mention maintaining relations with Lacrima, not to mention the cost and opportunity cost of such an investigation. Not to mention that Endymion would have ben appalled, which is more of a factor than the rest put together. You've felt what he's like."
Kazuo considers Eilam for a few moments more. "If that is sufficient for you, then very well. If not, then we will continue. In either case, if you have questions, ask."
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
So Kazuo seemed far more concerned about the 'one he answered to' than himself. Which strongly implied he was on a leash and that Endymion, or Mamoru or whatever his name was held it. "So then I ask... if your Endymion was dying, and someone suggested finding a way to use my condition, my... curse, whatever it is, to save him - and I refused, what would you do? Would I suffer at your hands, or others hands at your wish, to protect them? That... is my concern. Plenty of people have good intentions, but when those good intentions come down to me suffering for others benefit, I care little. Someone I knew for five years, a doctor... one that had always respected my privacy. One who trusted that I was 'going to die soon'. Except when he found out that I could not die, by accident... the 'good man' that everyone love changed. Decided if he could just figure out what caused me to be like that, he could save lives. And my saying no was being selfish, and that I no longer had a say in the matter."
Eilam's fingers twitched. "Suffice it to say, he was not as... cautious as I was. And as a result he never got to impose on others after that. Regardless... I will never be satisfied until I hold something over you to ensure you will not. But, as it seems, the one you say holds your leash... you seem to care about what they think. Which probably means you also care more about them than yourself." He left that to trail off, not explaining further. Perhaps that was the intention, to let Kazuo fill in the pieces.
- Kunzite has posed:
Kazuo's eyebrows lift, just slightly. "If someone suggested that," he says, "I would tell that person that he or she was a fucking idiot." His tone does not change, even on the obscenity. "One does not solve a problem by compounding it exponentially. One likewise does not save someone by condemning him to permanent torture and madness; and being saved by damaging someone else would do that to him. You've been exposed to him. You know better."
Then Eilam moves on, and Kunzite's expression does not change; his head tilts to one side, just a little, spilling white hair over his shoulder; his eyelids lower just the slightest fraction, as if to shield out some light that Eilam cannot, at present, see.
"Interesting," is all that he says. The tone has, still, not changed.
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
"All it takes is one mistake, in this day and age. I do not have the luxury. I have worked too long, too hard, to have a place of safety for myself. But now with this... card or whatever it is threatening to expose me to others, in a way I cannot control... well, my hand is being forced. Especially because I was not aware of magic until recently. I have no idea how to approach this without hurting others, but at this point... I cannot even do nothing." And with that, he fell quiet, not really sure what to say at this point. Even having come here, he didn't come with bloody intentions or any such. He came because he was scared, worried.
- Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Except there's a guy in the doorway, leaning easily, expression mild. It's clear he's really only heard the last of the exchange, because there's a faintly inquisitive look to him. Endymion, in the Infinity high school uniform, holding an apple in one hand with a bite in it. "If you've been alive as long as you seem to have been, it's a little hard to believe you've been completely unaware of magic," he says lightly, "but I'll buy deliberate ignorance."
He glances to Kunzite, the angle of his glasses obscuring his eyes from Eilam with reflected light, but the angle from Kunzite's perspective is such that no reflection's in evidence. "Is there anything I can help with?" he asks the white-haired Shitennou.
- Kunzite has posed:
Kazuo glances up at the doorway, and his expression shifts to something momentarily resigned. "Tell me Zoisite isn't following you," he says. "If he is, kindly divert him; this conversation doesn't need his influence. Otherwise -- we're having an interesting conversation. Choices. Consequence. Biology."
He turns his attention back to Eilam. "Are you familiar with the term 'whale fall'? It describes what happens when a cetacean dies at sea, and the carcass is not completely consumed at higher levels and reaches the ocean floor. In the abyssal zone, that kind of concentration of resources is prized; the miniature ecosystems that develop can last for decades, first feeding on the carcass, then feeding on the scavengers. Osedax worms are particularly fascinating; it's not yet presently known whether they're specialized in consuming whalebone, or whether they're willing to generalize to any kind of skeleton."
Kazuo gives another of those slight shrugs. "And if you never investigate that particular line of thought any further, neither of us will ever have to find out. But I recommend not approaching any plans that would require me to preempt them. Particularly not when you already have routes that I already know about, which already, as I said, give me excellent pragmatic reasons not to trouble you."
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
When Mamoru showed up, and spoke, Eilam looked towards him. "I never knew. Not of it as magic, or anything. Even now... I do not know what caused me to be like this, or what I actually am. I do not even know if I am human." he seemed to quiet a bit, staring down at the floor as Kazuo began to speak. Something about it made him amused, how he went about such. "I have no desire to hurt either of you. I hate the smell of blood... I hate the smell of a lot of things. Death, pain... they come with their own scents. But Magic? Whatever it is, terrifies me more. Because I do not know anything about it. Not how to control it, Or protect myself from it, or even until recently that it existed. I thought maybe I had angered God or something, that I was not allowed to die. That... somehow I was to suffer forever. And even now I still am even if I have gotten comfortable."
Finally he looked up and looked between the two. "I just want control back. I cannot use magic, I have no special powers, or... knowledge. I'm just... powerless, once again, it seems, to control anything. And it is not even something I could have done anything about."
- Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"Zoisite's doing homework in my apartment. If he seems to be headed this way, I'll go divert him," Endymion says easily. He takes another bite of apple while Eilam's talking, chews, swallows. And then he wanders across the room and takes the chair that Kunzite had avoided, the one that seems to be the center; given what Clow had called him, and given what Eilam saw in the visions, it's probably clear why -- and also why Kunzite answers to him. In the process, he passes Kunzite, and his non-apple hand trails briefly through Kunzite's hair and over his head.
As the boy sits down and makes himself comfortable, he says mildly, "Not knowing what you're capable of doesn't mean you can't use magic, or that you have no special powers. I considered myself eminently useless until a little under two years ago, because I remembered nothing of who I was and didn't consider what was different about me to be magic." He pushes his glasses up, then switches the apple to the other hand and tilts his head back, elbows on the arms of the chair, crossing his legs. "Once Sakura's taken the influence of the card away, your underlying curse can be addressed. If you're still ill once the curse is addressed, that is something that I can help with -- that is, in fact, the kind of help that I specialize in, and something for which I require no compensation of any kind. I don't trade favors. I never expect others to consider themselves beholden to me."
A beat. "It's not what I'm for."
Then the young prince with the ancient eyes sits up a little, leaning forward slightly. "Knowledge can be gained. Control can be gained. My question for you is-- with this long life of suffering, with this inability to die-- once you're relieved of your burden, will you want to live?"
- Kunzite has posed:
There's little visible reaction to the touch, as well; Kazuo's head tilts a little in the direction Endymion's going in, that's all, as if dragged to the side by Endymion's hand in passing. His eyes half-close -- only half; he's still watching Eilam. But he's letting Endymion do the talking unchallenged, not offering comment or protest.
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
Eilam was quiet for a while. In fact, it almost seemed like he might not have heard the question. "I do not know. If you met me months ago... I would want the choice of when. To be able to... finish things. See the end of some things I want to know what happens in. Before that... perhaps I would have wanted to die then and there. Now, I do not... know." That question caught him by surprise. "If... curing my curse means Lacrima will... be stuck like I was, alone, forever... then maybe it is better it stays. No one deserves to be alone like that. She's still young, I do not want her to experience that if I can... protect her from it." he paused, "...plus there is someone else I want to see age, see them... be happy, grow, live. The one who introduced me to magic as you might know it." Seems it's less he wants to live, and more he just... wants to be there while others do.
- Mamoru Chiba has posed:
The important thing right now in this discussion is for Endymion's attention to remain on Eilam; it's only if the man looks down or away from him that Endymion will glance at Kunzite, read to see the differences between his face and his feelings-- otherwise there's only the silent, persistent presence of the prince in the back of his guardian's awareness.
He waits, eating the rest of his apple while Eilam considers, and does not interrupt.
At the end of Eilam's reasoning out of his feelings, Endymion nods. "So, a natural lifespan from here out, as much as any such life can be guaranteed. Being able to die means you'll have to be careful not to, and that you may not have the option of choosing when." And now he has an apple core. It remains in his hands for the moment, getting warm and smelling increasingly like apple juice.
"It will be an incredible change, and it will be one which has consequences you'll seriously want to consider. If you need falsified identification paperwork, we can see to that as well." He offers Eilam a faint smile. "Lacrima's not the only person with an indefinite lifespan, and she has a network of friends and people willing to help her, as well; even should they die and leave her, there will be some who won't, even if she hasn't met them yet. Your choice of whether to live as you are, in this half-life of neverending sickness and weakness and the feeling of powerlessness, but forever-- or whether to fix the curse and live healthy and human and mortal-- is a choice only you can make, and it can't be dependent on what you think of her. It causes her pain to see you suffer, after all, and it would cause her pain to lose you. The difference is that the latter pain would be further away, and alternates to her suffering may be procured in the meantime."
- Kunzite has posed:
It might, almost, be possible to begin to forget Kazuo is in the room. He doesn't go out of sight, doesn't leave his chair, doesn't particularly move. But there's that certain sense in which he might almost be part of the furniture himself, or part of the architecture, not something to be concerned about rejoining the conversation. He makes no sound.
Not himself, anyway. There's the brief quiet hum of a phone trying to let its owner know he's received a text. Endymion is already here; he ignores it.
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
"That is not something I can... decide like this. You might as well be asking me if I want to have you magic me into a woman or something, for as stark a change as it is, and as much as I can... imagine it, I doubt I would know what to do with it even if I got it." Eilam laughed softly at the prospect before adding, "I mean... even the other day, when you... did whatever it was you did to me. In three, four hundred years, maybe longer, I cannot think of a single day, a single moment, where I ever felt... alive for once. Like I was not just sitting here rotting away forever as I have been. And what did I do with it?"
He looked up towards him.
"Nothing. I sat there, terrified, because someone saw something from my past, someones, somethings... I just sat there, and wasted it." There was a hint of regret about him regarding such. "And now here I am, having come here to bitch at him for not being smart enough to, or not caring enough to, protect his own information - because I was scared of mine getting out. I should probably just leave, before something happens that will cause further problems." And with that he took a moment to try and push himself upright from the couch he was slouched on, to stand, primarily hanging onto the stave as he did as leverage.
- Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Endymion smiles a little, shaking his head. "I'm not telling you you need to decide it like this. I'm giving you things you'll need to think about in the intervening time between now and when all the pieces are in place to unravel your curse." He sits a little further forward, uncrossing his legs and leaning his elbows on his knees, apple core still dangling from one hand, sharp and brilliant ocean eyes focused solely on Eilam -- not judging. Evaluating, perhaps, but only in the impersonal way that someone trained to problem-solve might.
"Frankly, it's a set of useful problems and self-evaluations you can concentrate on that will have tangible results, giving you agency in your future, which is what you've lacked. It's something constructive and necessary, and it's something only you can do."
The smile actually gets a little affectionate, somehow-- it's an outward reflection of the emotions that Eilam felt from this boy, this man, while he was healing him in Lacrima's house. "You had every reason to be frightened; your privacy was invaded in a way you didn't wish or understand. So was ours. I need you to understand this now, though: none of us cares about that. Having seen it gives us no right to it, just as you having seen ours gives you no right to that. You couldn't have known that at the time. Don't engage in useless self-castigation over what you feel is a squandered opportunity -- it will happen again, and next time, you'll have the luxury of being able to enjoy it."
He lifts a hand, then, standing up-- it's a hand requesting Eilam to stay a moment longer. "There are multiple layers to the situation of Kazuo's information having been unearthed. I trust he's assured you that it's not something you need be concerned with, or by; to a certain extent, we need to be reachable 00 but the privacy of those we help is sacred."
Then Endymion's smile is quick and bright, and just as boyish as his school uniform. "You haven't caused any problems. You don't have any experience in trusting anyone, so you're forgiven. Let me or Kunzite know if you need a ride anywhere, I know you're tired."
- Kunzite has posed:
Forgiven. For just a moment, Kazuo actually closes his eyes; exhales quietly; then opens them again and stands, with no further evidence of stiffness or irritation, no hint of a glare. "Also," he says, "our situations are not congruent. I had one gap of five or six years; that's within normal variation for appearance. This body will age normally henceforth. I had no significant reason in the long term to object to the person who was looking for me going on to find me, and his sense of duty is sufficient that the disappearance of his efforts would have caused them to redouble. Leaving them in place was a better long-term solution."
There's a moment's pause, and then Kazuo nods toward the door. "I'll keep the hall clear for you. Unless you'd prefer a more direct transit."
- Eilam Hisakawa has posed:
"..."
Overall Eilam wasn't even really sure at this point what to say to either of them.As a result, he didn't! Say anything, that was. Though finally he shook his head, reaching into his pocket to pull out his cell hone and send a text or something similar only to raise up with a bit of a grunt. "i have no desire for you to wait on me. It is times like this I wish I could get drunk. It would be... nice, I imagine." and with that he began to walk back towards where his shoes were. Taking the slippers off, he didn't even put his shoes back on fully. Instead they were just loosely stepped into as he propped himself upright with his stave only to walk towards the exit, unless stopped. In the end he still wasn't sure what to make of trusting either of them, but for the time being, he's mostly come to believe Kazuo will fall in line with Mamoru, whatever that entails. So he seemingly just needs to deal with that one in the end. And though he seemed... insistent it would not be an issue, some things still nagged. "Death... is rest for the soul. When one cannot die, fears continue to build until life itself is a prison. Or something like that. I heard that once in a videogame of all things, though apparently that was referenced from some literary work. Sadly it is... true. Though I imagine only for me. I mean... who else in existence is as I am?"
- Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Endymion outright laughs at the last question, though there's no malice or mockery in it; the sound is clear and bright, and still, of all things, affectionate. "Answering that question would compromise the privacy of others, or I would. Just know that no matter how alone you think you are, you're not: everyone is a individual, but no one's problem is so arcane and unique that no one will understand it."
He doesn't try to stop Eilam leaving this time; this time, the prince heads for the kitchen to dispose of his apple core and wash his hands. "Have a good evening, Hisakawa-san."
- Kunzite has posed:
Kazuo shrugs in Mamoru's wake, glancing at Eilam. "If you were hiding..." And then paces out the exit before Eilam, calling the elevator to this floor, checking the other living room for guests (none present, and a glimpse of elaborate murals and mosaics), making certain in general that this time, there really will be no-one else seeing his departure. If they can get him out without a half-dozen magical girls catching sight of him -- he'd probably prefe it that way.