Her Existence Isn't Her Fault
| Her Existence Isn't Her Fault | |
|---|---|
| Date of Scene: | 19 October 2016 |
| Location: | Earth Court Frat House |
| Synopsis: | Post-Nephrite, Mamoru and Kunzite catch up on what happened with Sailor Earth -- both what they saw about her, and why each of the two of them did what they did, in the incident and after. |
| Cast of Characters: | Mamoru Chiba, Kunzite |
| Tinyplot: | Sailor Earth |
Kunzite has posed:
Sunday, it happened.
Monday, Kunzite stopped lurking in the apartment and went to his palace, leaving Kyouko keeping the 'paranoid and watchful' niche warm.
Tuesday, Naru and Usagi looked in on him.
Wednesday evening, he's back; no announcement, no drama, just the shadows releasing him in the apartment; after a brief conversation with Nephrite, no more than a couple of minutes, he manifests in the kitchen and checks to see if anyone's actually been keeping up with washing dishes.
As if nothing were, or had been, or ever could be wrong.
Mamoru Chiba has posed:
Wednesday evening, Mamoru's writing another research paper and trying to think about only it, and failing horribly. His coffee's unfinished and gone cold, and he's generally in emotional lockdown, fretting where no one can hear it over various mental links. And then a familiar feeling materializes in the apartment, and he shuts his laptop and creeps out of his room silently.
It's still silently that he arrives at the kitchen door and lingers on the other side of the threshold like a ghost, watching Kunzite for a moment.
Then, very quietly, "I'm sorry."
Kunzite has posed:
There's less detritus than Kazuo expected. That's a positive sign. He glances up from discarding a stray instant noodle wrapper, and is already turning toward Mamoru when those words are spoken.
The two strides that cross the kitchen are unhurried, casually paced; the embrace that enfolds him is tighter than casual, but not crushingly so. Kazuo bends his head, bringing skin against skin at Mamoru's cheekbone and temple; if there are echoes of discomfort in the distance, they are not with him, and don't so much as ruffle the surface of that steady, quiet love and stability.
Low, private, as quiet as Mamoru's first words: "What do you think you have to be sorry for?"
Mamoru Chiba has posed:
It's a moment of that contact against his head, cherished, before Mamoru's arms slip around Kunzite's waist and his head lowers to rest against a broad shoulder, forehead now against Kunzite's neck. And then he murmurs, "I made everyone angry with that stunt. I feel like I screwed everyone over, usurped the girls' handling of the situation, shushed you guys when you were only defending me-- revealed we're not all a united front-- put myself in danger... and you left. I must have hurt you with it."
Kunzite has posed:
A hand slides up over his back, warm pressure, till fingers can run through his hair. Now it sticks up in even more directions. "What hurt me," Kazuo says, "was holding on to her energy as long as I did. The emotional problems I had were secondary to the metaphysical, not the cause." He draws a deeper breath for a moment, lets it out quietly; bends his head for just a moment to let his chin rest briefly atop Mamoru's head. Then lifts it again, so that he can talk freely. "And ... the rest of us were reacting, not thinking. Even Venus. You and Asclepius might have been the clearest heads there, when the crisis point came; with Moon a close third, and that far back only because Venus' reappearance distracted her. The rest of us -- her existence, as she is, is offensive enough that we saw it as an attack in itself, and stopped remembering what you and Moon are trying to do."
Mamoru Chiba has posed:
The prince is silent for another moment, digesting this. And then, slowly, leaning into Kunzite a little more and still talking against his collarbone, "Her existence isn't her fault. Even if it's someone's attack, it's not hers. We really don't know enough about her yet. And there was enough dark energy in her to affect her judgement, but some of her energy felt like mine-- she really could be from another universe or timeline. I mean, Homura is."
Mamoru lifts his head again, lifts it enough to pull back and meet grey eyes with blue. The words are measured, now, but they come faster, an explanation or a justification or both-- maybe just a confirmation. "We have to be fair. We have to hear her out, even if all the stuff she was talking about is wrong for here. Even if we look into her background, even if a million things-- if she is from here, and someone messed with her head, then she needs our help. And she won't talk to us if we just fight her. Usagi's idea was good in theory -- give her a source of energy that isn't stolen -- but we can't give her access to the energy of the Ginzuishou like that. If we talk to her-- I'm for sure not blocking anyone from using anything they have any right to, so maybe if she's me from elsewhere we can find out why she can't just use energy from Earth. I had to make a show of good faith. Even if it hurt Mako's feelings, hurt everyone's feelings, I had to show her that the person she's accusing is willing to listen. I have to treat it like a legitimate grievance, otherwise I'm a tyrant with a gang; we have to be better than that. All of us have to be worthy of the power we have."
He lets out a breath, and his fingers curl, gripping Kunzite's shirt behind him. "She shook me, but who wouldn't be shaken? And if Mako'd pile-driven her, it would've been in the face of the smoking bomber she let go of when I got her out of the way. And then it'd've been a dogpile and she'd've gotten out of there, having been proven right. We can't let her be right."
Kunzite has posed:
The correction is not a correction. "We don't know that her existence is her fault. And until we do -- we need to remain aware that she herself may be a victim." As they were. That Kunzite is far more willing than Mamoru to accept the possibility of someone intentionally damning themselves ... in no way disrupts the main point that Mamoru makes aloud a moment later, that Kunzite is already agreeing that he was right about. They have to be fair.
They have to be better than that.
Even when they don't want to.
No contact now; Mamoru could feel the answer before he lifted his head, but Kunzite says it aloud now as well. "Yes."
There are other things he needs to say, to talk to Mamoru about what he was able to see of the energy she was using; but those are secondary considerations. This one stands alone. Yes.
Mamoru Chiba has posed:
"...oh-- oh, right," Mamoru says, glancing down and away a little. "Her existence as she is, you said. Not her existing at all, that's never the fault of the one who exists, but that's-- getting awfully philosophical." He's not letting go; he looks up again at the 'yes', and his smile is small, but real. Relieved. His own chagrin hasn't really left-- he is an empath, and Kunzite's not the only one he felt he hurt, but it's abated. His regret has, too.
One hand slips away from Kunzite's waist and he reaches up to brush white hair away, back behind the man's ear. Just that light touch is suffused with 'I missed you' and 'I thought you were mad at me and that was silly, wasn't it'. He laughs a little, and finally pulls away some, but it's only to pull Kunzite by the hand, out of the kitchen. "I've been a jerk all weekend, kicking people out when they wouldn't leave me alone. There's more, isn't there? Tell me."
Kunzite has posed:
The kitchen is abandoned willingly; hand in hand answers those impressions with a warmth that assures the first was mutual, and a faint amusement that assures that if Kunzite is ever again actually angry with Mamoru, he will make it unmistakable.
(They've learned, after all, what can come of letting these things fester.)
"The energy she was using," Kunzite answers. "You identified the dark energy component. But there was ... the greater part of it was something else. Wild, unstable. Destructive, as wild things are. I had trouble holding onto it long enough to release it safely. After it was over -- part of why I went away was simply to make sure that if I lost containment on the rest of my reserves, no-one would be hurt. Doing better now."
Part of it, he doesn't need to say, is whatever that dark energy component did to him. But he's showing evidence of recovery there, too.
