I Do Support You (Jin Meiyou)
|I Do Support You (Jin Meiyou)|
|Date of Cutscene:||05 September 2017|
|Synopsis:||After the ill-fated events in http://www.mahoumush.com/2880/The_Purity_of_the_Proto-Romantic_Friendships_of_Young_Girls Jin has a conversation with Osiemnastka.|
|Cast of Characters:||Jin Meiyou|
It was still sunny out -- even sunnier, perhaps, than it was before; the cloud cover had gone, leaving the sky to wash Tokyo in golden sunlight. Jin sat on the wide steps to a tall hotel, near the ashtrays by the doors, and he held his black armband in both hands, lowered to his lap. His skin was still red from embarrassment and fury, but fading with the unnatural calm that'd descended, and the tears that had leaked out -- surprising the old soldier in the young body -- had left dried salt tracks on his face.
"Why don't you want me to make friends?" he asked Osiemnastka.
Why shouldn't I want you to make friends? I told you to learn from them.
Jin made a sound of frustration in the back of his throat. "I could believe that if you weren't so rude. If you acted like the others, like Raising Heart and Nicomachea and-- and the other Devices. That one the little blonde girl had, he said your job was to support! So you should act supportive!"
I do support you.
All of a sudden, Jin was flooded with pain, the leg he'd crushed in the Walpurgisnacht ruins smashed and bleeding again; he stifled himself by sticking his knuckles in his mouth, and tears leaked from his eyes again. He knew it was no illusion. He knew if he tried to walk he would crumple to the ground.
Then it stopped. I support you, and I can support you more fully if you work with me. I told you that. So, make up your mind: do you wish my silence, as you demanded in the restaurant? Do you wish for my blending in? Or do you intend to do as I tell you? You should have gone to that meeting. Now you don't have the information, and you have laid the blame on me, when it was your decision to try and keep that throw-away job you don't even need. I said I would support you. Is your will, your drive, so easily distracted? Your brother, his father, his father's father -- none of them ever had difficulty determining what they wanted and acting decisively. Or is that the problem? Are you still waiting for them to tell you what to do?
The young veteran, broken in too many ways to count, still bit his lip as the pain subsided. Osiemnastka's words made guilt and doubt creep into his heart, and he answered in fierce denial. "I'm not! Just because that's what I was used to doesn't mean that's all I am, all I can do or be-- otherwise you wouldn't be helping me!"
That is true. What is also true is that you need to be better than he was, as I told you. You need to be PFC Kouboku all the time; you need to use magic to save lives, and to preserve your own so that you can save more, correct? He died because he valued the life of another above his own. He died a hero, but he is still dead. Your wish was to live his life for him-- but if you continue to value his life above your own, you will also die, and then nothing will be left of him.
Jin twisted the armband viciously in his hands, abruptly furious all over again, knowing it would do nothing to transfer his heart's pain to Osiemnastka but doing it anyway. "There was no one better than he was. Not his father, not his grandfather. His heart was so pure, and life did not leach that from him like it did his predecessors. I know that had he lived, it would not have done so with him! That he died is the mistake of the universe, not a mistake that he made. Of course I value his life above mine. Of course I value the lives of the people who need saving -- children made to fight, made to risk their lives and waste their pure intentions -- over mine."
Then you will die, and not even I can save you.
"I'll never die. He made sure of that."
Test it and see. Use me to make sure no child will ever die in violence. Use me to become the unrealized hero you worship. Stop wasting time with details, stop wasting time with making friends who would only try to stop you if they knew. Learn from them, yes, but do not share too much of yourself in the process.
"If you'd stop picking at me when I tried to learn, then we wouldn't have had this problem in the first place!"
If you learned faster, I wouldn't be inclined to point out your shortcomings.
"Fine. You wanted decisiveness: you do what I say, and you act like those Devices, and you don't do things like threaten Terios-san for intervening, and you do whatever it is you say you can do that means I can make sure no child will die violently, and I will learn from those mages and save lives and not die."
As you wish.
Jin couldn't be sure, but he suspected that what he heard in Osiemnastka's voice this time was smugness.